Last night I realized that I spend entirely too much time online.

I need to spend some time away from the computer. I will try to get my head wrapped around things the way they are supposed to be.

I'll Return eventually. Till then, Thanks everyone for being friends that you are.



Good Bye.

Part of me wonders...
Would making a pic on the side of a car, or personalizing a car on Forza Motorsports be considered art? Or no?

Well.. I offered free pics, but apparently no one wanted any, so I'm gonna take the offer back and likely try to figure out how much i should do for commisions...

To every guy that's said, "Sex can wait."

To every guy that's said, "You're BEAUTIFUL."

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town (or across the state) to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that REALLY would.

To every guy that did what she wanted to do.

To every guy that cried in front of her.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with MEANING.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home even though she went home with that other guy.

To every guy that would sit and WAIT for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to CUDDLE.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he CARED through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the ONE.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that WASN'T just trying to get laid.

To every guy that gave his HEART and SOUL.

To every guy who PRAYS that she is HAPPY even if you are not with her.

***Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore ... And because of this, there are not many left out there!!!

If you are a nice guy repost this with "Nice guys finish last." in great big letters

If you are a girl that thinks every guy should try to accomplish even a few of these repost this with: "To the nice guys left behind"

I was lucky enough to find a woman that loves me ^.^ Nice guys do occasionally get lucky!

My muse has decided to take a vacation.
I am out of ideas.
I don't know what to draw...

I think I do better when I am not drawing my own characters oddly enough.

So I am offering Free drawings for the first 5 people to respond to this Journal.

Please include what you want drawn and I will try it.

yay1i FINALLY got a job. its a dishwasher at Denny's but it is less than 5 min from the house and the soda is free :)

Aside from that, my school is progressing quite nicely.

Um, I'll open the floor for comments. Ask any three questions and I will answer them honestly.

:P

Well. I have had a few things happen over the last month. Things change here and there..

Joined a new group to RP at.. Crashed my car. got my school paid off.. good and bad across the board.

thought i would tell ya all how things are.

I screwed up.

Its amazing how fast one can become a monster, and the thing they hate the most.

Getting frustrated blinds you, then fills you with such malice and content, til your thoughts turn dark. I though i had a handle on my demons.

Apparently I was wrong. Yesterday I allowed myself to get frustrated and I said things I did not mean. I only told half the story and got mad at others. I know there is little chance of reconciliation at this point.

I wont drag the garbage out into the street, instead I give a general description.

I Rped in a group, and was doing fine. Then I started to screw up. I was offered help and only used part of it. this led to being ignored, and this frustrated me, which led to more mistakes, Eventually I was ignored completely. I tried to reset and start anew, but the animosity had set in and it was in Vain, I screwed up and eventually got kicked out. My leaving caused more strife and pain.. I Tried to re enter, (which now i see as desperate and hopeless) and tried everything i could think of.

Needless to say It failed.

Then I got into an argument with a friend and insulted him to a level that is unforgivable.

Thats what led to my brash Journal yesterday, which is coming down as soon as this one goes up.

I am sorry.

I screwed up.

There is nothing I can do to show my true remorse. So I will say nothing more.

Live your life, Be safe, and have fun.

I am not proud of what I have done.

Hello all you watchers... all erm.. 18 of you?

Just thought I would tell ya all that i found a place to RP that doesnt gear everything towards knocking boots!

Hopefully because of this i can actually get back into the mood for art because everyone knows Inspiration can happen if your mind is active.

Aside from that.... Not much that ya'll need to know, im still in school and I am still crazy :P

Happy new year and all that stuff.

I was looking at the Calander i realize my birth day is approaching next month.

Feb 15.

I will be 25. A quarter of a century.

Insurance rates should drop. I might be able to get loans without my parents financial info. Kewl :P

Not nearly the pizzaz of 21 or 18 but I dunno what to do.

As well, We'll see how it goes.

Well Im feeling rather odd and thinking of my car it made me curios. Answer the following questions.

1.) How many cars have you Owned(driven)?

2.) What was the oldest?

3.) What is the fastest?

4.) Whats the fastest you have ever went in a car?

5.) Stick or automatics?

6.) Longest trip?

7.) Do you prefer performance, sound, or appearance?

8.) Any Accidents?
(if yes how bad was it?)

Well, this is it.

