I can't believe I held out this long really; arms like everyone I follow has Shark sona, or stream one for commissioners.

Looking at more of it now, dang it, I want one! Guess I gotta save up and find a good artist to draw one

sometimes I feel that being an adult is a Catch 22.

Don't pay your bills till later: more money in the short term, but less later on when bills pile up.

Pay your Rent/Bills on time: little money till next paycheck, which means scrounging by till then

https://www.twitch.tv/akbrony907

watch me hope to survive if you want

Working 8 hours at a liquor store shows one time to think. One thing I can't help but think is how sucks being single. I mean, for some,I know it works. But not much for me.

Now, some might ask why I don't try to go out and meet people. Easy said for an introvert like me, not so easily done. Others might day is a dating site." I have,but once a conversation starts between me and someone else, it just...falls flat.

So, i know it's been a while since I last posted a journal (not that anyone reads them anyway), but I figured that now would be as good time as any to update.


I Was texting a good friend I'd mind that I met a few weeks ago... springs on me that he has cancer and has a year to live...now he won't talk to me

Hey, sorry is been a while since I wrote anything in here. I finally decided to change it, so it's not do much of a downer.

Well, sorry for not really posting anything in the past few months, not that I really have much to say.

To start off, I was kicked out of college, cause I was unable to pay the MASSIVE fine that I had accumulated over the semester. I ended up moving in with my dad for a bit, which I spent looking for a job. After a month there, I moved in with my Mom and Step-dad, and this is where I have been for the past few months. It was shortly after I moved in here that I got a job at the nearby Wendy's.

But even with this massive positive news...well, I have been seeing a counselor, and I think I might be suffering from depression. I'm not sure why really, maybe it;s all the ways I have never seemed to grow up, or who knows what. The curse of being only human is that all I can do is lie to myself.

I'm so sick and tired of all the emotional pain I have bottled up inside. I just want it all to go away!! Last Saturday I broke down in my room, and images of me cutting kyself or shooting myself filled my head. Needless to say, that scared me. I told my Mom about it, but the tone she gave me was that she didn't seem to care, and she told me that I do that shit for attention. Maybe I do, but the pain that leads up to it all isn't fake!!

God...I am such a fucking baby....I can't do anything for myself, and I can't even talk to my parents about it...*curls up in the corner, crying softly*

So it's been about two days since my girlfriend left me for a close friend of ours. As I said before, I'm not mad at either of them, strangely enough.

So I hung out with them today, just playing games and such, nothing serious. I didn't feel to awkward, as one might expect. But then my friend had to go to work, and my Ex and I went to go hang at the School commons.

While I was waiting for her, she confessed to me that she still loved me. And as she went into detail, she said that she had felt pressured to pick either me or him on New Years Eve, and she had chosen him. And as she now says it, she says she LOVES me, but she WANTS him. She's confused as to what to do.

And so am I. I mean, I want to be excited at the prospect of getting her back, but I don't wanna get my hopes up. I also don't want our friend to feel hurt, and like never wanna see us again. I mean, I know he drinks and smokes, but when he's sober, he's a cool friend.

I don't wanna see him OR her get hurt...

I'm so confused....

Just recently my girlfriend and I hung out with a friend of ours. We played video games all night, and I fell asleep early. I woke up the next morning and everything went as usual. After a few days, I learned that our friend had asked my girlfriend out on a dinner date, and when she asked about it, I had said "Yes". Now I learned that my friend and girlfriend have a small crush on each other. My friend said that he was sorry if it made me mad, and I said that it didn't. What I'm asking, is there something wrong with me for not being mad that a friend had a crush on my girlfriend?

I feel like I can't do it....

I'm failing my first time of college, and it's my fault. The times I skipped my classes to be with friends or cause I was tired.....I'm failing and it's all my fault...I have no job....it's difficult for me to ask for applications and then keep coming back and checking on the status of it...and I can't help but think how long will I be able to hold it....

I'm scared...I'm having a meeting with my Mom and Dad this saturday....I'm scared that they will throw me out on the street....I'm begging that it won't come to that, but I know there's a possibility of it...I just wanna run away, but I know it won't help anything.

I feel like it's only a matter of time now before the part of me that keeps me here cause I don't wanna hurt my friends/family is gonna disappear, and I'm scared that I'll make a mistake that'll hurt everyone I care about...

I know I need help...but everytime anyone's tried to offer me help, I end up snapping at them and refusing it.....maybe I'm stubborn, or scared cause it'll make me look weak....I really need help.....I'll try and ask for it.....even if I start to want to run, I'll remind myself I need it....




I'm scared.......please.....help me.....

I'm starting to get pissed off with my American government. I've looked at what the SOPA and PIPA bills would imply if they are passed. Basically any site, Facebook, Deviantart, Youtube, can be shut down because of copyright infringments. Any information, anything really, that is seen as an infringment will basically be blocked. It's basically shutting down the internet, one of the greatest technological achievments in history, as well as possibly one of the largest knowledge pools in the entire world.

It would be, in my opinion, a terrible idea to pass either bills. Personally, I'm one of billions of people on this planet who use the internet to share and discuss ideas. Music, games, TV shows, cartoons...if both of these bills are passed, all of that could be gone!!

It seem that my congressmen are nothing but pricks who here the big name corporations, saying that their stuff is being stolen, and there are copyright infringments. I think they say that because they wanna keep control on the industry.

I appose both of these bills. Any American out there who agree's say so!! The longer you don't speak up, the more they will continue to take away from us!!