so who here plays a lot of Xbox?
you should add me my gamer tag is x7Sevin7x

there was a time when i had every thing figured out in life. I knew where i was going and i thought for sure that i would be able to make the right decisions to get there. But life has a funny way of proving your certainties wrong. it there is one thing that i have learned in the last year it is that life has a will of it's own and no matter how hard you try to change something, life will always do what it intended to do. you may change the path and be active members of this goal but in the long run there is always the outcome that had to be. So why do we do it? Why do we fight this futile fight to change the course of history, if it is already written? Is it because in some way we think we can ensure that what has been written is good and therefore the ultimate goal is a positive one? Or is it because in all our hopelessness in this grand tapestry that we are simply striving to be the brightest thread. To stick out in the design above the others? To be able to look back one day and say "you see that beautiful life's work? that is me"? Or do we simple ants running around just trying to get by in our meager day by day routine just not pay enough attention to the facts? I ask you this because I have for the first time in my life made turns that i question. For the first time in my life i have things that i fear i regret. And that is not what i wanted from my life. I always said that all things happen for a reason so there can be no regret, because things will work out in the end. But here I stand on this journey i have chosen, with things in my past that though they may have not hurt me directly and have caused the ultimate goal any change. I find that these decisions hurt those i care about instead. A crime that falls against every creed i hold myself to. I am the sort of man who lives his life to be the matter. I would sooner take my own life than suffer those i care for any misfortune, harm, or discomfort. But as i continue on my journey in life i find that despite my efforts and some times even because of them. I have left a trail of all these things behind me. So how do i justify this? What sort of ultimate good can come of these things? Am I supposed to hold faith that this was just another good thing for the future in disguise as well? Who am I to decide that? Where do I draw the line? I used to think of myself as the unofficial shrink of the world. that people in hard times would often just find there way to me. and i would be able to talk them through it and help them through. But where did I go wrong that I instead hurt some of those people i cared about the most? Where do you draw the line between helping and hurting? When do you know to stop being the friend that you are and let people go? I seem to have a problem letting people go. You see I'm one of those people who remembers every thing, and every one. I could given the time to recall on some of them remember the first words i said to some one 5 years ago. and i remember ever friend I've ever had. but i sometimes wonder, If they have forgotten me? then again i already know the answer is yes. They didn't need me in there lives any more and moved on. But I, I always remember. I will always be there when there down, and I always care about how your feeling. I'm the kind of guy that will not hear or see from you for years on end and suddenly be worried about how your doing and wondering if every thing is alright when you say just "ok" I have a compassion for the people in my life that is far to often not returned. But i don't care. I still do it. but i have to ask myself now at this point in my journey. Did i really help any one? what happened to me, that i went from being some one that any one could confide in to becoming some one who its awkward to even admit your feelings to? Can it be? That i actually have regrets?

I'm sorry

~ Sevin

"You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough."
no offense, but ... There are some people who are getting too fake on FA. They only want posts, comments, or to see how many friends they can get. So let's see who will actually re-post this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and re-post in your own bulletin. Lets see who the true friends are and I think I know who you are... Re-post this if you are a friend...Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Friends'True friends will read and repost this. Fake friends will just ignore it Fighting for all that is right!!!

Done for  Mercifur

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Commissions are now open message me for details

Hey guys This last con sorta Screwed me over. the Hotel overcharged me for the room and put me in the hole. now i have no money to pay for gas or any thing and I'm actually in debt, so I'm opening commissions take a look at my gallery i can do a lot more than just canids but they are my specialty. starting price for a commission will probably be around $15

Please guys I'm practically begging for some help here T_T

ok guys I'm feeling that my journal needs a update, so here goes.
I got discharged from the army. I'm back in the real world. got just enough money saved up to buy a car and start rent on a apartment or something. i was trying to have enough saved to be able to commission a fursuit off of some one but recent developments in life, namely. getting started is a lot more costly than i anticipated @_@; has resulted in my decision to just hold off on that till i can actually afford it...

but yeah fursuit is definitely right at the top of my wish list

but my need list is kinda taking priority atm so at least for now the order ops is going to be:

car
job
house
fursuit

hey every one just a update on how every thing is going here in Ft Leonardwood MO.

i got broken here at basic training and my training has been delayed. the only reason im on the computer right now is because my company just graduated and im on pass.

being injured for so long i’ve had a lot of time to think though and I’ve come to the conclusion that the army just might not be for me.

I’ve lived all my life in the closet and now as a adult I’ve placed myself in yet another position where im winding up having to lie about who i am to reak the benifts, and thats just something i cant do any more. So i’ve decided that im going to try and make my way out of the military through a artical 15 discharge, a general discharge for dont ask dont tell. basicly its a general discharge that wont screw me over for goverment jobs or goverment funding, it will just put a stamp on my record that says this person was discharged in basic training for being a homosexual. that could bode good or bad for me in the future as for getting jobs. but the way i see my life going i doubt i will have to worry about getting a job where I’d have to worry about that. I’m a artist, thats what i should have been pursuing from the start. So thats what i plan on pursuing now.

