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Film Review - Assault on Precinct 13 (2005 Remake)
4 years ago
I've not seen the original Assault on Precinct 13 since I was a teenager or in my early 20s, but I remember liking the film, even if I only remember a few things about it. I had no interest in the remake until I needed something to watch with my mam that she wouldn't complain about.
Sure enough, the new film is not great.
The plot is that a snow storm means a police bus has to stop at a small police precinct until the storm passes. Said precinct is in the process of being decommissioned and so only has a few staff.
The station is attacked by crooked cops who want to kill one of the criminals so he can't incriminate them at trial. And once the others at the precinct learn this, they also have to be killed.
Laurance Fishbourn steals the film as the enigmatic criminal Bishop. The action is fine, even good at times. The highlight for me being when Bishop throws two molatovs at a guy at close range. The motivation for the characters makes more sense in this version compared to the originals vague "gang wanting to kill an old man" plot, but because I've not seen it in a long time I could be wrong about that.
Unfortunately, the new film falls apart in pacing, geography, and actions of the characters.
First, the pacing. The film is nearly 2 hours long, but a good 30 minutes could easily be cut. I know this because I fast forwarded through a lot of the early film, which is boring drama nonsense I didn't care about.
The film has what I call an idiot plot. Things only happen because people do stupid things, and they do stupid things to make the plot happen. The most common example is the bad guys hesitating to shoot the good guys when they're cornered. Giving plenty of time for another good guy to teleport behind them and kill them.
Then there's the geography. The film seems to work on serial killer logic with people able to teleport when they're off camera. By far the worst example requires some spoilers. Near the end of the film, a car is speeding down an ally, crashes, and then we cut to the middle of the woods. I'd show the scene if I could just to prove I'm not lying.
This cut was so jarring, I had to rewind to see if I accidentally skipped part of the film. This could be an error in the Netflix version, but my mam is saying "well, maybe there were trees behind the building", but when the credits roll, we see they're pretty deep into the forest. Something is wrong here.
Overall, I can't recommend Assault on Precinct 13. It has a few fun moments, but not enough to justify it's run time or make up for flaws elsewhere.
Sure enough, the new film is not great.
The plot is that a snow storm means a police bus has to stop at a small police precinct until the storm passes. Said precinct is in the process of being decommissioned and so only has a few staff.
The station is attacked by crooked cops who want to kill one of the criminals so he can't incriminate them at trial. And once the others at the precinct learn this, they also have to be killed.
Laurance Fishbourn steals the film as the enigmatic criminal Bishop. The action is fine, even good at times. The highlight for me being when Bishop throws two molatovs at a guy at close range. The motivation for the characters makes more sense in this version compared to the originals vague "gang wanting to kill an old man" plot, but because I've not seen it in a long time I could be wrong about that.
Unfortunately, the new film falls apart in pacing, geography, and actions of the characters.
First, the pacing. The film is nearly 2 hours long, but a good 30 minutes could easily be cut. I know this because I fast forwarded through a lot of the early film, which is boring drama nonsense I didn't care about.
The film has what I call an idiot plot. Things only happen because people do stupid things, and they do stupid things to make the plot happen. The most common example is the bad guys hesitating to shoot the good guys when they're cornered. Giving plenty of time for another good guy to teleport behind them and kill them.
Then there's the geography. The film seems to work on serial killer logic with people able to teleport when they're off camera. By far the worst example requires some spoilers. Near the end of the film, a car is speeding down an ally, crashes, and then we cut to the middle of the woods. I'd show the scene if I could just to prove I'm not lying.
This cut was so jarring, I had to rewind to see if I accidentally skipped part of the film. This could be an error in the Netflix version, but my mam is saying "well, maybe there were trees behind the building", but when the credits roll, we see they're pretty deep into the forest. Something is wrong here.
Overall, I can't recommend Assault on Precinct 13. It has a few fun moments, but not enough to justify it's run time or make up for flaws elsewhere.
