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Love or Lust?
16 years ago
My mate and I are still going strong for being so far away. love is one of the most important things to me but not being able to holed him in my arms or just be able to feel his warmth its... well its daunting... I hate this feeling. so I have found myself in a dilemma.
I have recently gotten back in tuch with my... well for all intensive and purposes my X-mate. We have been spending the time that we never got to spend together and I have found myself to be having a lot of fun, but... the truth is all I feel when Im with him is lust and safety. he had told me that he loves me now and well I.. I still love him but he hert me more then once before and I don't want that to happen again.
We are still good friends but the love I once had for him is locked in my heart and it should stay there. Unfortunately when I am with him, he has this charm that seems to cast a spell over me, it tamps me to do things that I know I shouldn't do, but I know I want so much...
so you see my problem. i have undoubted love for my mate and we have a grate emotional relationship, but I miss the feeling of a physical relationship with him. With my X being here for me I can have that physical relationship but I would lose the bond I have with my mate if I do that.
I know I don't want to cheat on him and I don't want to lose him. but I don't want to string my X along either...
Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest. Comment if you would like.
I have recently gotten back in tuch with my... well for all intensive and purposes my X-mate. We have been spending the time that we never got to spend together and I have found myself to be having a lot of fun, but... the truth is all I feel when Im with him is lust and safety. he had told me that he loves me now and well I.. I still love him but he hert me more then once before and I don't want that to happen again.
We are still good friends but the love I once had for him is locked in my heart and it should stay there. Unfortunately when I am with him, he has this charm that seems to cast a spell over me, it tamps me to do things that I know I shouldn't do, but I know I want so much...
so you see my problem. i have undoubted love for my mate and we have a grate emotional relationship, but I miss the feeling of a physical relationship with him. With my X being here for me I can have that physical relationship but I would lose the bond I have with my mate if I do that.
I know I don't want to cheat on him and I don't want to lose him. but I don't want to string my X along either...
Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest. Comment if you would like.
You're currently long-distance, and you're (if I'm reading this right, correct me if I'm wrong) sexually unfulfilled. If you talk to your mate and they ask you to abstain... Well, it's up to you, but the ball is not really in their hands at this point.
It's natural to be lonely, and attach yourself to the next best thing, and if you want to follow through just talk to your mate and explain that while there is distance, you still have needs that you want met and not painfully repressed.
It's not cheating with permission, but you will need to recognise you may re-develop new feelings for your ex if you follow through, and you need to remember they will in all likelihood be temporary. Remember that if you could only have feelings for one person, family relations would be a bitch to maintain. It's up to you in the end to assess who means more to you, but I don't think you will lose your emotional bonds with your current mate if they are strong, you will just have to rebuild the sexual aspect when they return.
That's just my opinion, with little to no life experience and too much time listening to Dan Savage xD