Hi, all. So, I'm feeling kind of ambivalent about Dear Diary at the moment. There were almost no comments on the last chapter. Are people interested in seeing me continue?

Dear all my followers,

I hope that you and yours have a very happy holiday season!

- Aethan

Hi, folks. Sorry for the delay. Between other writing projects and prep for some out of country travel, I haven't had a chance to write up a new journal for Chet. I will try to get this done before I fly out on Monday, but I can't promise anything, as this weekend is mighty busy.

Hang in there. Chet's adventures are just beginning.

Not TOO often, but, when I do, it goes on my After Dark Twitter account. Request to follow aethanbear2sexy, and you can find some rather personal stuff out about me. :)

Alrighty, folks. This is news I have been wanting to share for some time. As of about 3 hours ago, my first draft for Circles: the Novel, is done. Sometime in the next few days, I will re-read it, make edits and changes, and then give it to the other creators for them to get their feedback. Once any changes are made from that, I'll get Scott to work on illustrations, and then we'll hand the whole thing off to Rabbit Valley. As soon as I hear back from them when they anticipate publishing, I'll let folks know.

- Andy

What would've been Circles, Issues 12 is now written. Hardest thing, emotionally, I've ever written. Issue 13 should be an utter cake-walk by comparison. Planning on working on it tomorrow night, Sunday, and/or Monday. There should be no reason Circles: the Novel will not be done by the end of this weekend, at least a first draft.

If you read my first Dear Diary and want me to continue, please let me know who you think Chet's secret crush should be. Otherwise, I may just put the project aside for lack of interest.

Aethan
FC 2036-7424-9076

I've decided his name is Lhoryn, and his snake's name is Hannibal.

Yeah, okay. Why not?

http://www.tumblr.com/tumblelog/aethanbear

So, some of you might be thinking you haven't seen much of me lately. Well, let me tell you...

As of last September, I lost my Mom. As you may guess, this plunged me into something of a depression. My work suffered, my friendships have suffered, and, worse, I didn't really care. I segued through holiday after holiday, and all I could really think was "This is the first Thanksgiving without Mom." "This is the first Christmas without Mom." "This is the first New Year without Mom." "This is my first birthday without Mom." I wasn't really doing anything to grieve. I was just going through the motions.

To make matters more insane, my work went through the roof. We had a staffing crisis which has resulted in almost 7 months of uninterrupted weeks of mandatory overtime. And to make matters worse, I had taken on not only getting a new LARP off the ground, but also a new D&D campaign, the Renaissance Faire I sing at, and a LARP one-shot that I'm the head of. And despite this, I still acted as if nothing were odd. I invited folks to come visit. I made plans. I was working my ass off virtually from the moment I woke up until the moment I put my head down on the pillow at night doing my job, my LARP stuff, my games, etc.

Somewhere in the middle of all that, I saw my doctor who commented that my blood pressure was up. I knew that; I have hypertension, and I take meds for it. I told her about the craziness that my life had been since September, and she asked me something. "What are you doing to grieve?" she asked. "Nothing, really," I admitted. "I'm just keeping busy." "At some point," she told me, "you need to stop and take time for yourself."

I filed this away, and I didn't really think much of it. Hadn't she ever heard of work therapy? I plowed back itno my work, got the LARP off the ground, got my game going. After canceling a game because I wasn't feeling too well, a player approached me through a privatem essage and expressed concern over my health. That got me thinking a bit, and what my doctor said was in my mind, too.

This past week, a dear friend came to visit. In preparation for his visit, the hubby asked me to organize and put away a bunch of boxes we'd brought home while we were cleaning out my Mom's house. I sat down and went through them. A lot of it was stuff I knew of, including newspaper clippings of my acting, or stories I'd written. But somewhere in the midst of it was a document I'd totally forgotten. A multi-page book of rules my Mom must've written when I was 5 or so. It was completely adorable, and I could hear my Mom's voice as I read it. It was utterly her. After the first page, I was crying my eyes out, and I couldn't stop. I think I finally grieved.

I had a great visit with Gary. It was very relaxing.

Since then, I've been thinking a lot about my life since my Mom died. In no time, it'll be one year from that date, but I don't think, now, that I'll be thinking "One year since Mom died....seciond Thanksgiving without Mom" and what not. I think I'm okay, now.

I recognize that I've cut myself off from talking to a lot of people. I just haven't had time. I'm sorry about this. I hope that you still want to talk to me, after all this craziness.

It's funny. I didn't know I wanted to write this til I sat at my computer. But it needed to come out. More catharsis, I suppose.

Anyway, I'm here. I'm back, I think.

