I understand your struggle, in a sense.
I made poor choices when I was a teen, was really mean to people and it sort of left a stain on my reputation in the ARPG community over on DeviantART.
People still hold grudges against me because of it, despite me trying my best to be a better person in general. The worst part is, people refuse to reach out to me and discuss the issues they may have with me… they just let resentment build up and then blame me when things go wrong because of it.

Thanks, Noelani. It means a lot, really.
I know I've wronged some people over the years, some more so than others, but I really just wanna figure out how I can mend it in general. More often than not it can be fixed, but that's still not 100%. And that's what gets to me, you know?

I think as long as you recognize your mistakes and strive to do better, then you’re good. If people continue to hold grudges past that, then that’s their problem at that point. Some things you can’t do anything about and that’s okay, no reason to stress over it!

Be the best you can be ! And people will think good of you. Of course, we can't always get along with everyone we meet, sometimes things just clash for some reason or another, and you might not be able to change their opinion of you. Don't let that get you down, the important thing is that we get along with the people we care about and hold them close.
Don't try to appeal to everyone, you will only end up spreading yourself too thin and maybe eventually break because of it. Focus on the people that are important to you, and they will almost certainly also be there for you when you need them.

I appreciate that, Melon. You're totally right, and one of my issues is figuring out when someone isn't a right fit for me xP

Your past mistakes and actions don't define you. How you react to and handle the consequences does.

Intent doesn't matter when it comes to messing up. If you messed up, you messed up. If you messed up bad, then you messed up bad. Your words and feelings don't remove what happened from the situation. What does are the actions you take to make that crappy situation into a better one. That is what you will be remembered by.

Yeah, this is important. The first step, if you've genuinely screwed up, is to acknowledge the issue. Then you gotta fix it.

Even though we don't really talk much anymore. I've always remembered you fondly. You always make me smile.
We all make mistakes all we can often do is try to improve ourselves so that we do better each time.

Hey, thanks Molrid. You can talk to me any time, you know <3
Thanks for the words, you're a sweet guy too.

Hard to say what's going on, but I'm of the opinion that no matter the mistake, there's always room to grow and change. That said, some things cause irreparable damage, or if it is reparable, it may not be for you to decide. That's the tough part. But what you can decide is your future behavior, and that's what you should focus on I think. Decide to be great!

Vauruk, this helps a lot actually. I appreciate the insight. You're right about the tough part--one of my biggest flaws is a continued desire to try and improve things, and often it's hard for me to accept that I've done what I can. But it's something I can grow into.

Ask yourself "what have you done that's so bad" and ask that out loud. Act as if you're explaining what a 'terrible person' you are to someone else - do they agree, or do they laugh at you being silly? I would personally guess the latter, but maybe not. If not, what can you do to make it better? It might be nothing but to do better next time, and that time may never come. And even then, you can only offer.

It's not about being perfect, but trying to keep your side of the street clean - it's all you can do.

fwiw, I think of you fondly and you have certainly not exacerbated any problems for me. If anything, it's the opposite and I thank you

Yeah, this is what I'm coming to realize. As long as I watch myself and try to be the best I can, I'm sure better times will come.

You too, Lashyn. I appreciate you being around c:

Ahh, this is a topic I am intimately familiar with, so I hope you don't mind me sharing my experiences despite not knowing you.

I was a troubled youth and I never got the mental health care I needed until very recently. I hurt a lot of people in the past, not because I enjoyed causing pain, but because I had severe issues with abandonment that caused me to lash out, a lot.

For many years, whenever I saw someone I used to know (and fell out with), I would try to reach out, explain away the reasons for my behaviour/anger, saying I'd really like to start over, etc.

I had mixed success. Sometimes I got told off immediately, other times I got no response at all, but occasionally, the person would talk to me again, although with a healthy dose of distance and skepticism, meaning it was never the same again.

All 3 of those scenarios hurt like hell. I was really upset and took it hard when I couldn't "fix" things, and I would often flip flop between asking what's wrong with me, and why people are so keen to hold onto grudges over a distant past.

Truth is, people are complicated. Some just deal with the hurt by shutting it (and by association, you) out for good. Some have been abused, and simply don't believe you when you say you're a better person now. Others are just angry and hold onto grudges for life

The one, singular, most important thing I have learned in the recent years, both through therapy and experience: If you're stressed or upset about something, ask yourself if you've done everything you reasonably can in order to remedy the situation. (Did you apologize? Explained what happened? Elaborated on what steps you've taken to better yourself? etc.)

If you have done this, and the result is not what you hoped for, then it has officially become a matter beyond your control.

The best way to deal with matters beyond your control is simply to accept them for what they are, remind yourself you tried your best, pat yourself on the back for a job well done and then.. This is the hardest part.. Simply move on and let it go.

It can be really hard to do this at first, but like many things in life, it becomes easier with practice. The tricky part is re-aligning your perspective to stop tearing your hair out over "how to fix it", and instead remind yourself that the ball is now entirely in their court and you've done all you can.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself, the fact you made this post and you're thinking about it already means that you care a great deal. Remember that :)

Sorry for the wall of text, just an issue that hits home for me and something I still need to remind myself of on occasion.

This was a really fabulous response. I appreciate the effort a lot, and this helps. Thank you for the words <3

My pleasure, I am happy that it helps! <3