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Posted 8 years agoSince my depression was at a new-time low, and after a flare-up-like episode of whatever I have that wasn't triggered by anything for once, I decided it was time to head to the ER this past Wednesday. The fortunate part is the fact that I do not have cancer or diabetes (which were my two biggest fears). In fact, I'm pretty much perfectly fine aside from the fact that the cyst on my left ovary has grown since my last ultrasound back in 2012. So the suspicion that I have endometriosis regarding that still remains. But as far as life-threatening shit, I'm good and I'll live.
However, there are other symptoms that make me question if endometriosis may not be the only thing I have (if I have it at all; I still need the laparoscopic surgery to find out for sure). After looking up symptoms and stuff, I've found that I may have Lupus.
KEEP THIS IN MIND: I am not saying that "I have this and this because the internet told me so." This is all speculation based on my own experiences and observations that I feel are worth bringing up to the doctor(s). Because I am poor and don't have insurance, I cannot find shit out right away and needed something to start with. But the good news is that this hospital in Pittsburgh that I'm going to? They will work out a payment plan with patients who don't have insurance, which means I'm going to get shit done about my health and see what's going on.
Honestly, I wanna get rid of my uterus. I'm not gonna use it, and it's done nothing but give me problems. I'm sick of having periods, as they not only cost money to maintain, but periods are the whole reason why I've failed some of my classes in the past because I couldn't make it to class, and nearly cost me losing my first job multiple times. I don't want kids, so why keep the stupid organ? I fucking hate it.
I'm gonna wait until Monday to make the phone call to schedule my appointments: one for the PCP, one for the gyno. I wanna be able to have strength and energy to do stuff again, damnit. I'm sick of not being able to work out consistently because of periods or lack of energy.
However, there are other symptoms that make me question if endometriosis may not be the only thing I have (if I have it at all; I still need the laparoscopic surgery to find out for sure). After looking up symptoms and stuff, I've found that I may have Lupus.
KEEP THIS IN MIND: I am not saying that "I have this and this because the internet told me so." This is all speculation based on my own experiences and observations that I feel are worth bringing up to the doctor(s). Because I am poor and don't have insurance, I cannot find shit out right away and needed something to start with. But the good news is that this hospital in Pittsburgh that I'm going to? They will work out a payment plan with patients who don't have insurance, which means I'm going to get shit done about my health and see what's going on.
Honestly, I wanna get rid of my uterus. I'm not gonna use it, and it's done nothing but give me problems. I'm sick of having periods, as they not only cost money to maintain, but periods are the whole reason why I've failed some of my classes in the past because I couldn't make it to class, and nearly cost me losing my first job multiple times. I don't want kids, so why keep the stupid organ? I fucking hate it.
I'm gonna wait until Monday to make the phone call to schedule my appointments: one for the PCP, one for the gyno. I wanna be able to have strength and energy to do stuff again, damnit. I'm sick of not being able to work out consistently because of periods or lack of energy.
Life Update
Posted 8 years agoOkay, where to start....
Well, after a... bit of trauma suffering the loss of a sibling back in 2011, I stopped being a christian, but wasn't too content at all with believing in nothing. I discovered Paganism and now I follow four gods, but Loki's head-god in my life (and I'm cool with that). The other gods are Bast, Thoth, and Cernunnos.
I've also decided to actually do research on different political views and found that anarchism is best for me. So... there's that.
After rising rent prices and BEDBUGS, my husband and I could no longer afford to remain living in that hole-in-the-wall of an apartment in downtown Pittsburgh and ended up moving back in with my parents. There are no college opportunities here, and with things I cannot discuss publicly, my parents are hoping for a series of things to happen in order for them to be able to move north in Ohio here, where I will hopefully be able to attend a community college and eventually Kent State where I can do a double major in geology and organismal biology in hopes to pave a decent path to becoming a paleontologist (and I'll get to that in a sec).
Living back here with my parents has been... Both imprisoning and liberating. Imprisoning because it's the middle of fucking nowhere. You have to drive from this hilly-ass farm to go do anything. And there's VERY little to do. There's the mall, and.... And that's it. One mall that's surprisingly thriving (probably because THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO DO HERE aside from bowling which we can't always afford). The mall itself ain't bad. It has a discount art supply store, which that alone contributed to my rekindled motivation for creating art once more (the other was I found out that the Art Institute was a complete fraud and, while the government sued them, we're still stuck with the fucking debt... bastards), it also has a comic book store which, I sadly cannot afford to get much from there as we have been almost constantly strapped tight for cash, but I try to get what I can when I can. There's also a bookstore which, see previous sentence for reasons why I can't always get a book every time I go. Besides, they don't have anything involving leftist ideologies and their Pagan section is sad. I'd get into some other fiction, but I'm still trying to learn more about anarchism and leftism in general on my own, on top of wanting to start bulking up my knowledge on paleontology and catching up on book series that I've been putting off since forever, such as the Harry Potter series (I'm only ONE BOOK IN) and Game of Thrones (a book and a quarter in).
In recent years, I've been hearing more and more about creationism, but what disgusts me more is the fact that there's this group of people that actually exist who think that dinosaurs have never existed (no... I'm not kidding... and you can find these assholes on YouTube). Them fueling my rage has rekindled my long-forgotten and suppressed since childhood dream of becoming a paleontologist (which was squashed by a teacher who told me that scientists have to be smart people, and no smart person gets a C in math in FIFTH GRADE). So I'm gonna try my damnedest to get into paleontology.
