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I don’t know anymore.
Posted 6 years agoI just don’t know. I’m alone. I’m always alone. I have myself, and I’m all right most of the time, but... I found someone special. Truly special. And falling in love with her pushed her away. So far away. She made me feel like she loved me too, cared and admired and respected me for all I was.
And now I’m lucky if I get three words out of her.
Life is awful for that. To bring you someone so unique and beautiful and then just... have her fade away from you. Sharp, hard endings I can handle. Fades are... disgusting. They make me sick, quite literally, physically.
I’m sick. I’m alone. I’m so very sad. I’m sorry I’m shouting this to the world and making it all sadder. I should keep to myself.
I should always keep to myself. All that ever happens is I get hurt. I fly so high and then just crash. I’m nice, sure. But I’m never enough for anyone I love.
Never enough.
And now I’m lucky if I get three words out of her.
Life is awful for that. To bring you someone so unique and beautiful and then just... have her fade away from you. Sharp, hard endings I can handle. Fades are... disgusting. They make me sick, quite literally, physically.
I’m sick. I’m alone. I’m so very sad. I’m sorry I’m shouting this to the world and making it all sadder. I should keep to myself.
I should always keep to myself. All that ever happens is I get hurt. I fly so high and then just crash. I’m nice, sure. But I’m never enough for anyone I love.
Never enough.
I’m still here.
Posted 7 years agoHey folks.
Listen, I’ve made an important decision about my life that I announced on F-List and a couple other spots, but not here. I’ve decided Adam is not going to remain a character in role play anymore. He’s me. He’s always been me. Pretty much from moment one, Adam was just the human being typing these words now, but expressed online in a fuzzier format.
This means I’m working to just be myself, as true as can be, all the time, in my everyday life. No more hiding. No more playing.
So, if you know me, find me. I’m here.
I’m Adam.
Hello.
Listen, I’ve made an important decision about my life that I announced on F-List and a couple other spots, but not here. I’ve decided Adam is not going to remain a character in role play anymore. He’s me. He’s always been me. Pretty much from moment one, Adam was just the human being typing these words now, but expressed online in a fuzzier format.
This means I’m working to just be myself, as true as can be, all the time, in my everyday life. No more hiding. No more playing.
So, if you know me, find me. I’m here.
I’m Adam.
Hello.
Hey Hey Snow Day
Posted 8 years agoEnjoy yourselves this holiday season. Love y'all.
Help Wanted: Vore RPG Game
Posted 8 years agoYears ago when I started in the vore world, I lamented that there were no vore-themed games, or at least none that catered to my own preferences. I'm pretty much 100% pred, and most games cater to the preyish among us - you try to get eaten, or run away from predators trying to eat you. But there are very few that focus on the pred as the protagonist, at least in my view. I've downloaded a few, though. The point is, when I started out, I tried to make a vorey video game with a pred as the main character. It didn't come to fruition years ago.
BUT! My buddy Pandaman101 is eager to get one going with me. I'm sort of creatively leading, he's doing programming via RPGMaker. But we could use some help! Artists and programmers especially. Anyone who can draw pixel sprites is very welcome indeed!
PLEASE let me know!!
BUT! My buddy Pandaman101 is eager to get one going with me. I'm sort of creatively leading, he's doing programming via RPGMaker. But we could use some help! Artists and programmers especially. Anyone who can draw pixel sprites is very welcome indeed!
PLEASE let me know!!
Anyone coming to MFF?
Posted 8 years agoJust curious. Might be interested in hanging out if you are. Let me know here or via note.
Pred couples
Posted 8 years agoVorey stuff discussion.
I like the idea of two preds as a couple. It's kind of ideal, I think. It's like going out for your favorite restaurant together. I think way too many people play off pred characters as solitary - too hungry to keep a partner since they keep eating them all. Or there are pred-prey couples, which... how? Unless you keep letting your partner out, or they reform, you'll spend most of the relationship with one inside the other. But with two preds, you can stuff each other silly, then snuggle to your heart's content afterwards. Bloat-snuggles. Or other things. >w>;
What do you guys think?
I like the idea of two preds as a couple. It's kind of ideal, I think. It's like going out for your favorite restaurant together. I think way too many people play off pred characters as solitary - too hungry to keep a partner since they keep eating them all. Or there are pred-prey couples, which... how? Unless you keep letting your partner out, or they reform, you'll spend most of the relationship with one inside the other. But with two preds, you can stuff each other silly, then snuggle to your heart's content afterwards. Bloat-snuggles. Or other things. >w>;
What do you guys think?
Home
Posted 9 years ago...is where your heart is.
So my real home's in my chest.
...gross.
So my real home's in my chest.
...gross.
