A long time ago, back when I was just a random writer who posted once a year, with spelling errors and no standards, one man took the time to take me in. He let me write stuff for him, even as I was a nuisance and drama queen in his server. Even as all of his friends told him to just ditch me, he never gave up on me. He was an amazing man, and I idolized him to admittedly unhealthy degrees.

He was immensely popular, but he still talked to me as a friend. A worthless, stupid teenager like me. I swore to become popular enough to be able to speak as equals.

But as time went on, I grew further away from him. I grew more popular, and I began to see him as a rival. Someone to surpass. I saw his server as a burden, something I stayed in out of obligation, not desire. I grew angry at him for never taking the time to talk to me, forgiving people I couldn't.

And now... he's dying. He can't use his arms. The future I was working towards will never come to pass. I'm... not sure how I feel. Someone who was important to me is dying... and even then, I'm not even sad. I just... feel empty. He was such a large part of my life back when I was first getting popular, before I even met Error... and now he might never even see the person I'm becoming. My whole goal was to surpass him so we could talk as equals, and now... that's never going to happen. Everything is gone before I have a chance to do anything about it, and I can't even cry...

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now... I want to write a story for him, but he more than likely won't even be able to read it... am I just being greedy? Capitalizing on his suffering for inspiration?

I really hate myself sometimes...