FCN was pretty EPIC! saw just about everyone I've been worried sick for the last 2 years and had a totally awesome con! I award it as a backwards con, because I went there exhausted and left feeling amazing! Thank to all my friends who made it as awesome as I could've hoped!

Does anyone know WHY they changed the dates to June this year? They fucked me over so now i cant go.

to all both of you that read this or care, i'll be there starting wednesday, so ill be in my parachute pants or likely something blue or orange.

To my defense, I don't post journals like : hippiemouse:

So If anyone is reading his journals and is wondering what's actually going on
or to hear my side of the story, please just ask. I'll be happy to explain anything.

I don't like my friends bitching about me and how much they think i make their life suck because I wont be their boyfriend behind my back.

Alright....
so mouse and i seem to be alright and back on speaking terms.

hunky dory.



*sigh*

"Addik lied to me when he called me his boyfriend." Qoth the mouse.
IF I may add my side of the story....

To be quite honest I have a hard time NOT agreeing with whatever anyone wants me too when I have an emotional attachment to them. ESPECIALLY when they give me the helpless puppy-dog eyes Hippiemouse did. I said I loved him, yes. But I also love sailing and taking dogs for walks.
Same goes for the BF thing. As far as I'm concerned, Its always been a one way street in that reguards. otherwise, All in his head.

For those that know me, and my bad communication habits on the web, You know I hate FA and don't post here often (fuck you, Fender and Dragoneer) With that said, please listent to my side.

Hippiemouse has been hopelessly in love with me since the start, since I saw him that lonely, cold night almost a year ago when I woulda had to sleep in my car. I had no where to go after : anari and I broke up. I came to him because he was an old friend with a warm heart and a couch for night or 3. Well, he welcomed me, and fell in love because I was the first thing with nuts that gave him the time of day and didn't want to screw him over. I still don't. I still care about the guy. But in the same way I always have, He formed this delusion into a relationship built on guilting me into having him be emotionally dependant on me to even function. Not to mention using my fear of being homeless against me, if i don't love him, i can find anther place of residence. That sort of thing.
I have a heart, and I do feel for his loss, but when I'm guilted into something, that's the kind of emotinal abuse i grew up with. I DO NOT need that shit anymore.

In fact, I've about had all I can. I'm ready to move on and keep hippiemouse as a good friend and wonderful person, but not a relationship. Its been a delicate fabrication f his own desperate self-conscious this whole time. I'm not trying to hurt him, I swear it's not in me. Mouse has the amazing ability to set himself up AND knock himself down. Being guilted by his 'search' for a mate into a forced imaginary relatinship so i could have piece of mind for a few months has gone too far. I can't deal with him being completely depressed constantly, running to the bottle, or the pipe for when i tell him how to fix things as he throws them in his face. He's reactionary, immature, and sadly...just fucking sad. I can't be around this much depression without feeling empathetic and its KILLING me. I can't even stand to be around him 50% of the time anymore because he's one big Debbie Downer. He relies on me to find him friends, take him places, and now a mate. drive him everywhere, and constantly embarrasses me in public due to his aspergers. His mouth has no filters, and he even embarrassed the fuck out of me (and himself) in front of his own mother.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate him by any stretch of the word, but goddamnit if anyone could live with him as long as i have and not go insane, i'd offer up some prize money and respect.

I made it down to the lower peninsula! im currently staying with : hippiemouse: and a growing pack of awesome furries! I left my computer up north in the scatterbrained flurry of activity preceding the move, but i am expecting to be back online in early august on my own pc. I'm doing alright, but i am uncertain of the future as of yet. Breaking up with : nrg: has left me frazzled and without much of his amazing parenting. But ultimately I find us missing each other, but we where destined for failure from the start. I hope he reads and understands how scared I was and how stressful this move is to me. I left my computer up there and forgot to say goodbye to him for fucks sake! I feel really bad about that. really. bad.

other news!

Asap i will be updating this page and my inkbunny account. new pics. new scans. hooray!

I haven't fallen off the fandom yet!

p.s. if you have my number and we haven't talked in a while. please gimme a call! im looking forward to catching up with some of you awesome furs!

peace, love, and fishes!

after my contiuation of a failing job search downstate michigan, ive decided my mental well being needs a break before my mate and I head to disney world on march 5th. after- i come back down and decide my life from there.

the 8-10 hour drive is gonna be a bitch though to come home to Hoth.