Aaaand health-wise: I MAY or may not have endometriosis. I can't afford to find out, I want a partial hysterectomy anyways so I don't have to deal with periods anymore (but I'm too poor for that, too). I've also had my diet drastically change because anything super greasy/oily or red meat will make me sick, so I have to watch out for that. I mean, after a while of eating "clean foods", I can have like... one slice of pizza and largely be okay, but... That's it. I can't really eat anymore unless I don't mind having gut cramps and shit. These symptoms are common with endometriosis (among others that I have of which I will not share with you here), so it doesn't surprise me. I also have a rotten wisdom tooth I've been keeping from getting infected, because I can't afford oral surgery to get rid of all my wisdom teeth.
*sigh* .....regarding my financial situation, my parents can't help much either. They're pretty poor, too. But my mom says that if I can keep the house clean, she'll pay me what she can. I have to de-clutter it, first. I might be able to start on that tomorrow, now that I think about it.
Oh, and last but not least, my fursona is done changing. I'm a vampire bat. Because.
Well, after a... bit of trauma suffering the loss of a sibling back in 2011, I stopped being a christian, but wasn't too content at all with believing in nothing. I discovered Paganism and now I follow four gods, but Loki's head-god in my life (and I'm cool with that). The other gods are Bast, Thoth, and Cernunnos.
I've also decided to actually do research on different political views and found that anarchism is best for me. So... there's that.
After rising rent prices and BEDBUGS, my husband and I could no longer afford to remain living in that hole-in-the-wall of an apartment in downtown Pittsburgh and ended up moving back in with my parents. There are no college opportunities here, and with things I cannot discuss publicly, my parents are hoping for a series of things to happen in order for them to be able to move north in Ohio here, where I will hopefully be able to attend a community college and eventually Kent State where I can do a double major in geology and organismal biology in hopes to pave a decent path to becoming a paleontologist (and I'll get to that in a sec).
Living back here with my parents has been... Both imprisoning and liberating. Imprisoning because it's the middle of fucking nowhere. You have to drive from this hilly-ass farm to go do anything. And there's VERY little to do. There's the mall, and.... And that's it. One mall that's surprisingly thriving (probably because THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO DO HERE aside from bowling which we can't always afford). The mall itself ain't bad. It has a discount art supply store, which that alone contributed to my rekindled motivation for creating art once more (the other was I found out that the Art Institute was a complete fraud and, while the government sued them, we're still stuck with the fucking debt... bastards), it also has a comic book store which, I sadly cannot afford to get much from there as we have been almost constantly strapped tight for cash, but I try to get what I can when I can. There's also a bookstore which, see previous sentence for reasons why I can't always get a book every time I go. Besides, they don't have anything involving leftist ideologies and their Pagan section is sad. I'd get into some other fiction, but I'm still trying to learn more about anarchism and leftism in general on my own, on top of wanting to start bulking up my knowledge on paleontology and catching up on book series that I've been putting off since forever, such as the Harry Potter series (I'm only ONE BOOK IN) and Game of Thrones (a book and a quarter in).
In recent years, I've been hearing more and more about creationism, but what disgusts me more is the fact that there's this group of people that actually exist who think that dinosaurs have never existed (no... I'm not kidding... and you can find these assholes on YouTube). Them fueling my rage has rekindled my long-forgotten and suppressed since childhood dream of becoming a paleontologist (which was squashed by a teacher who told me that scientists have to be smart people, and no smart person gets a C in math in FIFTH GRADE). So I'm gonna try my damnedest to get into paleontology.
Aaaand health-wise: I MAY or may not have endometriosis. I can't afford to find out, I want a partial hysterectomy anyways so I don't have to deal with periods anymore (but I'm too poor for that, too). I've also had my diet drastically change because anything super greasy/oily or red meat will make me sick, so I have to watch out for that. I mean, after a while of eating "clean foods", I can have like... one slice of pizza and largely be okay, but... That's it. I can't really eat anymore unless I don't mind having gut cramps and shit. These symptoms are common with endometriosis (among others that I have of which I will not share with you here), so it doesn't surprise me. I also have a rotten wisdom tooth I've been keeping from getting infected, because I can't afford oral surgery to get rid of all my wisdom teeth.
*sigh* .....regarding my financial situation, my parents can't help much either. They're pretty poor, too. But my mom says that if I can keep the house clean, she'll pay me what she can. I have to de-clutter it, first. I might be able to start on that tomorrow, now that I think about it.
Oh, and last but not least, my fursona is done changing. I'm a vampire bat. Because.
Fresh Start
Posted 8 years agoKinda decided to restart my attempt at being a part of an artist community once more. Deviantart is out of the question, so I'm gonna largely stick with this and my art blog on tumblr. Just to verify: my old profile screenname was "Moth_the_Hyena"
I'm back more in an artistic mood and have been doing more artistic stuff lately. I'll post some stuff to here in a bit. Some of it is drawings, some of it are paintings. I do better with traditional artwork than I do with digital. Which... surprises the hell out of me.
I'll do a new journal entry doing an update on life in general and how I've grown since I last touched this website.
I'm back more in an artistic mood and have been doing more artistic stuff lately. I'll post some stuff to here in a bit. Some of it is drawings, some of it are paintings. I do better with traditional artwork than I do with digital. Which... surprises the hell out of me.
I'll do a new journal entry doing an update on life in general and how I've grown since I last touched this website.
