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Post Birthday Blues
4 years ago
Wow… I am even more in my 30s now, and 10 years since graduating college… I am still living with my parents. I know with given current events and the average circumstances of the times and the rates of things in the state I live in, that’s not TOO surprising, but still disheartening after all that time since finishing that “milestone” of college…
Not going to lie, I wasn’t expecting myself to just be super well off right out: but after all this time: I thought I would do better both financially and productively.
My dayjob has been the same thing for years now. I keep getting sideline to try to get into other departments to get more hours and better pay, and I am still uncertain with App-Service Job to apply too, either cause I fear it might be screw me over somehow or I would have to deal with wrong kind of people, and considering last year (and the last 4 too) that is a lot to consider.
Until I get more money, most of my creative ventures has be slowed down or put on hold until I can properly afford them in a regularly manner… I am trying to learn more with my free time, but with computer limitations (glitches and errors in some programs I work with) as well as just the uncertainty that comes with making online-artist money, I am not sure how to properly invest with what time and money I have…
And speaking of, while I do try to enjoy my life and apply myself more, I am still stun how much time just passes me by when I work… though I think it might be part of that weird state of mind when you just want to do something, but you put it off because it seems too much to even start, but then you still feel bad about it… I mean, I had roughly 3 days and half days to just write and post this journal, and I am now just finishing writing and posting it at the end of the last day!
Overall… I am another year older in a world that seems to be getting more intense and on edge, and years of hard work for a path that is mostly uncertain to me for how I would live… yeah… real birthday blues…
At least I can say I have friends who been helping through this, either by making me laugh, helping me with ideas, or just trying to get me to be the best I can be. I have find it hard to relate to other recently, especially with my family, so having you guys around is a big relief to me. I may not get a lot of comments for my art or journal entries, but I know some good people have my back in life… and that’s enough for me…
Not going to lie, I wasn’t expecting myself to just be super well off right out: but after all this time: I thought I would do better both financially and productively.
My dayjob has been the same thing for years now. I keep getting sideline to try to get into other departments to get more hours and better pay, and I am still uncertain with App-Service Job to apply too, either cause I fear it might be screw me over somehow or I would have to deal with wrong kind of people, and considering last year (and the last 4 too) that is a lot to consider.
Until I get more money, most of my creative ventures has be slowed down or put on hold until I can properly afford them in a regularly manner… I am trying to learn more with my free time, but with computer limitations (glitches and errors in some programs I work with) as well as just the uncertainty that comes with making online-artist money, I am not sure how to properly invest with what time and money I have…
And speaking of, while I do try to enjoy my life and apply myself more, I am still stun how much time just passes me by when I work… though I think it might be part of that weird state of mind when you just want to do something, but you put it off because it seems too much to even start, but then you still feel bad about it… I mean, I had roughly 3 days and half days to just write and post this journal, and I am now just finishing writing and posting it at the end of the last day!
Overall… I am another year older in a world that seems to be getting more intense and on edge, and years of hard work for a path that is mostly uncertain to me for how I would live… yeah… real birthday blues…
At least I can say I have friends who been helping through this, either by making me laugh, helping me with ideas, or just trying to get me to be the best I can be. I have find it hard to relate to other recently, especially with my family, so having you guys around is a big relief to me. I may not get a lot of comments for my art or journal entries, but I know some good people have my back in life… and that’s enough for me…
University Dropout over here. I'm not expecting to be rich as an artist, but I do hope to be good enough to make a living off of it someday. ^^;
Uber is a scam. Fuckin' liars.
God I hate laptops. PCs that run on 8/8.1 and 10 aren't much better, but that's why I suggest to people to buy a machine with 7 Ultimate on it. It might not cover everything moving forward, but if you take care of it, it'll last you.
I don't know the exact words for that, but it sounds like some kind of weird mix of procrastination and auto-piloting. Used to do that myself in my owl bartending job.
Honestly, the world is kind of a mess, but nice things are happening. Look at how the governor of Florida is being shut down every time he tries to cut funding to school for having mask regulations. Also it looks like a Dem might actually win then next election in Florida, so maybe it's not all bad?
Heck yeah you have friends! Kind of kicking myself for not paying more attention to posts and journals, but that's kind of my way of dealing with the world and people. Sorry. ^^;
Happy Belated Birthday.