Just like Cain and Abel
You pulled a sneak attack
I thought that we were brothers
Then you stabbed me in the back
Betrayed!
Oh boy, I'm so betrayed!

so ah yeah. way to go family once again! so my 3 aunts and my mom, i call them the witches.
so anyway they decide after im not even done unpacking from moving to my grandparents, minding my own business, respecting their 8pm bedtime an everything, decide i'm "upsetting" them and "A 21 year old shouldn't be living with two 84 year olds, maybe a 60 yea old but not a 20 year old" so they decide to plot with my mother, to all storm over here and tell me im packing up and moving to live with my mom. now this is never a good idea, i tried that for 18 years, she had her chance.

so anyhoo, they pretty much bully me into my aunt debbie's car,
drive me across town, and park at my aunt kathy's, berate me for 'staying up late' and 'we're worried about our parents' mind you, its not like i throw parties or am even loud here, ever. hell i shovel their porch off at 8 am for fucks sake!

besides, its my aunts and mother that leave my 84 yea old grandmother bawling her eyes out every time they come over and start shit with me. fuck no im not gonna be cooperative.


so anyway, i just get bored of their spiel after the third or fourth chorus, and take off, my aunt debbie and kathy chase me around town untill i humor her and go back to kathy's where my mom is now waiting inside. i walk in, just to hear them out. to find all three of them playing good cop, bad cop and then the reverse psychology is attempted, so at this point i really wanna leave. so i ask to go. they tell me they'll call the cops on me if i return to my grandparent's home.

so i laugh and walk for the door, headed off and blocked by my aunt debbie. i ask politely, several times, then im forced to yell. nothing.

so i try their front door, so i fake em out halfway, jump a kitchen table and head out the back way after, quite loudly roaring "let me go!" i take off across town, off roads of course. get chased, stalked and flashed with headlights and screamed at untill i can dissapear in the woods.

they're still on me and they keep wanting to "talk" to me. *siiiiiiigh*


the past 4 times i've visited my family, ive wound up on someone's couch across town because they cant leave me well enough alone. fuck. i just want to work and keep to myself this winter.

but im still where i want to be for tonight.
see why im a borderline alcoholic, Aanari?

So i'll see you guys at mff, and then who knows?

alright, see you guys at MFF!

I apologize for the lack of availability on messengers, etc. my laptop has died, and will need repairs i can't afford immediately. extremely sorry for the inconvenience.

im moving back to lower michigan soon.
otherwise, stayin' aliiiiiiiiiive

im going to mff. you bitches better be there!
then hopefully visiting scorch and fidget for a few days.
then visiting family for turkey day.

untill then....FML

fuck my life and forgive my absences online and to my friends whom i still hold so dear.

traveling downstate to (mostly) visit family and friends for the next foreseeable week. should be interesting. I will miss my otter and my husky deeply.
To all those whom got excited when they read this, I, sadly, still do not poseess transportation of my own, so scorch and fidget, odin, and cobo and DT, gonna be hanging around flushing/flint for most of my VAY KAY.

in other news...
still looking for work up here, have been since march/april. some serious bullshit and I may have to temporarily move to HOUSTON where a gracious friend has procured a place for me to stay, and something better than luck in finding work. Not decided yet if i shall do it for the 9 or so months my boy finishes college.

I'll be going to MFF regardless of the outcome, I hope to see you all there!
Also, DISNEYWORLD next spring break! It'll be my first time! I'm more than excited!

But to all those whom I need to hug, in due time, in due time. i don't plan on leaving this earth without a fight anytime soon, so you'll get your hugs.
Peace, Love, and Fishes bitches

Well there, I said it. I FINALLY got my HDD in my laptop replaced and something formed between the depths of hell and bills gates toes called "windows 7" on my machine. Fuck I can tolerate the interface, but My first thought after migrating my data and drivers was;"This is all the suck and none of of the fun of linux!" oh well. diablo 3 calls from a far time in the future and my laptop must be compatible. Dual boot time!

But as an update:

I am back online.
I'm still deciding to get my messenger back or not. prolly will. I like too many of you awesome furries out there!
This is my second day of mulling over submissions and comments, so if you get a "thanks for the watch/fave." 2 months late, you know who you are.

Otherwise

I'm doing ok, I quit Arby's a while ago and I have a few perspective employment opportunities lined up in th next week or so to explore.

And our car's starter crapped out 3 days ago. yay!
Miss you all!

ok, so i haven't been on at all lately because my laptop needs a new hardrive, and i miss everyone terribly, not only because its so lonely up here, but because you all are so darn far away.


