Hey what's up :)
I'm alive and hopefully gonna be posting some more art >:) got a little bit of a backlog, haha

blowing some dust off this account
I'm starting by tidying up my page a lil' and sticking all my old stuff in scraps. A nice clean slate, sort of.

I think I will just be lurking around the place, mostly, though I do have a small backlog of stuff I could potentially upload at some point? I'm not sure I'll do that though. But maybe!

I hope everyone has been doin' well tho! I'' try to keep this place a lil more up to date c;

Streaming some commission work
I dunno how long my internet's gonna hold out.... but here's the link if you wanna join me!
https://picarto.tv/Xaanik

here's a WIP if u wanna have a peek
https://sta.sh/01vbm1ms936f


EDIT: having a few connection problems so I think I'll call it a night streaming-wise
gonna keep working for an hour or so but then it's time for bed :0

edit 30/9: here's a whole bunch of WIPs actually
not done yet but i love how it's going

https://sta.sh/2135a7x1ey8a

my new graphics tablet cord still isnt here... BUT i managed to eke out a little extra life out of my dead one by taping it up and weighing it down in a certain spot... It's not an ideal setup & i dont know how long it'll hold out but hopefully it'll be enough to let me get back to work, and to tide me over till the new cord arives
commission work is inching along, I've done some more last night... my creative juices arent exactly flowing freely but at a certain point you gotta do what you gotta do!!!

my brain's a soup of exhaustion & depression but at least i've overcome the initial shock of moving home
i might be able to survive here after all ahahha
we'll see

i was hoping to bump that emo journal out of the way with something more positive but unfortunately things have only gotten worse

I knew it would be bad (no electricity at night & terrible internet & my parents & many other things) but hah I thought I'd at least still have a real place to sleep ;0;

i could go on but the long and short of it is that i dont think i can survive here at my parents place but i gotta cause i'm too messed up to have a real job
on the bright side at least i have somewhere to live even if it's a rickety shed 5 hours from the nearest real city
I'm lucky that my parents care about me enough to let me stay here
I am grateful that I had this as a fallback but,,,,, it still isn't... an ideal situation for my already abysmal mental health :(

lmao anyway to top it off my graphics tablet seems to have been damaged in some way during the transport 'cause it's not working now..... Hopefully it's just an issue with the cord because I sure as hell can't afford a new tablet :(
I'll try to ordering a new one but if that doesn't work idk what I'm gonna do :(

oh also I forgot but it was my birthday yesterday so that's cool
Means I've been on FA for exactly a year :0
time flies :0

So I'm back in my home state on the other side of the continent
In the city with my grandparents for a week before I go live with my parents

I am hurting physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually
I miss my apartment so much
I miss my freedom so much
All the stuff I took for granted in the past year is gone and boy am I missing it

Everything feels so bad and wrong and lonely and I'm overcome with grief tbh

Hopefully things will feel less awful soon
But rn they are.... Very awful

I'm moving back across the country tomorrow so everything's hectic & stressful as all hell & it's got me incredibly incredibly heartbroken & badly badly depressed

I probably won't be very active over the coming week :s

goodbye city life, it was fun while it lasted

i have so much to do but I feel like McDeath

Howdy guys!
Hope you're all doing good.
I'm sorry I haven't been very active of late... I'll try to remedy that, though I'm not sure how successful I'll be.


Just posting a general update I guess?
Or... more of a vent journal I guess.... :\
Seems a weird place to do it but I don't really have anywhere better to scream my grievances to the void haha

ok, to the complaining:

Things have been mournful and full of stress here in meatspace as I'm preparing to move outta this apartment to go live with my parents again. As much as I love this city, I'm just too much of a mess to be able to support myself financially :( so.... it's back to living in the absolute middle of nowhere again.

My mental health has deteriorated a lot as a result (and it really wasn't too great to start with :')). My art's been suffering too. Productivity of any kind is so hard. Weeks fly by without me doing a single thing.
It's getting increasingly difficult to do so much as leave my room these days... I've barely been outside for months and months on end. Not that either of those things are unusual for me these days.
Things are too much. Being a person is Too Much.

tbh I don't really know what I'm gonna do :/

I'm not resolute enough to actually harm myself too badly tho so don't worry
I live here with my friend I don't have the privacy necessary for anything drastic anyway

Come 2 think of it maybe i should be back on antidepressants....? Not that any of the ones I've tried seem to help anyway. I don't even think this is normal depression it's been so unrelentingly chronic for so many years and no depression fightin' techniques seem to help it... should have seen a psychologist who knew their stuff while i was here haha, I've seen all the ones in my hometown already and none of them were able to help me at all :/ tho then again you can't really help someone who won't help themself :\ :/ :\ :/ :\
either i pick myself up or I'll keep goin down the same road. If I don't like where this one is leading I just gotta suck it up and make some changes. Take charge of my life. Or somethin'.

bleh



annnyway
that's enough complaining



On a less dismal note, I got Flight Rising and Toyhouse accounts recently! I'll be puttin' those links up in my profile shortly.

Hey there!
Thankfully I'm not dead, though my lack of activity here would seem to imply otherwise.
I have bit of content to upload to here so I'll be doing that tonight (if you follow me elsewhere you'll probably have seen it though)

ALSO if you were wondering about those requests, don't worry I haven't forgotten about them! But I'll be doing them randomly at whatever time strikes my fancy, so they'll kind of be a surprise if and when I do them. c:

Hi all!
Just letting you know I will continue working on those requests - - I just want to get this payed YCH done first! It's almost done, due to be finished tomorrow. Then I'll be able to get to the free stuff!

I aim to complete five more of them (not necessarily in any order) but I may do more deleting on how I'm going. I won't take any more, as I have plenty to work with already.

Also note that if your request was a nsfw one it'll be uploaded to my nsfw account instead.

Ok I've decided to make a separate NSFW account, and will be moving all my really NSFW stuff to there! So, if you wanna see some more dicks go to  badaarix instead of this account c;

I'm 20 now
[cue screams]

Hiya everyone!
I've decided to expand my online presence into the realm of Fur Affinity~ [single party popper fires in the distance]

So yeah I'm very very new here and have little idea what I'm doing. is human/non-furry artwork generally frowned upon on here or is it okay? I ask because I have a big stash of art I could upload but it's mostly elf dudes with wings haha