Post a comment here and I will try and answer the following things about you:

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

With my new job there's alot for me to do with my hands. Not only am I required to stay at the top of my game with my knowledge of student loans and how to abate the horror that is repayment for my borrowers I must navigate the program that my department uses for notation on accounts, trust me that's no small feat. Even when the call volume does slack they give us worksheets to bone up on our knowledge. So really there's not time for me to do anything. Then I get home and melt into a puddle of wanting to do nothing but veg. This is why TV was created so those who just came home from work can be entertained without having to use their brains too much. It's been two months I hope it gets better to the point where I can at least draw at night, but there's always the weekend if I focus. So no decent new art lately, sorry guys.

Not the most glamorous job in the world but it pays the bills. I am now on day two of my training to be a federal loan servicer or customer service for PHEAA. Hopefully everything goes well, no problems arise and I like my job because this could really turn things around for us. However being a customer service employee other then possibly writing down how I helped I don't have much to do with my hands so I may draw. I'm not sure how this will effect things honestly, we'll see.

So today is international Drawing Day, which means at some point, hopefully not too late I will be uploading something for today, damned skippy. Glad to have air in my lungs, fingers that work, eyes that see, a heart that yearns and a head that imagines today :D

Stupidest question of all time I swear, invariably when someone asks, it's either their birthday, a mutual friend's birthday, an anniversary, or... a holiday that has no real significance religiously or historically but you can do something normally illegal on that day.

So no guessing! It's my birthday. Today I turn 29 and move very firmly into the end of my 20s. I might have been doing that before but I refused to acknowledge it, 30 feels old. But you know what they say the 20s are the new teens and the 30s are the new twenties. Other then my body hurting way more then it ever did as a teenager, I don't feel 29, so we'll go with that. If anyone wants to gift art or anything...it will be loved and commented on! :P

I write this from my roommate's laptop which is stealing internet from some neighbor with an unprotected wifi connection. He is rather gleeful that his computer can still connect, which makes him slow if not downright impossible to get to do anything to rectify the situation. Again a case of we pay him to pay the bills and he doesn't, wish there was a board for this. Roommates are being jackasses board ~~:3 Anyway the female roomie gets paid friday and hopefully it'll be fixed then. In the meantime I've been depressed without contact with people or prolific with art in turns, so we'll see how this ends. Wish me good luck!

Edit: Well the internet came back at 6 yesterday, good thing too since the roommate nearly had his wife's head on Saturday when she said there wasn't enough money to cover the bill. Why did she not have enough money to cover the bill, she had gotten paid just the day before yes? Not entirely sure but we speculate it was caused by them going to the grocery store the night before, when she had no money and overdrafting their account into oblivion. Either that or all those little things she just HAS to have, she likes to shop alot, but she never seems to realize that there's a limit to her money. If it's not downright laziness it's carelessness with these two, they simply don't care about anything other then themselves. So we think John pulled from his trustfund or asked his mother for cash and that's how we have it. I don't care anymore, if I sit here and worry over them and their methods I will drive myself insane. And I'm starting to think I should use my livejournal instead of randomly ranting to watchers ~~:3

So my boyfriend handed 90 bucks to our roommate for electricity say a week ago. Well now I find out he got a notice for the electricity last Friday, but he has yet to pay it, although we paid him. So by his calculations we may get it cut tomorrow. Guess what he spent the money on? Christmas presents and gas for his car. And his wife spent his Christmas money that was to go toward bills on one bill that was behind...direct tv. Yes folks, we may not have electricity because she paid the cable bill. I hate it living here with these two sloppy, filthy, selfish, egotistical, immature, tantrum throwing, unable to communicate well assholes. It's weird to say that about folks that took us in when we were in danger of living on the streets but it's true

It's been a few days so those that wanted to see it saw it, so time to take that long ass rant off the frontpage. For those that figure out I dewatched them and wonder why, it wasn't personal, I was house cleaning. Either my tastes have changed and I'm not a fan of your art anymore, or you're a friend I don't get the chance to speak to and you don't post any art anyway so seems rather silly to keep you on my watchlist. <3

How many times have I seen it now?
"I'm taking commissions! Put your name here, what you want here, and refs here." Rarely do I see anything even suggesting that the artist will take descriptions, in fact, I've seen quite a few say no descriptions or only little ones, but here's the funny thing even the people who will do a character sheet want refs. I'm wondering personally if you want a character sheet to act as your ref how are you to give refs? I've heard some folks say they will just use existing pictures of your character, but without refs...how can there be!? It's a loop one that has me frustrated. Guess I'll just make my own.

