I've got to keep it honest in this journal as a writer.

As the greatest creative force to rule over the furry scene in 2016, it's my obligation to keep things real. They call me Mr. Greatness for a reason. Are you ready for the new knowledge? Then pull up your beanbag chair and grab some cookies. It's time for an Adrik Wolf journal.

Or get yourself some English muffins. Maybe with some blackberry jam. That sounds good this morning. We're going to try to keep things realistic today. Because that's how things work.

So here's what my new knowledge has for you. Sit back. It's going to be great.

I've been doing some research into pre-schools for Thing One and Thing Two and set up a few interviews and filled out the proper applications for several private schools here in San Antonio that I feel will give my children the best head-start on life. It's never too early to start moulding the new generation into capitalist future Republicans who believe in education, hard work, and supporting their father's retirement at his beach house down in the Caribbean.

What? Do you think I plan on still working for the next thirty years? Heck no. As soon as these two get the skills they need, They're going to be supporting me. I've got my blossoming beach bum goals to look forward to!

Anyhow, one of the schools we interviewed at was called San Antonio Country Day Montessori School. And I was impressed with what they had to offer. We went through everything and was told to expect a phone call by the end of the week.

Well that phone call from the headmistress came yesterday morning. And unfortunately, I was already on the phone with my good friend Justin Nelson (You know, the friend who collects spoons) from up in Alaska.

So, instead of being rude to either person, I just put Headmistress Torres on a conference call so that all three of us could be on the phone. And for your enjoyment now, here is a transcript of that conversation:

Headmistress Torres: Good morning. Mr. Wolf?

Adrik: Yes! This is he. Is this Mrs. Torres from the Day School? And my friend Justin Nelson from Alaska is also on the phone. He collects spoons. I hope you don't mind.

Headmistress Torres: Oh no, that's fine. How are you doing today?

Justin: Hi! I'm not sure how I'm doing today.

Headmistress Torres: Oh. Okay. Ummm...

Adrik: I'm doing pretty good.

Headmistress Torres: Excellent. The reason I'm calling today is...

Justin: Why are you having such a good day today, Adrik?

Adrik: Well I got laid. Twice.

(Uncomfortable silence for about twenty seconds)

Justin: Hello?

Headmistress Torres: Hello? Adrik?

Adrik: Yes, I'm here.

Justin: I didn't get laid today. That probably would've helped.

Headmistress Torres: Um....who's the other gentleman on the line?

Adrik: That's Justin Nelson. The guy who didn't get laid.

Headmistress Torres: Okay. Justin Nelson.

Justin: That would have definitely cheered up my day. If I had gotten laid, that is. It's been kinda a rough day and I've been backed up for like two months now.

Headmistress Torres: So it sounds like you two...are...having a good day...

Adrik: Well I am. I'm having a good day because I got laid. Both before work and after work. Justin isn't having a good day though. He's backed up like two months...

Headmistress Torres: Okay. I was hoping we could have a constructive conversation with Mr. Wolf in regards to the future of his two children. That would be really great on my end.

Adrik: Oh, but we are. I'm all for constructive conversation.

Headmistress Torres: Ummm...

Justin: You just sorta threw us for a loop with that question.

Headmistress Torres: I see. So...I have the applications here in front of me. You are looking to have Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria start this August, correct?

Adrik: I can't believe you're backed up two months. Haven't you been hitting up any spoon conventions?

Justin: Yeah, it's been a while. I mean the Eskimo that I was banging left me, so that's why...yeah that's why I haven't gotten laid in a while.

Headmistress Torres: Mr. Wolf...we would love to have you come back in for a face-to-face follow up interview. When would be a good time for you and your children to stop in...

Justin: I can't believe you got laid twice.

Headmistress Torres: Okay. I think maybe I should call back at another time. I don't see this conversation being very constructive today.

Adrik: I don't see what the problem is.

Headmistress Torres: We really need to keep the conversation on a higher plane, shall we say, and not delve into such...personal matters.

Adrik: But you did ask how our days were going. We're just being honest. I'm doing pretty good because I'm getting laid like twice a day now, so it's pretty good. Justin...well you heard he's having some problems. I got laid twice in the last 24 hours, so I'm in a pretty good mood.

Headmistress Torres: I think it's best we continue this at another time. For now I will keep your applications on file...

Justin: I can't believe you're getting laid before work. Maybe I should move down there.

Adrik: I'm not going to sleep with you before going to work, Justin. We tried that before, remember? We were always late to the aeroport...

(Phone clicks and dial-tone heard on Headmistress Torres' end)

Thank goodness there's 71 other pre-schools in the San Antonio area to try!

Happy April Fool's Day everyone!

"You're not going to wear a pink shirt to the movies are you?"

"Why? What's wrong with the pink shirt? It's from the Blue Dog Café in Lafayette. A very good Cajun café. I was going to get the blue shirt, but they were out of blue shirts so I went the stylish route and got a pink one instead." I explained.

"I'm not saying that the subject matter is strange, it's just I never thought I'd see you in a pink shirt." Melissa responded.

"Well obviously you have yet to step into my vault," I replied. "The shirts inside those walls will make your imagination run wild."

Now before I continue this journal, I know you all are asking the same question. Adrik, who exactly is the Blue Dog? Well let me tell you.

The Blue Dog is a series of paintings by the great Louisiana artist George Rodrigue. The painting usually show a blue-hued dog looking with a blank empty expression at the viewer. The image is both scary and mystifying. And very haunting. I love the artwork and have several paintings hanging in my house. Do yourself a favour and look up some of his works. Truly fascinating and really makes even the most recreational of art aficionados appreciate his paintings.

And if you ever get to Lafayette, Louisiana, do yourself another favour and stop in at the Blue Dog Café. You won't regret it.

So anyways, back to the journal.

Because Melissa was certain that us going to the cinema with me wearing a pink shirt was going to be the thing that finally toppled the world into chaos, I agreed to change shirts so that way we could enjoy our night out without too much pinkness invading the atmosphere. So I hastily changed into my best Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers shirt (I do have 5 of them after all) and we headed out to go see both The Witch and Deadpool.

Deadpool was surprisingly good, despite me having very little understanding of what was going on. We didn't get to see The Witch because of technical issues at the theatre and it was too late by that point to go to another, so we just rescheduled that film for this upcoming weekend.

And yes, before you ask, we did take the children to go see Zootopia. Twice. Last weekend. Seeing it IMAX is the only way to see it. It's frickin awesome. And be sure to go to Toys R Us afterwards and stock up on Zootopia toys. For the kids. Of course...

And yes I do have Zootopia shirts on order. Should be here by the end of the week! Wooo!

Oh, I do see a paw raised in the back there. Go ahead with your question. Oh. I didn't cover that? I see. Well that's a very good question then.

I guess I failed to mention the new lady friend in my life. I actually mentioned it to a few lucky worshippers of mine on Skype, but wanted to have the relationship going for a month or so before I broke the news on here. I met a girl named Melissa back at the beginning of February when I was doing the yearly ritual of tax returns and accounting. She was from Alaska and heard me talking about Alaska for some reason and we got to talking and I somehow found the courage to ask her out to dinner to see if she wanted to continue the conversation and lo and behold, she said yes.

And that was 6 weeks ago.

We have been going out the last few weekends, taking the twins and her daughter (she has a 5 year old named Autumn) to movies and along the Riverwalk and to the outdoor markets and down to the shore. I've been getting so much sailing in the last few weekends. Oh I love sailing. I love the coast! Melissa enjoys it as well, so we've been getting a boat and spending our free weekends out on the Gulf.

I think I am going to take a portion of my tax refund and put it down on a beachfront house. And a boat. I know it sounds ludicrous, but I have renewed my love of the sea and I met someone who enjoys the adventure as much as I do, and let's face it, everybody loves a great beach house.

Plus, waterfront property is always a great investment. I figure if I can get a place of my own (no timeshares or vacation properties for this Wolf) for under $500,000 I'll be in good shape. We've actually looked at a couple places and my imagination is going wild. Until I find what's right, a place that's a couple hour drive for me and the twins and Melissa and her daughter to escape to on the weekends, I shall keep my eyes open and we will enjoy our weekend drives down and renting a boat to go out and stake our own little piece of nautical heaven.

So, yes, that's what's been going on with this Wolf for the past month and a half-ish. I'm sure some of you have noticed that I've been more productive and more upbeat lately...and that's the reason why.

That, and have you seen the way I'm killing things nationally in the polls? I'm so great that it's becoming a phenomenon! But you already knew that. You know what they say about a Wolf who has big paws and 5 awesome Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers shirts in his closet.

Yeah, you know.

By the way, would anyone be interested in buying any of my bottled water or Wolf-branded steaks? They have my face on them and ooze out all sorts of flavourful juices when you put them on the grill. Anyone?

Come on guys! I need to buy a beach house! Didn't you read my journal!

Oh what the heck do I care? You all know I'm big and great where it counts!

~Until next time!

Get your paws out of the M&M bowl and come gather round.

Yes, that's right. I'm here after yet another successful week of winning to let you all bask in the greatness that only I, Adrik Richard Wolf, everybody's shining star of absolute grandeur, can bestow upon your glistening eyes.

