I want to kill everyone, so i go away for a day or two before I hurt more people.
sorry.

My tablet doesn't start up. I really hope it's gonna get solved.

it's stuck on the loading screen
just when I was already having panic attacks from the too much work that has piled up
I can't start up that thing to actually get work done


WHY THE HELL CANT I HAVE LIKE 1 DAY WITHOUT THESE KIND OF STUFF HAPPEN
When I finally decided to grind though all my work, and then life says NOPE F*CK YOU.

I'm seriously pissed. I wasn't this angry for years. I'm surprised I can even show emotions on my face anymore, but this made me.
Seriously. Others get iPhones and cars and whatevers, and I'm about to loose my only valuable item, this 150$ tablet that's literally my life and everything I have.

I was already questioning WHY the hell am I working 10 hours a day, when all I earn goes to pay debts and I can't even eat properly or dress myself.
There is no way I can get enough money for a new tablet like this one. (It's an IBM X41)

If it's not gonna get fixed I'll buy a temporary 20$ tablet and gather enough commissions to buy a new tablet I can use properly. Which means more delays, more frustration, more depression.
I'm seriously on my limit now.

-

Technical question:
It automatically started the repair mode, and it got stuck on that too, for about 15 minutes now. it doesn't let me cancel. do i just force shut it down I try restarting? What do I do with it? T.T

I plugged out my external monitor from it while turned off. I can't imagine that could have done anything, but that's the only thing that changed since last working fine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

*EDIT*
my tablet now turns on. but we don't know what caused it's problems and when will it give up. :(

Thank you for your patience, I will now commence working again

Here is my mini-schedule:

Today I'm gonna work on one of the PWYW wing-its
Tomorrow I'll finish that sketch for Seira3 finally (It takes so long, I redid it like 5 times >.<)
Then I'll finally finish Hotwert's way overdue painting. OMG I don't even want to know when did I accept that commission. I'm so sorry.
Might do 1 or 2 of those PWYW thingies in between Hotwert parts if I think I can do them in less then an hour
After finish the 5th PWYW
Then go back and do all the costume design thingies, start on Defiance's old painting. I took that up just a few weeks after hotwert's
still don't want to remember when
then I'm gonna hang myself, because all these are still just 8% of my commission queue
and by the time I'm done with Defiance, I'll need new funds/new commissions.

arrrgghhh

I'M GONNA DIE.

from 8th to 14th I won't be able to do my commissions (or just 1-2 hours a day)

When you work daily 8-12 hours on commissions only, you neglect your life. I need to catch up on some things, buy clothes, set a new diet (finally no more cheapest on sale items and dried bread only), re-validate some of my documents that expired last year, take a day to sort my things out and clean up my room properly, buy new earphones (I'm using someone else's)..lot's of things, I won't be resting at all
but I doubt I'll have time to do anything on FA. I'll check online every time I can!


I'm thinking on buying a cactus only so i would be forced to roll up the shutters (I live in complete darkness 24/7, and except my grocery trips I never see the sun or any light that's not monitor-light) I look like a bad low-budget B-category Hollywood movie vampire or ghoul.

-

also, just started watching Owari no Seraph (I'm so slow on anime, not enough time for it T.T ) and I freaking love it so far! (I'm at ep. 6) The first episode had these obviously painted backgrounds with huge brush-strokes, they didn't look bad, just... didn't belong there? But it got refined later. And that music! Sawano Hiroyuki FTW!
It kinda reminds me of Ao no Exorcist which is one of all time favorite animes. except this one has vampires. :3
also, Pellek did metal cover of it's OP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1c7DndzXfs

I'm still behind on Tokyo Ghoul and Aldnoah Zero T.T so many good stuff, so little time!


However, I might wanna do fanart of OnS later, might make a free YCH of it! not anytime soon though, need to clear my queue U_U

"I do not accept refs from
SL, character generators, IMVU, 3D modells, traditional media, rendered, not basic (T) pose, chibi, stylized, text description, no backview, not signed by Obama and not danced on by 3 orphan kids"

and my favorite is the 'I only work from digital ref-sheet', which is basically saying all of the above.

