Alright, it's been about seven months since I last posted something, and for that I'm sorry. Most things suck right now, all I have to my name is a Volvo station wagon (another one) and three suitcases of clothes that don't fit me because I lost seventy pounds.

But, I feel that drawing more may lift me out of my crippling depression. So I'm gonna get on that shit. Eventually.

UPDATE: The station wagon's fuel pump seems to have finally quit. At some point I'll get that thing back into decent condition, pretty much everything on it needs replacing.

I generally think it's unwise to judge people based on the food they like, but I do it anyway. Seems to be human nature. Name one food that it is important to you that your friends like, and one food that it is important that your friends do not like.

I will be returning to the Internet and to drawing once I figure out how to build a working P.C. from the random computer parts strewn about the house, and when I dig myself out of this financial hole. Being the only employed man in the apartment is not a treasurable experience. Having a working car might make me feel better too, my shiny new 1978 Volvo which unlike the last one still has most of its pieces and has never been on fire, is still recovering from a headgasket replacement. And in the month it took for me to complete that job its voltage regulator died. Curiously in that month the radio started working again.

Seriously, Saffola Mayonnaise is the best. It's expensive but very tasty. Goes very well with red wine vinegar and lemon pepper on a chicken sandwich.

http://caseylalonde.bandcamp.com/album/thank-you

 corbinbusker's album is here today :D Check it out. Also check out  chicago-lollie because he did the cover. mixed and mastered the whole thing :D

How far are you from where you were born right now?

I am 2,900 miles from where I was born.

Post a link and I will watch you.

My name on D.A. is Sofar, being as Ahundred was taken.

I read a fair amount of fiction on F.A. when I am bored, and most of it is cool. It's not really my place to criticize being as I have no idea how to write, but there's one thing that even good writers seem to do that bothers me. Some people have a habit of never actually writing "he said," as if this very simple pair of words that most writers use a dozen times a page would be too repetitive if used more than once a chapter. So instead they come up with increasingly awkward and obscure synonyms for "said." He recited, he conveyed, he expressed, he declared, he mentioned, he uttered, he pronounced, he remarked, he ejaculated, he verbalized. Many of these words can be fairly used to describe the nuances of speech, sometimes you do recite, divulge, or even ejaculate. But most of the time you just say, and it's pretty obvious when the writer is just trying to come up with random synonyms for "said." Synonyms which frequently suggest that the character is speaking in a way that the author didn't intend and doesn't really make sense most of the time.

I'd noticed this before but I began thinking about it while reading an article in the newspaper about birds, a long article in which the writer clearly thought that she was using the word "bird" too often. Even though it was an article about birds, after the jump she stopped using the word "bird" and began using the word "avian," and she went on with more synonyms for "bird" (of which there aren't many) until she'd used the word "raptor" twice as many times as she used the word "bird" originally. This behavior is unnecessary, I doubt the editor would have returned the article to her desk for saying "bird" too many times, and if you ever get published your editor will probably tell you that your characters say much more frequently than they conjecture.

I love pizza, and I've been experimenting on and off with creating my perfect pizza ever since I've known how to cook. I don't want the perfect pizza, being as I won't be able to find two of you who agree on what exactly that is, but rather I want my perfect pizza. I still need to get the sauce right, and the dough is a little hard to handle even though it comes out all right in the oven, but I think I'm getting pretty close. Here is my current recipe, which is very tangential because that's I do.

DOUGH

---

For a two-person pizza (which is a one-person pizza for my boyfriend) the ingredients are as follows:

Approximately one cup of bread flour, bread flour is high in gluten and you'll really be able to feel that gluten after it's risen. It'll be super stretchy and very hard to pull apart accidentally when rolling it out. I haven't been able to prove that unbleached flour works any better but I still prefer it because I'm not sure why they ever started bleaching flour in the first place. I doubt anyone has ever complained to their baker about a slice of beige bread. Normally when baking I measure flour with a scale to be precise, being as a lot of baking is almost chemistry, but pizza dough doesn't seem to care one way or another, add flour or water until it feels right.