I'm a big Wolf with a new pair of solar shields and you know you can't look away. Big ass glasses, perfectly luscious hair, and that winning attitude that just makes you all go weak in the knees.

You know, it was only a few weeks ago where many of you didn't think this dream would go anywhere. There were many of you writing me off as a joke or a non-serious candidate, but look who has suddenly changed their tune. This month has been a month of winning and greatness and you all enjoyed being here to witness me hand out Adrik Wolf-sized thumpings to anyone who dared to get in my way. You know you want greatness and I am the only Wolf on here who can not only deliver that greatness, but deliver it without having any clear direction or solution other than saying "Trust me. Things are going to be great."

So much winning. Let's focus on the winning for a moment. Did you see how great I was last week? You all can admit you weren't expecting that. If you listened to the experts, the ones who claim to have a handle on these sorts of things and swear they have much nicer solar shields then yours truly, then you would have figured we were destined to be buried and forgotten a long time ago. But look at what's happening. I am winning, winning, winning.

And you're winning too. Not in the sense that I'm winning of course. I mean let's be serious here. There's only one Wolf who can handle this much greatness and take this much time into crafting such a remarkable parody. But you get to watch me become greater day by day and that's a good thing. You love watching me win.

It's going to be an amazing thing on Tuesday. I'm slated for a lot more winning. Alaska? You know I'm going to be great there. How can you have the name AlaskanWolf and not take Alaska? I mean come on. Vermont? Absolutely winning that place. I did things with a jug of maple syrup and a gypsy that those residents of Stovington are going to have seared into their memories forever. Great things. Sticky things. So many pancakes.

Let's see...what else. Michigan? Eh, I really don't care about Michigan. I can probably give that to some down on their luck soul who wants to have a taste of clearance-rack greatness. I've got to get onward to other things.

We'll save that state for Rubio.

Now Florida. Florida is all mine. They know greatness when they see it coming. I told them I was going to build a wall around the state to keep out the hurricanes and they ate it up like a Lean Cuisine dinner. They love me in Florida. I'm very popular down there. They love my plane as well. We flew over Florida last week to remind everyone about my amazingly great victories and they came out in droves to gaze upon me. It was great.

The only thing about Florida was we drove by an abandoned Jeb Bush campaign headquarters building on the way back to the aeroport and I must admit, I got spooked. Now don't worry...I'm fine. I'm too great to let a little thing like a deserted storefront ruffle my fur, but I will readily admit I was a little shaken by the experience. We slowed the convoy down as we drove by the derelict structure, and every member of my amazing team, but mainly me because I'm so great, could feel this overpowering sensation of dread and sadness. I was able to peer in through the windows and it reminded me of the Mary Celeste, the famous sailing vessel that was discovered out on the sea with no crew members aboard.

“Look at the debate prep notes still written on the whiteboards and the polling data piled on the desks―it’s as if people were working here like normal and they just suddenly disappeared,” I said to my driver, shuddering as I pointed to a half-spilled box of bumper stickers sitting near a dumpster and a limp, faded banner reading “Jeb!” dangling from a back wall. “I heard that sometimes, late at night, if you’re walking by this place, you can still hear the sound of Bush’s chief messaging officer walking him through his talking points. This place gives me the creeps.” Then there was a flash of lightning and that revealed the ghostly silhouette of a man who I believed to have been Bush’s senior strategist for South Carolina standing rigidly in a second-floor window, I had to let out a loud scream and we quickly sped away into the night.

It was a very harrowing experience, but I can say with confidence that I came out a winner and my greatness lives to fight another day. But come on Florida, you have to get rid of those ghosts of Jeb Bush. I can't be allowing you into the Adrik Wolf Greatness party with that hanging over your head. Do yourself a favour and send all that Jeb! nonsense to Michigan.

As for me, I'm in Houston for the weekend, hanging out with AC/DC and spreading the gospel of greatness to all who would die without hearing it. My message is strong and my solar shields are new. Am I worried about what's coming up for the month of March?

Ha!

Have you seen my poll numbers? This thing is as good as mine! You can't touch this greatness and you certainly don't want me going away anytime soon. I'm the greatest thing that's every happened to you all. I know you aren't going to give it up so easily.

We have a lot more winning to do. And luckily I love the uneducated masses who worship me like the god that I am!

Unless you're from Michigan. I can't help you with that. Sorry.

~Adrik

Why hello.

I didn't see you come in. Please, take a seat. Don't be afraid of all this greatness.

Just a quick recap of the last week. It's been a great week. The hair; beautiful. It's looking good, really great hair, very healthy, very vibrant. My poll numbers; also great. FurAffinity has me polling at 38%, which is great for one fur to have with so many other furs in the field. Greatest numbers they have ever seen. They love me. You love me. Everybody loves me. Ghosts love me.

So being a great thinker, I decided that this week I should open up the forum to you, the furs who love me. I've been getting a lot of notes. Great notes. My inbox is the biggest inbox with the greatest notes ever. And it would be great of me to dig through those great notes and pick out the best questions that you, the commonsense furs who have the pressing questions of the day, have asked me. You want to know where I stand on the important issues and I will answer them with the greatness and integrity that only I, Adrik Wolf, can deliver.

Let's get started:

Charlotte C. of Corpus Christi writes: Dear Adrik, I think you're the greatest. My question is about education. I'm a Vixen in my twenties who feels that a college education will be unattainable for me because of the rising costs. My family immigrated here from Mexico and even though my parents work hard running a small grocery store, I just feel like we will never get ahead and any hope of me being able to afford my higher education is a fleeting dream. What can you, being as great as you are, do for struggling millennials like myself?

That's a great question, Charlotte. I am the greatest. I went to a great college. Got a great degree in biology. Do you want to know how I became a winner? By being so great. Let me share this anecdote about a struggling fur I met in Baton Rouge the other day. She was pretty much in your position; young, scared about the future, had loser parents who couldn't run a business. They were good furs, they really were, but they were narrow-minded and pathetic small-time losers who don't have an eighth of my business skills. The fact that they can't send their daughter to college is a clear example of their incompetence and total lack of qualifications for the job and that their “embarrassing rinky-dink operation is peanuts” compared to The Wolf Organisation, which makes amazingly great business deals everyday. I remember the parents talking directly to me, seeking my wisdom, and I said to myself: “These bozos has no idea what they are doing. In fact, they might be the worst small business owners in the entire state of Louisiana. I could run a small neighbourhood store that’s 1,000 times better than these lightweight’s. But they are so worried their kids may not be able to go to college, and it’s no surprise, given how stupid those little slobs sounded when I talked to them. I’m telling you, this family has no shot. No shot.” I had to call it like I saw it, reminding them that under my administration, I will buy out morons like this family and turn their businesses into the finest, top-of-the-line moneymakers.

Thanks for the question.

Next, we have a letter from a rancher from Nevada. William J. of Virginia City writes:

Dear Adrik Wolf: You're great. I'm so blessed to wake up everyday and know you are out there with that amazing hair and fighting to make sure that the world knows how great you are. My question is regarding the federal government and grazing rights on federal lands. I have a large ranch with over 3000 head of cattle and am afraid my family traditions will be trampled by an overreaching federal government. What would you do to ensure that generations of future ranchers are not held hostage by a tyrannical government who wishes to take away their private property rights?

Look. That's a great question. I love Nevada. I met some great showgirls in Las Vegas. They could do things with a set of jumper cables and a bowl of jelly beans that most could only dream of. I also love cattle. Cattle love me. Look, I have great cattle. I've been around cattle my entire life and let me tell you this. I have cattle that are at least 600 times bigger than yours. Your cows are small and scrawny, and you should be embarrassed to milk them. In fact, let me add that each of my cows, and I have thousands of them, are the size of “at least” a dozen Cadillacs and have “udders that’ll make your head spin.” No one raises cattle as gigantic or successful as I do; everyone knows that. My cattle are winners, and you people would be lucky to have them graze in Nevada. And while we are on the topic of farm freshness, let me remind you that the apple pie at Nevada Nancy's Roadside Diner in Sparks was a disgrace and that my pies are a mile wide, with a perfect crust that made all the losers jealous. Thanks for your question.

Now onto the topic of illegal immigration. Jose Nevurro from Salinas California writes:

Dear Adrik: Even though we admire your greatness, we got a message for you, Holmes. We ain't goin' back to Mexico, puto. What do you say about that?

Look. First of all, yes, yes you are. Second, it's pronounced 'Pluto' and I will be making it a planet again. It's going to happen. In fact, once it regains it's planetary status, it might be a better place to send all the Mexicans. You know what? I'm about to make space travel great again. I've got the best space ships. Have you seen my intergalactic cruisers? They're Yyyy...uuuuuuugggggeeeeee!

And finally, Maria Warren from New York City writes:

Dear Adrik: I'm very worried about the world situation today. With terrorism, the economy, global warming, uprisings in the Middle East, racism, police brutality, government overreach, falling oil prices, and a general feeling that we just aren't winning at anything anymore, is there anything your greatness can do to get us back on track?