Furry Murrmas
Posted 9 years agoMurphy Blerfders.
And such.
And such.
In life there are no do-overs
Posted 9 years ago...but in games there are. And because I've got plenty of regrets in real life, I went back and finished Undertale, True Pacifist ending. Saved everyone. Chose to live with goatmom at the end.
I needed that.
I needed that.
Fucking goats...
Posted 9 years agoSo, I just found out you COULD spare Goatmom.
....I'm... I'm pretty livid right now.
....I'm... I'm pretty livid right now.
Find a hole and hide in it.
Posted 9 years agoIf you think the likes of us will be welcome in the coming American age, think again, and hard.
*sigh*
Posted 9 years agoSometimes, when I'm at my most alone, pictures of beautiful women, beautiful furry gals, scaly gals, whatever.... they make me sad. Because I'm not worth them? Not sure. But there is that sense of inadequacy, some sort of loss, some sort of amplification of my loneliness. When it's drawings I look at, there's something sadder layered in - these beautiful people will never exist. I try not to wallow in it, though.
Hurr.
Posted 9 years agoStill here. Just sayin'.
Snow?
Posted 10 years agoFURRY MURRMAS! BURR FURRBLE FLERBLE MERF!
Back in a bit
Posted 10 years agoThis is a bit of a tumultuous time in my life. That's why I haven't been around. I'm trying to figure out my new paradigm. When I have, you'll see me back.
Cleaned up my watch list.
Posted 10 years agoHey guys.
I went through my whole watch list and un-watched a good amount of people. If I un-watched you, it's probably because of one of the following reasons:
1. I didn't recognize your artwork and forgot if we knew each other.
2. You stopped posting over a year ago.
3. I watched you because of one or two pieces you did, but the rest of your art is nothing like those.
I get sooooo many submissions in my inbox that it takes forever to sift through them all, so I thought this might help. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Let me know if I forgot who you are and I can re-watch you again.
I went through my whole watch list and un-watched a good amount of people. If I un-watched you, it's probably because of one of the following reasons:
1. I didn't recognize your artwork and forgot if we knew each other.
2. You stopped posting over a year ago.
3. I watched you because of one or two pieces you did, but the rest of your art is nothing like those.
I get sooooo many submissions in my inbox that it takes forever to sift through them all, so I thought this might help. I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Let me know if I forgot who you are and I can re-watch you again.
Some things I wonder about.
Posted 10 years agoWhat is an "adopt?" So the artist came up with a cute character and you pay them to... what? Own the character? How does that make any sense? I mean, odds are if you're paying to own a character you can't draw it yourself, right? So to get more art of that character you're going to buy more art... probably from the same artist who created the character in the first place. Where does this make any sense?
Why are so many furs drowning in my submission stream? Is there some sort of drowning meme going around? Does someone find it kinky, like auto-erotic asphyxiation or something?
Do people who buy a lot of art of their own character just have that much money lying around, or are they friends with artists?
Am I aging out of the furry community? Are you guys all like, college students or even in high school now?
Does anyone else ever get the feeling that even though their own baggage might not be that bad, it's still the right combination of sad and strange to make you genuinely damaged goods?
Do people even read journals anymore?
Why are so many furs drowning in my submission stream? Is there some sort of drowning meme going around? Does someone find it kinky, like auto-erotic asphyxiation or something?
Do people who buy a lot of art of their own character just have that much money lying around, or are they friends with artists?
Am I aging out of the furry community? Are you guys all like, college students or even in high school now?
Does anyone else ever get the feeling that even though their own baggage might not be that bad, it's still the right combination of sad and strange to make you genuinely damaged goods?
Do people even read journals anymore?
D'Artagnan, motherfucker!
Posted 11 years agoThe D is silent, hillbilly.
Just a dream
Posted 11 years agoToday I chose to keep sleeping, because in the dream I was having, you had told me you'd give me a chance.
In the dream I was having, we'd kept in touch. Your family and friends were throwing a party for your big sister - a big sister you don't have, I know. And I was there, asking everyone how you were, and what you were up to.
I could hear my phone ringing. I rolled over and ignored it. This happened three times.
I remembered visiting you in the past, and you had been friendly, and open, but just so busy that I had no time to tell you my feelings. And when I had, you told me you would think about getting back together with me.
Your family asked me what it was about you that kept me coming back. The only answer I had was that you simply filled every emptiness I had, that I could imagine no other as my partner in life.
In this whole dream, you weren't really there. I was remembering you, and talking of you, and thinking of you.
Today I chose to keep sleeping, because there was a chance you might show up in my dream, and tell me, yes, we could be together again.
In the dream I was having, we'd kept in touch. Your family and friends were throwing a party for your big sister - a big sister you don't have, I know. And I was there, asking everyone how you were, and what you were up to.
