Happy new year! Happy cold freezing temperatures! Well who am I kidding, anything below 70 degrees is killer for me. Not a cold person, but for this year a (nasty) peppy optimist! Yes, I will put on a happy mask 24-7 and be the genki girl I truly believe I can be! But to be fair, I am like that most of the time but for others sake then myself. Odd, having more faith in this cruel world shaped by humanity then oneself... It has to be me trying to fight off this cold weather. Or maybe I am sick? Yes, the new year resolution bug must be going around so take nothing I say seriously. Like, seriously!

But happy new year regardless.

Free me from this burden, for it intoxicates me!
The flowing time that brings death... blah blah don't give a damn.

But I feel unlucky today, and maybe for a while now. Foreboding at best, like something is over my shoulders.
Not only that, I am on a losing streak in League of legends. Talk about Plat for nothing. Well, I am happy
that I got there it's just. I want to climb a bit and get out of Plat 5. Just wins here loses there back and forth. It's going
to give me my 50% win rate again down from my high 60. Maybe 55% which isn't bad. I just hope it doesn't go below negative.

I remember seeing this around, seems like fun.

Favorite Pokemon in Battle: To many to limit~
Favorite Pokemon in Design: Eevee
Favorite Held Item: Quick Claw/Leftovers
Favorite Pokemon Type: Water, Grass
Favorite Move: Fly
Favorite. Legendary: Arcanine
Favorite Mythical:Mew
Favorite Region: Johto
Favorite Generation: 2
Favorite Starter: Squirtle

There has been a annoyance going around the internet knows as the "stupid color changing dress." Well, that is what I call it, no one is shutting up about it. It's on the news, every other feed, and I am so bored right now that it's haunting me. I am over reacting, I don't care but the way it changes colors makes me feel crazier then usual.

Well, got some fresh banana bread from a friend of my grandmothers. I usually hate the stuff, but it being fresh and all makes it supper tasty. It's still dry, but maybe I will add vanilla ice cream to my next piece.

Not doing homework is the best. I should really get back into action though...

Well whatever, life's been great. This season's anime seems good, but I am so into Assassination classroom along with ShiroKuma Cafe, they're so funny. I also have been reading Boku no Hero as well. I finished a few other series, like Witch craft works while keeping up with Log horizon.
Can't wait for Little witch Academy in may, the first ova was just to too good.

I should really work on them, but I hate doing homework... I really hate finals, but I do hate math more.

Any who, I should start drawing some more and actually post something.

Ugly or not, practice means improving. Nothing starts easy, not even your first steps. If you want anything, be it experience, friendship, or anything important, take a step. A new journey is right around the corner, and unlocking it is your future. Work hard, and you can shape it to what you want. Work harder then that, and you should have no regrets.

... Like I care, I should still be working on my final paper now as I type. (Maniacal Laughter and Sobs!)

Looking at all the bad outlooks in life makes me feel empty, but only when I am empty and sad I can look at the good things and be filled with joy! To bad that doesn't last because somethings out me back into that sad mood. But Anime is a good fixer upper. I am currently watching a good one that makes me feel happy!

Gugure Kokkuri-san is that anime. It's soo cute and it was something I was waiting for when the list of fall anime came out. It was scary how I could relate a bit to the main character and her outlook in life. I tend to fall into that relation when I am alone and it is scary. Also, the legend of Kora, regardless of not being a anime, is so good that is might as well be on that standing.

Why does all these things have to exist when I need to do homework and study!

It's lame not having time to ones self. It's even more of a shame procrastinating and complaining about accumulated stress. Regardless, I got a new game recently. Paper Mario for the DS, it's super fun so far. I love the sticker based economy.

I really want to get back to playing Pokemon. Looks like "Showdown" will have my return! Hopefully League doesn't take my attention away from homework after a little more goofing off.

I probably should be working now, I got a big quiz soon... Study soon!

School
equals
No freedom!

I have a new lab top! Huzzah, all is right in the world! But that aside, 3 weeks of having no personal computer really went by fast. Thanks to friendship, I was able to use my friends one ever so often and not die of lack of wifi. I also took the liberty to play some 3ds and (my uncles) I pad to sub my time.

I am really becoming a Neet and I hate it. Even though trying to do something that is meaning full causes me to have a panic attack... how I have fallen. At least I still go to the library and immerse myself in books (Manga) and stuff. But the walk in this summer time heat is worth it.

Next up, is finishing what needs to be done, draw some more and post something, and excessive. Watching anime and playing mmorpgs can wait... BUT most importantly, fixing my sleep cycle comes first. My night sparrow hours (2pm-4am) must stop.

To my dear friend who stuck with me all threw high school. My Acer aspire 1800(something) laptop who was my first personal computer. With his first hard drive death and after having it replaced it was never the same. His last few days were horrible, he slowly died and had to be factory reset multiple times just to function. He tried to commit suicide by killing his power source (charger) but a spare killed that plan. He just couldn't handle it anymore and with that his (new 8 month old) hard drive died.