I'm genuinely curious, why certain artist's can't work off of a perfectly visible and clear artwork, where the character say sits on a chair.
Like seriously, why is it a bad thing?

I do not believe you couldn't see the exact body-type (you are an artist who learns anatomy after all), or you could just ask...

And the worst is that this is so much of a standard, 2 people confessed to me not long ago they didn't order anything from me, because they didn't have proper ref-sheets.

(to clear it, I accept every kinds of ref-sheets, text description up to 700 words (that's a lot of text already), I only ask it's SFW)
When I'm not sure about the character, I throw together a sketchy semi-refsheet for a few dollars, sometimes free (depends on how complex the character is), as extra service to my commissions. That's just my solution

Have you had any experience with artist's like these, or are you one yourself?

(To clear it, I don't judge or anything, I'm just really confused here)

About this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/16690258/

I found the commissioner!

It was ordered by  tyr_thorn as gift for  byzil
It was a freebie I did over Deviantart very long ago.
It will probably be finished with only Byzil's character in the summer! (details not yet negotiated!)

Special thanks for  Adleisio and  Rin-U who helped me find them!

Might do one myself too?

(it's when you sell multiple commission based on the same lineart/pose/background)

Mostly because of my enormous queue, which requires I do the smallest commissions possible to be able to progress with my old commsisions (45 commissions... so scary T.T )

of course it would be a lot cheaper than normal commissions, idk, 15$? for a rendered painting that is not unique I think that's fair?
Let me know what you think!

http://strawpoll.me/4500013
http://strawpoll.me/4500013
http://strawpoll.me/4500013

I do a monthly update concerning commissions.
that will have my current commissions/artworks, and planned openings for next month

If I owe you a commission, please check if your name is here, and contact me ASAP to add you if not!
derp icons and 10k catchers are not listed here

Commissions Journal/submission only
Trades info here
Requests Closed


Current ongoing commissions: 45
Estimated work hours (remaining): 395h

New commissions accepted in May: 18
Commissions completed in May: 12

LIST

- Amaru
- anonymous
- anonymous
- anonymous
- Anubislivess & Leefu
- Anubislivess Papr
- Anubislivess Pmay
- Axikor
- BabyStar
- Britshi
- Calacene Pmay
- Cekuba
- Chalkbunny
- Dalken
- Dave
- Defiance
- Defiance II
- Desolate
- Faithsdarkside I
- Faithsdarkside II
- FuzzyAlpaca
- Gamestreamer IX
- Gamestreamer VII
- Gamestreamer VIII
- Hotwert
- Hussar
- Jinxy_Falina
- KaiseReich
- Kiese
- Kyera_Moon
- Koviell IV
- Masterful
- Miststalker Papr
- Miststalker Pmay
- Nalz
- Rawr-Z II
- Rin-U
- Runa216
- Seairy3 & Aimi_chan
- Sevech
- Shiro-Neko Paprmay
- thecrazydragon
- whitedargun7
- Yksi

+some derp icons, not counted in commission counter

TRADES
(art or other things)
Estimated work hours: 13
List:
- Hookie_Spookie
- Fang_of_Fenrir
- Someone946
- Fuzzyalpaca
- RyouWoodware
- Zuboko
- Bourbon.



GIFTS/FANARTS
Estimated work hours: 50
List:
- Hattori
- Ali
- Amaru
- Kelpi
- Caleb
- Gamestreamer
- Desolate
- guardian-hawk
- Mapple effect entry

COLLABS
List:
- Jackrow
- 003773
- Flabby-Otter ?
- Telltalefirebrand
- JaciMae ?

