So I've started to come to terms with the fact that I went overboard and bought myself WAY too many adopts and stuff. So I want to go ahead and rehome them since I have not been doing anything with them, and to narrow down which characters of mine I commission art of. All of them are located over here at http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....-Sale-Adoption this folder, and I'm thinking of selling them around $5-10 each since I did initially buy them for more than that.

Aaaaaa I'm still super excited over the fact I just got my letter of recommendation for getting onto HRT. Soon as I meet with the doctor then I can hopefully start HRT soon! I am one step closer to being Connie permanently!

If anyone wants to contact me feel free. I'm also active on my Discord. Feel free to ask me and I'll PM you if I feel comfortable with you on these.

That said, can someone link me to someone who has commissions open and is also doing Telegram Sticker commissions? I'd be looking into that for sure!

This is just a heads up. I've got around 120 images that I need to upload onto FA so over this week I will be doing that. BUT on top of that feel free to ask me some questions. It is TMI Tuesday so ask away! I'm down for questions.

Mind you I've got an hour before work so I'll try to answer as many of these now as I can. The rest would be after I get off work in roughly 11 hours. But ask away!

I've seen this going around for a few people so ask away! If something I feel uncomfortable with answering publically I would note it. But yes! I'm down for answering some stuff since I don't have work today.

To me. Turning 26 now. No idea if it will be a good one since I do work today.

These are all in mediums - I've got a Half case of Tykables Waddlers. A pack of SDKs. A pack of Kiddos. A pack of Cushies. Three packs of ABU Power Up Boosters. If you know of anyone who is willing to buy these from me please send tell them to send me a note. Bills ate up almost all of my money and so I'm choosing to sell these to get some money.

Listings are over here -

https://www.ebay.com/itm/AB-Cushies.....k/153045942892
https://www.ebay.com/itm/abuniverse.....m/153045944148
https://www.ebay.com/itm/Tykables-W.....e/153045946265
https://www.ebay.com/itm/ABUniverse.....m/153045947810
https://www.ebay.com/itm/ABuniverse.....s/153045951834

Why not. Gonna steal the journal from a bunch of other people. Most notably  SuburbanWilderness and  DDestro

24 years now. At least I got through the rough period a couple weeks back. Apparently showing how stressed I was by saying I don't care about a couple processes proved that I needed to be relocated for a while. Now I'm not gonna be posted permanently to the manufacturing floor where I work! Yay for me!

...Oh right...15 days till my birthday...and yet I just feel like I'm losing myself. Work's become QUITE the stress load. Can't even take time off without my boss accusing me of putting them at a disadvantage when I bust my ass off. He relies too much on me. And...just fuck everything is just pushing my confidence and self worth I've been working on lately down the drain. I just...wish I had a place right now where I could curl up and just release all of this negativity. Have someone here to just hold me, rock me, and tell me I'll be fine. But yet here I am...in my own little hole...I hate the fact I can't go through my laptop and just be with someone so much right now.

I've put on some weight over the past year or so ever since I finally moved out of my house. Nothing wrong with that, since I wanted to do that. The problem for me now though? If I want to wear my Abena M4s (mediums), I have to deal with the fact they are super tight when I tape them on. This isn't all of the tapes - I bring the front up and start with the bottom tapes and it feels like something wants to squeeze me tightly down below. It's not fun at all. So, what I'm thinking I will do is choose to do something nice: These Abenas aren't gonna be used well here.

In other news, since I have not posted a journal in quite sometime, I figure I can give a nice update. Work is finally starting to move in the right direction. My coworkers in the quality department are still bickering a little bit, but we seem to be moving in the direction to peace. I'm no longer investing myself in the drama cause it has dragged me down so much that I couldn't feel good about myself. I would get home and just slump down...it was not fun. I'm battling it, and will use this positivity to aim myself to a better future. I want to get back into shape after all - so many people doing this! And if I can even do that, then I could probably fit back into Abena M4s.