That's a great question. Probably the greatest question I've ever let you ask me. Look, I have five key solutions on how to make the world great again. For all the problems you just listed, once I get into the position to handle them, I'm just going to take of them. It's just going to happen. I'll stand behind my podium and bang my paw on the edge and say "Look...these problems...I'm going to solve them." And take my word for it. I will take care of them.

How's that for greatness? You must feel so inspired after reading this. And you should feel inspired. I bring inspiration wherever I go. I bring the best inspiration. Like I said, everyone loves me.

Well, that's it for this town hall meeting. I hope you bathed in my greatness and not to worry...this golden dirigible of hope and greatness is going to be around for a long, long time. But for now I have to go spend the next six hours combing my hair.

Until next time!

~AdrikWolf '16

Commentary by the Great Adrik Wolf:

The latest polls are out, and just as I predicted, I’m leading the FurAffinity Greatness race by a wide margin. You might be wondering how that could be. After all, it’s hardly been a month since I entered the field and I’ve already alienated America’s largest furry population, seen dozens of my high-profile writing projects skyrocket to greatness one after the other, and publicly handed 9/11-style ass-kicking a to that schlub Jeb!! who thought he could step up to this and not get wrecked, all while not offering a single viable policy idea. But none of that matters at all, and my candidacy continues to surge forward, because none of you—not a single one of you—can look away. Not even for a second.

Admit it: You all want to see just how far this goes, don’t you?

My campaign’s just barely begun and I’ve already got you begging for more. Sure, you can say you oppose me or that you don’t even take me seriously. But let me ask you: How many articles have you read about Ted Cruz lately? How many news segments have you watched on Marco Rubio or Ben Carson recently? But if those stories have the name “Adrik Wolf” and "Greatness" in them, well, look who suddenly can’t get enough.

The thing is, I’ve got all of you eating out of my paw and I haven’t even released a single campaign commercial yet. Don’t look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to stick around and see what that looks like, because you and I both know these ads are going to be absolutely incredible. The greatest ads ever. I’ll be standing there projecting my best presidential air, saying “I’m Adrik Wolf, I'm really, really great, and I approve this message,” and you won’t be able to take your eyes off it.

You keep obsessing over every little thing I do and say, and I promise you’ll get your commercials real soon. Really great commercials. The greatest. Trust me.

And the TV spots are just the beginning. I know you, and I know what you like. You’ll absolutely eat it up when you see the “AdrikWolf ’16” T-shirts, the lawn signs, the bumper stickers; in fact, you’ll probably get a real kick out of pointing them out to your friends. Now, just imagine me shaking paws with animators at Pixar Studios. Wouldn’t you love to watch that? Or hear what comes out of my mouth when I speak to blue-collar illustrators at a struggling online anthropomorphic comic book website?

You say that doesn’t interest you? Oh, right, because you’re dying to see how Jeb Bush interacts with the furry community, right? Give me a break.

Just take a moment and imagine the all of the future debates: Jeb Bush, that loser; Ted Cruz; me. Of course, they’ll put me in the middle because I’m ahead in the polls—far ahead at the moment. You already know how I answer even the most basic inquiries, so just picture me staring down the barrel of a question about foreign affairs or agriculture policy or something like that. You think you won’t sit there with bated breath while I try to tackle a question about using military force, or about food stamps, or about how my greatness influences my decision-making? I guarantee you that my answers will be worth watching. They will be the greatest answers ever. And we both know you wouldn’t miss them for the world. It’d be the biggest, most-watched primary debate in history, courtesy of all of you.

And might I remind you that the longer this goes on, the closer I get to selecting a running mate. That realisation kind of delighted you in a way, didn’t it? You absolutely want to know who I’d pick. A defeated DeviantArt challenger who hates my guts? Another lunatic millionaire? Maybe my own son, Phillip Connor Wolf? Whatever your wildest expectation is, I promise you I will surpass it. You’re not going to pass up an opportunity to see that, are you?

I can tell you’re practically salivating right now. And I’m going to keep riding this fascination, this little fixation you have with me as far as you’ll take me. You know I will.

So don’t try to tell me you’d be just as happy to watch one of these other bozos go toe-to-toe with Hillary Clinton or give a soaring speech at the national convention. And don’t delude yourself into thinking it’s everyone else who wants to watch me do this and you’re somehow above it. You want to see it. You want more. You hear “Adrik Wolf's Greatness” and your attention snaps to the TV screen right away.

Don’t think it’s true? Fine. You know what you have to do to make me go away. Just quit paying attention. Stop reading this right now.

That’s right, I didn’t think so. I have the power to make the next 10 months one of the most incredible times in our nation’s history, and not a single one of you can say you’re not at least a little bit curious to see how this wild ride shakes out. So just keep clicking every link that mentions my name and hitting play on every clip of my public appearances, and I promise you will not be disappointed.

Now, excuse me, but I have to go appear at a South Carolina town hall and make a statement that every last one of you will be eagerly reading about and discussing in just a few hours’ time.

You know you love it.

~AdrikWolf '16 "It's Time To Make AdrikWolf Great Again!"

Congratulations. You're reading an Adrik Wolf journal.

You know, back in 2015 when I decided it was time to make AdrikWolf great again, I was met with a lot of skepticism. I mean in reality, the greatness of Adrik Wolf has been going strong for so many years. In exploded in 1985 when I, Adrik Wolf, arrived on the scene and the word 'greatness' was thoroughly redefined.

For 31 years Adrik Wolf has brought greatness to the world and for that, the world thanks me.

And I accept your thanks. You need to be thanking me. I'm a great fur. I do great things. I do so many great things that you'll soon be sick of all the greatness.

Oh who am I kidding. You'll never get sick of my greatness.

I'm not bragging when I flaunt my greatness. I have experience in being great. My record of great achievements proves that. What other furs do you know can preach about so many great accomplishments and still offer you more greatness just when you think the greatness can't get any more great?

Adrik Wolf is one of those great furs. Nobody can be as great of a fur as I can be. I have great ideas and I surround myself with great furs. These furs are very smart and very great and they believe in my greatness.

Taking care of issues without offering any details or straightforward solutions is also a show of my greatness. Our furry community is great, but it's being run by very stupid furs who are probably terrorists and bleeding out of their...who knows where. But let's not focus on that because we want to focus on the greatness.

It's time we start being great again. Not just Adrik Wolf great, but great in our whole community. We are being beaten in the greatness game by furry communities in China and Mexico and probably Finland and I don't want to see it continue. I have a great plan to make our furry community great again, but instead of going into details right now, just take my word for it.

It's going to be great.

You know, I was up in Iowa this past week, spreading my message of greatness. Since 2015 ended, more furs have been receptive to my message of greatness. They are sick of hearing that Adrik Wolf isn't being as great as he needs to be and they are willing to step up to help my greatness reach new heights.

But we can't rely on just the furs in Iowa to make me great. Next week I will be in New Hampshire making sure our fellow furs up there are aware of my greatness. And from there it's onwards to South Carolina and beyond, spreading the greatness that is Adrik Wolf.

2016 is the year to make AdrikWolf great again. You know you want to climb aboard this train of greatness and ride the rails to success! I don't have a plan or any idea of what to do once we reach that zenith of being great, but don't worry.

I have enough greatness to reassure you that whatever I do throughout the year, it's going to be great.

~AdrikWolf '16 "It's Time To Make AdrikWolf Great Again!"

Well I'm writing this journal from in front of the house where I was born in Warrington, the United Kingdom, 31 years ago.

Why did I come all the way to my birth home you may ask? Well the answer is simple. You see, I was born in this terrace house back on 17/January/1985...and I intend to DIE there.

So, every year on my birthday, I fly over to England and make the journey to the house where I was born just on the off-chance that I may die. Of course it hasn't happened yet, seeing as 30 other birthdays have come and gone without me dying in the house where I was born, but I don't want to take any chances.

The people that live there now are very nice. They've grown accustomed to my visits and will have a birthday cake ready and waiting for me. As well as some very delicious tea. This year they made a Tres Leches cake. Very MOIST and very tasty. We enjoyed it while waiting for my doctor to arrive and confirm that I was indeed, not going to die.

Like I said...you can never be too careful.

So we enjoyed our cake and tea and they wished me a Happy Birthday and my doctor and I shared a cab ride back to the aeroport. I wanted to get back home. It was very cold and rainy in Warrington.

So there you go. I turned 31 years old today. Yay.

How have I been doing? Well I've been very busy with work upon returning home after the New Year. I've been having good days and bad days. Some days I can hold the depression at bay and put on that mask to show others that I'm doing fine and no need to worry about me. Other days...I don't know. I fight with inner self trying to feel better and not dwell on things I can't change. I am going out for a birthday breakfast with the twins at eight. I'm letting them think they are treating me. It brings a smile to my face and I know they will get a kick out of it. Afterwards they want to buy me a birthday gift or two. I will let them take as long as they want and will give them a wink at the fact that I'm pretty much buying my own gift. They will understand when they get older. For know I'm going to go along with it.

I'm not expecting a phone call or message from Nicole. She wished me a Happy Birthday along with a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year back in December. So I guess that's that. *shrugs* I know I should try to move on...but its difficult. I feel that emptiness day in and day out. It's not easy...but I try.

