HAY GUIZ.

It's that time of the year again for ABBEY TRAVELS. Dun dun DUUUUUN! I'm heading to the wonderful TFF for babby fun and general insanity.

SO. I want to know which of you fuzzy butts is going! Who will I see!?!?! What will be done!? How much poof can be poofed!

Please update meeee. <3 you all!

You silly furries. What are you doing. Silly furries. Stahp.

I've seen you kids try to critique others artwork and usually I'll hear one of two things that you guys have learned
to say. 'proportions are good' and 'Your perspective is good!' (in regaurds to the relativity of space in a drawing, not
the thoughts behind the piece). These are fine staples of art and in my classes we do hear it as praise. But I have
seen these 2 repeated often and usually on artwork that has neither good perspective (dull, uninteresting angles) or
good proportion (seriously, his arm is bulbous compared to his other and I'm pretty sure bones don't bend like that).

This is bad guys.

I get wanting to be nice, giving a compliment and such. Sometimes you don't catch little things or there are reasons
for 'wrong' details (no, style doesn't count, shut up and learn). But not being honest will hurt the artist. They
wont change what they are doing, they might not be catching their bad habits. Some think that it's good for early
artists if they only hear praise. NOPE. That's the BEST time to get a kick in the ass and told you're doing everything
wrong. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't tell them to explore, change, or make bold movements! When I started
drawing digitally, I had someone tell me my lines were too thick and that I should be more like onta. I wish that person
had shut thier fucking mouth, because that one comment curbed me from exploring styles digitally as I tried to 'fit in'
and 'do it right'. But if they had told me my characters arms looked too skinny (they did) and his clothing too flat (looked
quite like paper on a 2D model) I would have learned a little more about proportion and depth and to look for those
things in my art. See the difference? One if preference and something that should be left well alone, one is technical
skill.

And artists, if someone gives you a critique, DON'T COMPLAIN. You asshole. It's okay to ask people not to critique
in the description and on your page. Thats fine! But when someone does, don't make a scene about it. Just ignore it
like you ignore trolls or leave a polite reminder. Tons of people WANT feedback and when you are a grouch it discourages
folks to leave their thoughts and makes the furry cycle of staying quiet and leaving only favorites more pronounced. :C

Er, anyways, My point behind all this is when you are writing a critique, think critically and honestly about it. Don't hold
back just because you might upset someone. To get better, you need to hear more than positives. Just so long as the
critiquer isn't just bashing someone. Also, remember to leave feedback on how to correct the problem!

Sorry for the wall o text. >.>

Something I've always found interesting about this fandom is how we support each other through many people's obsession
with spending hundreds of dollars on commissions. For some the spending is a casual thing they do on the occasion or for
special events. For some it's almost like a drug and they will buy commissions with their paychecks when they need that
money for more important things. and then there's people like me who almost never contribute to the economic well being
of this system.

For me, I just never have an idea and think "hmm, I would love to see that in someones style". It's always "Oh I should write
that down to draw later". I suppose one day I'll commission something and really see the appeal, but at the moment, I'm
happy with small badges and making my own stuff. haha.

Also, I have an appreciation for fine art, so if I wanted to buy some 150$ painting, I would buy one from a gallery faster
than I would commision a furry artist. >.>

Doot doot doot.

PS: I got an intuos 5 tablet for painting digitally. This thing kicks ass, it's much bigger than my older tablet and I can use a
bunch of the new feature sets that it comes with. <3

Getting that nasty old journal off my page..

Oh winter, i invite you, I implore you to last longer and snow harder. It's not really Christmas, but something about this time of year has always made me happy. Probably the possibility of that beautiful white powder that looms every season as well as trekking up to the mountains for some good snow boarding. It also means more inside time because of Washington gray weather and sleeping much easier cus my room doesn't turn into an oven. So yay winter!

and speaking of that.. Winter break is coming up and I want to take advantage of that fact! Time to rev up old programs and take a stab at making a ton of furry artwork again. I've already been breaking my bad habits and drawing everyday so at least I'm still improving, but I want to do better than that and I know I can. :I

Also, I miss you all because you're all awesome.
<3

And I plan to fix that.

Everyday I stress about school because I'm too busy browsing reddit or talking to furries or getting distracted with my ADHD like tendencies. So I'm always worrying about homework Because I don't do well in focusing so I always feel like, and am, behind on personal art since I have no time for it because I can't focus on the important stuff.

