last one was 8 months ago so, yeah i guess.

uh... life still sucks ass but i feel better about it? I was put on medication for chemical imbalance cause apaprently if you hav euntreated depression for too long you literally develop a chemical deficiency because your body soaks everything up to try ot give you energy so the mood part of your brain gets jack shit lol.

It's helped a lot though, i don't get so depressed anymore and it helsp ahving actual work to distract me from it. It seems most of my problem has shifted to anger and frustration. Also the medicine gives me racing hearbeats whenever i exert myself so uh... oops i guess. i've almost passed out like twice.


Though unfortunately, the depression came crashing back full force this past week because my cat Skie passed away early Friday morning, i think like 4am. He had a stroke earlier and couldn't move his legs at all. when we rushed him to the emergency vet they said his treatment would be nearly $1300 plus whatever his primary vet needed to do and even then with his age there wasn't a very good chance that he'd recover so we opted to.. jsut.. well you know. Skie hated- and i mean HATED being handled and maneuvered- and he couldn't walk anymore so he'd have ot be fed, changed, and cleaned. plus we could barely affor his cremation, the unlikely to work treatment was quite literally impossible.

So, now it's down to 4. Polka was depresssed for days casue she was a daddy's girl, so for about 3 or 4 days all she did was sleep. toulouse and stormy stopped fighting so much though. But ti still hurts when they gather for lick-fest in the middle of hte hallway and there' sonly 4... or when i refill the food bowl and only stormy shows up.

It's just a lot. But I can't jsut shut down because then we'll be fucked for real. we all still gotta work.


Uh... okay.. something.. not depressing uhm... idk.
I made a really good friend through genshin? She's awesome, so bubbly and silly she's like an excited puppy. She used ot call herself annoying all the time but she's just excitable. And so helpful. We haven't talked a ton lately cause she's been busy with therapy and she got a new kitten (his name's oliver and he's adorable. It's kind of interesting that he's also orange and white... skie is too).
I haven't mentioned skie to her cause like.. idk. she's havign such a great time with oliver i don't wanna be a downer, you know? It's different when you talk about stuff in a public place where people cna choose to see it or not and choose to engage or not, but when you DM it to someone directly you're jsut putting ti right in theri face to deal with and i don't wanan do that.

but anyway, that's the life happenings i suppose. now back to drawing.