- Andy

After over a year, I've returned to using my blog, The Happy Bear's Guide to Better Living. I've come back with a Restaurant Review of Maggiano's Little Italy: http://thehappybear.blogspot.com/20.....os-little.html

So, the writing gig on GeeksDreamGirl.com is going well. They've actually had me go weekly. If you're interested in my articles, which include dating advice, reveal my pathological fear of the Mothman, and well tell you about how I started playing D&D, check out http://geeksdreamgirl.com/author/ggg/

When I'm not writing furry stuff, I'm often writing about gaming. Recently, I got picked up as a staff writer by GeeksDreamGirl.com as their official GGG (gay geek guy). My first article went live this morning. Check it out!

http://su.pr/2qnLAx

Huh...kind of fun to see something this out there in the High Schools of Texas. ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q77s.....ature=youtu.be

Here's another pic of my boys. They look so little in this pic. They've gotten a lot bigger in the last two years. :)

http://www.ursainternational.org/li.....nbearboth2.jpg

If I haven't seemed like my normally vociferous self, this is due to a confluence of craziness in my life.

1. This upcoming weekend is the 1st weekend of the LAST season of the LARP campaign I've been working on since 2001. Check out details at http://www.theisles.org

This alone would normally be enough to have me canceling social plans, staying home, and writing my butt off. Now, add to this the fact that:

2. I work in the travel industry.

Harmless enough on its own, but add an Iceland Volcano shutting down all air travel in Europe for a week, and...well. You get the idea.

Despite this madness, I've been very nose-to-the-grindstone and gotten the work done that needed to get done for the LARP. I have Friday and Monday off, so I can take Friday to finish any last-minute things that pop up, as well as to sleep in a bit. Monday, I intend to relax all day...unless I end up going to the zoo to hang out with my favorite black bears, Smokey and Bubba. Here's a photo of 'em: http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/.....57064_4545.jpg

If I haven't seemed like my normally vociferous self, this is due to a confluence of craziness in my life.

1. This upcoming weekend is the 1st weekend of the LAST season of the LARP campaign I've been working on since 2001. Check out details at http://www.theisles.org

This alone would normally be enough to have me canceling social plans, staying home, and writing my butt off. Now, add to this the fact that:

2. I work in the travel industry.

Harmless enough on its own, but add an Iceland Volcano shutting down all air travel in Europe for a week, and...well. You get the idea.

Despite this madness, I've been very nose-to-the-grindstone and gotten the work done that needed to get done for the LARP. I have Friday and Monday off, so I can take Friday to finish any last-minute things that pop up, as well as to sleep in a bit. Monday, I intend to relax all day...unless I end up going to the zoo to hang out with my favorite black bears, Smokey and Bubba. Here's a photo of 'em: http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/.....57064_4545.jpg

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/Aethanbear

So, as folks migth be aware, I've been running Swords of the Amanar, a homebrewed D&D 3rd edition/3.5 edition campaign for the last 9 years. Well, tonight's game started with the negotiation with, followed by the fight with, a Colossal Red Dragon, one of the biggest monsters in the game (and certainly the biggest "miniature" I own). After a few rounds of combat, in which the party was almost wiped out by the dragon's breath, the one slain character (the cleric, wouldn't you know!) was literally Wished back to life by our party's wizard, the party was restored to full health by the raised cleric, and then, after several disintegrates and spells and sword attacks, the cleric tossed an Implosion spell...the dragon rolled a 1 on its saving throw, and the dragon was dead. Dead. One moment it had almost 500 hit points (down from over 650) and the next it was wiped out. It was a moment of pure awe from the party to the cleric, who had used that spell to no effect many times since getting 9th level spells. And this time...it simply worked.

The rest of the night was mostly roleplay, followed by the epic lead up to the conclusion. The party has entered the disembodied consciousness of a Mind Flayer Elder Brain Lich (its al ong story...9 years, remember?) and must either slay it, or die trying, knowing that it will shortly begin its plan for conquest of the known universe.

So that 9 year campaign...all comes down to next game session. I want the PCs to win...but I will *not* make it easy for them. They will have to win fair and square. It's an awesome feeling. Exciting, dreadful, bittersweet, and triumphant.

I look forward to it, and to whatever story I end up telling after that. :)

- Andy

I got completely bored with having only generic icons for my stories, so I found some around the web and put them on my account.

Today is my 5th wedding anniversary! The joey and I have been legally married for 5 years, though we were romantically involved for about 8 years before that. Our wait was a lot shorter than a lot of couples who got married legally that first year.

So strange to think of that it's already been 5 years for us when states are still getting their acts together, rejecting gay marriage, and such-like. To everyone who isn't able to get married due to these ridiculous laws, I say hang in there. Ten years ago, I would've laughed if you'd told me I'd be able to legally marry another guy. This is a big fight, and an important one for gay rights. It's not going to happen overnight.