I stress and have no outlet for my creative ventures except in the short minute minutes of peace on breaks and in class when I'm bored. Then I go to work and get treated like a worthless cash register by all the high and mighty patrons that come in for food. Some are friendly, most don't care.

I get sir'd (called my old gender) everyday which degrades my self worth and makes me not want to get hormone treatment since I never feel adequate enough to pass on even that basic level. Because my dad is still against it, I cannot even wear my clothes in my home that make me feel more secure.

Then I come home to a broken home with no-one agreeing on anything and treading old memories that I'd rather never bring up that constantly bog me down further. I smoke weed to counteract these negative feelings and help me sleep at night, otherwise I would be awake until 4-5am with horrible anxiety about feeling alone and worthless. But that just takes away precious time I could be spending on a model or on a paper.

This is my schedule. Every day. And I need to change it.

Someone told me that sometimes, people have to do things they don't want to, even if it makes them unhappy. I hate this idea. I hate it with a bloody passion. That this idea is constantly perpetuated, and I've watched my family basically crumble over the years because of THIS EXACT REASON, makes me burn with frustration at hearing it AGAIN. So fuck it.

I'm probably going to quit my job. I hate it already, I hate working fast food and I hate the way I feel after I work there. I'm already looking into internships, nothing seems promising but whatever. If I don't find something soon I'm just going to take the time I get off from work to build up my portfolio. I'll at least feel successful and accomplished instead of feeling like I just wasted the past 6-7 hours.

I just recently found out how cheap hormones are. I was told they would cost me around 200+ a month, but apparently I can get them as cheap as 50$ a month or a little more and have my insurance cover it. Laser is more expensive, but If I can at least be on hormones, I'd be happy.

I don't know how to deal with my ADHD. I know some people say it's not real and it's a cop out, but I think I do have it because nothing explains it otherwise. I can't concentrate on anything for very long (unless I smoke) and that includes fun things like video games. It's like I'm a hyper puppy that can't turn off sometimes. Don't suggest meds, because I know and have field tested every ADHD drug on the market and my body rejects them through severe side effects. However, I'm getting better at getting away from distractions, so that's a step up in my book.

I'm not gunna stop smoking weed. Why? it keeps me mellow and works for my short-term stress while I get over hoops. I just need to wait a little longer at night before I smoke so I can get more work done.

If all goes well I'll be able to draw more, be more active here and actually get artwork I want done, done.

Sorry for the wall of text, if you actually read all that, congrats. This isn't really posted for you guys though, I'm just letting off steam.

Sometimes, I honestly don't know whether to laugh, cry, pity, shame, or just plain ignore some parts of this little subset of
a fandom we have going on. You guys show me some of the best that can be offered and the worst that can be brought up
in a lumped together group and it brings me endless entertainment. I just wanted to say thanks for letting me peer over all
your shoulders and giggle at the fascinating social hierarchy that is our place in the furry fandom. XD

Or in better words, "how many babbies can we fit in one con space at once!"

So yes, the ever crinkly con known as rainfurrest is rearing it's little head in Seattle this weekend. SO I WANNA STALK SEE ALL WHO IS COMING. Please tell a fufsky. :3

ALSO, if you are shy and you see me and want to say hi, I WANT YOU TO COME AND SAY HI. PUPPIES LIKE HI'S AND HUGS.

I'll be on a camping trip for 4-5 days. So contact with me will be scarce and limited to what phone coverage I get out in the sticks. Love you all!

Hay guys, I'm looking for a particular shop I remember a while back. I believe they advertised on here before and I remember the site having a darker layout and the banner containing a fox and a wolf in a harness. I think the catchline/slogan was something about taming the fox...

Anyway, if that at all sounds familiar, please tell me about it. :I

Or if you know where to get good petplay gear.. that works too.

Some of you are awake.

But people I know,

are all asleep.

Hey guys, so I never followed up, but from July 14th-22nd I was on a road trip with  adilor up in Calgary, Canmore, and
Banff in Alberta, Canada. We made the trip because it's summer and a roadtrip is always a welcome break from the
monotony of living in the same place and doing the same things. We also did it to meet  souffle in real life and attain a
new friend as well as being a good excuse to leave the country for a little while (i never had until then). While I spent well
over what I wanted to spend, the trip was overall worth it and I'll be going back sometime next year.

