In less than 24 hours Kingdom Hearts 3 will be playable at midnight if you preordered it on PS4. Is anyone else hyped for it?!

I know I am about... 11 days late to this. But better late then never right!? :3 So here we go.

I am going to be completely honest with you all. This year was not the greatest for me. It was one bad/scary thing right after another. And through all of it, I had many anxiety attacks. One that was so bad it took me to my doctor and they put me on anxiety medication. Which thankfully has been helping me through this year. And due to all that anxiety, I have been put off of writing greatly. Not saying that I am quitting writing. There will be more to come... eventually. I just feel as though I am not able to put myself in a writing mood with all this anxiety. It's hard to sit down and write a full story because of it. So if I am going to continue writing, I need to fix this first. So I can enjoy writing and not have my mind going places it shouldn't. So someday, I shall continue writing stories. But right now... I need to get better. So bare with me for a while. Things are getting better. Just at a very slow pace.

Things that have really helped me as well as my medication. Is chatting and gaming. These have really been helping me through the year. And I especially need to give a shout out to my adorable doggo  wildhusker for hearing me out in my times of need. I have probably yacked his ear off this year. So I need to thank him for being there for me when times were really bad.

Also, if you guys want to add me on PSN, you can add me on dez_fangster. That's my only gaming platform. And I mostly play Dead By Daylight recently. So if you play and want to get into a Survive With Friends sometimes. By all means add me and we'll do some surviving :3 Just please let me know in your friend request that you are from here. :3 Thanks

But now looking forward. I am going to focus on making myself better. Getting over this anxiety and trying to go back to my happy silly jex self. Also, Kingdom Hearts 3 comes out in 18 days. So ERMAHGERD hype to the maximum. And for the rest of the year. I just hope things go well and get a bunch better.

So yeah, that's all that needs reviewing and looking forward to for the time being. :3 I hope you all have a great day and a fantastic year :3

I know I am a tad late to it, but I hope all of you have a great 2019 :3

Happy Birthday To Me! :3

I am 24

OMFG! Did anyone else enjoy those trailers. I know I did! And can you believe it!? The release date (from what I hear) will be revealed at E3!

Such hype
much excitement
WOW!

I was curious because I started a party and looking to gather some more member. I am a member of the Leopardus union. Sadly I cant add anyone who isn't apart of Leopardus (it's a game rule) So if there's anyone who plays and wants to join a party I am more then happy to add people. Hehe. Everyone is welcome :3

I would like to clarify right now, that the video clip in this journal may contain spoilers for Final Fantasy 15. So if you are currently playing... or plan on playing it soon. And don't want any spoilers. I recommend NOT reading any further.

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Alright so, I was playing FF15 and I had just gotten to the part where Noctis gets pulled into the crystal and meets Bahamut. Well, while I was playing I was jumped by a very deep and powerful voice... no joke. I had headphones and at a fairly high volume. And all of a sudden I was met with a deep and powerful voice that I swear to good god could shake mountains.

This is what I heard ----> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWtd8r_2sjw

It jumped the hell out of me lol

But once I recovered from the horrifying experience. It got me thinking a few things.

First, Is Bahamut a male or female?... Because the voice tells me male... but the eyes tell me female. Because it looks like his eyes have some heavy eyeliner on. Maybe Bahamut is an extremely masculine drag queen???

And I also thought. Do you think the reason they didn't show his face was becasue there's no face in the history of ever that would match the voice?... If you can think of one HUMAN face that would match tht voice then I am curious and would love to see hehe. Because I cant think of one. lol

And as a final question.... hmmmm.... FF15 Bahamut, would you smash?... Personally, I probably would... of course with size adjustments... otherwise I'd DEFINITELY die! lol

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Like I said, this journal was pointless and had no important info in it what so ever. I did this because... it's late, I can't sleep, I'm bored, and was curious about what other people thought hehe :3

So yeah what do you guys think?

So 2017 was not the greatest for a few different reasons. Reasons that I will explain in this journal.

1. I set a goal at the start of the year. A goal to write 10 stories. And I didn't reach it. The reason for that being work and other real-life things that got in the way of my writing. However, I am not completely disappointed. I did manage to get pretty close to the goal. I wrote 7 stories. So that's a good thing. I got more done than I thought I did.

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(From here, things start to get a little bit depressing, so if you don't want to read depressing stuff. I recommend clicking away now.)

2. I was used almost used a lot this year. I mentioned this in a previous journal. Though that was brief, I never really went into all of the stuff they did. But someone was constantly begging me to write them stuff, being just outright dickish and even demanding me to write them a story. Some of the stories this year were for this person. But I didn't mention names by his request, because I believe that if someone wants to stay anonymous, then I will keep it that way.