And another thing since I've opened this can of worms...this...is...not...MYSPACE! I admit to a touch of curiosity about the people I watch, what makes them so awesome to be able to do such pretty pictures, what goes on in their heads? But say one update about their personal life a month would be enough even once a week, not one every few days unless they are deathly ill and then of course I would want to know. I'm tired of these people who spill out this spew of english language that results in "Ate breakfast...it was gewd." a few times a day, that's twitter bullshit and there's a really good reason I never signed up for it. Twitter actually would be worse, it'd drive me insane. I'm interested in a person's life overall but the nitty gritty details of their life hold no sway over my interests at all. The people who do this aren't nearly as interesting or engaging as the flood of self important journals would lead one to believe, no one cares about the technicolor puke you tossed last night.

Another thing is that folks need to stop with the goddamned real life pictures! I know people have scanners they use them! So why are they taking pictures of small-enough-to-fit-into-a-scanner pieces when they could just scan it. And then they don't even close up on the work but include themselves in the picture. This just comes across as egotistical. No honey not everyone wishes to see you next to something that may look like a badge but is too distant to see because you were more focused on yourself and not the art. However to contrast this, I like seeing the occasional, as in once a year picture of the artists, it's nice to know who to gush or glomp or heck who I want to be normal and just compliment when I go to cons. Not that I've gone to one since '04. But one could go on to say that's my fault.

That brings me up to the final thing that has gotten my goat lately...well not really pissed off, or even upset me, it's more dismay, a touch sadness for the world mixed with a little frustration or anger. The sheer number in the last three months of "I'm in financial trouble, help!" journals. Everyone's in financial trouble, and either asking for donations(leech)or begging for commissions(least your willing to work for it) most of the people on my watch list are doing the second, or if they do ask for donations it's something like Shizuki does, she draws on ustream, you can watch, if you have a few, chip in, which is not a bad idea at all. I look at these journals and not only am I dismayed by the amount but by how often the few slots a person will open for commissions will go half filled. Not to mention almost every friend I have, I talk to and they are looking for a job and having shit luck. So many have had to move back in with parents, or take on roommates that I'm sure they wouldn't even consider if they didn't come with a job. And to be perfectly honest, I envy them.

I'm in a shit place right now, I live in a motel 6, I have fibromyalsia, twice as much weight on my body then I should have, no job and my boyfriend is supporting me and our cat. The money my boyfriend and I borrowed from his mother is fast disappearing due to the motel living, and my boyfriend works at McDonald's. I can draw but a lack of a scanner is keeping me from showing that off and even when I did have one I was so self conscience I scanned perhaps a handful of things in. Not to mention, with so many awesome artists' ques going unfilled, I don't know how I could compete. To top it off, my mother won't speak to me, my dad's never helped me out of a jam, and my grandmother's got her own problems, plus a lack of friends and sometimes it feels like I'm up shit creek without a paddle.

In the end though, it's my own fault, I could have used the last three years I've been jobless to work on skills and look for a job, or make and promote my own art but I kinda sat like a vegetable in front of the computer drowning my sorrows which were nothing compared to now in Furcadia, DA, FA, and Second Life. I'll own up to my problems, and any problems that others might have had that also lead to me and my boyfriend being where we are, well that's up to them to see, come to terms with and dispose of.

I sometimes worry about my ability to keep people I care for close to me, or that I retain the good memories of our time together long after they are gone and wish for the old days. Sometimes I get angry at people's shyness that keeps them from speaking or treating me like a normal person. Sometimes I get angry at my own inability to get past my shyness and make good friends. I get angry because one person tells me I am rude when I don't know where the pause is for me to input my opinion or advice so I stay silent when I wish to speak, while another doesn't pause for five seconds making it so that I have to run over their speaking with my own voice to get a word in edgewise.

I've always been a slow learner, having to take the difficult path, having to do it on my own, but at least when I do learn, I learn it well. I just sometimes wish I learned faster then I do. In the end, I'll get through this, I'll do what I have to to survive and I won't give up on my dreams, now if I could just get to a place where every little thing didn't irritate me and drive me crazy! :P