Really I don't want to discuss what exactly went on entirely, but rest assured it was full of fun activities both sexual and cubby, at least during the private condo time. If you want more of the fine and 'fun' details, ask me privately. :P

Otherwise we took a hiking trip, enjoyed views, and ate delicious food the entire time. We got good and personal tours and I
learned more about Canada than I think I would have if I had gone alone.


As a side note, I got Photoshop back with college money. So now I can continue the digital paintings I was working on. This
makes me a happy panda. :D

I'm in Canada and phone stuff is super expensive. Please don't text me until the 22nd. D:

EVERYONE SHOUT AND YELL ITS FUN AND COOL BARK.

BARKBARK.

So, you can revoke my geek card if you wish, but I'm terrible at certain things. I wanted to just get a website up, hosted, ect
with a template editor (I don't do code very much, sorry). I wanted this to be reasonably cheap and easy so I could start
posting my portfolio work and not have to fanangle with anything and get a headache.

But I don't even know where to begiiiin. My teacher recommended Weebly.com, and I already have a little site up from their
free version, but I wanted my own dedicated domain name (they add .weebly.com until you buy one).

If you guys have suggestions for a Panda, they would be splendid!

::edit: oh, and is 40$ for a year for your domain cheap or pricey?

For fuckin' reals! This song pretty much sums up the playful, euphoric, excitement that comes with seeing the sun in Washington more often. I'm desperate for some long down time for I don't think I've ever had to work hard for so long at something. D:

See, I'm a Highschool drop out. I didn't do too well in the traditional environment and I never got the hang of that whole 'personal discipline' kinda thing. So I generally failed, which resulted in going through multiple programs for my education, which is important to me. But lo' and behold, I found a neat program that has thus far been a success for Panda's! Huzzah!

HOWEVER.

It's been non-stop college work. Which is actually easier than I would have thought previously. But still, it's a stress that I'm still getting over and powering through. This has been REALLY good for my self esteem but has TOTALLY crushed my artist side, which thrives on the freedom to actually be able to do stuff in my free time. Which I have non of because I'm a horrid procrastinator and even worse at managing my time. Which means I get burnt out and my mood suffers for it. >.<

SO. Here comes summer, which I have to take off from school anyways. So I am gunna blow off SO much creative steam and stuff and cub out like I was just given a handful of candy. :I

From not me!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3558178/

What's up with it man? Whenever I try to draw something, I always want to add something to that vast nothingness behind
the character. But when I look at a lot of furry art, it's filled with abstract shapes, filler Photoshop brushes, and not really
what I would constitute a scene. For some it works out in their favor, for others it ends up looking like a cheap ploy to bat
off that pesky extra work. I'm not saying you NEED a background but, I've certainly seen a lot of pictures that would have
benefited from one.

Anyone else notice this?

If you care at all to ask any questions, please, do. I'm an odd one, so things could be discovered that you may have never known! :D

I have a duality when it comes to my art, and I'm certain I'm not alone. There are times when I feel absolutely wonderful about my art, so proud to show anyone the stuff I made out of my head. I'm confident, delighted, and feel like I've gotten better.

Later I look at my work and regret each feeling and count down the days tilll I wake up from this silly dream of trying to be a concept artist professionally.

I know this page doesn't show it off (really it doesn't) But I've been working my ass off to improve my general skills. I'm in life drawing, I've taken color theory, I'm story-boarding to help set up scenes and character concepts to make more lively casts. But never have I disappointed myself more. I don't draw enough, I can't even muster the inner strength or discipline to work consistently.

Most of the time the reason why I'm so busy is because I'm too bonkers to sit down and focus for longer than 5 minutes to actually render an image, and then I get down in the dumps for not doing it, so I don't do it! The bulk of my work is done at school, and for some reason it feels impossible to concentrate at home. I want to paint, I want to draw Furries in my free time, I want to explore more and more. But when the time comes, I sit down, and BAM, an hour has gone by and I'm off doing something else and then I feel miserable for not doing it. So I haven't improved my color or watercolor skills in the slightest. It all comes out looking like I just started drawing.

"But abbey. why don't you just -do- it!". I really want to say I can. I really want to just be able to sit down and draw for at least an hour before I take a break. I want to see things get better. But that wont happen unless my brain lets up in one of it's rare moods and allows the floodgates of concentration to contain the overwhelming urge to do something else.