WAITING ON
- Fowlgon (icon)
- Mccull61 (sketch)

Current work capability: Medium. (Depressed but standing)
Daily hours worked: ~8-10 hours

Current goal: new small tablet and a new HDD, I could stream some with those

---

OPENINGS SOON/PLANS
YCH auction (dragon rider)
MATCHING COSTUMES PAIRED CHARACTERS BATCH!!! DDDDDD:
collab with Flabby Otter and/or Jacimae (no details, no approval yet)


PATREON
open:
4/5 random small thingie slots
2/3 wing-it speedpaints

---

any other notes:
I messed up this month a bit >.< sorry!

---

If you have any feedback, or wishes on what kind of commissions should I open more, comment below! <3

and I'll kiss you?
No you wouldn't want that :3 I'm a dragon with huge teeth! D:

closed, reached, Thank you!!!



I'll draw you something small, an icon or a sketch. That is what I can offer with my current swampedness D:

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons.....-something.jpg



= CLOSED =
In like 10 seconds after opening kiriban
woah what?


The winners are

 lipton  zuboko  tehalbi  whoosh-

(I actually wrote a very long and ugly rant about my situation right now first, but I deleted it. I wanted to just rage-quit and sleep for 3 days.)


Certain things led to me not be able to have caffeine for ~3 days now.
Who knows me knows I am heavily caffeine addict. When I tried detox just few days with still 1 cup of coffee made me sick, It hurt me, I could barely move or do anything. There is also a risk on my side to go blind from sudden withdrawal. (not direct effect, long story)

Now I can't get coffee until Monday, I have a very little stash of some disgusting, milk-less emergency fake-coffee, and not much from that either. Just enough to keep me from the most severe symptoms.

I won't be able to work on stuff, I will do personal bits, and commissions I very enjoy, maybe a new flash-YCH if I get a good idea and just give up halfway like before. That is if I can at all wake up or do anything.
Old commissions are very hard to work on because I keep remembering how much of a failure I am, get depressed, and that is something I really don't want to do now, I hope you understand. (This is partially why I'm even slower with them)

This is only for 3-4 days (hopefully the bank transfers by then)

Sorry for the inconvenience!

I get the question annoyingly often at this point: Y R U SO CHEAP?!


here is the point:
I still haven't found my own style. my art quality waves up and down. I'm never sure how good or bad will my images turn out. This is present in every artist's gallery, but I feel like it is even more the case with me.

Also, I have been known to be very very very slow with some images (months or year(!) slow)
I don't want to have normal prices until I can safely say I am on track and I finish everything on time. To do that I just need to clear my current list - which I can't do without taking on more commission to make a living (do you see the problem here?)

The only relief I get from my very old commissions is that they were sold off very cheap (25 for full illustration, 45 with background, etc), which is no reason to delay them, but given delivered quality and price, a bit of waiting time is not -that- bad. (it is, just not as bad if I sold them for the price I'll ask for them when I'm ready to raise, that's about ten times more)
And if you think: "you ask 20-30$ now too!" - those are 2-3 hours speedies. the one I talked about are 40-60 hour big paintings.

Of course if I wasn't so cheap, I could have had fewer commissions to save me, wouldn't be in this circle of "need to finish commissions - need to take on more to go on". I wish I could change the past, really.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Moral of the story: DO NOT undersell yourself to gain exposure. It's ok to hold a sale of some sort, and be a little cheaper, but that's it. Use raffles, fanarts, collabs, auctions, sales, posters, ask to be featured, post frequently, be active and learn some marketing, that will work. Selling your art for 2$ WON'T.

It won't just mean a drawback later, but also, you gained exposure - for people who want free or cheap art - not for people who want quality art they can pay for. I was lucky to have Jackrow advertise me and start me off, but this was mere luck, don't count on a something like that.

"once I'll be noticed", "I'll get good commissions too one day" - out of the blue sky? NOPE. You have to work for it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"OK, so you talk about you being cheap, but you are against underselling? °^°"

Again, there are factors that make my art less valuable, such as completion time, and unforeseeable final quality, also I often forget to answer stuff (not intentional). I do keep up a 10$/h average payment for my art now, that I think is reasonable for something unstable and of unknown quality.


Hope that clear up some things!