And if you want it right now, then move to MA. It's a great place to live for more reasons than that. ;)

- Andy

I just posted this on my blog - The Happy Bear's Guide to Better Living. Thought it was relevant here, too.

When I heard that John Lasseter had become had of Disney animation and Imagineering during the Pixar buy, I was thrilled. The man knows quality entertainment.

When I heard that John Lasseter had re-opened Disney's 2-D Animation department, I was ecstatic! I love traditional animation. I think that 3-D computer animation, while an interesting and valid art form, is not inherently better or worse than traditional, and I prefer traditional in this case.

When I heard that Musker and Clements, the directors of The Little Mermaid and an umber of other excellent animated Disney films, were going to be producing a movie that was going to be the beginning Disney's new 2-D Animation Renaissance, I was...well...I was interested, but skeptical. That was a lot to live up to. And the Frog Princess? Um...okay.

Slowly, the details came...New Orleans, Randy Newman writing jazz and zydeco...okay, that sounded good. An African-American Princess? About time. A twist on a classic fairy-tale? Hmm, okay. Drama over the main character's name? Odd. Title is now The Princess and the Frog? Ooookay? What's going on over there?

Then a teaser came out, showing a primarily toothless firefly with a thick Cajun accent.

I was prepared to hate this movie.

Then other teasers came out, showing details. Looked nice. Music seemed good. But that firefly was still in there somewhere...

Then I saw an extended preview...the first 10 minutes or so of the film, some of it still in roughs. You could see that this film had heart and a couple of intriguing messages: Yes, you can wish on a star, but you need to help those wishes along with hard work. And while your dreams are important, they're nothing if you don't have love. I was starting to like this movie, and it was still months from coming out.

Cut to a week ago. While visiting Disneyland, we got to hear an extended preview of the music. Gooood music. Really getting interested now. But that firefly was still in there somewhere, wasn't he?

Cut to last night, we finally saw it. Saw it with the Roo, the Tiger, the Otter, and two other friends.

That frickin' firefly was awesome. He made me cry, damn it!

Really, this is a wonderful Disney movie...an instant classic, as we say. The music is fantastic, and the animation looked as good or better than Disney's work ever has. There's a stylized sequence towards the beginning that is literally jaw-dropping. It's filled with colorful characters (including that dang firefly), sequences that're funny, sad, heart-breaking, jubilant...oh yeah. Emotional gamut, for sure.

Tiana, the princess of the title, is a great addition to the panoply of Disney princesses, easily equal to any of the previous princesses, and better than many of them, because she's self-sufficient and gutsy.

Naveen, the charming prince, really is charming.

Dr. Facilier, the villainous witch doctor who puts the plot in motion, is a great Disney villain. His sequences are some of the best in the film, and he is genuinely creepy. He does not die by falling from a high place. ;)

Even Louis and Ray, the obligatory animal sidekicks (here an alligator and the aforementioned firefly) are excellent characters, with actual motivations, personalities, and wants and needs of their own. Ray's devotion to the ideals of love, and to his own love, Evangeline, is one of the most beautiful and ultimately heartbreaking aspects of the film.

See this film. Go in with an open mind. It is truly worth seeing.

- Andy

So, a friend of mine recently journaled about his dislike of people's behaviors during the holiday season. With respect to him, I took some issue with part of his comments, which essentially indicated that Christmas would be great, except for the Christians, who had usurped the season from the older pagan traditions.

I don't know if I consider myself a Christian any more. I sometimes jokingly refer to myself as a Christo-Pagan, since I think both sides of that pairing have valid and interesting things to say. I do feel the desire, however, to put my point of view up for folks to ponder. It appears here in a slightly edited format.

At the risk of creating some religious drama, Christians originally celebrated Christmas around this time anyway, because, under Roman rule, they were being killed. They hid their celebrations amidst the existing Roman celebration of Saturnalia, or December 17.

Then, many years later, they found it a lot easier to get other religions to accept Christianity if they wrapped Christ in with the current celebrations, so they moved it a week or so later to more closely coincide with Yule and Solis Invictus, because they likened Christ's rebirth to the rebirth of the sun.

You can demonize Christianity if you want, or label it as "sinister", but I've known just as many obnoxious Pagans, Jews, Atheists, and Scientologists as I have Christians. Frankly, when anyone gets smug about their religion, or lack of it, it can be rather off-putting.

I personally feel that you get out of this time of year, shopping and all, what you put into it. If you go shopping dreading it, then you're going to have a lousy time of it. If you go out in a good mood, then you might just be fine. I was out Christmas shopping for about five hours this past weekend. I was in a good mood, and nothing bad or obnoxious happened in my vicinity. Go fig.

And if you don't want to brave the crowds, there's always Amazon. ;)

- Andy