UPDATE:::::: im not making shit for money at arby's i think i had 2.5 or 3 hours THIS WEEK. So fuck em. Im trying for new employ when I get back from seeing my family around the 7th of jan. Seeing as how they couldn't stop bitching to me about how i could have wasted away for 18 hours each way on a bus because my car needs a fuel pump and cant handle highway travel right now and the car my mate and I where gonna take needs the tie rods replaced. So I had a wonderful Christmas up here in the frozen northlands, depressed, crying and being yelled at by my mom when i call her to wish the cunt a happy holiday, and she bitches me out for not caring enough to basically walk over 500 miles to come see her in the snow.
THEN, she fucking gets my grandparents in a tither, making 2 85 year olds, whom i love more than her, cry to me on the phone ON CHRISTMAS.
SO, all that bullshit aside, I've just been surviving up here day to day, lately been cleaning and such. clean rooms make me happy, although I seem to be the only one who shares this passion.

I can't wait to move back to civilization.

Also, If your reading this, odin fox, please call. i've lost your number.

 pasha happy holidays, even if its late. you should call too.

Twilight otter: the same.

Just giving the 4 people that actually read this a heads up.

alright, first off my niggs, we have my new job. I work at Arby's now.
not my dream job, but its teh cash monies. So that means, 1 of 2 things, MFF is definitely a go this year, and not on the super-duper-ramen-and-pb&j-cheap this year. and 2.  pasha won't have to buy me sushi FOR ONCE!

next is my b-day.... *crickets* I'll be 20!!!!!! omgwtf! i feel old, even though i know i shouldn't. i HATE feeling old. its Thursday, the 17th (along with 7.5 million other people) all i want for my birthday is to have a nice, relaxing day, maybe cub out, drink and eat myself stupid, and go to bed. but no, i have to fucking work. i guess being the low man on the totem pole still means what it did 30 years ago. oh well.

another important notice, my buddy  velnor needs some desperate assistance!
comission him PLEASE!

Rules:

1) Post these rules
2) Post 8 true things about yourself
3) At the end you must tag 8 people and post their icons
4) Go to their page and send them a message saying you tagged them
5) NO TAG-BACKS

__________________________________________________________________________________
1) I have a terrible envy complex sometimes. It rivals the strength of my curiosity and often intertwines with it.

2) I NEVER expected to wind up with a mate this early in life. (although our relationship is fairly open)

3) I have never had a clam or an oyster. I know, what kind of otter am I? A river otter. and my family never really was big into shellfish other than crustaceans growing up so I never have eaten a clam or an oyster, or an abalone, or anything like that.

4) I'm the last male heir in a recorded line stretching back to 1066 and the Crusades. And the family name dies with me, all because I'm gay.

5) I'm a pyromaniac, but I'm very safe and sane with it. I like fire as much as i like water.

6) I can hold my breath for almost 4 mins.

7) I feel like I'll never be good enough.

8) I never got past a 10th grade math level, but my IQ was 143 on an adult test when I was in 8th grade. How back-asswards is that?



tagged!

 fidgetfennec  scorchedwings  defender  ryonecarou  faith

and that's all i feel like doing

I'm heading downstate this friday to first check up on my old folks (grandparents) who really aren't doing the best, in fact: my grandma has a small anuerisim in her carotid artery and has just recovered from viral meningitis with encephalitis.
And to see what I can do about ANOTHER tree that fell into the back of my mother's home and tore out the power lines, AGAIN. second time in as many months the neighbor's tree has broken our fence and destroyed our deck and back of the house.
on top of that my Aunt Kathy is in the depths of chemo treatment and in dire need of helping out- I'll be working on her and my grandparent's 'to-do' list while I'm down there.
FYI, my mate, as you all know him by:  NRG is coming down with me. lets just say MY mother and he don't see eye to eye on anything. this should be interesting. I can tell she just wants me down there to bitch me and guilt trip me out. *sigh*

That's the worry part.
Now the fun part.

I'm staying with  fidget and his mate for a few days in Detroit. Should be a blast!
I miss them terribly and hope to visit some other good friends while I'm down there.
Good times and partying for all!
I hope this trip balances itself out well enough, or I'll be one depressed lil oddur.

*raises glass* here's to the good times while we have em!

so, who do i know that will be there? It looks like i am going after all!
I know there have been some plans changing for people, so i was wunderin'...

looks like its that time again.
yup, i MIGHT be going to AC this year again, but its a big IF.
Just letting y'all know so your not setting yourselves up for dissapointment. I will have plenty of that for everyone if i can't make it. But Strong Xander, Strong Xander.

Leaving thursday morning at 2am, expected to be in novi/detriot early afternoon.
peace and love for all my friends who are attending!