One quarter ounce of yeast, which should be one packet but check the label first. If you have a jar of yeast instead of packets that's half a tablespoon.

Half a cup of warm water.

One tablespoon of olive oil.

Half a table spoon of sugar.

One eighth a teaspoon of salt.

Combine the water, oil, sugar, and salt in a bowl. Then, add the yeast and stir for a little bit, enough for the mixture to become cloudy. Leave that alone for about five minutes, when you return the mixture should be frothy.

Add the flour slowly while stirring, I can't describe what pizza dough should look like but you'll probably know it when you see it, add more flour or more water until it feels right. Scoop the dough out on to a board covered with olive oil, flour, cornmeal, or all three. I use olive oil and cornmeal because I like the texture it gives the crust. Knead for about a minute. Excessive kneading does not make a better crust but it is fun.

Put it in a warm place for 45 minutes, I usually turn the oven on until it feels like it's about 90 degrees fahrenheit or so then turn it off and leave the dough in there with the door closed.

After 45 minutes take the dough out. It should be spongy, fluffy, and jiggly like a souffle. Now you should punch it, but not in anger! The dough needs to be punched and it knows this. Then leave it for another hour or so to let it think about what it's done.

Now, knead it for another minute and spread it out on a pan, stone, or whatever (I cannot afford a stone so I use a cookie sheet) covered in flour, cornmeal, olive oil, butter, or whatever. Use a rolling pin or your fingers, it might stick to the rolling pin even with flour and oil, in that case your fingers will be enough. If you can spread it out by tossing it up in the air you probably already know how to make a pizza and won't be reading this.

Now, here is the bit I haven't worked out yet. Baking the pizza for a few minutes and then adding the sauce and the cheese makes it much easier but arrests the rising and makes for a flatter, crispier crust. Putting everything on before it's in the oven seems to brown the cheese before the crust is done. So you must experiment. I don't keep track of how long it's in I just eyeball it. I also haven't quite settled on a temperature yet, but 425 degrees is what I used the last couple times.

SAUCE

---

I like to make my own because I am particular about spices and it costs like 75 cents for enough sauce for two pizzas. I can hear my romanian jewish grandparents berating me from beyond when I miss out on a chance to spend half an hour saving two dollars.

A six ounce can of the cheapest tomato paste you can find. Yes Gramma Romanescu that one is on sale for twenty cents.
Six ounces of warm tap water.
Two teaspoons red wine vinegar.
Two teaspoons olive oil.
One teaspoon "italian seasoning," most of these bottles have the same stuff in them in the same amounts. They generally comprise oregano, marjoram, basil, and thyme.
One half teaspoon of chili powder.
Garlic powder or diced garlic to taste. Careful not to put too much garlic in or else you will be stabbed. People are as stupid about garlic as they are about cilantro, and knowing internet commenters there will be an argument about it in the comment section.

Mix all that crap together in a pot on low heat. Take it off the heat once it starts bubbling, it doesn't need to cook, it just needs to get hot. After it is mixed together and off the stove let it sit for like half an hour.

CHEESE

---

Don't use the bags of already-shredded-cheese. They got some sort of powder in them to keep all the cheese from sticking together, and the same stuff ruins the cohesiveness of the cheese when melted. Buy a block of cheese and either shred it or cut it up into slices. Also who wants to spend five dollars on half a pound of cheese. The house brand block of mozzerella is usually like five dollars for two pounds. Yes Gramma.

Anyway, yeah. It's pretty good pizza even though I haven't gotten it quite right yet. I'm always doing this with recipes, it usually takes me like twenty times to finally get everything quite right, it's like a science for me, I keep careful notations and write a hypothesis after every meal. I can take the fun out of anything.