Going back to that, which was the entire point to this journal, which was the Abenas. I know there are a bunch of you little ones who surely want to either try more diapers, or have some on your own. If you would be willing to pay for the shipping fees, I would be glad to send some to you, whether it is a pack, a sample, etc. I'm probably not going to wear them since I have my Cushies, and will be getting myself some Tena Ultras at some point. But do keep in mind! Comment on this or send me a note and we can work out details.

My last little bit of personal stuff: I think I am going to try my hands once again at being a mommy figure. I need to start doing things not just for others, but also something to myself. If I give myself this responsibility, then I figure it could possibly help me out. I want to see how caretaking can go for me, even if it is just online. Same thing applies - just send me a note and we can talk. I wanna build up more family to give myself even more support.

ABU contacted me since I went for shipping to make it show up ASAP. Because their warehouse is not even two miles from my house they gave me free shipping. And since I was paying almost $69 for shipping they doubled my order for free. So two bags of Lavenders AND cushies!

And just a reminder but -

I know of one wonderful person who is quite the talented writer. She's been excellent at watching over not only myself but a couple others. She is open for story commissions on top of having a Patreon! Feel free to go check her out. I HIGHLY recommend it! The lovely  White66 will not disappoint you. If you want to know her dos and don'ts she has posted it right over here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7678137/

I know of one wonderful person who is quite the talented writer. She's been excellent at watching over not only myself but a couple others. She is open for story commissions on top of having a Patreon! Feel free to go check her out. I HIGHLY recommend it! The lovely  White66 will not disappoint you. If you want to know her dos and don'ts she has posted it right over here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7678137/

This is something I've been thinking about for a bit. But now, it's something that I am wanting to go ahead and do more often. I know that I have art of my characters taking care of themselves, but perhaps I need to expand out more. I know there are some of you watchers out there that are littles/cubs, and so here is an offer - every here and there if you'll be wanting art of you being taken care of by one of my characters, feel free to send me an ask! I'll do what I can to cover most of it. Here comes a catch - I will ask sometimes that you cover a part of the cost.

So, this is sort of my Christmas gift early for all of you - opening up the idea of getting art with me if you wish. Whether or not it is an adorable picture of being taken care of, or even playing with one of my characters, feel free to let me know! I already know I can damn well find an artist to do something.

There are times where we gotta do something to lend a hand. And that's what I am gonna do. One of my friends who I consider a little sister just lost her job today. She is in need to pay some bills and stay steady until she finds a new job. She has more stuff posted in her journal over here - http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7226605/ but if you could do anything, whether it is to donate some money to her, commission her, or even spread the word it would be appreciated. THank you all who help to spread the word or help her out!

This year honestly has had a lot of ups and downs for me. Sure, there was the fact that yes I moved out! That was a mixture of ups n downs for me because of the terms I moved out on. Not only that, but I've had so many fights with my family it is not even funny. I think the worst part is...just the fact I'm feeling terrible on the inside. I keep getting so torn up and my walls fly up to the point that I just do not feel happy with anything at all.

This is to say that this year hasn't been without its good things. I got promoted last month to be a part of the Quality team at my work, and ho boy that came with good perks. I finally have benefits at my job, so things are moving smoothly. Plus, I almost earn $1000 every two weeks at my job. So that means I am getting that much closer to being able to afford my transition!

...But unfortunately for me, the negative has been outweighing the good. My grandma ended up passing away two weeks ago. And it was three weeks ago my mom and I were up there visiting my great grandma. The worst part of this was that my grandma didn't even recognize my voice at all...she was so out of it. It broke me on the inside and I figured I'd be fine. The Saturday before my grandma's death though, my girlfriend gave me terrible news - that the doctors were thinking she was getting worse, and that she didn't feel ready for a relationship. I still respect this and all, but it hurts so much. I WANT to help her. I'm THERE for her, but there's nothing I can physically do to help her. I feel so useless to people lately that I've been dragged further and further down.

Now the cold and winter is right around the corner and I'm in the same spot I was last year - and the past four years. Seasonal Depression has reared its ugly head big time to the point I'm faking my emotions again. I've told people I'm close to that I don't want them doing that to me, but here I am doing it for others. I just...guess I never gained any true self worth or confidence.