I need a personal kawaii tumblr background*
pastel and/or muted colors, preferably light pink with teal accents, or light grey with pink and teal accents
cola cans, my sona (chibied) and cakes (pancakes?) floating around in a sugoi kawaii style ^3^
something simple and flat/simple-colored.

styles/complex-ness I'm looking for (not necessary similar, just the feeling they give off)
Example1 / Example2 / Example3 / Example4


Paypal, DA points or art (by me) as payment, whichever you prefer. please comment here or send note if you can do it, or know someone who can

Thank you!
May the kawaii be with you!

*note. I need permission to use the image in my personal Tumblr, DA journals and maybe on my website, crediting you. The image will not be used in my ads, posters or in any directly commercial product, thus full license is not required.

(posting one day later because of FAs awesome system of 24h scheduled update. seriously what the tuna)

I got a gift from hookiespookie, made by Clockwork-Caribou

and it looks like

but the best part is how it works with all sorts of icons, and I look at them exactly how I look at them IRL:


for late payments


my roomie who is still asleep

<the world>



awesomesauce, love it!

they are 2$ by
 Clockwork-Caribou

a batch just sold out, but i think/hope there will be new batches later!

EDIT (3 hours later): sorry if this sounds sour. I just woke up to a -70$ budget, and I'm not a morning person to begin with. it was not my intention to tell off anyone or be passive aggressive.
I do wait on your requests though, I'll start working on the images when I get any response!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am waiting on info to start on the rewards images.
I have not received info from anyone in the last 3 months.
Now few have unsubscribed.

That is ok, I would just appreciate if I was notified if you plan on unsubscribing, 1 so I can plan, 2 because Patreon does not notify me.

I really hope it's not because I wasn't delivering, I did shout out a notification to send me details, noone answered. :/

Info I'm waiting on:

Miststalker: March, April, May
Anubis: March, April, May
Shiro-Neko: April, May
Anonymous: April, May

as said in the shout-out for info, the months can be merged to bigger picture, or left separate.

(while I answer to my previous journal's comments)

MC:
I love Minecraft, thinking on joining a server. however MC drains my creativity, so its a strictly before bed/weekend game for me.
Do you know any furry servers? Heard there is a public surv one by mrsenpai
I like to goof around in creative, but I get bored of big projects easily, so creative servers are probably not for me
I'd prefer an FTB server though...is there any chance there is a furry FTB server? I don't even dare to specify my favorite Direwolf20 pack...

MMOS:
What do you guys play with? What would you recommend?
And I haven't played games more than 2-3 hours a week for years, and only single.
SO I'm very behind on info now.

I only like fantasy MMORPG-s.

ESO sounds good, but it requires 60GB disc space.
I have a 70GB HDD, and its almost full already :/
and it's insanely expensive.


Thought about WOW, I heard rumors its dying...? I don't know, as said, been offline for years. Never played wow before, but I like the eastern dragon mounts and the OST of Pandaria. Not sure if I want to pay a monthly fee though


I played PWI since the International server opening until about 2013, when it became so pay to win, it disgusted me.
The whole game mechanics collapsed.
When they were sure as hell were getting enough money from it already... (WHYY T.T) It made me super sad, I really loved that game before.
(If anyone still plays it, I have stuff there for about 30M, I can give it to you (Lost city))

I would give my soul if I had a simple yet beautiful style.
One that doesn't need all the fancy, gibberish details to make it look good.

(Though not having a soul might just explain why I can't draw like that to begin with.)

♦♦♦ ♦♦♦

Gonna hold a raffle on there in a few weeks, for now it's only a collection of all images of my sona

follow Aki to get a cookie!

http://askakishi.tumblr.com/

Link is the same as always: https://trello.com/b/xjKgPwdR/commissions

There is a column called "To be done next"

the ones there will be completed in order, as they are there, that is stonebound.
The order of the other columns are more scrambled up. I have a generic idea on what to do when, those are in place, but a lot are just pinned in the middle of things.

should I attach a wip image to the card I'm working on?

Every.

Damn.