But over time, this person started getting more demanding. Messaging me on skype, being just the most demanding and annoying person I had ever encountered. I had actually hit a point where I was severely depressed because he would pull the guilt trip card. And I was an idiot to give into that. But finally, one of my friends (who shall be mentioned later in this journal) convinced me to give this guy the boot. And once I did, I started to feel so much better. And have fully recovered from that sense, so I will be thanking that person who helped me in a little bit.

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3. I also felt a pretty big sense of loneliness. I won't be going too much into this one. I will keep it brief, but basically, I felt ignored. Which made me feel pretty bad. That's all I am going to say.

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But within all that darkness... there was light... two lights to be exact.

 dezmond-pixelwolf was the friend who convinced me to give that demanding person the hard boot. And was actually there for me during my time of loneliness. He is the most gentle were-creature I have ever encountered. He held me tight during the nights when I was crying, the days where I felt like the sun was blocked my darkness, and defended me from the creatures of the dark who continuously tried to drag me deeper into the void... Thank you Dezmond!

 wildhusker never knew about all the stuff that I was going through. I never told him about it. But his very his very presence made me smile. His silly nature made me laugh, and his smile released my heart from its dark prison. I love this hoosker floof so much. He's so god damn adorable and just really knows how to make a person smile... Thank you Pup!

There were also a few things that raised my spirits greatly. Crash Bandicoot remake came out. We got a release year for Kingdom Hearts 3, and I got to go to a pet store and get attacked by puppy kisses! lol It was great!

So even though most of my year was pretty bad, those small things and those 2 friends, kept it bright for me. And I owe them a lot for what they have done for me.

But I am going to end this here. I hope you all have a great day and a fantastic year :3

So I thought sense I am not always posting here. I would give you guys a look at what I've been doing.

So, I have a YouTube Channel. And I have a metric ton of videos that I had saved on my ps4 and just recently decided to start uploading them to my channel. So here's the link to my channel.

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> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6.....rOoHUdGSwrZ2Cg

Don't go in expecting a pro gamer at work. Because I am by no means a professional gamer lol.

What you'll find is a bunch of Kingdom Hearts boss fights, and what not. Nothing extravagant. You might also find some Paladins stuff as well, but I haven't posted any of that yet :3

So yeah if you want go ahead and check it out. If you do subscribe thank you in advance. And I hope you enjoy my crappy gameplay hehe :3

So it's been a while since I did one of these... 7 months in fact lol.

But I was writing and having a really bad case of writers block. And I decided to do this.

So I got 10 links. This time it's going to be a mixed bag, no particular genres in mind. Links to the songs, Song and Band name will also be mentioned. Maybe you'll find something you like that you don't have added to your own personal playlist :3

Also... yes I know I am weird when it comes to liking music XD

Order is going to go Band name-Song name-Youtube link


1. In This Moment- Big Bad Wolf: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-qQ_brIsfY

2. MKTO- Classic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ba_qTPA4Ds

3. The Ramones- Blitzkrieg Bop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GADVDNumOU

4. The Donnas- New Kid in School: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yXW9KTtChk

5. Killswitch Engage- Daylight Dies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAIuqn7yMXQ

6. Unsun- Whispers: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LapknbGS7Os

7. Therion- Sitra Ahra: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfy3QIJzgbc

8. Dream Theater- Panic Attack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hDs6mCVAKs

9: Man With A Mission- Raise Your Flag: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-UN6uRMBRw

10: Heart of an Artist- DaGames: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vISSxIDytI0

Bonus Mystery song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

So there you go, I hope you found something to add to your playlist :3

I have always wanted to try this. So what better time to try than now!

Ask me anything! Can be a dumb question, can be a serious question, can be a jokey question or a whatever question! Hehe

The only questions that are not allowed is anything asking for my personal info lol (That's probably obvious at this point, but just in case lol)

So GOOOOOOOO ask away!!!

Why am I doing this you might be asking... because I am bored and it's almost 3 in the morning and I can't sleep lol XD

I have been playing Paladins in my free time. And it got me asking some questions, none that have anything to do with character stories or anything, but just some random ones. And it got me thinking. What would other Paladins players answer to these questions.

So here they are with my answers. Remember you can use duplicates. It's not just one character per question.

And if you haven't played Paladins but still want to join in. Look up the character roster and pick random ones.

And if you're a hardcore Overwatch fan then.... please don't kill me? lol

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The questions are:

Which character would you be friends with? (Seris)

Which character would you trust with your life? (Inara)

Which character would you be most afraid of if you met them in person? (Drogoz)

Which character is the cutest? (Pip)

Which character would you go out on a date with? (Androxus... yes seriously lol)

Which character's weapon would you want to wield in battle? (Seris)

Which character do you main? (Seris)

which character do you like least? (Meave)

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And now to the more sexy questions, cause what kinda jex journal would this be without some sexy questions? :P

Which character would you have sex with? (Androxus... yes seriously hehe)

Which character would you torture with your gas? (Pip)

Which character would you let torture you with their gas? (Tied between Drogoz and Androxus)

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And there you have it. Go ahead and answer these yourself if you want, it's random I know, but I'm random so YYYAAAYYY!!!... plus i havent really done one of these little random things in a long time. :)

So this is kinda sad, it's sad that I need to type this out during my break at work.