I can't stand to see him suffer any longer. He is old and must be put down, his battery was going and he over heats constantly. Thank you for your hard work and rest in peace. Pieces I mean, he is a organ doner and his useable parts will be used to save others. He would have wanted it.

Getting a new one later, time to upgrade for (online gaming) School!

Fluffy things are cute, but to much fluff is a turn of for me. But on a weird note, rereading old journal entries makes you think what the heck you were thinking! I mean, reading old ones later in life makes you either nostalgic or annoyed that you wrote something that makes no sense to yourself in the present. I wonder if clouds are fluffy or wet? They probably are wet, and only fluffy and ride able if magic is involved.

The moon is stained crimson... I hope this happens again.

Ice cream is good, chocolate is the best... but vanilla has that charm to taste wonderful by itself and with anything you pair it with. But strawberry can go melt for all I care, sherbert is a vastly superior fruity type of ice cream. I like to eat ice cream when it is cold, that way you appreciate it more for the flavor then it's frosty touch. I also love how it chills my body as I attempts to warm up making such a contrast of well actions of warm and cold...

Time is something best looked back on, yet constantly looking distorts you view. I can't even get my mind to move forward, for it continues look back. Nothing is there, it is dead. I hate this aging thing, it seems I forget the important things and remember only trivial aspects of that life.

I feel rather cleaver, living on webs of lies and self amusement. Not even using the word clever, I just laugh at my dull wit that the internet is killing. Knowing I can go on, and be nothing more then what I am, but staying in this dream of the present... it is getting on my nerves. At this point in time, I am just watching how this me is running the show, how did I lose so much control, what happened to my will to strive. Laziness plays a factor and what I would give for a care bear stare to the face and a wad of 1000 dollar bills. I regret not living up to the goody goody standard most people have of me, and laugh inside that I was able to put up a farce like that in the first place. Maybe because I can hold my words well and spout things with hidden or no meanings people just disregard what I say and laugh it off.

Nothing's getting done at all. As amazing being a lazy sloth is I am tired of it. College was a bust thanks to a lack of funds now I need a job. With cash I can improve myself threw school and train my mind and worst... my body. I hate to think of me wasting time exercising. Taboo for me but it is a must. My body has become unhealthy(ish) at my 100 something, underweight-ness. Yeah I can still thank my great metabolism and over eating training that I can forever be skinny. But it isn't a healthy skinny, I need more vegi's and body movement to get how my body should be. I want to be ready for a Zombie Apocalypse or coseplaying at our local conventions. That and I need to blow of some steam. Rage is strong in me and games make it worst, which is recent. Mmo's are the worst for anger management. Anime though, brings the best out of me. Maybe add more of that in my diet...but for now there is some Ice cream still in the fridge.(2 am snacking 4tw)

There is not enough time, not enough moments were we can think of the solution. Not enough minutes to waste one the important, always sidetracked in the present. Things wanted to be done, but lazy and under equipped to get them finished. Taking time to practice yet quitting because embarrassed about the mixed results. How fickle am I to become lost within my own head. I need a map, a light, a compass to my own heart,mind or otherwise life...how embarrassing to lose yourself to your own self. Will I ever lose what wants to be list and not what is leaving me weak and vulnerable. I can only ask myself that and search myself for what I dearly miss. My love for my future to come, dreams to come true, magical powers to acquire, power to live and protect, and a generous flow of high income. There is just not enough time anymore, especially when you think cutting sleep from the equation is a good idea. Sleepless nights can only go on for so long before you start to think concrete starts to feel like feathers and you wake up at twelve am living the night sparrow hours deprived of good tv...

Here we are one again, moon less sky, with mans light blocking the art that fills the sky... Its vast nebula of endless space, running from any grasp that reach out to it, yet ending within the grasp of one greater. With endless space and endless possibilities, why do I feal trapped by gravity and the world when I constantly escape from it in my dreams. Maybe on can grow weary of themselves and that is my now, but being content means excepting this fealing. I deny it, so later I will work and let gravity hold me down as I hold high and change for a little while. Maybe some smacks against the unsuspecting will liven up the place. But for now, I'll strain my eyes to look at the star less sky, remembering what is hidden beyond the light.

With the twilight hour approaching,I continue to feel the time of the now sliping from me no matter how much stronger and wiser I get. With the sun now directly opposite of me, I feal darkness bearing around at its full force with clouds blocking out all natural light with man made light being alone to bear it back. I still have much work to do, I would curse it if only to feel better, but these thing are of the few that are immune, for it will burden me in the end if I even succeed, my reasons being procrastination. It is what I did which caused it to be this most horrid fate. But I still can befall misfortune on these insects who test my patience with death most fair. One of quick haste with thine slipper, with accuracy and petty. vengeance.