Have fun.

I feel.. Sheepish

Truth or Dare? Okay, here's the deal........ You get to ask me *THREE QUESTIONS*, no matter how crazy, inappropriate, or just random, and I promise to answer it 100% truthfully (thats the "truth" part)

I dare you to post this on your page.

Baaa Baaa

Well, I tallied up what is gone and i have come to this

All my school books, my drawing pad, my CDs my passenger window and my appreciation for majority of the human population.

Additionaly my cat died of a stroke at the age of 2 years. I seen him born and I buried him.

Well the other day the cat was sick and this morning i wake up to find my car got broken into. :( as well.. my recent submissions is where the images are for now. ;.;

Well, I friend decided she is gonna help with the story by editing. So I have an Editor now :)

My Story "Ages Long Forgotten" is the first in stories that will be properly edited.

Well, i have discovered an interesting character in my quest to start a good story. This story is a tad epic, so it may be a while before i post the first part, cause i want to get the first portion complete before i post.

here is hoping its worth the wait.

Lets see who plays tag

. Who are you?
. Are we friends?
. When and how did we meet?
. Would you kiss me? Where?
. Give me a nickname and explain why?
. Describe me in one word!
. What was your first impression of me?
. Do you still think the same?
. What reminds you of me?
. If you could give me anything what would it be?
. How well do you know me?
. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what i say about you?
. Would you ever meet up with me?

I see everyone Making these freebie things and i wonder.. Should i Do so?

So i decided to do it..

So rather than doing the First one like everyone else.

The Third person to respond gets a part in an upcoming story.

I just spent the past WEEK reading a fanfic that for all accounts, Is likely one of the betterones i have ever read.

Now you think to yourself.. what could the subject be to keep me glued to the screen for an entire week?

Sex? Suprisingly, No.

Drugs? Um. not my thing.

Old cartoon characters? Getting closer.

A Ranger fan fic.

Gadget in Chains by Loneheart

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/582131/1/

Odd how a story about characters you remember when you were younger can effect you so much. To give you an idea of how powerful the story was. i started tuesday morning, and i have Literaly spent every waking moment when i wasnt at school to read.

Tuesday before class. Weds from abotu 7 to 4 then after school from 1 AM to 5:47. then from 2 pm to 4 again, the from 1 am to 4:45, then again from 2 to 4, then finished up tonight atabout 2:30.

Good thing, I LOVED reading it.
Bad thing, Never filled out the application i got for work >,<

Ever walk into a room and everyone quiets down and huddles closer?

Ever get assigned to a group and some one cries out in anguish when they find out your part of thier team?

Ever tried talking to some one and they frankly ignore you and refuse to talk to you?

I love going to school...

That swhy i am going to a college to get my Airframe and Powertrain certificate.

What i dont like is the High school attitude of all the students in my class... Far too many act like this is just high school and they can be as childish, or they think its like a sorority or fraternity and they can do what ever they want.

but thier train of thought is erred..

There is no football team, no cheerleaders, no sports whatso ever, No band, no extra curricular activities, no joy club, no chess club, no muscle car club, no Auto shop, no theology, No art classes, no detnetion, no principal, no toga parties, no keggers in the dorms, no hazing, no bars build specificly cause the school is there. No grudges against other schools, no Rivals, none of it. It is Not a Typical college.. It is considered a Trade school.

To give you an idea of the difficulty of the school.

40 people start a class..

5 will time out in the first 3 weeks.
And at the end of each 5 week block, 2 quit.
There is 17 blocks. people will fail classes.
out of the Maybe Original 40.. 6 will finish the school.. And out of those 6. 1 will go on to take the A&P tests.

1 out of 40.

The college campus is so small, in less than 10 minutes i could run around the perimeter at least 2 times, if not more.

Additionaly, due to its relations with the FAA, they have a Zero tolerance on drug and alcohol abuse.

Come into class drunk? Your out, no returning.
Get High? Your gone.
Assault another student? Yer outta here.
When you take the Final test to get your A&P certificiate, you take a drug test.. of those that take it about 1 out of 20 come back Hot for drugs.

SO, I look at this and take my schooling rather seriosly, cause frankly when you screw up on an airplane, People Die.

You screw up on putting a tire on, lets say a car, the car 'Might' roll or the car might just go to the side of the road.