I could hear my phone ringing. I rolled over and ignored it. This happened three times.
I remembered visiting you in the past, and you had been friendly, and open, but just so busy that I had no time to tell you my feelings. And when I had, you told me you would think about getting back together with me.
Your family asked me what it was about you that kept me coming back. The only answer I had was that you simply filled every emptiness I had, that I could imagine no other as my partner in life.
In this whole dream, you weren't really there. I was remembering you, and talking of you, and thinking of you.
Today I chose to keep sleeping, because there was a chance you might show up in my dream, and tell me, yes, we could be together again.
Happy Neu Yeur
Posted 11 years agoAgain!
Have lots of fun and get ready for those resolutions! Mine is to eat more people. >:9
Just kidding! I eat all I want already. ;3
Have lots of fun and get ready for those resolutions! Mine is to eat more people. >:9
Just kidding! I eat all I want already. ;3
MFF & Holidays
Posted 11 years agoSo I heard what happened at Midwest FurFest. I'm glad nobody got hurt. And I saw something that made me a little happy. Apparently some news anchors reporting the incident didn't know what furries are, and when they found out, they just started laughing and couldn't go on with the news segment. Instead of a bunch of anti-furry statements in the comments section of this video, a lot of people spoke up essentially saying, "Um, a lot of people are placed in a life-threatening situation and these guys laugh at them? Immature."
Speaking of, I shoulda reached out and asked if anyone I knew was coming to town. Ah well. Next time.
If I don't post before then, Happy Holidays to you all!
Speaking of, I shoulda reached out and asked if anyone I knew was coming to town. Ah well. Next time.
If I don't post before then, Happy Holidays to you all!
Herpy Herlerwern!
Posted 11 years agoTer erl mer frernds, frerm ther Berb!
Tenth Borbday
Posted 11 years agoFriday was my tenth Borbday!
On the day of August 29th, 2004 the identity of "Adamant Borb" was born. That was when I first opened a chat account (in this case, MSN) with that name.
And Friday was August 29th, 2014. That makes ten years of Borbage on the Internet. That's kind of scary.
On the day of August 29th, 2004 the identity of "Adamant Borb" was born. That was when I first opened a chat account (in this case, MSN) with that name.
And Friday was August 29th, 2014. That makes ten years of Borbage on the Internet. That's kind of scary.
Calling my musical friends!
Posted 11 years agoCan you answer "yes" to all the following questions?
1. Do you play/want to play any of the following musical instruments IRL: guitar, keyboard, drums?
2. Do you live in the continental United States or Canada?
3. Do you often fantasize about playing in a band?
4. Are you unafraid of performing in front of people?
5. Do you mind getting dressed up as your character/fursona? (Note: This does NOT mean in a fursuit.)
If you answered "yes" to all of the above, send me a note! :D
1. Do you play/want to play any of the following musical instruments IRL: guitar, keyboard, drums?
2. Do you live in the continental United States or Canada?
3. Do you often fantasize about playing in a band?
4. Are you unafraid of performing in front of people?
5. Do you mind getting dressed up as your character/fursona? (Note: This does NOT mean in a fursuit.)
If you answered "yes" to all of the above, send me a note! :D
Furry music
Posted 11 years agoHey guys.
Can you think of any songs that have to do with animals? I'm talking about mainstream-ish, sing-able rock songs. No kids' songs, no folk songs. Stuff you could see a band play at a concert.
Also, while we're at it, do you know of any songs that have made a splash in the furry world? Only one I can think of is "Caramelldansen," really. I'll create a list here and update this journal as people comment.
Thanks!