I don't know. There's more I guess. I really can't get into it right now. But that's the main things that have been going on. I do have to get around and head out, before the breakfast crowds start gathering. I just wanted to let everyone know I'm doing okay (well, the best I can pretend to feel) and will have more news and such later on in the week when I have time.

Take care and I will catch up with you all soon.

"Society's just another word for let's pretend we're not all skeletons"

~AdrikWolf '16

Greetings Music Lovers!

It's possible that some of you may have developed a bad attitude towards Christmas! Really? Is that because you didn't have my list of fantastic Christmas songs to help you tolerate the festive good cheer and remember what the season is all about last year? Yes, that's exactly what I thought. We all have memories of Christmas past, both good and bad. But what makes your memories any better, or any worse than anyone else's? What's important to remember this jolly time of year is that your old pal Adrik has been working hard all year long to bring you the Christmas songs that will make you smile and cringe and shake your head in wonder. So gather around my yule log and clamour in anxious anticipation over my sweet Christmas offerings.

A grand shout-out goes to who helped me pick out some of the sultry Christmas tunes that made this year's list of the best warped songs that you will be adding to your holiday playlist for future play during your Christmas caroling and when you all gather around the tree to open presents and ponder the three concepts of Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas. Or the true meaning of hating everything about Christmas. Or you just love offending people by your delicious taste in holiday music. No matter the reason, I offer you these delightful yuletide offerings and hope they make your suffering through this horrid holiday a little better.

#1)" Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas" by Crudbump


#2) "Naughty or Nice" by Francine the Queen of The Obscene


#3)"I Wanna Rock U Hard This Christmas" by The Dan Band


#4) "If It Doesn't Snow On Christmas" by Joe Pesci (aka Vincent LaGuardia Gambini)


#5) "Merry Fucking Christmas" by Denis Leary


#6) "Christmas Waltz (Fuck That)" by Erin McKeown


#7) "Give The Jew Girl Toys" by Sarah Silverman


#8) "Merry Fuckin' Christmas" by Larry Pierce


#9 "Gangsta Rap Christmas" by No Talent


#10.) "Why Don't You Go Fuck Yourself (This Christmas) by Niki Luparelli


And as an extra special present from me to you...here is a bonus video from the Columbus, Ohio-based artist Crudbump, who's song made #1 on our list this year. Don't ask me to explain it or tell you why I love it so much. There's just something about 1970's public domain educational films and plastic shark heads singing about grilling asses that enlightens me. My gift to you-

Bonus present!

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm going to find a case of bourbon and drown this horrible year in alcohol until 2016 dawns on us!

Until next time!

~Adrik

Glennallen, Alaska- With temperatures forecasted to be well below zero and another wave of snowstorms projected to hit the Glennallen area in the next few days, former resident and visiting dignitary Adrik Wolf reportedly decided to allow his Britton Norman Islander to stay inside the house during the cold, frigid Alaskan nights.

"It's a bit of a change since moving down South," Adrik told reporters at a press conference Thursday. "Down in Louisiana and Texas we maybe had to worry about temperatures in the high twenties at worst. But up here, it's an entirely different climate. And sadly, my aeroplane wasn't used to such extremes. I felt it only humane to allow the plane to sleep indoors until the weather clears up."

"Seeing the aircraft, with a wingspan of almost fifty feet, sitting out in the snow and freezing cold just broke my heart," Adrik continued. "I mean the Britton has it's own special shelter to get out of the elements, but it just sits in front of it, looking at the living room windows longingly."

Added Adrik as he affectionately rubbed the ice-cold nose-cone of the left propeller. "How could anyone with a heart say no to leaving such a loyal aircraft out in the snow? So I brought it in to get toasty and be closer to the rest of the family."

Originally, Adrik and his two children had prepared a spot in the kitchen for the 35 foot aeroplane to idle quietly until it warmed up, but daughter Savannah Maria could tell that the family aircraft wanted to be closer to the others.

That's when Father Wolf relented and moved the large pillow into the living room next to the fireplace and the Islander was able to snuggle up with the twins and share hot cocoa and marshmallows.

As of press time, Adrik was reportedly irritated after realising the Islander had left slushy snow tracks all over the kitchen and living room floors.

2015.

From the heart-wrenching international news of terrorist shootings, to the biggest and hard-hitting national coverage of mass-shootings, to the noteworthy local stories of police shootings, only one trusted fur stood by your side and nurtured the troubled masses through this monumental roller-coaster ride of a year that was 2015.

That fur was me. Adrik Wolf. The living legend. The true Donald Trump of Furaffinity.

We could talk about greatness. We could talk about my greatness. I am a great fur. I do great things. Monumentally great things. Some have compared me to a great god. Whenever someone is having a casual conversation and the name of Adrik Wolf is invoked, greatness immediately follows.

And now 2015 is drawing near a close. We have a mission ahead of us. A destiny. We need to bond together to ensure greatness continues to thrive. We need to welcome in 2016 by continuing to make Adrik Wolf great again.
Before I write my next journal, outlining how we will all make Adrik Wolf great again, let me please your palate by offering my yearly ‘End of The Year Greatness Meme’. An ongoing tradition for over 500 years, Adrik Wolf offers up a list of memorable events from the year we have all lived and offers you, my loyal and trusted followers, the chance to pick the most popular events of 2015 for which inspired and touched us the most. When all the questions have been answered and your selections posted, the results will be tallied and my end of the year round-up will be announced!

So without further ado….let us look back on 2015 and bask in all the greatness that was the year we all agreed to Make Adrik Wolf Great Again!

1.) Who Inspired You Most In 2015?
A.) Cecil the Lion (Honoured as the first wild animal to ever be killed)
B.) Star Wars: The Force Awakens marketing team
C.) Some diseased kid
D.) Gha’aragoth, the God of Lust
E.) Fucking Refugees

2.) What Was The Best Pop Moment Of 2015 For Your Pitiful Ass?
A.) KONO 101.1 FM’s Get The Led Out Led Zeppelin Labour Day Weekend
B.) The epic feud between Israel and Palestine
C.) One Direction fan Emily Pontzer cutting ties with the band to focus on her clay pottery
D.) Just happening to come across Tomorrowland on Disney Channel right at the beginning
E.) Discovering that nobody cares dick about your life on Instagram. Just like Facebook, Skype, Steam, Tumblr…

3.) Have You Been Working Out In 2015?
A.) Little bit, little bit
B.) Jazzercise every Thursday and Saturday
C.) Just the forearms, but damn what a difference
D.) Oh yeah…hardcore
E.) Baby, God just made the clay…I’ve got to sculpt it

4.) What Spring Break 2015 Vacation Package Did You Splurge On?
A.) 6 Days, 1 Night Bahama-Rama Cruise
B.) Slammin’ Safari’s 7-day Rhino-provoking Tour
C.) La Crosse, Wisconsin’s All-Nite Library Reference Room Crawl
D.) Authentic ‘Crops-Don’t-Stop’ Farmhand experience
E.) All-Inclusive 5150 Involuntary Psychiatric Hold

5.) What Was The Biggest News Story Of 2015?
A.) Bill Cosby’s actions in 2015, 2014, 2010, 2004, 1995, 1994, 1992, 1988, 1986, 1985, 1982, 1979, 1977, 1973, and 1971
B.) Completely coincidental string of totally isolated incidents of police brutality committed against minorities
C.) Apple products?
D.) Jim and Kathy finally being able to find a buyer for their house after having it on the market for 18 months!
E.) Something to do with lawyers, guns and money.

6.) What Would You Like To See More Of In 2016?
A.) Greatness. (Particularly the Adrik Wolf variety)
B.) Pornography
C.) Modern twists on traditional Portuguese cuisine
D.) Things being exposed and/or coming to light
E.) Dad

7.) What Was The Most Controversial New Parenting Blog Of 2015?
A.) Occasional Mommy
B.) The Joyless Breeder
C.) Let The Nanny Do That
D.) Your Child Is One Of Billions
E.) Get the Belt

8.) How Did We Ruin Valentine’s Day For 2015?
A.) By offering constructive criticism
B.) Chocolates a pathetic 35% cacao
C.) Playing guitar under wrong window
D.) Taking little bites out of most of the flowers
E.) Announcing yet another pregnancy

9.) What Do You Think Was The Top Issue Facing The World in 2015?
A.) Finding creative ways to perpetuate farce of global warming from our air-conditioned private jets
B.) Planned Parenthood’s use of fetal tissue parts to clone homosexuals
C.) Whether or not to just get the combo meal instead of just the sandwich alone
D.) Whether Cedric Villani’s theories on convergence to equilibrium for spatially inhomogeneous kinetic equations can truly yield accurate estimates for solutions to the Boltzmann equation.
E.) How a boy as handsome as Brandon is still single

10.) What Did You Cut Back On in 2015?
A.) Abortion Rights
B.) Tolerance towards the Irish
C.) Nonessential yacht staff
D.) Cartons of ice cream against cartons of sherbet ratio
E.) Human contact