So thats whats going on in my life right now. just wanted to give you guys a update.


I’m still a little iffy about this decision though so things still may change. but at verry least it will still be a good long while before im going to be able to be back on again, and my return will be a little delayed. but if i pursue this discharge i could wind up being home verry soon, lol and looking for a job.

I’ma be on pass for a bit more today and should be able to keep my phone on me for most of my time here as a holdover, so please comment on this. i miss talking to my furry peers and would love to here your opinions all of this and just straight up here from some of you period.

you can message me on here and hope i get it or try and catch me online on my msn sevinwolf[at]hotmail.com

Well I'm off to serve my country tomorrow and start my basic training. just want to say I'll miss all of you and I'll return to the world of furries as soon as i can. maybe I'll be able to purchase a fursuit commission with some of my army money :P

best of wishes to all of you. and I'll see you again when i return.

~Your crazy friend~
-Sevin

I've been interested in trying to get a graphics tablet ever since i saw some one using one at Furry Fiesta,

but i cant figure out exactly what it is called that im trying to get my paws on

the one i saw was a notebook sized portable Touchscreen graphics pad on a LCD monitor of sorts,

I'm really looking for something like that

but every thing i find is either USB and or doesn't have a visual screen

any one know of a good Hand-Held LCD Graphics tablets?

the counter is bumping up on my pageviews, finally.

so its finally that time.

first person to send me a screen shot of the counter on 1000 on my page

after its hit 1000 wins a commission by yours truly

every day i strive to keep up a good character and a forgiving and pious resolve in all matters of life... and yet in one way or another every day i see one of my comrades fall in one way or another... am i loosing this fight? why do the good have to fall?

A friend of mine who i held in the utmost regard and loved with all of my heart not all that long ago showed just how unforgiving and cold he is... not to me but to some one else... but still i saw some one who in my mind was just like me in every way turn around and say the opposite of what i would...

another friend of mine who so innocent and caring for the people he loves he finally fell prey to the bottle and now drinks away his every pain slowly destroying his life...

yet another friend of mine who's life was any thing but void of sin but yet he was a good person... his heart was pure and all he ever wanted was to be happy and have fun fell to drugs and is now chain smoking like a freight train every day before class...

another friend who swore to me that she would be in the fandom for ever and loved this fandom and the people in it more than any thing... and yet she has begun to have her doubts and will probably soon leave the fandom...

a very old friend of mine who was the first person i even tried to make a relationship outside of family with, who's life i had saved many a time, now wont even speak to me and from what I've learned has committed more disgusting and evil things than i ever thought possible of some one i fought so persistently for...

What is happening to the world... what is happening to all these people... there has to be a reason that these people have fallen from grace... why must the good always fall in the end... why is it so hard for people to forgive? why is it so hard to move on? why is it impossible to forget? What scares me the most is am i going to be the only one left... and if not... when is it my turn to fall?

I find it impossible to think i could fail... in my devotion to what ever it is that defines a good life and a good person... but modesty dictates that i admit the possibility of it. But either way the wind blows there outcomes still scare me... I do not want to watch the world fall down no more than i want to fall myself... and look what good me trying to help has done... when so many of the people i have helped have failed still and so many of those who were so strong that they needed no help...

So tell me. Am i loosing this battle? is it really the fate of all humanity to fall from grace? can you help me save it?

My friend  Tidalwolf is raffling off a flash commission by  shinokorosha and a picture commission by  tarako

for $10 a ticket

he needs the money so that he can go to California it would mean a world to him and thus to me by association if you could help him get to California and meet up with his BFF  tarako

information here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/647865/

Ok guys I'm making a declaration i vow that before i have to leave you all this coming July 8th i am going to do every thing in my power to create and post a picture so epic and spectacular that it will steak out a place for me Among the Furry Art community Amongst greats like Blotch and Zaush. i promise you one last epic painting that will hold me over in the fandom until my final triumphant return!

this is my new goal and by god I'm going to make it!

i really don't believe in that stuff but i find it interesting that every time i used my freinds cards to do mine i got a bright future :P

and the past and present were scary accurate to @_@

well guys i have to say FA failed the test... apparently Sex really dose sell i posted a mature natured picture against my nature as a personal experiment to see just how porn addicted FA is... i was actually not surprised when i received a shockingly large increase in views and favs since posting that picture... but it is still a little disappointing that the countless other paintings i have done that by almost all standards were twice as good as that little sketch received half the attention. however the picture will remain mainly because its still a decent sketch and sadly its helping my exposure

i would like to take this opportunity to give props to people like  Tarakoand  SpiritCreations who manage to keep a clean art style and keep a well known status

just click its all you got to do to help the little guy out! quick he only got 7 days
http://dragcave.net/viewdragon/bKyf