There's a man who used to make very annoying comments on all my pictures and journals, every time he did I'd have to post a long reply telling him why what he said was horrible and please to stop pushing my buttons because you know you're doing it you cannot be this oblivious. He's the kind of person that tells you your characters shouldn't be smoking and tells you the car you drew gets very poor fuel mileage and wouldn't you prefer to give your character a more modern model. After a while he stopped so I figured he'd finally learned how to be pleasant, then I saw him post on someone else's picture and I realized that he's just learned not to do it to me in particular because I react so badly. At least he learned something.

My father is a very talented painter, he paints surreal scenes of strange worlds rife with symbolism, and he's particularly fond of old gods and mythological figures. He once painted Anubis playing a harmonica. I always figured I got my talent from him, being as my sister is also an artist. Of course I'm a cartoonist and he's a painter, but then again people have pointed out similarities in our styles. So I have a question, whatever it is you do, whether writing, music, or art, did you learn it from your parents?

If anyone wants a desktop-wallpaper-sized version of any of my pictures send me a P.M. and I'll give you one.

Does anyone know a program for Ubuntu that can play MIDIs? Or plug-in for VLC or something? I want to listen to  atma505's hot tracks but the three music players I have on my machine play MIDIs like crap.

I always knew that car would go out with a bang, its clutch exploded on the highway, or more likely the pressure plate according to a friend, I couldn't tell if the piece sticking out of the bellhousing was from the clutch or the pressure plate. Technically fixable, but it got impounded shortly after it happened and I couldn't afford to get it towed from the impound lot. I definitely couldn't afford to get it fixed nor do I have the time, space, or energy to do it myself. So I signed it over to the impound lot.

And also as I always suspected, the 800,000 mile plus engine still runs. The guy at the impound lot said he'd sell it plus some other parts to cover the cost of crushing and disposing of the rest of it so he waived the car disposal fee.

Goodbye Vendetta. It's been a great 44,070 miles. Sorry I couldn't fix you.

I need to put together a huge sketchdump for you all. I've been drawing this whole time but it's been little things. And there's a commission I've been waiting a ridiculously long time to finish, even though all that separates me from the errant sketchbook that contains it is a twenty minute walk and having to wake up before ten. But I'm lazy and drunk most of the time. All the other commissions I've taken but haven't finished have been payment-on-delivery, so at least I don't feel so bad about them. I'll draw the guy lots of extra pictures.

In the mean, tell me something interesting. I like interesting things.

If you're interested in old cars and how they were made you should read every article at ateupwithmotor.com. Their articles are very extensive and pretty much cover every aspect of a particular model's birth, middle-age, and death. Their analysis is a little heavy on corporate politics and marketing so it may not be every gearhead's cup of tea, but I find it all fascinating.

Cars are awesome and will always be awesome. I'm gonna go take apart my transmission and see if it works better when I put it back together.

I was at work and a customer asked me if I was an artist, I was in the process of painting a sign for a new item on the menu at the time. I happened to have some of my pictures hanging on the wall and I pointed them out to him. He told me that he's starting a website for something or other, and he needs an artist on the team. He didn't really ask me if I had any experience with graphic design, but I suppose the restaurant *is* covered in my portfolio, not just the pictures on the wall but all the signs I've made for new items on the menu. And of course artists are expensive and like to be paid up front, it'd make sense for someone just starting a new project to approach someone who's never worked as an artist before in order to get some work done cheap or on-spec.

It's likely that this website of his won't make any money or he may not find his investors, so I may not actally get paid, but it'll be something to put in my portfolio and also probably kind of fun. Also I have been waiting for someone to just walk up and offer me a job, this may be the man.