11.) To-Go Boxes We Forgot At Restaurants In 2015
A.) Shrimp Fried Rice (Not a lot was left, but it would have made a great snack for later)
B.) Prime Rib Dinner (That shit cost us what…like $32? Goddamnit!)
C.) Three slices of Little Caesars Pizza! Pizza! (Fuck…left it right on the table. Ugh.)
D.) Mushroom Risotto (That would have been perfect for lunch. Instead we had to go all the way to Denny’s and pay $7.99 for a turkey club. Fucking fuck)
E.) Penne Alla Vodka (We really thought Luke grabbed both take away boxes, but apparently he only grabbed his. Fucking thoughtless prick)


12.) How Are You Getting Into The Christmas Spirit This Year?
A.) Studying names of extended family and committing them to memory
B.) Illegally downloading A Charlie Brown Christmas
C.) Thinking about the fact that we really don’t feel at home anywhere anymore
D.) Same as always. Making voodoo dolls of the ones we hate and making sure our needles are nice and sharp
E.) Slashing prices across the board on all Samsung electronics

13.) How Many Fireflies Did You Catch This Summer?
A.) 7
B.) 12.5
C.) 14,716
D.) None. I devoted my efforts to capturing ladybugs this year
E.) 3

14.) Why Did We Put Up Our Favourite Pet For Adoption In 2015?
A.) Stopped being the best dog in the world
B.) Ran out of cat food
C.) Gave it wrong name
D.) Forgot alligators have teeth
E.) Can’t keep up with ever-changing demands of goldfish

15.) How Did We Make A Difference In 2015?
A.) Gave a thumbs-up to kid reading a book
B.) Serving rude customers a little slower
C.) Pretending to recycle when we have guests over
D.) Suppressing nearly every impulse
E.) Not procreating

16.) What Did Strangers Put In Our Halloween Candy This Year?
A.) Season one DVD of Murder, She Wrote
B.) Directions to missing prostitute
C.) Heartworm pill
D.) Candy feedback survey and postage-paid return envelope
E.) 10-page liability waiver

17.) What Did We Finally Grow Out Of In 2015?
A.) Obsession with Phil Collins
B.) Crying whenever the beets touch the chicken
C.) Being bass player for Green Day
D.) All-consuming desire to avenge father’s death
E.) Footie pyjamas

18.) What Are You Saving For 2016?
A.) Complaints about Internet Provider
B.) Last eight minutes of Spectre
C.) Colonoscopy
D.) Uptown Girl/Tell Her About It/Piano Man encore
E.) Green bean casserole

19.) Which Baby Toy Recalls Of 2015 Had Us Worried The Most?
A.) Tall Like Mommy Baby Stilts
B.) Tonka Trash Compactor
C.) Little Miss Boiling Water
D.) Bath Weights
E.) Baby Einstein Reactor Rods

20.) What Will You Be Doing To Make Your 2016 New Year’s Day Party The Best Ever?
A.) Setting out a single loaf of multigrain bread for guests to snack on during the party
B.) Giving your home that Times Square atmosphere by urinating all over your floor, tossing around a bunch of crushed paper cups, and hanging up an electronic sign that says “M&M World.”
C.) If things get dull, invite your guests to play traditional New Year’s games such as Jak And Daxter: The Precursor Legacy, Jak II, Jak 3, Jak And Daxter: The Lost Frontier, and Jak X: Combat Racer
D.) Have everyone in attendance write their New Year’s resolutions on a scrap of paper and place them in a hat. Then, sometime around midnight when you’ve had too much to drink, place the hat on your head while you scream that you fucking hate everyone there.
E.) Just like last year…tell yourself that your guests are fucking disgusting, grubby pigs. They’re loud and messy, and look what they did to your goddamn living room. They say they’re good to drive, so just let them. Jesus, just get them the fuck out. Fuck them. Fuck New Year’s. Fuck 2016.


And there it is! Adrik Wolf’s End of 2015 Meme questionnaire bullshit whatever something or other. If you bothered to read all of the questions, submit your answers in the comments below. If you didn’t, eh, what do I care. I’m leaving for Alaska at the end of the week to take my usual vacation until after the New Years. So just have a chuckle or two and remember how great I am.

Seriously though. I am a great fur. Remember that when you are opening your Christmas gifts and drinking your hot cocoa. I’ve been giving you greatness since 2007. You’re welcome.

And no worries…this won’t be my last post of the year. I’ll have a few more things for you before 2016 comes rushing in. So enjoy and until next time…

Don’t forget to Keep Making Adrik Wolf Great!

~Adrik

Commentary by Adrik Wolf:

Like most parents, I spend a lot of time thinking about the future my children will inherit and the exciting possibilities that await them. I would love for them to have the chance to achieve their dreams, to be able to go places I’ve never been to and do things I’ve never done. What matters to me most in the world, I’ve come to realise, is that my kids grow up to have a better nightlife than I had.

Nothing would make me happier than if my children were better off than I was, with so many more opportunities to hit the hottest clubs, exclusive foam parties, and underground techno DJ duels.

It can be tough out there, that’s for sure. Ever since I turned 18, I’ve been working it six nights a week, from nine until five in the morning. It seems like I’m rushing out the front door each evening, still putting my glitter on my face and with barely a chance to say goodbye to my kids, and then I’m off to Elysium for four hours before catching the bus across town to a second club, Nebula. And that doesn’t even include the after-hours club I hit up on the weekends. It’s hard getting busy like that every night, all the while struggling just to keep the cover charges paid.

That’s not the nightlife I want for my children.

No, when I envision what’s ahead for my kids, I see a much brighter future. I see opportunity, prosperity, clubs with three levels of dance floors and a fucking killer mix of dubstep, industrial, and Europop jams. I get so proud when I think of my kids―the pride and joy of my life―being up there one day on suede lounge sofas, receiving their very own bottle service! Can you even imagine that―my kids at the chicest hotspots, where top celebrities have been known to make an appearance? It almost brings a tear to my eye. You see, 20 years from now, I don’t want my children worrying about how they’re going to afford Euphoria by Calvin Klein and firm-hold hair product. I want the bouncer to know their name and wave them on through.

I truly believe my kids deserve a nightlife in which no VIP room is beyond their reach.

When I was younger, I didn’t have a lot of opportunities to party. I certainly didn’t have world-class DJs like Skrillex, Tiësto, and Afrojack spinning for me―far from it. I owned one skintight crop top, and I’d go out every night of the week trying to find a good club, sometimes waiting in line for hours only to realise the place was so exclusive I could never get in. If I did make it past the velvet rope, I had to make do with well vodka. I don’t want my children to go through that. I want them to have their choice of Absolut, Belvedere, Svedka, or Grey Goose in any flavour they choose.

A nightlife free of hardships like weak kamikazes or uneven guy-to-girl ratios―that’s the promise I’ve made to my kids.

When my great-grandparents first came to this country seeking a better nightlife, they didn’t know any of the right people, and they were certainly never on the guest list. While there were far more clubbing opportunities here than back in the old country, they were often denied admittance simply because of the way they looked and dressed. But they partied hard and persevered. My parents’ nightlives were a vast improvement, even though they had little to dance to besides disco and never had access to quality club drugs. Meanwhile, I’m proud to be the first member of my family to get into Club Altitude, and I made sure to take full advantage of that pulsating house music and pure, uncut MDMA.

But I want even better for my children.

However, as much as I’d love for my children to have access to all the underground trance clubs, I still lie awake wondering if their future won’t all be body shots and underlit dance floors. It breaks my heart to think that they could wind up wasting away in dead-end clubs that don’t even have live DJs―just prerecorded playlists. No parent should let their children inherit a scene like that.

As for now, though, I’ll just keep on grinding under the strobe lights each night, hoping for the best, dreaming that one day, my kids will take their old man with them to the sickest unmarked all-night warehouse rave in the city.

And also Lo-bos. I wasn't going to leave you out either. I just didn't have the room in the header.

So, we finally reached the most momentous day in all of time-travelling movie history! As I was sitting here, enjoying my morning tea and reading through all of my faxes, I remembered that today is a red-letter day in history. Wait...reading through your FAXES? Yes, you heard me correctly. It is 2015 after all, and faxing is the preferred method of communication. Why, I am so in touch with the future that I've got a fax machine in every room of my house.

That's what you call tech-savvy.

Ahh, yes. the glory of the fantastic Back To The Future series. I could be like everyone else and rant about what the movie BTTF Part 2 got wrong and was sort of accurate on, but by gosh there are enough articles in USA Today and Daily Mail and Tumbler and Instagram and Fox News and CNN and BBC and National Geographic and Quilting Daily....well you get the idea....but I know that no one here is interested in another rehash of the pros and cons of this great movie.

So instead, I'm going to share a bit of young Adrik Wolf history with you all and tell you about how I NEVER got to see the original release of BTTF Part 2 in the cinemas.

It was back in 1989 and I was a young Wolf of only 4 years old, but my hair was starting to grow out feathered like a member of the Bee Gees and the Wolf family Hi-Fi stereo unit in the living room was freshly adourned with Phil Collin's ...But Seriously album. I was still living in the United Kingdom at that time and can remember growing up watching endless Fraggle Rock and Dooby Duck's Disco Bus...

I'm not making that up. I remember seeing a show with puppets and a singing duck. Although Dooby did have a killer disco jacket. That thing had flair...