You screw up putting a tire on a 747 the aircraft noses down breaks apart and you KILL 200-500 people.

You squeak by and put a body panel on a car with bailing wire, its okay,

Do the same to an aircraft and the aircraft is likely to be uncontrollable.

So when i work on an aircraft I am extremely focused. I pay attention to details. But what scares me is the lazy attitude of my class mates. I know that I can do the job, but what about them? I might do the job perfectly and they screw it up and kill people.

Looking at those facts, you realize WHY I take the school seriosly. You see why i get frustrated... But it only aggrivates the matter further when people decide to take the high school attitude of not liking some one cause they are weird, even tho they might know alot more about the subject than them.

My class mates groan everytime i start to say something. My class mates tease me non stop about having worked on a UH-60 Blackhawk Helicopter. they complain when they have to work with me. Because they have yet to grow up. I tire after Years of everyone complaing i tend to get annoyed.

I know i have problems, but Dammit, so does everyone else.

But Thats school.. There is other things that frustrate me.

I have a drawing sitting in my bag that was started to color in.. but I dont have the heart to finish coloring it in... Not yet. I dont know if I will.

I am starting to grow exausted of furries. Everytime i try to have an RP it seems either they dont want to play or they suddenly have to have thier Kidney removed. Or they are busy they say, or forgot, or simply dont feel in the mood for an RP, Despite commenting about they are busy with RPs. Or saying they dont have any then not wanting to join some. or perhaps for some reason.

That, and As i Have saide before, I am tired of Hi yiff me furs, Its nice having yiffs occasionaly, but i like my yiffs with a story behind it, AT LEAST an attempt. Not "Okay we meet in a forest and then i yiff you."

Another thing i crave is Originality. I cant count the number of times some one wants me to play Carmelita, Krystal, Minerva, Lola, or a Number of other cartoon characters, or even when there are ones who use the name of a famos fur as thier own yiff toy. Like Poor Zig Zag. I like Rping with peoples original Characters. ones that are a part of them, not a throw away character that they put absolutly NO effort into.

Also on the list is plot lines. Having Rps Preplanned out is ANNOYING as all hell. To me there is NO reason to RP if you already have an idea of what you want done, "Well we go to the castle, I save the princess.. aaannnd you yiff the dragon into submission while I and the princess rule over the land in bondage gear".

Be Spontanuos for petes sake. Its not that hard to just RP a General idea. The bst RPs are the ones that arent orchestrated from start to finish. If i wanted that, I would have joined broadway, Not IRC.

I'll Close this Mega Rant with these thoughts.

Grow the F*&^ Up. = If you dont like some one, TELL THEM! And tell them WHY! You might find out if you look past that that the person is pretty cool.. but has quirks.

Be honest with others and yourself. = If you go about telling yourself your something your not, it might not always be good for you. Especialy if you do it too much. I personaly have aproblem about bragging that i have forgotten more than most learn, but thats because A.) its true and B.) I am trying too damned hard to impress everyone ((to no avail i eventualy realize, sitting outside in the cold.))

Set Priorities. = right now I have SEVERAL problems with RL, so my Time Online seems rushed and not very effective for me. But there are reasons, i wont Bore you any more with why, but lets say its enough to cause a ton of headaches and frustrations.

Relax = This weekend I am going to try and relax. So that I dont go completely Insane. I will have a few tense moments but they will pass.

Sorry to bore everyone with my tome of ranting, but I had to get it off my chest.

maybe when I finish school and get settled into my job next OCT alot of these problems would have solved themselves.

See ya At the Looney Bin

Thought I would drop by and leave a few updates.

Last weekend i went to my parents wedding (biker weddings are interesting.)

Been learning electricity in class so not alot of time to doodle and color in drawings and write stories, but I am having fun crunching numbers :)

Still looking for a job so when i am not exausted i can try to catch up on my story.. mebbe..

Well.. Thats all for now :)

Dont you hate it when you try to talk to some one they decide rather than listen they go away? Annoying as Hell aint it?

As well. I feel that way alot of times, so im pondering upon pondering... Mebbe instead of trying to wedge myself into conversations I should try what the US did a few years ago. Like before world War 2. Mind my own buisness. Do what makes me happy and dont worry about anyone else unless they want to talk to me.

