It seems as if my life is reaching a critical breaking point.
Illogical thoughts float through my mind, and as i type I am sitting here, confused as to what life truly is.

My friend passed away, leaving us behind with nowhere to go but utter despair and grief. We all tried to hang out together to lessen the pain, but that only reminded us of how our group was one short, so we went our separate ways to grieve.

I sit alone in this cold place, no one to comfort me, and no one to remind me that love is still relevant in this earth. It seems as if sorrow is the only gentleman to keep me awake at night. With his best friend loneliness. I stare at my phone, pretending that the people I talk to wish to speak back, but everyone is busy. Everyone is grieving.

Perhaps it was time we all got back together, and speak of what happened, to lighten the mood. Everyone agreed.

Everyone but our other dear friend. He answered no calls and no texts, no knocks on his door. We finally called his parents. They found him drugged up and drunk, laying in his own vomit.

They said they could save him at the hospital, they said they could bring him back.


Let's hope they are right.


I have nowhere to turn. I have nowhere to go.

My heart is failing me, my eyes are splitting. I bite my lips and grind my teeth, and I pretend that it's okay. But I know it's not.

Perhaps if I write it all out like a story, I can dissect it, and digest it. That's what I thought. I hope its true.

Only doubts can carry a conversation on longer than you would wish for.

And only doubts can convince you of the most foolish of things. A man to live alone for even an hour, can lie himself straight to destruction, spew out words that lead to death, and vomit out bile that he calls logic.

Only 600 more to go

Thank you everyone.

I am almost ready to post the images i did for others.

Sadly I have grown such impatience for patience, and am learning to deal with it.

Before i do adoptables, I wish to go into random watchers pages and draw a character of theirs.

I will be doing this starting tonight.

I have been pondering on doing cheap adoptables, a good and dear friend does them and I wish too to partake. I will upload sample soon.

I sat there, staring at the window, not so much out of it, but just directly at it. My fingers pressed against my lips, nails sliding into the crack between my upper and lower teeth. I cant say how long and I'm not sure I'd want to know how long, I had them there. My once long full nails, were now a torn tattered bloody mess.

Perhaps if I prayed.

The glass reflection of myself seemed to hold a deeper knowledge of what was going on. Wisdom seemed to fill his eyes, but not mine. I knew they weren't mine. They held joy and compassion. Mine held apathy and loathing.

Hmmm, i cant watch myself.

The humor and ego boost is gone.

I am not here to please.