People wonder why I'm so traumatised as an adult...

But anyways...we only had like seven channels on the television if I remember correctly. It was 1989 and I was 4! Give me some credit here. But I do remember having Micro Machines! Those were so fun to play with! I also had this really great aeroport playset...it was by Fisher-Price, because I still have it today...and I had all kinds of planes and would fly all over the house for hours on end.

I also remember that The Cure was always playing on the record player. Don't ask me to explain that one.

Anyhow, I remember it being close to Christmastime, like a month away I believe, and Mommy and Daddy Wolf were putting on their evening coats to go out for a night while young Adrik was to stay indoors. Well I wasn't having any of that and I asked them where they were going.

"Why, we are going to the theatre for the evening to see a new movie," My father told me.

"Which movie? Can I go?" I asked. And I'm sure it wasn't as precise as that. It was more along the lines of..."I shall hurry upstairs and dress myself properly so I may accompany you on your journey into town for food and drink and entertainment." Remember, I was 4 years old.

"No, no, no son. This is an event for your mother and I. A night out for us." Father replied.

"But Dadddddddd! What movie are you going to see?"

"Back to the Future Part 2,"

"I want to go to that!" And I really did! I could remember see the movie previews and thinking they were soooo awesome! I mean, the future! Flying cars! Sharks! That's sort of what I only can remember. But nonetheless, I wanted to go!

Of course my mother would have none of that. Cue Jewish motherly now: "Listen. Adrik. You wouldn't understand what is going on in this mov-ie. Believe you me. You wouldn't know what was going on and you would be bored and start talking and asking questions and you would ruin everything for your father and I. Believe you me. You would have more fun staying home and watching Fraggle Rock and listening to The Cure. Play with your little Micro Machines and maybe Nanny Sophie will let you make cookies later."

"Nanny Sophie! I don't want to stay here with Nanny Sophie! I want to go to the theatre with you!"

"Listen." Mother said in her stern, Jewish voice that meant don't push the issue or else you will have a perturbed Jewish woman on your paws. "This movie is a sequel and you never saw the first one, so you won't have any clue what is going on. Believe you me. There is nothing worse than trying to watch a movie without knowing what is going on. I remember going to see that dreadful Jaws: The Revenge without ever seeing any of the other movies beforehand. And believe you me, your father said I was being such a kvetch that he swore to never take me to a theatre again!"

"That's true!" My father broke in. "She was kvetching about this and that! Made me tsetummelt! Oh vez mear! I am not going through that again! You stay at home with Nanny Sophie so that I may have a little peace and enjoy once a movie without my ears being talked off! Everyone! All the time! Just trying to be noodges! Oy vey!"

"Your father's right. You don't want to be a noodge. You stay here and play with your toys and when we get back we will tell you all about the movie. Besides, filthy things those theatres are. So many nudniks about and all that unhealthy popcorn and soda! Believe you me! Once they get that soda in you, that's all you ever want to drink! And the weather outside is a fright! All that cold and wet! You can't very well play pilot with the sniffles now can you?"

"I...I suppose not...?"

"That's right! You're my little mensch to the world...my little ambassador... and you can't be putting on a proper face with a runny nose and the coughing and the fever! In fact, I better tell Nanny Sophie to make up some soup just in case!"

At this point I would like to interject by saying that I do believe Sophie is a strictly BRITISH name because I have YET to meet anyone else with the name of Sophie...

"But I promise not to get sick! And I won't ask questions! I promise!"

"Adrik...what year were you born?" My mother asked me. I had to count on my fingers to do the math.

"1985..."

"That's right! And the first Back To The Future movie was released in 1985. Did you go to see that one?"

"Noooo...I was just a baby..."

"Exactly! And believe you me! Babies do not remember things like Back To The Future movies! They remember things like oatmeal and their bris! Now you make your mum proud by staying indoors, staying warm, not eating any sugars, and stop worrying about such silly things as movies. If you behave, your father and I will bring you home a nice toy plane to go with all your others."

"A DC-3!" I yelled, getting excited. They are my favourite plane afterall. ^ ^

"Yes then. A DC-3. We shall see. Now be a good little boychick and don't give Nanny Sophie any trouble!"

Anyways...they went out to the movie and left me home to play with my Micro Machines and watch probably Fraggle Rock or Captain Pugwash...how the hell can I remember...and I spent most of that night thinking that they were probably seeing the coolest movie ever. And yes, more adverts were playing on the television as that evening wore on...but the kicker came when I was laying in bed, full of soup and oatmeal raisin cookies and heard my parents return home and rant and rave about how grand the movie was!

Damn!

So as punishment, the next time they left me home while they went out I punished them by tearing apart the stereo system. No more Cure for them for a month! I hid the components all over the house and only after my father threatened me with both paddlings and tchotchkalas instead of my much coveted toy cars and aeroplanes, did I finally set about trying to remember how to put the stereo back together.

I think my parents just ended up going out and buying a new stereo system with a CD player because I had no clue what I was doing. I was 4, remember!

Anyhow...I never did get to see BTTF Part 2 or Part 3 in the theatres. But, I did watch the trilogy for the first time and truly understood what was going on about six or seven years later. On glorious VHS videotape! And boy did I love that first viewing! Those movies stuck with me throughout my growing up years! Oh how I wished I had been able to see them in the theatre when they were first released!

That brought back that deep-seeded childhood resentment and as punishment I tore apart the family VCR... That earned me a grounding and revocation of my N64 privileges. Damn.

So, I've decided that now that I am a father, I am not going to deprive my own children of such a memorable experience! I have the Back To The Future special edition DVD collection out and ready for action! Today, being the greatest day in terms of all days named after 21/Oct/2015, will be the perfect day to sit the twins down and binge watch these great movies and all the special features!

Happy watching my friends and I shall see you in the future!

But first...I'm going out to buy a $50 Pepsi and stop by an antique shoppe to buy a Cure record.

*straps on Power-laced Nikes and runs out to hover-converted Land Rover*

~Adrik

Greetings mere mortals and welcome back to the Sanctuary of Ultimate Evil!

Apparently somebody has opened an Asylum of Ultimate Evil, which is slightly less evil than mine, over in San Marcos so I sort of wanted to distinguish myself from them...

But do not be tempted by discount evil! For they may offer a better price on the Sleep of Ages, but only I can give you that added Adrik touch!

Now...onto tonight's Journal of Evil!

As always, I am your Puppetmaster of Tortured Souls, Adrik Wolf, not only a master of puppets, but also of funk and EVIL!

Tonight, I was going to share with you the evil that you can do at home on a rainy day. Did you know you can summon up the forces of darkness from the comfort of your own home? It's easy! All you will need is common household baking soda, some white vinegar, and of course the blood of at least three Souls of the Damned!

You may want to get a parent or guardian to help with the slaughter of the damned persons because it gets to be a tad messy...

What's that? What am I being for Halloween? What a perfectly evil question to interrupt my step-by-step guide on summoning the forces of darkness, and I shall enlighten you with that story, despite the uncontrollable evil that comes along with it!

You see, I was explaining to the kids the other day that this would be their first Halloween where they would be expected to do more, seeing as both were walking quite well now and their vocabularies were expanding to beyond simple gurgles and raspberries. It was time for them to earn their candy keep and if I was going to have them tag along on my trick-or-treating adventures, they had better be ready to step up their game!

I won't let anyone stand between me and those Skittles, no matter how evil or blood-related!

So, I was deep in thought on this year's costumes when I summoned Man-servant Hecubus to my chamber.

"Yes, master?" He said in his deep, evil voice. "I am ready to serve you...and Satan."

"Excellent!" I replied. "Ready the carriage of evil and the horses of hellfire! I wish to journey into town!" Yes, we have taken to using a carriage for these types of errands. It is our duty to look after this planet after all. You can be both green and evil, you know.

So, as we climbed into the carriage of evil, it was pretty clear that the twins would be deciding the theme for this year's Halloween. And knowing that one particular show had caught both their and my fancy, it was obvious that we were on the evil prowl for Adventure Time costumes!

Which was a little disappointing, because I was hoping to dress the two of them up as lions and me as a dentist from Minnesota, but they wanted to do the Adventure Time theme and they really had their evil hearts set on it. So I relented.

I was looking forward to dressing up as Finn, to be perfectly evil and honest.

But oh no! Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria had other evil ideas up their sleeves! For they dashed my dreams by announcing that they were going as Finn and Princess Bubblegum, respectively.

I was going to be Jake the Dog. So chosen by the evil ones.

Nothing against Jake the Dog, but I wanted to be Finn! The hood! The sword! The snappy one-liners!

Nope. Couldn't happen. Phillip Connor was going to be Finn. Damn! Evil! Evil and Damnation!

Well we could both go as Finn, I argued. Still no good. You can't have TWO Finns Phillip Connor retorted. Which yes...that does make sense. I mean two Finns is just wrong somehow. Evil wins again! Damn!

But we do need a Jake the Dog. And since I'm the only one left....sigh. I guess I'm Jake the Dog this year, An Evil Jake the Dog. I better score a lot of good candy for my sacrifice.