I'll let my boyfriend  atomsk813 field this one:

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1264160/

Okay guys. I know ordering your steak rare and complaining when it isn't as rare as you like it is cool and all and you think it'll make your dinner companions think you know a lot about steak but if you were as in to steak as you pretend to be you would have learned the terminology. The cafe that I work in occasionally when I'm not working at the restaurant I usually am recently added steak to its menu. I've only cooked six steaks so far and already I am annoyed with this. Three of those steaks were ordered medium and they weren't sent back. Two of the other steaks were ordered rare and sent back for not being rare enough. The last steak I cooked, was ordered "blue" and wasn't sent back. You see, "rare" still means cooked to some degree (51 deg. C to be specific) if you want your steak browned on the outside but bloody and still luke warm inside, you order it blue, internal temperature of less than 46 degrees C. I knew this and I don't even like steak all that much. And I order them medium because I'm not impressing anyone.

And what's with restaurants that have to make up their own scale of doneness? I mean how annoying must it get to have to say "our well-done is a medium" every time someone tells you how they want their steak. Why not just do it the way society has established. I mean how often do you go to a gas station and they say "oh our gallon is three quarts and a pint." This is right up there with "our medium is a grande" and "our size ten is like an eight"

Fantastic! I can draw but I can't write to save my life. I don't have that kind of imagination. Don't get me wrong, I have an excellent imagination, but I don't have that raconteur-type of mind.

You see, I've always wanted to draw comics. But in the five years that I've known how to draw, I have drawn one comic strip. That's it. This is because I cannot write. I'm funny, I dream up funny things and write them down, but all I can come up with are one-liners and quips, no matter how hard I think I cannot come up with any amusing dialogue.

So, I want to do an experiment. One of you send me a script for a comic strip, and I will draw it. I want to see how well I can execute someone else's ideas. I'm sure that if you write often you probably already have something lying around. Any length as long as it's just one page would be fine. I hope one of you is comfortable with doing this because I really want to try it.

I probably won't get it done quickly, I have a couple of things to complete before I start. But I want to try this.

I love everything about him and I'm so happy living with him.

Okay here is meme.  ten was the last person I saw do it. Basic thing is you pick one to five characters and ask them these dumb questions. I picked these two.



0. What are your names?

Vermilion Jones. Son of Crimson Jones and Cerise Jones.
Erasmus Minor Jade.

1. What species are you?

V: Tetradextrous red coyote.
J: Tetradextrous? You can't just say four-armed? That's not even a proper word you're mixing Latin and Greek. And it sounds like a food-preservative.

1. What species are you Jade?

J: Oh I am an Occidental Dragon.
V; That is not a word.

2. Boy or a girl?

V: All man.
J: Wouldn't you like to know.
V: Jade stow the coyness would you? Your bulge is making my eyes hurt. You knocked over a lamp with the thing when you walked in.

3: How old are you?

V: Fifty. Call me a graymuzzle and I strangle you, you humans are always making up dumb names for shit. 'Sides, furries keep their youthful looks longer. You can't see liverspots under fur.
J: I'm thirty-two.
V: Your driver's license says you were born in 1920.
J: So what, I'm a dragon. I'll still be benching truck axles into my third century.

4: What's your height?

V: 5'5", 120 pounds.
J: 7'2", 540 pounds. The wings add a hundred pounds.
V: Don't be shy about your weight I could do my laundry on your abs. And I intend to.
J: That sounds like a new fetish.

5: Are you a virgin?

V: What kinda question is that? Hasn't that pervy Wolfsatyr shown you more about my sexual escapades than anyone has a right to know?
J: I haven't seen any of your scrawny ass. Mister Century likes his musclemen, remember? That's why I've been in four pictures. Not a single royalty check.
V: Are you a virgin Jade?
J: Not since the end of the second world war.
V: Doesn't that mean you lost your virginity at 25?
J: Silence. Dragons are late bloomers.

6: Do you love anyone?

V: My momma and my six sisters.
J: I too love my momma.

7: Do you hate anyone?

V: Jack Ferrero that ugly filthy jobless mooching thieving cocksucking tweaker little bitch. There isn't a single redeeming quality about him.
J: Yes he is awful.

8: Have you killed anyone?

