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Posted 14 years agoGuys I've a confession to make of myself. Because it's out of my hands, God seems to be pushing me to my absolute limits of this mortal shell and the love of my life, my wife, is just about the reaches of her patience with me... no I'm not getting divorced or anything; the fact being that we've just gone through a year (successful, or not), a whole year, of marriage says alot... but some things have gone awry as of late. So this is gonna be the last time you'll see anything of me coming around these parts. A kind of semi-permanent, if not indefinite permanence of absence from here.
Could be for the best, and to prevent the worst.
Maybe it'll do me some good all together.
But in the end, I have to stay far far away and seek myself elsewhere and fix alot of things I've messed up on which may or may not have stemmed from here directly, or as a result, indirectly from a culmination of vague nuances and disappointments from multiple parties and crude, false expectations.
No more submissions, no more livestreams or JTV to be seen since it'll all be hopeless experiences; I've just got to get away.
I'm a coward, a snake, a loser, an underpaid employee to a job I should have left long ago but can't now with hopes of pursuing anything else seeming fruitless and hopeless right now; I've just got to find a way out and moving in the right direction. Which at this point, can be anywhere, anything, any time it seems, but I just have to get moving.
Maybe one day I'll come back. I won't stop doing what I love doing, but you won't see much of it around here for a while. How long it'll take, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I want to know but I know when it comes and it'll feel right.
This'll be the last time I take a look at this too. I'll most likely log out, close this browser, dwell for a little and figure out what it is I need to do and how I'll get there, when I can get there, if I can get there. But in the mean time, I've alot of things I need sorted out before I can come back, if I come back, and say, "Everything's great!" But right now... it's not. And it won't be for I don't know how long.
I've alot needing sorted out and I've been working at it for months now. Hence the random disappearance from a much more darker purpose that's came about and pulled a dark cloud over my house which refuses to subside and break sunlight. Alot to correct... and alot to reflect on.
It's been months now but the results are still the same. Right now they seem to be anyway. So until then-- it was fun (and tragic) while it lasted but I'll be out and about. I won't be completely gone. For those of you who know where to find me and where to look, you'll find me there. I just won't be here.
It's been interesting to say the least but it's all got to come to a close for now until I can formulate another chapter in this story... I'll see you guys when I see you.
Right now, I need to keep telling my wife I love her, seek a much better opportunity of employment, get these bills paid, this family future set, a career to be had-- a whole lifetime of events needing put on the right path and actually started.
Until then, I've gotta get out and figure out what this is all about and get it sorted.
My last results.
Could be for the best, and to prevent the worst.
Maybe it'll do me some good all together.
But in the end, I have to stay far far away and seek myself elsewhere and fix alot of things I've messed up on which may or may not have stemmed from here directly, or as a result, indirectly from a culmination of vague nuances and disappointments from multiple parties and crude, false expectations.
No more submissions, no more livestreams or JTV to be seen since it'll all be hopeless experiences; I've just got to get away.
I'm a coward, a snake, a loser, an underpaid employee to a job I should have left long ago but can't now with hopes of pursuing anything else seeming fruitless and hopeless right now; I've just got to find a way out and moving in the right direction. Which at this point, can be anywhere, anything, any time it seems, but I just have to get moving.
Maybe one day I'll come back. I won't stop doing what I love doing, but you won't see much of it around here for a while. How long it'll take, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I want to know but I know when it comes and it'll feel right.
This'll be the last time I take a look at this too. I'll most likely log out, close this browser, dwell for a little and figure out what it is I need to do and how I'll get there, when I can get there, if I can get there. But in the mean time, I've alot of things I need sorted out before I can come back, if I come back, and say, "Everything's great!" But right now... it's not. And it won't be for I don't know how long.
I've alot needing sorted out and I've been working at it for months now. Hence the random disappearance from a much more darker purpose that's came about and pulled a dark cloud over my house which refuses to subside and break sunlight. Alot to correct... and alot to reflect on.
It's been months now but the results are still the same. Right now they seem to be anyway. So until then-- it was fun (and tragic) while it lasted but I'll be out and about. I won't be completely gone. For those of you who know where to find me and where to look, you'll find me there. I just won't be here.
It's been interesting to say the least but it's all got to come to a close for now until I can formulate another chapter in this story... I'll see you guys when I see you.
Right now, I need to keep telling my wife I love her, seek a much better opportunity of employment, get these bills paid, this family future set, a career to be had-- a whole lifetime of events needing put on the right path and actually started.
Until then, I've gotta get out and figure out what this is all about and get it sorted.
My last results.