I could have been the Ice King, but Man-servant Hecubus already called him. Thwarted again!

But I will say, the Jake the Dog costume looks really good actually. Not as evil as I was used too, but evil enough for both the twins and I to be happy.

So there you go. That is the ensemble we are going as this year for Halloween. Finn the Human, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, and me as Jake the Dog. I just wish my children weren't so evil and would have let me be Finn! I'm going to pout about this until Halloween arrives.

But dang the costumes look good. But I still think I'm going to make them pull me in a wagon from house to house. I will have all that candy to haul around after all...

I love being the spawn of so much evil Hahahaha!

Until next time...

Remember to rinse off your waffle plates so that way the syrup is easier for the dishwasher to remove! Thank you and keep the evil strong in your hearts!

I'm going to go steal something to make me feel better...

*runs off to terrorise the neighbourhood in his Jake costume*

~Adrik

Good evening.

And welcome to the journal of ultimate evil. I of course am your most evil and unforgiving of tour guides, Adrik R. Wolf, and our journey into the realm of unspeakable horrors begins from our current location: the Burger King off of Exit 137 of Interstate 37. Why a Burger King you ask in your quivering, uncertain voice? Because it is the home of the black Whopper that turns your poop green and is made from the enriched ingredients of pure evil!

They also have Angry Chicken Fries in case you are feeling the need for spicy and thoroughly evil poultry products.

For those of you without a brave heart, get up and remove yourself from reading this journal. For to read this journal is to read the very written words of evil, and those words may be too potent for your soul to handle. So go ahead, exercise your right to be a coward! The chosen ones will wait...

Now, for those of you with a brave heart and have stayed, look upon my face and know that to look upon my face is to look into the face of evil!

Yes! I am a fur possessed by many demons! Polite demons who would hold the door open for a woman carrying too many parcels and pushing a baby carriage, but demons nonetheless!

Yes, I've walked the line of evil many times since being spawned onto this earth! It's a windy, twisting path of death and angst and torment that actually leads to a very quaint flower garden and hummingbird sanctuary...but beyond that...EVIL!

Which brings us to the purpose of tonight's sermon of the damned!

It is October and with October comes my favourite time of the year. And no, not Columbus Day! That is second in line to the most evil of all holidays created! I cast my Columbus Day gifts aside just to feast upon the unholy sacrifices that only the one true holiday can bestow to those with evil in their hearts and salt on their hams!

I speak of course...of Halloween!

Yes, Halloween has always been the time of year where evil is given a free pass to unleash chaos and fear amongst the damned! And this year shall be no different as I welcome into my home...a figure who could be the spawn of Satan himself...

Man-servant Hecubus!

Delivered fresh from Transylvania onboard the Railway to Hell, Man-servant Hecubus is ready to serve both me, his Evil Master, and Satan! I've made him a nice little spot in the garage where we can summon the dark forces of the damned without disturbing the rest of the household who may be trying to sleep.

The next few weeks will be the Proof of Evil! Will Man-servant Hecubus be able to fulfill the twisted desires that only true evil can create? He is off to an evil start. When asked to bring his unwashed laundry to the washing machine to be cleansed with the evil detergents of the eternal abyss, he flat out refused! So impolite and Evil! Evil! Evil!

Then I asked Man-servant Hecubus about partaking in the Sleep of Ages. I cast my spell and he went into his hypnotic trance. "Can you hear me, Man-servant Hecubus?" I asked.

"Yes, Master," he replied.

But wait! If Hecubus was sleeping...then how could he hear me? Maybe because he was LYING! Dirty, dirty liar! Evil, evil liar! He is going to need some more work to fully control his streak of evil!

Why, just today I went to leave the house to run some errands, but got delayed by five whole minutes because somebody left their silver Fiat parked in front of the garage, blocking my Rover in! And who owns a silver Fiat you may ask? Why Man-servant Hecubus! Evil!

Remember my fellow furries....don't fear the evil that is around us. Do not avoid the Hounds of Hell! Do not avoid the Beasts of Brimstone! Do not avoid the Puppies of...Purgatory...

Enough with the evil metaphors! It is time for me to rob you of your free will! Are you prepared to hand over your existence to Satan? Does this frighten you? Oh? Really? Well maybe after breakfast then? Oh...you have an appointment as well. Well I could probably do this weekend either day if that works for you. I just don't want to sound in a rush, but it's very important that I capture your soul before Halloween. Kind of an evil rule and everything...

How does it feel to know that your mortal being is going to be captured and used for the purposes of evil by The Forces Of Darkness!

Umm...yes I'm pretty sure we can have you back in time to do your Christmas shopping. Evil is pretty flexible around the holidays...

But now...it is time to cast the Sleep Of Ages over you, the brave souls who have read this journal to the end! Repeat after me!

"Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watches switches. Which Swedish switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch witch?"

Is that really the spell? God, I can't even say that. Oh well. Anytime you hear that chant...between now and Halloween, you will be back under my evil control! Now begone! Go out and rain evil down upon the world! Spread the scripture of Adrik the Evil Wolf and Man-servant Hecubus to all your friends!

And if you have time, please restock your birdfeeders. It's going to be hard for the birds to find food once the snow falls.

Wow. What an awful journal. Was there really any point to this? No, not really. Just a bored Wolf awake at 2:30 in the morning and trying to get a bunch of random ideas out of his head.

But on a brighter note....a lot of you have been asking me about Skype and I finally remembered to take the time to get an account! So if you want to come harass me or just need to get a dose of evil...my account (?) id is adrik_wolf@hotmail.com!

I discovered I used to have one of these like ten years ago but never used it. So I shall be needing to update it in the coming weeks.

So there, this journal wasn't completely pointless! Whoo!

Until next time....

~Adrik

Listen up kiddies! Put down that issue of 'Sky and Telescope' magazine (Yes, this is a real publication...I checked) and cast your eyes and ears unto me! For tonight we are all to bear witness to an event of mammoth proportions that has been 33 years in the making! Yes, not since 1982 have we been graced with the phenomenon of both a lunar eclipse and the amazing Supermoon!

Now I know what you are all thinking....Adrik, will you be turning into a werewolf because of this eclipse and aptly named 'Bloodmoon'?

Yes. Yes I will.

Now, since I had not yet been born in 1982 and both my beautiful hair and pre-destined genetic disposition to morph into a werewolf had not been established, I am not fully sure if I will become the typical werewolf, prowling the fields and empty roads at night searching for the nourishing blood of the unholy, or, as evidenced in the series 'Adventure Time', I may be transformed into a Hug Wolf, roaming the countryside by the light of the bloodmoon and ravishing unsuspecting travellers with my deadly and yet warm and comforting hugs.

That's a grave possibility. You will either be disemboweled by my desire to rip flesh from bone or you will be cradled in my beautifully shampooed and fluffed furry arms as I unleash a torrent of hugging that no mere mortal has ever bared witness too.

Either way I would sleep with the door locked and an axe in your bed.

Now that that is out of the way and you all can prepare yourself for the onslaught of gore or cuddles that are destined to befall you when my ravenous reign of mayhem begins, we can move on to other delights.

Such as me ringing the planetarium to see about bringing the twins and I down to witness this great lunar event. I had not yet turned into a werewolf, and having a healthy interest in amateur astronomy I thought it would be fun. Below is how the conversation played out:

*phone ringing*

Voice on other end: "Hello, how can I help Jew?"

Me: "Um...I'm sorry. Hello?"

Voice: "Hello. How can I help Jew?"

Me: "Is This the Planetarium?"

Voice: "Yes. Are jew calling about the jewing of the eclipse tonight?"

Me: "I am. Is there a reason you keep saying the word jew?"

Voice: "I'm just speaking normally, sir. Would you like to make reservations for the jewing? We will have the observatory open for anyone to jew the eclipse through our telescope."

Me: "You keep saying 'jew'. I just heard you say it twice."

Voice: "Is that going to be an is-jew? I mean I knew jew were Jewish as soon as I picked up."

Me: "How is that possible? And besides I'm only half-Jewish."

Voice: "Your voice is saturated with Judaism. And I know all about your 'self-proclaimed furriest half-Jew' spiel. Jew can save it. You're Jewish. Just accept it."

Me: "I was just hoping to come down for the eclipse party. I heard it was going to be quite an affair."

Voice: "Eh...I don't know. We really don't want to over-saturate the event with Jews. Maybe jew would be happier stopping by next week. We will be doing a month long event on the planet Jew-piter."

Me: "Yeah, okay. I think I'll just go to HobbyTown USA and buy a telescope. We can just go out in the desert and watch the eclipse that way."

Voice: "Yeah, that's not going to happen."

Me: "What makes you so sure?"

Voice: "Because jew don't have a discount code or coupon for HobbyTown. And I know jew won't pay retail price."

Me: "Damn! You're right!"

Voice: "See. Plus driving out to the desert...that's gonna cost some money to jew. Think about it. Plus scorpions..."

Me: "That's true..."

Voice: "I'll tell jew what. Jew swing by the Krispy Kreme and bring us a few dozen donuts for the event and I think I can get jew some tickets. Just between jew and I, okay? And no discount rack donuts either. We need them to be right out of the oven. I don't want you trying to jew me on the freshness."