Songs with Animals:
"A Horse with No Name" by America
"And Your Bird Can Sing" by the Beatles
"Animal Bar" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Bad Horse Chorus" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
"Bee of the Bird of the Moth" by They Might Be Giants
"Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants
"Birds Fly" by They Might Be Giants
"Blackbird" by the Beatles
"Cobrastyle" by Teddybears
"Comfort Eagle" by Cake
"Cowtown" by They Might Be Giants
"Deer Dance" by System of a Down
"Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men
"Doctor Worm" by They Might Be Giants
"Dog Eat Dog" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Doginabag" by the Fratellis
"Dogs Like Socks" by Psychostick
"Fallen Horses" by Smashmouth
"Fireflies" by Owl City
"Fly Like an Eagle" by Steve Miller Band
"Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix
"Free as a Bird" by the Beatles
"Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult
"Harvey the Wonder Hamster" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Heart of a Dragon" by Dragonforce
"Hey Bulldog" by the Beatles
"House of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance
"Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran
"I Am the Walrus" by the Beatles
"I Want a New Duck" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Killer Bees" by Robbers on High Street
"Leave My Kitten Alone" by the Beatles
"Look What The Cat Dragged In" by Poison
"Mammal" by They Might Be Giants
"Mink Car" by They Might Be Giants
"Octopus's Garden" by the Beatles
"Piggies" by the Beatles
"Polkamon" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Rocky Raccoon" by the Beatles
"Salty Dog" by Flogging Molly
"Schweine" by Glukoza
"Sheep Go to Heaven" by Cake
"She Wolf (Falling to Pieces)" by David Guetta ft. Sia
"She-Wolf" by Megadeth
"Slow Cheetah" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Snail Shell" by They Might Be Giants
"Sometimes I Don't Mind" by the Suicide Machines
"Spider" by They Might Be Giants
"Spiders" by System of a Down
"Spiderwebs" by No Doubt
"Tears of the Dragon" by Bruce Dickinson
"The Bear Song" by Green Jellÿ
"The Crow & The Butterfly" by Shinedown
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens
"The Monkey Time" by Major Lance
"Three Little Pigs" by Green Jellÿ
"Thunderbird" by They Might Be Giants
"True Men Don't Kill Coyotes" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Weasel Stomping Day" by Weird Al Yankovic
"White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
"Wolf" by Iced Earth
"Yertle the Turtle" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Youth Culture Killed My Dog" by They Might Be Giants
Furry Fandom Songs:
"Born This Way" by Lady GaGa
"Caramelldansen" by Caramell
"The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)" by Ylvis
Can you think of any songs that have to do with animals? I'm talking about mainstream-ish, sing-able rock songs. No kids' songs, no folk songs. Stuff you could see a band play at a concert.
Also, while we're at it, do you know of any songs that have made a splash in the furry world? Only one I can think of is "Caramelldansen," really. I'll create a list here and update this journal as people comment.
Thanks!
Songs with Animals:
"A Horse with No Name" by America
"And Your Bird Can Sing" by the Beatles
"Animal Bar" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Bad Horse Chorus" from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
"Bee of the Bird of the Moth" by They Might Be Giants
"Birdhouse in Your Soul" by They Might Be Giants
"Birds Fly" by They Might Be Giants
"Blackbird" by the Beatles
"Cobrastyle" by Teddybears
"Comfort Eagle" by Cake
"Cowtown" by They Might Be Giants
"Deer Dance" by System of a Down
"Dirty Paws" by Of Monsters and Men
"Doctor Worm" by They Might Be Giants
"Dog Eat Dog" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Doginabag" by the Fratellis
"Dogs Like Socks" by Psychostick
"Fallen Horses" by Smashmouth
"Fireflies" by Owl City
"Fly Like an Eagle" by Steve Miller Band
"Foxy Lady" by Jimi Hendrix
"Free as a Bird" by the Beatles
"Godzilla" by Blue Oyster Cult
"Harvey the Wonder Hamster" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Heart of a Dragon" by Dragonforce
"Hey Bulldog" by the Beatles
"House of Wolves" by My Chemical Romance
"Hungry Like the Wolf" by Duran Duran
"I Am the Walrus" by the Beatles
"I Want a New Duck" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Killer Bees" by Robbers on High Street
"Leave My Kitten Alone" by the Beatles
"Look What The Cat Dragged In" by Poison
"Mammal" by They Might Be Giants
"Mink Car" by They Might Be Giants
"Octopus's Garden" by the Beatles
"Piggies" by the Beatles
"Polkamon" by Weird Al Yankovic
"Rocky Raccoon" by the Beatles
"Salty Dog" by Flogging Molly
"Schweine" by Glukoza
"Sheep Go to Heaven" by Cake
"She Wolf (Falling to Pieces)" by David Guetta ft. Sia
"She-Wolf" by Megadeth
"Slow Cheetah" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Snail Shell" by They Might Be Giants
"Sometimes I Don't Mind" by the Suicide Machines
"Spider" by They Might Be Giants
"Spiders" by System of a Down
"Spiderwebs" by No Doubt
"Tears of the Dragon" by Bruce Dickinson
"The Bear Song" by Green Jellÿ
"The Crow & The Butterfly" by Shinedown
"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" by the Tokens
"The Monkey Time" by Major Lance
"Three Little Pigs" by Green Jellÿ
"Thunderbird" by They Might Be Giants
"True Men Don't Kill Coyotes" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Weasel Stomping Day" by Weird Al Yankovic
"White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane
"Wolf" by Iced Earth
"Yertle the Turtle" by Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Youth Culture Killed My Dog" by They Might Be Giants
Furry Fandom Songs:
"Born This Way" by Lady GaGa
"Caramelldansen" by Caramell
"The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)" by Ylvis
