This has been bugging me for a long time and I need to vent about it. Ever since I was a kid, I was raised to be a proper adult when I grew up, meaning but not limited to:

* Writing with proper spelling and grammar.
* Being on time.
* Fulfill your responsibilities.
* Clean up after yourself.
* Be kind to others.
* Help around the house.
* Fill out forms properly.
* Be responsible with your money.
* Ect etc etc....



As a now near middle age adult, I think everything I was taught was a bunch of bullshit. You already know my beef I have with my stepdad. In short, he won't replace the garbage bags in the bins and will leave trash around because it's "not his job" and he'll leave a cup or two in the sink overnight whereas he used to give me grief for it if I did the same thing. Gives us shit for leaving the lights on, but it's ok when he does it. Blah blah blah, this is just a small sample and this journal is not about him. What this journal IS about are the so called adults (or Boomers for the most part) that don't practice what they preach. Everyday, I see these older adults never filling out stuff properly at my bank job and them getting mad when you have them fill out a new form. Ask for ID? They'll clutch their pearls as if you asked them to sacrifice their first born child. Driving? They'll break whatever rules of the road that exist cause fuck you, they got places to be! Scammed by that Nigerian prince? They'll insist that it's not a scam.


Continuing this further, we were always chided for throwing a tantrum if we didn't get what we wanted as kids. Nowadays, you see grown ass men and women stabbing people or shooting the place up because the McDonald's ran out of nuggets or running to corporate to bitch about an employee that's following the rules. We got these grown ass people causing a scene when they make a commotion over their finances when they are the ones being irresponsible with their money. We got mother fucking adults who would rather piss and moan and be petty and not use the words instead of being a GOD DAMN ADULT and communicating their feelings!



And people wonder why I am so disillusioned with everything.

Gotta love it when you want to fav something and you're suddenly told you can't cause the artist blocked you.


Funny this happened from someone I never interacted with.

So recently, we had a mouse problem in the house. Stepdad set out some sticky traps and he caught over 14 tiny ones and one big fat one, which we concluded was the momma mouse. My mom decides to look up information on mice and saw that the animal breeds several times a year and can have anywhere between 10 to 15 baby mice in a single pregnancy.


Hot damn, mice just fuck nearly all the time to make so many babies.

Everyone's a lying twat until proven otherwise :P

And I spent the midnight hours browsing my block in Google Street View feeling nostalgic for how it used to look 2007.


Fuck me, I only just turned 36 and I'm doing this.

Ass

Recently I had some people who really like my rat and Pokemon OCs to the point they up and drew them. You have no idea how glad that makes me when someone is such a fan of my characters that they wanna draw them in their all natural fat state x3

Fuck you.

AND THEY ADDED BANGAA AND NU MOU TO THE LIST!!!!

So the guy couldn't recover my data. He said the only way to truly recover it is to send it off to a lab where they would dissect the drive and do their magic to pull the data off, but that would cost well over $1000, so I said no.


That being said, I did some hunting and managed to recover as many of the commissioned pics as I could via past Discord posts to me and emails. I am still a few hundred bucks in the hole for the services I paid to the company however, so if anyone wants to send me a few bucks to help out, I'd appreciate it.

So two things happened.


1) My monitor was showing signs of possible dying with its flicker and the screen randomly darkening itself at times. I didn't want to keep pushing it until it died for real, so I had to get that replaced.

2) My mechanical hard drive is possibly dying. I store my commissioned pics, SL stuff, and other things on there and it simply won't load. I called a company to see how much it would cost to recover the data and it's a few hundred bucks. Of course stupid me didn't backup my data as frequently as I should have, so yeah.


Overall, I am gonna be about $800 in the hole. Things were already tight enough and this is pushing it over the edge. If anyone can donate a few bucks to me to help ease the sting, I'd REALLY appreciate whatever help you can give. Even signal boosting this journal would help me a lot. You can send me money here:

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/StevenM921

So based on the last journal, you all know by now that I have a rat OC who is cute as hell and whose big fat ass needs lots and lots of pounding ;3 A huge fat nerdy femboyish looking rat is just tops.


On a "things I want" segment, I been wanting to get an RTX 3070 graphics card, but thanks to shortages and scalpers, I'll never get one. I also been searching for a 27 inch 1440p monitor whose refresh rate is 60Hz. If anyone can point me in the right direction to that, let me know!


And on sadder news, we had to put down one of our dogs a week ago. She was really old and sick and one night she was bleeding out of her butt all over the place. Parents decided it was time for her to be put to rest. That's two of our dogs that passed away and now only one is left. This is why I didn't want pets in the first place. I can't take the heartache over and over again. I just can't handle that on top of everything else I am dealing with.

Stay tuned ;3

Nintendo. Oh, Nintendo. No. this isn't about the Pro Switch that never was. This is about their shitty way of updating some of their games. Animal Crossing fans have apparently complained about there being nothing to do in New Horizons and honestly, I think I am in agreement with them. I had the game for barely a month and while I still haven't done stuff like fully upgrading my house or getting ramps on my island, I already feel kind of bored by the game. It's like "wake up, get fossils/bugs/fish for Blathers, sell non native fruit for profit, find glowy hole and bury 10,000 bells for profit, hit rocks, rinse and repeat." Outside of whatever events the game has scheduled, it feels like you only play the game for an hour then stop. I know that's how the other Animal Crossing game kinda worked, but come on, after a decade or two, NIntendo should have stepped it up.

