Thank you everyone who has watched me, 250+ of you.

About six years ago, if you had asked me if I was a furry, cold sweat would’ve broken out. My throat would’ve clenched, and I’d have deflected. Even coming out as bisexual was hard-but furry? That was something else. Loathing, cringe, clenching, disgust, fear. Scary stuff. And yet, underneath all of it, there was always a yearning. A need to belong. To dive deeper. To contribute.

When I asked others, I found the story was the same: alt accounts, dual identities, incognito mode, excuses. Shame and longing living side by side.

So lets take a different route: Recently I attended Sydney’s Aurawacon (furry con), and I was floored by the sheer amount of talent. Everywhere I turned, someone had a skill they’d honed to perfection. See a plush? They’d sewn it themselves. A fursuit? Built in their teens. Stickers? Overflowing and brilliant. Every corner revealed people who had poured themselves fully into creating. The more they embraced the cringe and the fear-the more they owned themselves-the more their talent shone. Its simple.

Cringe is the way forward.

When we walked down the street together and someone called them “freaks,” they just shot back, “I get more pussy than you.” And I believed them, haha.

I realized then how much of an idiot I’d been to delay this part of myself. But also, how much I’d gained. I feel motivated in a way I never have before. To learn, to grind, to give my all. It’s like I’m finally expressing myself with the full weight of who I am. The parts of me aren’t fighting anymore-they’re syncing. And because of that, drawing feels easier, faster. Instead of battling the brush, it’s working with me.

So-thank you for 250 watchers. It really means the world being able to see that.

What would you like to see more of? What have you enjoyed the most?

What a year. 2024 was pretty good to me. Heres some of the goals I achieved.
- Got funding to produce one of my dreams games project (which I will announce once I get the steam page sorted). Which gave me so much validation that my big projects matter.
- Made alot of art and got my art style to a place where I’m happy which took about 2 years deliberate intense study.
- Got a job as well part time which respects my unique skills (partly why I havent been posting as much) so good to be working on both my own game and getting paid to work on another project.
- Saw alot of the same faces faving and supporting my art (I do notice lol)
- Able to support the people I care for financially now and fund their lifestyles so they can relax.
- Got alot of commissions and worked with some cool projects.
- Went to the neopets 25th anniversary meetup which was so surreal meeting so many neopians lol.
- Went to a ton of national parks
- Drew / coded so much that I gave myself nerve damage lol (had to take 4 weeks off)
- Got into photography. (got a Sony Camera zv e10)
- End game’d my dream computer / drawing tablet setup (Finally got a waccom screenless + surface pro)

When things go well for me I kind of shut down due to not expecting things to go well, but hey gotta sit in the feeling, things are getting better for me. My goals for the new year are to eventually post my game here to show you guys eventually which will fully cement my identity as an outward expressing furry both privately and professionally, and to become a popufur which I'm not looking forward to as much but I do like the idea of being able to do more cool projects with that.

Hello, I thought I'd do a milestone update because I just hit 100 watchers.

Thankyou everyone,

I've been building a skeletal animation system lately for my future games I'm making, and I've shared some of the drafts with friends. The systems designed to quickly swap assets of body parts easily in and out so that you can recycle the same run animation or dance animation across multiple assets so it makes great for scaling content in games. I'm excited for it because it's the first time I've really felt determined for great character driven content. Its been a long journey and I've met so many beautiful people who have helped or given advice on their processes for creating various fursonas or character designs and I feel like I've really embodied that. So finally giving myself the space to absorb that and express that on a large scale is something I'm quite excited about.

I've felt a sense of uneasiness with human designs, or a general aversion to the human body. Limbs are too long or chest too narrow, something doesn't feel quite right. I can put on the nice clothes, or have a great haircut- even dye my hair. But it feels subpar for me compared to a great character design. There's a whole section psycho-analytical component dedicated to why I may be that way, and I think for you as well if you are on a platform like this. What made you feel odd to be human? I don't even want to hear your response haha, it might be too deep a response. But the point is I'm trying to express that if you keep watching me I'm going to show you something great and unique one day that everyone I've met these last few years and encouraged me or taught me is going to come out in a very interesting way.

I hope too when its ready you'll be able to use the tools I made to join me on this and bring your characters to life in a game. That too is one of the areas I'm looking forward to. Having a system of compatible parts means that even if you cannot animate- you can use other peoples animations to animate your own assets and that brings me joy seeing a hundred people working together to bring their characters bigger then what they could do alone.

Do you feel inadequate drawing plants? Insects? I did, and it took me a while to understand the reason why. I have interviewed Beatrix Potter in order to help us understand why she is so good at drawing plants.

Beatrix Potter didn’t draw plants, insects, animals the way “normies” did. She did it in a way that a scientist would. She would own a rabbit, study the way it moves and teach it tricks. Then when it died she would boil its bones and taxidermy the rabbit. The whole time doing this, she would be sketching the bunny doing a variety of actions, from grooming its ear from an itch. To protest and stomp its feet when it gets mad. She would develop a strong emotional bond that rises from birth to death. She would know the rabbit inside and out, having a strong emotional attachment to the rabbit.

But compared to me, I’d find a stock photo and sketch it. I would get bored and disenfranchised. The reason why? I have no love for rabbits, I have no know or felt the strong emotions associated with rabbits nor have I even processed the death of my beloved pet. And you can see that in my works. What a profound comparison, and you can see it in how our works compare.

So how do we who want to draw better do with this information? Well I believe that we always strive to improve technique. Aeso with his line weight, Flygon with the pallet we from sega games. But what about improving and cultivating a deep love and attachment towards the subject matter that we are trying to depict. Consuming media, reading fanfiction, doing roleplays, sharing, gifting to friends and going to conventions and lectures.

Going further, my fave artists seem to go the extra mile, knowing details such as what paper they would use, what is behind the scenes, who were they inspired and why? What worldview did they have and what were the times?

In the name of Beatrix Potter I realised It was not enough to just copy stock footage or understand just what a bunny looks like. To understand the bunny means a deep love and cultivation of bunny and I hope that gives a spirit for you to follow.

I am curious what your thoughts are and if you have ever experienced something like this before?

Hey everyone, since I've been getting many more requests for commissions I thought I'd start a more formal approach to receive peoples interest in commissioning me. Plus gives a guide on how much I'd roughly charge.

https://forms.gle/9PwzeVtvGezsuyfd6