V: Recently? I don't remember his name but he tried to jump me in an alley in San Jorge. Squeezed the life out of that bastard's scrawny chinless neck. I ain't proud o' what I done.
J: Then why do you make grasping motions with your hands when you talk about it?
V: Well what about you Jade? There's still a shadow burnt into the wall of The Paragon.
J: I wish they'd paint over that. And that motherfucker shot me six times¸ I had to flame him.

9: Do you have any secrets?

V: Well, you know I'm gay and I strangled someone in San Jorge. I'm not sure what else you'd be interested in.
J: You guys have seen my green cock numerous times. I'm an open book.

10: What's your favorite food?

V: What's my favorite food? Really? These are your hard-hitting questions?
J: I like sheep.

11: What do you do to relax?

V: I sleep. When I ain't sleeping I ain't relaxing.
J: I burn things.

12: What season do you like best?

V: I suppose if I tell you I'll get to find out which Beatle I am so I can post it on my blog?
J: I like late winter, particularly during a year during which it is slow to thaw so you get snow and flowers at the same time.

13: Is there anything in your life you regret doing?

V: No regrets man. That's how I roll.
J: I regret doing Vermy here one warm autumn evening.
V: I regret that shit too I spent the night in the hospital. I'm pretty sure my lungs switched places. It set my bowel movements back a week. You're not a gentle lover is what I'm trying to get across here.

14: What do you think your life expectancy is?

V: Is that a threat?
J: Longer than yours.

15: How do you imagine your death to be?

V: We went from "what's your favorite food" to "how are you gonna die?" What kind of talk show is this?
J: I'm drawing a blank, I have some very interesting ideas for yours though if you keep asking me questions.

16: You are about to be put to death for a crime you did not commit, what will your last words be?

V: You'll have to shoot me before you sit me in that chair. I might get cut off mid-sentence.
J: Plaudite, amici, comedia finita est.

17: If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?

V: Man I don't play the lottery. That shit's nothing but a tax on the stupid and the lazy. And if you say some dumb shit like "you can't win if you don't play lol" I'm gonna smack the shit outta you.
J: Save it probably. I didn't get all my fabulous possessions by making friviolous purchases.

18: If someone came up with a knickname for you what would it be?

V: Most people call me Red when "Vermilion" isn't short enough. And I'm all like, "Thanks for reducing all the nuances of my personality and physical appearence to a color. When my real name is already a color."
J: How do you even have friends, Vermy?

19: If you could be fantastic at one sport what would it be?

V: Not the athletic type thank you.
J: I'm already fantastic at most sports, so long as no one else on the team can fly.

20: Do you have any phobias?

V: Yes I fear people trying to kill me. And what I fear, I bite.
J: I wouldn't be much of a dragon if I were afraid of things would I?

Most of the time artists are interesting people with interesting things to say, but you happen to be a blowhard. Or you're a dramawhore, or you won't shut up about one particular topic I have no interest in, or I don't agree with you on anything but if I say so in a comment I'll be blocked again. So yeah. I wish I could watch your art without watching your journals.

Alright my car is fixed. Two hours under that greasy, muddy, three-thousand-pound Swedish meatball. Of course as usual the time the project took was extended by my own carelessness. And a cop showed up when I started my car and let it idle without reconnecting the muffler. Though he was just curious as to what we were doing, Seattle cops are pretty cool they're just all like, "What are you doing? Is it illegal? No? Alright carry on." Heartfelt apologies to everyone whose prints were late because of no car, everything that hasn't gone out yet is going out tomorrow. Junkshop, I sent yours to the wrong address it just came back return to sender.

Thank you to Hopps, Dakota, and Snowy for all the help. You guys are the best friends.

Zero has a photograph of me looking like a chimney sweep after I finished.

This would be an excellent band or album name. Apparently it refers to the damage incurred to chemically-sensitive parts of the brain from over-stimulation by whatever chemical makes that particular part of the brain do its thang.

E X C I T O T O X I C I T Y
what a cool word