Now how does this tie in with NIntendo's crappy updates? I noticed other games have gotten similar treatment. Mario Tennis Aces started out the same way; barebones at the start, not much variety in what to do, quit playing after sometime. Nintendo slowly rolled out content updates like new characters and new modes, but by then I was already done with the game and had no interest in playing again. Mario Golf: Super Rush is also getting the same complaints and that convinced me to not buy the game. I heard Splatoon also went through a similar phase, but I think that one sort of gets a pass since it was a brand new game and Nintendo had no idea if it would sell well. Plus Splatoon is where Nintendo started the whole "release now, update later." Fun fact: Final Fantasy XIV also did the "push out now, update/fix later" method and that (along with MANY other factors) killed the game, prompting for a reboot. Nintendo needs to stop making empty games and start making games that have a ton of content like Mario Kart 8 had.


In non video game rants, grammar! Or more specifically, words with contractions. All the damn time I keep seeing people using "you're" instead of "your" and "it's" instead of "its". So whenever someone uses the wrong one, I am literally going to read it exactly as they wrote it. So if someone goes "That's you're problem", I am going to say back to them "You are problem?" Or "It fell on it's own" has me reading it as "It fell on it is own." But the one thing that bugs me the most is "no one" being written as "noone". THAT'S NOT A FUCKING WORD! It sounds like a shitty name. I literally ask people who did this "Who is this noone you speak of?" and no one gives me an answer. Fucking hell, people love to give non English speakers shit while you're butchering your own language!

I don't know what to do or say to this. A friend of mine came to the US to be with his boyfriend and they been together for a long time. Today, my friend tells me that his mother back at his home country has gone blind and wants him to come back home to take care of her. This means leaving behind his boyfriend and shelving the plan of immigrating to the US and marrying him. This also will likely mean my friend will be too busy taking care of his mom. Now I feel like I'm alone again. *sigh*

I am more amused than upset at this. On my Twitter, I had a pic of my Zora OC who has his big man titty and big meaty nipples on display with a face that kinda makes it look like he is taking it up the butt. I had this for a long time as my profile picture, but the algorithm gods decided to strike and said my profile pic violated the TOS in regards to having sexual/erotic images for my profile and/or banner.


Yes, my big fat moobs gotten my account suspended! XD


I mean, I know some guys' chests can look like female titty if they're really fat, but come on! Deleted the image in the meantime.

So I'm 35 now, woo. Now excuse me while I head off to work.

For those who haven't heard by now, there's a furry game on Steam in early access called Tribal Hunter where you play as a spirit in a doll's body beating up the bad guys, eating to grow huge to get stronger, and even fattening enemies yourself through certain means! It's a pretty stylized Metroidvania game and it's only $15, not a bad deal.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/.....Tribal_Hunter/

There's a LOT of cameos from lots of furry artists and fans. Sadly, I am not in there since I didn't donate to the kickstarter, but oh well.

Monday was when I hit my lowest as many of you know by now. I cried hard to the point that I exhausted myself and went to bed early that night. I thought about calling out from work the following day, but I decided to go in anyway and bear it because if I stayed home, I think I would have sunk lower into my depression. It wasn't easy to work with Rocky's passing on my mind, but the job helped me stayed focus on my work. By the end of my shift, my mind was much clearer and I felt more calm. Today, I found myself laughing quite hard at a few videos I found and was also making some more thick gals on SL.


I think it's safe to say that I have moved on. Rocky's death will always be on my mind, but I'm no longer drowning in my despair. I can still remember how his voice sounded in his streams and I remember the silly things he would do. I think he would have want me to keep going and remember him for who he was. It will be hard, but I think some of you will make sure I don't fall down again.

We already know that  rockytheprocy passed away from COVID. I been up all night trying to rationalize it, to make it make sense to me. I don't know why I am doing this. Maybe it's to put my own mind at ease. But here is what I gathered:


*Rocky made a few posts on FA and Twitter announcing his cancelation of his streams due to his illness. He posted such updates several times until his husband took over and announced the news of him having COVID.

*After being admitted to the hospital, he was basically sick but stable. However, he required oxygen.

*Another update showed some signs of improvement, but still needing to be monitored. It was also mentioned that Rocky hadn't eaten anything in a few days or even a week due to him being so sick. Rocky being malnourished probably made his body weaker.

*In another update by the husband, Rocky had a secondary infection.

*On February 26th, it seemed like things took a turn for the worse and he passed on the following day.


What does it all mean? I think between the lack of nutrients due to not being able to eat as well as fighting off a different infection, I think Rocky was incredibly unlucky in this situation and COVID took advantage of it. Again, why am I doing all this over analyzing bullshit when I should be sleeping is something I can't answer, but....maybe this is my way of trying to find closure. I still have his Telegram messages saved. We didn't talk much unless it was commission related, but I will hold onto these. It'll be a memory of him I can hold onto.

 rockytheprocy Passed away from Covid. I...I'm completely devastated right now. We weren't exactly close friends, but he was a joy to work with on commissions and he got me into tanukis. I will never forget him. I'm trying to stay strong but...it's very hard...


https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9792937/ this is the source

I found out some time ago that  RockyTheProcy has Covid. He's been in the hospital for a few days and...well...I am worried sick. I'm not his personal friend nor do I know him personally, but he's a great guy from the few times I talked to him when he streamed my commissions and I know everyone loves him. His husband set up a paypal where you can donate whatever you want to help with the bills and what not, seen here:
https://t.co/dO0cXpDZNX?amp=1

I...I feel like crying. For someone I do not know well, I feel like he had an influence on me in some way. He got me into tanukis for one and his art is awesome. He's a kind hearted soul and would always work things out with you. I don't think I could handle it if something happened to him. I pray for his recovery.

https://t.me/addstickers/BigRumps

I made some sticker of fat asses to share!

I haven't heard anything about it in ages.

I haven't heard anything about it in ages.