I will be attending FCN, anyone else with me on that?

roll call, anyone? really curious, because I have alot of local furries going, but I am wondering about the not-so-local furries I may know and are attending.

-addik

001. Name → Chris Langtry
002. Nickname(s) → Addik, Addy, Chris.
003. Status → confused and happy. (first time I was tagged and actually did it)
004. Zodiac sign → Virgo
005. Male or female → most definitely male.
006. Elementary → Central
007. Middle School →FJH
008. High School → FHS
009. Smart → I keep being told this, so I would have to agree, although I hardly ever apply myself.

010. Hair color →brown, sandy brown.
011. Long or short → I like it shorter rather than longer.
012. Loud or Quiet → Only shy/quiet in a new place with new people, otherwise I am very outgoing!
013. Sweats or Jeans →Neither!

014. Phone or Camera → A DSLR whenever the fuck I could afford it.
015. Health freak → I have been slacking off, but I am pretty healthy and fit.
016. Drink or Smoke? → I quit cigarettes, but I smoke a hookah occasionally now. And enjoy my booze. (I am in college, after all!)
017. Do you have a crush on someone? I will always have a crush on  nrg
018. Eating or Drinking → Don't they go together or something?
019. Piercings → not yet.
020. Tattoos → none yet.

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing → not yet.
024. First best friend → Coy Serges, the bestest friend I could ask for. (who actually understands me)
025. First award → Gold Star in preschool, for saving a girl from being locked in the bathroom.
026. First crush → K Waterson. I needed the hurt, baby.
027. First pet → Toby (my lab sheppy mix, You where my homegurl!)
028. First big vacation → Florida when I was 7.
030. First big birthday → Never really paid attention. My 18th was one of the more, ah...profitable ones, so I guess that will have to be it.
CURRENTLY:

049. Eating → Tootsie Rolls
050. Drinking → Pot -o- Coffee.
052. I'm about to → Go eat some lunch, then go to class.
053. Listening to → Roomate's playlist on random.
054. Plans for today → Eat, play Fallout 3, and go to classes.
YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? → perhaps. Two daddies though...still, I love kids.
059. Want to get married? → Serious Consideration....
060. Careers

---

> Computer Repair, IT positions, hatever comes my way in those fields.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?

answer to the questions blow are all: things with penii.
068. Lips or eyes → both.
070. Shorter or taller? → either/or.
072. Romantic or spontaneous → I am happy with either one.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms →Nice heart. Nice head.
074. Sensitive or loud → time and a place for both.
075. Hook-up or relationship → I am mated, so we both hookup with consenting friends now and again.
077. Troublemaker or hesitant → Depends on the situation.

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts → glasses, once.
081. Ran away from home → got kicked out 3 times. But no, never ran away.
084. Broken someone's heart →Always broke my heart.
085. Been arrested → Pigs don't scare me!
087. Cried when someone died → last Saturday infact.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → Most of the time. I was emotionally abused most of my childhood, so sometimes its hard too.
090. Miracles → I belive in karma.
091. Love at first sight → 100% It happened with me and my mate!
092. Heaven → We'll all find out sometime....
093. Santa Claus → If by 'Santa' you mean commercialism, then yes.
094. Sex on the first date → its nice, but I don't date anymore.
095. Kiss on the first date → Of course.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Anari. I luff hims!
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → Mostly, its uphill atm, but I am tougher than whatever life throws at me. Grrr.
099. Do you believe in God → I believe in Karma, its the only thing I have ever sen evidence of.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag: Doom and gloom upon:
tagged:  punkwolf

 okiedogg

::::::::::::::::::::::::That's right, Kiddos! Time for the Big Leagues and Heavy Hitters on all the lineups! I am talkin' 'bout college! Michigan Tech to be more precise, and I sure hope to whatever god you got in your pocket I do well....

Moving up there in roughly T-Minus 2 weeks and counting, 503 miles away from all known civilization and relatives. If I said I was excited, I'd be lying. And if I said I was scared, I'd also be lying. Its more like a muddled mixture of the two, with apprehension, relief, worry, anxiety, and joy mixed in for added flavor.

My hunkahunka burning hotter is gonna be in the picture, this time for reals!
So having a life-size huggable, loveable, and not to mention supportive otter around to help me land on all 4 paws is gonna be an absolute lifesaver! No idea how much this means to me, like a educational tour guide and man-on-the-inside-teddy bear for me until I get my tail in gear and poop in a group.
(You have no idea how much you're helping my mental state ATM and very soon, hon)

So, I just wanted to letcha all know why I will be a little short of posts and Loooong on distractions for roughly the next month! *hugs everyone I know*