boogy oogy woogy, imma get that booty

Working at my new job has been good so far. Some people there have noted how it's a bit strange for me to go from banking to food/hospitality, but I like the change! Sure, I'm on the register all day and then spend the last hour cleaning up the front of house, but I can go at my own pace and not have to worry about doing extra bullshit. In fact, it made me realize how much of a joke banking is and what I like about this job so far:

*No more pressure on needing to cross sell.
*No more having to worry about meeting your metrics/goals so that your performance review doesn't suffer.
*No more doing shit that the managers should be doing themselves.
*No more worrying myself over whether or not my cash box will be short or over.
*No more having to hold the vault cash, thus adding pressure on differences.
*No more stupid meetings or goals that everyone has to follow.
*No more dealing with stupid shit the customers will yell at you for like fees or unknown charges.


It's a breath of fresh air.

That bun needs a lot more flab ;3

Got my first paycheck the other day and it was a little small, which is to be expected since my training days had me at odd hours. The check also includes tips the store makes, so that means I'll have to start keeping track of them when it comes to taxes. In not so great news, my combined credit card bills is easily over $4000 and I need every bit of help I can get cause it will take me quite a while to pay them down! If you wanna throw a few bucks my way, I got a ko-fi set up here:

https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar


Being on your feet is no fun and me being a big guy does not help matters. My feet are screaming by the end of the night and are still a little sore by the next morning. What sucks more is I been having 5 days of work in a row so my feet aren't getting the proper rest they need. Luckily, I gotten myself an automatic foot massager off Amazon for over 60% off! Tried it today and man it's intense but I think it will help when I come home later tonight.

If anyone has it, you can follow me here:
https://bsky.app/profile/ferialexonar.bsky.social

I been working in Shack Shake for a few days now and it's....kinda both easy and...not easy? I'm a cashier so all I have to do is take whatever orders the customers come to me for. That is easy in a sense, but then there's other factors to consider! Customers will want to customize their orders, so there's like a million buttons on stuff you can add on or remove, and buttons that lead to other categories. Then you have to check ID if a customer orders an alcoholic drink, which is a huuuuge deal no matter what field you work in within the U.S. And there's also a section on the register for allergies! Some of our items can be made with allergens in mind and I have to know the big eight (or was it nine?) allergies AND what allergies our items may have. Luckily there is an option to print what allergens each item has, but I'm still trying to learn!


I also see the people in the kitchen have their own system to worry about and they move like a well oiled machine. There's even separate people just to do the custards and shakes!


And the standing for hours. Hoo boy. I hadn't done something like that in years. The first day or two my feet were killing me. I think they are getting a bit used to the routine now, but I bought myself insoles to help me stand with less pain and also wearing compression socks.


Gonna have to get used to everything!

Not just any furry muscle artist, ones that can make them look a little thick and have big pecs. Something like this:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/ewpqppcyykdsoeydjwbfy/D5ceSt1VUAApL4B.jpg?rlkey=1cksf01m43osx5ay4nz8nzhob&dl=0

And the legs and torso like this:
https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/ewpqppcyykdsoeydjwbfy/D5ceSt1VUAApL4B.jpg?rlkey=1cksf01m43osx5ay4nz8nzhob&dl=0


I wanna have a Pokemon OC with that kind of body. I dunno who to look for.

https://twitter.com/NintendoAmerica.....24002982314108


I am sooooooo sad! He was basically my childhood! But the guy isn't getting younger so I guess now is a good time for him to step back and let someone else take the mantle.

About damn time. I'm gonna be a cashier (and probably other things) at my local Shake Shack (think fast food, but better quality and more expensive and not big like McDonald's). Pay rate is a little less than my last job, but I'm sure I can manage. Orientation is tomorrow so I will be quite busy!

Welp, the other job rejected me, but am I really surprised anymore? I could still use the help while I search. Again.


https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar

So, with one job offer rejected and another one still in pending, I still need some help with the bills.

https://scarlet-lyssa-24.tiiny.site Commission info here

https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar Here if you want to donate a few buck

I got bills coming up and I need some money to stave it off. Please. Commissions or donations, every bit helps me!

https://scarlet-lyssa-24.tiiny.site Commissions here
https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar Here if you want to donate a few bucks.

No idea what brought this on, but I dreamt in my sleep that my balls grew larger. Not like tanuki sized, but a size up. For a comparison, imagine the balls were the size of baseballs and they suddenly grew double that size, like two baseballs. That's what it looked like. And because they were quite big, had to spread out my legs to let them freely hang. Then someone came by and fondled them, cause who wouldn't want to grab someone's nuts at that size?


Needless to say, had to take care of "business" after I woke up x3

I gotten two interviews today, so I am hoping and praying I get something cause I am just tired of this situation.

