I'm at AC from today through Sunday. I'll be at most of the Transformation stuff time permitting, a bunch of the RPG events, and the Metalhead Meetup if you want to meet the big Newf/Spanglish rata!

Waited until now to go ahead and retrieve my account from the great breach. Dang, that's a lot of a faves to add.

I've spent a lot of the Summer divided between a 40-hr/wk internship and getting stuff in order for another year of professional school. Even writing that sentence I cannot fool myself into denying that my time-management skills, which used to be enviable, are far fallen from where they used to be. Ever since I had that one year between finishing undergrad and getting first job where I was NEET, I've regressed (HAW HAW HORK HUH HUH HEH) in how to optimize my free time. From talking to my friends who are artists and writers with day jobs I get the impression that I have little excuses for myself as they tend to regularly work overtime on things not at all related to their hobbies and still manage to create. What's worse, they aren't devoting all of their spare time to these things. These dudes, who in this respect appear to me as superhuman, play (and finish) the latest video games, read novels or nonfiction books of their interest, sperg about politics, reinvest in their communities, and at the end of all that seem to spend hours and hours of time haunting favorite internet spots.

Unless part of this is image crafting and they're fibbing about how much is getting accomplished, which I honestly have no reason to believe, they've acquired some impressive ability to really get the most out of their days. So why is it that I now, with 2 weeks ahead of me where I can afford to do nothing and a school year where I can always just take 1 day completely off, cannot consistently do basic self-indulgent things like find artists to commission vanity pics or write at least a rough draft of a transformation story that's been on my mental back burner for a number of years?

I've been taught that habit is a powerful governor of behavior, and it takes fully three weeks of either repeating or abstaining from an activity for it to become habitual. I successfully passed this trial in strength training almost 2 years ago today, so why is something so comparatively decadent like making and consuming erotica, reading, and gaming presenting a challenge that picking up heavy stuff didn't?

I suppose it doesn't help that a lot of the artists I'd like to hire either aren't open to commissions right now or are leery about drawing age regression or cubs in general, but I still feel like there's something that most other people are getting that's just sailing over my head right now.

Every time I see a "hot" male or female character with rugged, wild, strong handsomeness or luscious, voluptuous, supple beauty, I think about how squeal eliciting adorable that character would look as an infant cub engulfed by adult clothing.

This is how my mind "works."

I suppose that coming out straight off how this account is operated for all things related to my fetishes/kinks warrants including entries derivative of this shameless meme. In the spirit of unprompted self-disclosure, I have a couple of awkward anecdotes entailing how confusing and thorny even cyber erotica can become.

I have an acquaintance on f-list who acted out a scenario with a transgender babyfur whose stated major kinks were all related to being controlled and dominated. This babyfur's profile and the content of their chatter before roleplay indicated that s/he enjoyed abuse and discipline from a parental authority figure and wanted to be powerlessly forced into compliance with a master's will. Typical bondage and submission fetishism, right?

Well, this acquaintance decided that he was going to be witty and surprise his partner by dominating him/her in an unexpected manner based on the rest of his/her profile. In addition to having a transgender character, the user claimed a fondness for feminization and sissification. To turn these on the head, my acquaintance played out imposing himself on his partner by denying him/her femininity. "No, you're not going to wear a dress. Dresses are for girls, and you are boy." He basically tried to arouse his partner by ruthlessly denying him/her sexual gratification and basic dignity.

The plan went terribly wrong; his partner was grossly offended and went into hysterics ranting about how nobody should ever think that transgender person would want realistically oppressive language to follow him into the escapism of internet roleplay. How could any empathetic person wound anybody with plausible cruelty versus the clearly over-the-top humiliations usually found in kinky roleplay, right?

I told my acquaintance then that I personally didn't fault him, because I actually know people who want exactly what troubled his partner so badly. In fact, I was introduced to F-list in the first place by a gay man who goes crazy for aggressively heteronormative behavior. In some of our RPs, he frequently tried to coax me into acting out premises where he'd be diminished or punished for being gay. He also loves hypnotism, so he'd drop unsubtle hints about me brainwashing him into being straight and forcing him to breed with a female. He loved for me to adopt the character of a musclebound jock who bitterly called him a faggot or a poofter.

In other words, my personal experience is a direct refutation of what this acquaintance's inadvertently appalled partner claimed should be intuitively understood as a line not to be crossed.


So what about you, furaffinity? Have you ever gone out of your way to really turn a sexual partner (real or strictly cyberspace) on only to have it blow up in your face?

I've actually been on FA for awhile and a self-described furry for about a decade, but I recently decided to take a cue from others in the community and create a different profile for my mandatory assortment of anthropomorphic animal kinks.

If I add one of your older submissions to my favorites gallery or a bunch of them at once, please don't feel strange about it or obligated to thank me. I'm just gradually making up for lost time.