:Note: yes, ADHD meds and all that could help, but my body is prone to sensitivity and dislikes my advances to fix the issue. I went through so many meds with adverse side effects from severe abdominal pain to sweating like a pig the entire day. :/

/endRant

So, I'm really, really excited when I start looking at hormone therapy. I look at the results, I think about my happiness, I enjoy every moment of hoping that all will go smoothly and that I'll live an amazing life afterwards. My luck says "never" but my heart yerns and leans to yes.

I also worry, I worry that I wont have support. I worry that even with support, the world around me will always hate what I am and will continue to disown my very nature, call me psychotic for even thinking about trying to fit my body into something it's "not".

But it seems silly, really, to think that the thing that scares me most, stays on my mind longest, and makes me cringe the hardest is the needle.

Yes.

That horrible, pointy, metal object being forced into.. me. *shivers* It's that little, evil, thing that I have always dreaded and now I must somehow find a way to make myself not shrivel in revulsion at the mere thought of seeing my medicine. See, I wanted to become a doctor or a nurse one day at one point. I loved the idea of science, helping others, and the chance to really do something in my life. But, then I started health classes and realized I get quite queasy at anything medical related (blood, guts, bones, ect).

So now I need to get over this shit. poopy. :c

Yes. Those icky, naughty, delusional substances that only bad, evil, and worthless layabouts do because.. well.. BECAUSE. >:C

get with the program!

..

In all seriousness, I am curious on the opinions you hold regarding Marijuana, Mushrooms, Cocaine, ect. You can post about
whatever/whichever ones you so choose, but always remember it's an opinion! People have them. :D

What do you think about them? Any personal experiences that are good or bad? Should certain drugs be legal or should they
all be outlawed forever and kept away in dark cellars? Is the manufacture and distribution by a government or regulated individual
a safer alternative then letting kingpins kill each-other in gang wars over cut and unsafe loot?

I ask since I have.. well.. many people in my life who do/are/will be affected by all sorts of drugs. From kids who's parents are
heroine and meth addicts to people who just toke up MJ on the occasion. I'm curious what your outside perspective is.

Go Commission my boyfriend for a story. :[]

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3401755/

Yeah, so, nightly I've been getting heavy migraines or headaches or some mish mash of the two. It's probably from me wrecking
my sleep cycle and doing certain activities to help me sleep and then jolting myself awake with coffee or tea. Bleh. Keep on
chuggin' along I suppose. Needa go visit boy and daddy to get a little more relief. c:

In other news, sorry I've been so... absent. I really wish I had time to sit down and draw more innocent scenes that keep popping
up in my head, but school has been forcing me to pump out tons of ideas in a short amount of time. I suppose If I managed my
time better I could easily do more, but alas, I'm not so good with that whole "focusing" thing. Need to read more books and less
internet. More traditional art, less staring at video games. The reason why I'm so busy usually is because I tend to start somethin
and immediately trail off 5 or less minutes later, resulting in precious "getting shit done" time lost.

Slightly related, this goes for messenger peeps too. I've been away from those cus'.. well.. all the stuff i just mentioned.

Also, F5 for a breaking news bulletin.

This degree is soooooooo helpful artwise. Already I can tell everything I do is improving rapidly. BUT, there are still holes in where I
want to ideally be. For example, getting into the habit of starting small paintings and marker stuff when I get home AFTER school. My
coloring is just dreadful, and doing that would help immensely I think. >.>

In other news, I'm a loner. Well.. I suppose not ALL the time, but a good solid chunk of my time is devoted to sitting alone thinking,
dreaming, scheming, and whatnot. It's pretty well established that introversion is my natural mode of function. But sometimes I feel
bad about it, like when I leave a group of friends because I really am just not feeling social. I'm at school, and a few moments ago I
left a group of people I hang out with to start browsing FA and listen to music and do homework. Why? I don't know, but even if I have
the feeling of missing something they are getting, I still go to being a recluse. Makes me feel odd and a little too distanced. :/

Oh well, It's probably a normal thing that I'm obsessing too much about.

More art soon, I'm making a lot of it. :B

IT'S.

EVERYWHERE.

I have a wonderfully dreadful feeling that this quarter is going to keep me busy busy busy! Already I'm doing stuff and I have
A LOT on my mind. Teachers are all good people so far and NO online classes, which is a huge whoop whoop in the air for me.
Besides so: 3 drawing, a psych, and a modeling/texturing class. All these classes bundled up into a hootinanny to remember.

My poor, poor right hand...

WILL NOW STOP SLACKING YOU LAZY-