Time.

just 3€, whyyyyyy

will i open a new slot for it? http://gifsec.com/wp-content/upload.....03/Cry-GIF.gif

I totally forgot it was yesterday (that's like forgetting your birthday lol)

But the shirt I ordered for myself as gift just arrived! (A 'maple effect' fan shirt from Red Bubble ♥ that BL comic is so cute)
that timing
and it's perfect!


yaaay :3

For those who don't know what nameday is: I'm not sure how many countries have it, but basically every name has it's own day here, where you celebrate, it's almost but not exactly as significant as a birthday. And since my birthday is forgotten by everyone every year because of stupid timing, my nameday is more significant in my case.

Do you guys have namedays? I know americans don't.
I can try searching up the equivalent of your name and tell you it's day if you are curious, no promises there is a hungarian version though

SO I had the idea of doing a slot/batch this way, BUT after over thinking it, here's how this gonna work:

This journal serves as my trading post.
You can throw things in you wanna trade in comments, and make offers for art. NO MONEY OFFERS HERE. WAIT FOR COMMISSION OPENINGS.
See link below for things I'm interested in (art, adopts, items, movies, DA sub, etc)
This will be always open.


╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮

♦ T R A D I N G _ P O S T ♦

TEMPORARILY CLOSED

♦♦♦ Link: Things I accept ♦♦♦


It might take me days to answer,
as I'm not always sure if I can squeeze another painting in.

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╭━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╮

♦ V A L U E _ R E F E R E N C E ♦

The values are for roundabout measuring,
you don't actually need to grab a calculator.[/b]

For now I will only consider trading:

speed-paints 30 USD.
background +30$.
additional character+30$

sketches are 10$

icons are 20$

MAXIMUM VALUE IS 60$

╰━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━╯
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♦ R U L E S ♦


An offer is alive for about 1 week (unless you tell otherwise)

If I did not answer in a week, take it as not accepted.
(I will try to answer every time)

It might take me days to decide.

I will complete the image first, then you give me yer goods.

Making an offer does not automatically make the trade. Wait for my response.

Created commission batches are for USD.
There will be certain slots or even batches I will tell if possible to trade.

Please keep the offers civil.

This is intended for fun exchange, but it still should be treated as business.

Don't harass or nag other offerers. If you do, I will block you too.

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Exchange history

4 offers, 2 accepted
Bourbon. - art
Fuzzyalpaca - Minecraft redeem code ♥

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My generic rules still apply (NO NSFW images, no NSFW refs accepted)
Chances are I will more likely accept an offer if I'm about to open new commissions anyway.

I went through a very dark and deep depressive phase. and I got very hyperactive today
first i wanted to feel wanted, that usually makes me open more slots
than i wanted to just be with everyone, because i got super hyped of nothing (while bursting out crying for also no reason)

sorry you have to deal with my craziness!
I'll try my best to contain myself in the future

that is why I'm trying to force myself to remove my personal side from this account. not because i don't want to be personal with you, but because i don't want to be annoying T^T

I'll stop myself from posting new journals until a new opening of commissions or something seriously important

So i had this idea that every time there would be one slot in my weekly speedpaints, which would be an offer to get slot
that would include art, adopts, steam games, heck even t-shirts or nerdy items (I would have to ask my landlord for permission to share address though)
basically whatever you can come up with.
it just has to be around 30$ in value like the other slots (shipping would be included in 30$, but had to be paid on your side)

that one slot would not be first come first serve since i need to decide if I actually want your offer or not, I hope that's understandable.
it would go on for 30$ 24 hours later if no interesting offer came up

what ya think? comments are appreciated! <3

http://strawpoll.me/4422509
if you vote dumb, please tell my why you think it is! (even in a PM, i wont bite!)
whoever gets the 'cool cool' reference (the one i though about) first gets a free sketch from me!

(note: accepting items in exchange for art is still tax-deductable. Why I would not mind accepting random items for art, I will have to pay in ~14$ on my part for accepting it. I won't pay for items I do not wish to possess.)