Too many times i have noticed that I am the one that starts the conversations. I am the one that sends the first messages. I am the one that is doing all the planning and all the work.

Fuck it.

Im going to just Curl up and keep to myself. You want to talk to me. Talk to me. If you dont, dont feel Pissy when we dont talk. Everone that knows me can get ahold of me. I shouldnt have to talk to everyone to get conversations started. If I wanted to be ignored I could go back home and sit on my ass.

I am Eager for some Damned good RPs. But I cant find any cause they are all either about yiff, or something else I am not interested in. I cant get any decent RPs cause I have to start all of them and its Tiring being the one to start all the fun.

I've had it.

If I wanted to start all the RPs i would stick to writing my stories. Since it seems that way. I think I will.

By the way, if your wondering what spurred this, i tried talking to a friend earlier and they said they went afk and never bothered telling me they returned.. for a fucking Hour. Pleasant to know that your important enough to the to be forgotten huh?

.|..

I apologize if this seems Emo but Dammit. Im working on going to school and i cant fucking relax the way i want cause no one is willing to listen to me without complaining or making up fake ass excuses so they can ignore me.

*watches wagon roll by.. So he grabs on and is dragged away*

My turn huh?


1. What is your character's name?

Psychofrog Pondwater

2. What kind of character is it (furry, anime, etc) and any particular race?

African Jungle frog.

3. What is the first thing your character would think of when he/she first wakes up?

"Crap! My reality check bounced!"


4. Your character's favorite outfit would be?

Black jeans, DBZ shirt and leather jacket when its cool.. No shoes, he can climb walls, he wears slip on boots when its too cold.

5. When your character looks into a mirror, what's the first thing they would notice?

"Hmm, im looking a tad green... Wait. nevermind, I am green."

6. Does your character have the same tastes in food as you?

Nope, Flies are NOT in the player's diet.

7. How is your character similar to you?

We see no one as an enemy unless there is a good reason, everyone else is a friend that doesnt know they are yet :P

8. How is he/she different?

Well, for one he climb any surface. But on the other part is he is more grown up than me. He also has a Scottish claymore.

9. If your character could speak, would they have the same voice as you?

Yeah.

10. If you were to suddenly become your character, what do you think would be the first thing you would do as them?

Probably start climbing things and swimming more.

11. Is there something about your character that you don't like how others think of them?
What?

Yes.

THe fact that he is a frog. You would be suprised how many furs really dont get nearly as affectionate with me when i play as a frog then if i play as say a Rotwieller.

Go fig.


12. What advantages does your character have over you?

Stronger, more agile, able to defend himself.. that and he can swim like its walking.

13. What disadvantages?

Being a frog. Not alot of furs really think outside the mammalian and scaley shells they live in :/

14. Do you have any secrets relating to your character that only you know?

Yes, the reason he exists. the pains he suffered.

15. Do you have any secret drawings only you know about?

Not yet.

16. Do you have any plans for your character or are you working on something big relating to him/her?

Not really. He is me and I am Him.

17. What misconception(s), if any, do people have about your character?

That he is far too relaxed and enjoys annoying everone. In Truth he is only looking for what other get all to easily. Like I said, frogs tend to get a cold shoulder cause everyone assumes he is sticky and slimey :((

18. If you could have just ONE characteristic from your character, what would it be?

Hmmm.. From a frog.. Im stuck between a 3 ft long tounge and the ability to climb walls. Swimming is easy.

19. Have you made any characters that go along with yours, based on real-life people, that have the same relationship with your character as you with the real-life person?

Not exaclty. I made a character that was an exact perdiction of my girlfriend, 10 years before i met her *fears*

20. Have you written any stories about your character?

Yes, About him changing.. As soon as i write it (for the 4th damned time. The whole thing is memorized.))

21. How has your character changed since his/her first creation?

Yeah, he has relaxed his views, He his more of a nutjob now instead of a introverted teen.

22. Give us a one-liner from him/her.

Duct tape! I can rule the world With Duct tape, two by fours, and the hopes and wishes of all the kittens!

Well this sucks. I already lost my job. :( Well. here i am again stuck at home looking for a job while my debts continue to grow.

As well.

I'll live.

I need an Avatar.. Buuut I dun know how to do it.. Anyone got any suggestions of how to make one? Thanks Luv ya all!