But I have been getting messages asking for a request and I politely told the person that I only offer requests to close friends. And it says this right on my profile page. They don't seem to understand that so they continue to ask. And I keep telling them no. So after many times of me saying no. They finally get the hint and say "Fine! There are better writers anyways. I'll just unwatch! Goodbye!"

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So after that I decided to make this for any future watchers or anyone who is curious about my current request status.

Requests are offered to close friends ONLY .

Trades I do NOT do.

And I don't take Commissions.

I do some random contests every now and again for people to have a chance at a free story.

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I also want to say a few things real quick

1. Don't continuously ask me if I give out requests to everyone after I tell you that I don't. Just accept it and move on.

2. Threatening to unwatch me doesn't scare me. I do this as a hobby. Something I love to do in my free time and I also share it for the whole world to read. It's not like I am holding you at gun point to watch me so if you unwatch. Ok well I am gald you enjoyed my stuff while you did.

3. I don't deny that there are better writers then me. If you're gonna try and use that as an insult it isn't going to work, I am horrible at writing. But I do have my own style and it definitely isn't for everyone. So if you don't like it. That's totally fine with me. I'm not gonna deny you of your right to dislike my work. If you dont like it. Than that's that.

So yeah, sorry that I had to be a bit dickish here, but I really needed to get my point across with this. I have been dealing with this person for a few weeks now and instead of just telling them, I felt I should let everyone know.

So I hope you all enjoy your day. :3

So yeah, it's my birthday, going out for the day with friends, so yay! Hehe :3

So is anyone else excited for Crash Bandicoot N.sane Trilogy?

Despite first impression videos i've seen online. I still think it's going to be just as fun as it was back in the 90s.

Some of the videos I've seen talk about how like, when you jump it's hard to make out where you're going to land and how it doesn't feel the same as the old games.

But honestly, that's something that can be easily adjusted too. Not everything about a remake will be 100% like it's original game from back in the day simply because nothing will ever be like the original. So no matter what they do, it will not feel like 100% like the original Crash Bandicoot. It'll be just like back in the day when we played Crash for the first time. We had to learn how to do all that stuff and we had fun doing it. So who's to say we won't have lots of fun learning how make the jumps in this game. It's just another obstacle we'll have to get around while playing the game. It certainly isn't game breaking, BUT I haven't played it, so I cant really say much about that. But based on the complaints that I have heard about, they all seem like minor inconveniences at best and can be easily adjusted too.

My biggest concern out of all the things that I should be worried about... is Crate collecting in the first game. We had to collect all those crates in a level on one life, if we lost one, we had to restart the level. And you know how annoying that is, if you have played Slippery Climb, you know how hard that is! I had such a hard time with not dying on that level. And it took me a long time to actually get it on one go. I had the max amount of lives and by the time I did it I was down to like 30 some odd lives. (Then again I was like 12 when I did this lol so maybe that something to do with it.)

But that's really the only problem I hope the fix. Jumping may seem weird but I dont think it's game breaking, it's not going to utterly destroy the thoughts of Crash fans everywhere. They are just small tidbits that hardcore fans are complaining over just because they can. I am a hardcore fan and I don't think it will be a big problem. But again, I haven't been to PAX to try it for myself, so for all I know I may regret writing this and might bitch about it later lol. BUT it just seems like a small obstacle to me.

So that's all I am going to say about it. This will be a game trilogy that i am going to review once I finish them. So expect that hehe.

Are any of you looking forward to it? Any particular concerns that you have? Anything you hope they keep the same or change in the new one? Lemme know :3

Just a couple of songs that I personally love, and I thought I'd share them,

A. Because to me they deserve to be heard more :3

B. Because I love music and I love sharing music and maybe at least one of you would enjoy the music. And if not, that's fine too :3

(These have all been selected from my Celtic Music list, so if you don't like Celtic Music these songs may not be interesting to you, but if you are still curious and want to hear then please do. They are great songs to me ;3)

Song 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06H_6oI4EK4

Song 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCtUlhfMK4k

Song 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmRBZB_o8MM

Song 4: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po1Hy4BXLIo

Song 5: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Ri26PIOLs

Bit of a random journal I know, but I'm a random little jex ;)

So there was a lot of struggle to find a winner... and after 2 coffee breaks, 4 hours under a gassy butt, and 1 click on a generate button, on a generator set between the numbers 1 through 4... we have our winner!

3!!! Which was

Congratz!!!

And thank you to all who entered, hope to see you all in the next one! :3

It'll be ending Monday right at Midnight EST! So go get on and get a chance for a free story :3

Link: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8098449/