And something else - don't worry a cute note. Basically. All around, it seemed that this was my chance to get down to relaxing, having a chance to be away from everything. I was flown out on a paid trip towards what seemed like a big relaxing area. There was everything you could ask for - a lake, hotel area. The biggest thing was that no one was judging you either! The workers there always had a smile and were willing to look after anyone who came along. I recognized so many people in my dream. I know  Fen. here was there, but also  babystar from FA, among many other babyfurs and adultbaby furs. I just...why'd the dream have to stop?

I’d rather not having to say this. But I have pushed myself into the corner to the point I have no other option. As of late I know motivation has been low for me which is why I have not been active. Personal reasons for all of that. Now? There is something else that has come forth that i have no other option left for - I need to move out. Because of my own stupid reasons, I’ve burnt a lot of bridges and don’t really have anything else left. I’ve hurt myself more than anything and because of it? I need to find a place. I have only a couple months to find somewhere, whether it is renting an apartment, renting a room, or somehow buying my own place to live. I won’t be around as much. You can poke me on Skype if you have it.Some of us do not like to face the reality. Kids, I am going to show you first hand proof of something that is a real problem.

2108.62 - April
1559.97 - March
1135.43 - February
1951.16 - January
Balance I would have had - 10299.39
Overall - 6755.18 blown
Balance now - $3,544.21

Look at those figures I just posted. This…is a lot of money that I have spent over the past four months. If I continue living here, I am going to ruin myself. This is why I need my reality check. I have a spending problem. I have not been thinking long term. I’m not gonna disclose the things I got. But…if there is ANYTHING I want to stress to you guys, my followers: When you get the freedom of money, do not buy into it. SAVE that money. It is something that builds up over time. After all, look at the figure I could have had if I dind’t spend any money. That is a lot. And yes there are some important figures I need to plug in there.

Rent I pay: 560 overall
Bus pass: 144 overall.
these are my personal expenditures that went toa good cause. So in the long run. 6051.18 is the amount of money that has been blown.

What do you think of me (babyfur style)

♥ = I think you're adorable

C: = I want to look after you

:3 = I want you to look after me

;] = I think you are really funny

:* = Get away, I think you have cooties

:< = You're such a cry baby

:> = We should be family members

O: = You're pretty annoying

n_n = We should play together

:] = I want to share my toys with you

^.^ = I want to hug you so much

:b = You're not cute at all

;^) = You're a stinky butt

<3 = I love you

<:^ = You make me giggle

@m@ = Stalking you~

eue = Let's meet up sometimes

<:3 = You can have my pacifier

^_^ = I'll change your diapers

=w= = Let's take a nap together

-.- = Oh grow up

Figure why not. I post some stuff related to it anyways.

It's been three long months. I figured that I could get over her. But for some reason I am lingering on the fact that I cannot get over my ex girlfriend. I know everything was fine for the longest time. The break up was natural: I thought she cheated on me because she told me that was what she thought happened. Even though her friends confirmed that she had not cheated on me, it was just that time. I figured that I could move on to someone else.

Lately I have had my eye on someone that I am interested in. But try as I might I just cannot ask her out. I've spent a lot of time with her since Fall Quarter started on September 24th. She's in my 2nd class of the day that goes on for an hour and I sit next to her. She tends to walk me to my next class as well. Even though she has been in and out of the hospital things are good between us because we are great friends.

The most recent time I spent with her was last Saturday at Aki-Con. I spent sometime bouncing between friends, and I continually ran into her. It was a perfect time and we had looked forward to hanging out together at this con. But try as I might, even there I couldn't say anything. Even with my friends around I did nothing.

Wasn't until today that I realized something. I am hanging on the fact of my ex. Despite the fact that she had carved my name into her arm after we broke up, I just have not been able to get over her. My chest hurts...I feel alone. I want this to all end. This torture has been building up and made itself too noticeable recently.

Almost two years. That's how long I almost had for the last relationship I had before it ended this morning. I'm sad since I waved my hand at some things that she said we should break up over. But this time...she had some alcohol two nights ago and possibly cheated on me. That's the worst thing that someone could do to me since it happened in my last relationship. I had to let her go, and it hurts so much. I really cared about her and this was how I was treated.