If you wanna support me with commissions, you can find info here:
https://t.co/SlvwIYYncr

If you wanna support me through ko-fi instead, look here:
https://t.co/NKmfoLFfwj

They are coming and I need help again. I hate having to keep asking for help, but I don't got any choice. If you can, you can donate here:

https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar

I feel...numb, if I'm being honest. We all knew this was coming; the dog was sick and had a really hard time going up and down the stairs. She was clearly in pain, but my stepdad didn't want to put her down right away cause he couldn't bear seeing her off so soon. I don't blame him, but my mom was right; he just prolonged her suffering. Today, she was whimpering in my stepdad's room. He took a look at her and decided today was her time and couldn't let her suffer any longer. Some of you already know how my family had two other dogs prior (all three were together) and how they also grew old and sick before needing to be put down.


I cried my eyes out for the first two dogs that had to be put down years ago. The remaining dog? I did shed a tear or two, but I couldn't cry. Between having lost the other dogs already and my struggles with job hunting and money, I didn't have the energy to feel anything. I feel numb. I feel like I done nothing but suffer my whole life between the loss of my dad, the death of my relatives, the bullying I endured in school that made me suicidal, the bullshit I dealt with from the public/customers, and then watching three animals getting an illness we can't help them with makes me feel like my life is a joke and I am the only one that isn't laughing.


Well, whatever at this point. If you all still wanna donate money to me or commission me, that's fine. If not, that's fine too. I just don't really feel anything anymore.

No, not the comments on FA, just comments in general across the web. Over the years, I have noticed how some people act in such a way that they look more like a character from a cartoon or some other show rather than an actual person. This is usually their way of trolling. Some even keep it up for years, living up to this "character" they created that makes engaging with them pointless; you're not speaking to a person. Rather, you're speaking to a person who created an exaggeration of themselves as a cheap form of entertainment. It makes conversation in general pointless because the person on the other side is playing as a clown instead of being themselves.


Just a rant.

And I hate it. I don't mind TFs, but I never found Mario himself sexy and even though he can TF into an elephant now, it still feels weird for me to be attracted to his elephant form knowing it's still the human Mario beneath it. And because of course everyone and their dog is gonna be drawing all this elephant Mario pic and R34 versions, I can't do anything to hide it from my feeds other than not using FA or Twitter for several months.


Not to mention elephants aren't my thing anyway.

Eh, I'm still in the same boat; no job, no money, no nothing. I pretty much don't know what else to do or say on the matter other than donate to my ko-fi if you can help out. I have been applying to jobs but obviously nothing has come of it yet.


ko-fi.com/ferialexonar

I hate what I have become. Every game I play, I suck and struggle through everything while everyone else can pick up and master it like it was nothing. I pretty much have no money left and got credit card bills approaching $3000. I still can't get a job and might as well stop looking because it's obvious no one wants to hire me. I'm worthless, I can't accomplish jack shit. My brother and sister are more successful and were able to move out on their own. Me? I can't do anything on my own and I have to resort to begging for help, which no one has. I beg, pleaded, prayed to whatever gods are out there and for what? To still have no job after 5 months? To see people only throwing money at the more popular artists whenever they are in trouble themselves?


I wish I was just dead already. I'm nothing but a fat worthless burden to everyone. A burden that can't even accomplish the simplest things in life or in gaming. I am 37 years old and have nothing to show for it. I find myself repulsive and loathsome. How could I be friends with anyone like this? Whatever I did in my past, maybe me suffering now is payment for it. Virtual hugs isn't gonna cut it. Telling me "things will get better" is completely insincere. I just can't do it anymore. I don't know how you all can do it. Because I can't.


I give up.

It's that time again, still no luck on the job hunt. I got bills coming and need a few bucks to stave them off.


If you wanna commission me, I got updated and lowered prices here:
https://t.co/SlvwIYYncr

If you wanna donate instead, I got this link here:
https://t.co/NKmfoLFfwj


I hate having to be begging like this, but I really have no other choice....

You can see the updated sheet here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing

Lowered everything, some up to $5 lower. Can't really go much lower but we'll see how it goes. If you wanna donate through ko-fi instead, you can do it here:

https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar

I don't think anyone will look into or give much, but if you wanna help me out a bit as I still job hunt, you can donate to my ko-fi. Every little bit helps.

https://ko-fi.com/ferialexonar

Still need money, no job offer has come through. If you wanna commission me to help me out, my info is here:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing

Likewise if you wanna just a few bucks my way, you can DM me.


*sigh* I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

I'm so fucking done with this shit. Nearly 5 months since I lost my job and I still can't get anything. Applications denied. Ghosted. Interviewed and denied later. I'm nearly out of money and bills are piling up. I even prayed to whatever gods are out there just for a little push to help me along. Nothing. I'm fucking done. I'll just go homeless and eventually die cause that's just my lot in life. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything. I'm done.