Me: "Yeah, okay I can do that. But I want free parking. And free tickets to that Jupiter event next month."

Voice: "Deal! Greedy, money-grubbing jew!"

It was only afterwards that I realised I rang the SANITARIUM and not the PLANETARIUM....so I really have no idea now if I got those free tickets or not...

So I guess in summary....prepare for the eclipse tonight. Plan on me wrecking havoc as either a werewolf or a hug-wolf and if anybody would like a glazed Krispy Kreme to nosh on while watching the eclipse, just hit me up.

I've got to go make an appointment at PetSmart to make sure my fur will be the shiniest when it comes time for uncontrollable bloodshed!

Until next time,

*scampers off with far too many Krispy Kreme donuts for one fur to handle*

~Adrik

I'm making a journal announcing that I will be staying awake the entire night for the next couple of nights.

My new job is switching me to the graveyard shift...which is actually going to be good for me with the twins and all...so I will be working from 7 pm until 7 am...which gives me time to be with the twins for a bit throughout the morning and afternoon before work.

Plus the atmosphere at the aeroport will be less hectic than the daytime.

So...if anyone else is planning an all-nighter...I'll be here...writing and doing other things until I dose off. Come harass me.

Also....this has to be the shortest journal I've ever written on here....o.O

*scampers off to clean kitchen*

~Adrik

Warning: This journal is going to be extremely long and at times...extremely emotional.

I'm sorry in advance.

Well it has been quite a year for this Wolf to put it in the most basic of terms.

And the thing is, it’s not quite over yet. But hopefully the remainder of 2015 can be a lot better than the first three-quarters. And it started out with such promise for me as well. But alas, things were not meant to stay on that course.

Well first things first I suppose. I do want to apologise for my extended absence. I know I have been doing more apologising than actual involvement on this site like I had in years past, but to be perfectly honest, as most of my followers know, things have been quite life-changing in the past few years. And I really should not have let those things interfere with my social life on here, because I have met so many fantastic people on here who I consider wonderful and interesting and compelling friends, and it was never my intention to be the sort of person who comes on in sporadic bursts and then disappears for large spans of time. And yes, I know I am guilty of doing that, especially more and more in the last couple of years, but again, it’s one of those things that I never wanted to happen, but it did.

But now, after what I will certify as possibly the worst year (so far) of my existence, I want to put the last two or three years behind me and move forward.

I’ve never been the one to shy away from divulging my personal life or going into great details about what I’ve been doing or what events have been transpiring in my life. And it’s not going to be any different this round either.

I started off 2015 with high hopes. I mean yes, the whole turning 30 thing really struck me hard. I just couldn’t believe that another decade, the raunchiest of my life, had come to a close. But I took it in good spirits, joking and accepting it for what it was. We had just finished moving to Louisiana and were getting settled into the whole new routine and looking forward to what the next part of my life was going to bring.
Well it was around March of this year when I started noticing things were changing. And it was changing between me and Nicole. Mainly I started noticing that instead of being happier about the move, something she was adamant about doing because she wanted a life where she wasn’t feeling trapped in a harsh, rural state like Alaska, she was becoming more distracted and distant. I noticed it at first but didn’t think much of it, attributing it to the stress of moving and starting a family and the like.

And to be honest, I wasn’t the most delightful person to be around either. I put on my happy face and went through the motions as was required, but in all reality I hated my job, hated leaving Alaska, hating losing the life that I was so accustomed to having.

But that’s the sacrifice you make when you have children. At least for most people. And for myself, I would do anything for my children. So I bit my tongue and ploughed through every day.

Which brings us to the explanation of what happened next and I’m sure you all were drawing your own conclusions from the title of this journal.

It was the first week of April when I got a phone call from the day-care centre that the twins were at while I was up in the air and Nicole was at school. They asked if I was picking up Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria that day because Nicole had not arrived yet at the usual time. I told them that I didn’t know I was supposed to but I could be there in a couple of hours. (They were picked up at 4 during the week but the centre stays open until 7) After I got off the phone with the director, I immediately rang Nicole to make sure everything was alright. I wanted to make sure that she hadn’t been held up or in an accident, because like me, she is pretty routine and doesn’t stray from a schedule. Well it rang and rang and went to voicemail, so I left her a message asking if everything was okay and to ring me back as soon as she could.

I followed that with a few text messages and after thirty minutes, another phone call.

By the time I got back to Lafayette and was on my way to the centre when she replied with a simple text message telling me she was sorry and I would learn everything when I returned home. I rang again and sent more messages asking what that meant, but never got a reply.
So I picked up the twins, had no answers to offer the director when she asked if everything was alright, and went home to an empty house which was even more unusual. After getting the twins settled, I found a ten-page letter addressed to me on the dining room table and anyone who knows when you are left a letter by a loved one, the contents are never good.

I won’t bore anyone with the extensive details and many, many uses of the phrases ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ but the basic point of the letter was that Nicole had reached a decision in her life that she was not yet ready for the entire ‘family’ lifestyle and was feeling trapped and unhappy. She felt like she was being held back and that she was going to be missing out on so much in her life by settling into the whole ‘mother’ role. She reiterated that she loved both me and the twins un conditionally, but she needed time to find out what she wanted out of life.

It was all coming out of the blue as far as I was concerned until about halfway through the pages, where she admitted she had met somebody else and was spending time with ‘him’ behind my back. He was as she put it: ‘Younger, ambitious, full of life and adventure, and somebody who lived life one day at a time. Somebody who would be spontaneous and exciting and unpredictable.

The person I used to be.

So I guess growing up and becoming responsible and putting my family before my own happiness was the exact opposite of what she was looking for. I guess I totally misread into that. Perhaps I should have been one of those guys who runs off when things start to get real and lets others clean up the mess and handle the responsibility. To say that felt like a kick to the crotch repeatedly with an iron boot is putting it lightly. After all I sacrificed and gave up to make sure my family were given everything they needed and were supported in any conceivable way, I was walked out on because I was ‘becoming a different person’.

She went to Chicago with this new person she had met. Apparently they had been flirting with each other even before we left Alaska. He was from New Orleans and going to Chicago for a job. She cleaned out her closet and took I suppose whatever fit inside her Subaru and went with him.

I could tell everyone again how much that destroyed me and sent me into the deepest chasm of depression, but I had an entire summer of emptiness and sadness to more than give me my fill. It’s time to move on from that.
The thing that really hurts me the most is just the sneaky way she did it. And then to leave Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria like that. I’m sure she gave them hugs and kisses and told them goodbye that morning when she dropped them off. But to then return home, load up her car, and then just leave like she was dropping off a box of unwanted kittens at the Humane Society door, that I just couldn’t forgive. I can take and handle a lot. God knows I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak and hurt and disappointment…but to walk out on your own children…innocent souls who have no control or understanding of what’s happening in their lives…that I can’t forgive.

To me that is just plainly reprehensible.

It was just shy of a month later when she rang me back to talk. To say I wasn’t the most receptive is a compliment. I pretty much told her first off what I just wrote in the last paragraph. I didn’t mind that she had left me. I didn’t mind how she did it or that she was seeing someone else behind my back. I’m an adult. I can handle it. I can take those lumps and that heartache and still keep moving forward. But to do such a thing to her…to our…children…I couldn’t forgive that. They had no idea what happened or why. All they know is that one day their mother is there…the next she is gone without explanation. And anyone who has grown up without one or both your parents knows what I’m talking about. I don’t care who you are. When you have a child, your whole outlook on life changes. It’s not about you anymore. Like I did, and so many other mothers and fathers before me, you make sacrifices and do what has to be done for them.

Plain and simple.

I asked her if she wanted to get together. To see the twins. I could fly up to Chicago. She said that wasn’t a good idea.
She asked me if I was mad. I asked if she expected me not to be. But I was more empty and hurt than mad. It really takes a lot to make me truly angry. I’ve gone through a lot of horrendous shit in my life, and very rarely have I ever gotten angry to the point where I act in a way or say something I later regret. I told her I felt betrayed and lost.

She asked me if she wanted me to have her relinquish parental rights over the twins. That one struck hard as well. I asked her if she was serious. She said that she didn’t want to come back into their lives in ten or fifteen years and disrupt things. She said there was talk of her new fling and her going over to Italy for a few years, something to do with his line of work. Photo-journalism. She admitted that she thought she was ready to become a mother and have children in her life, but that feeling changed when reality set in. She couldn’t blame me for being upset and understood if I wanted her out of both mine and the children’s lives.

I told her that was a decision I couldn’t make. That was completely in her hands.

I got the court papers the first week of September. Just after Labour Day. Seeing as we never got married, the whole custodial parent thing is pretty easy to get through. Plus her packing up and leaving as she did makes it a pretty easy determination on which parent is better for the twins to stay with. But that’s all in the hands of my lawyers. That’s what they get paid to sort out.

Am I happy that she surrendered custody of the twins to me? I don’t know. Am I sad that in a few years they are going to be asking questions and wondering why things happened the way they did? I don’t know either. I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. But one thing I can say with certainty is that I am going to be there for them every single day of their lives.

We’ve talked a few more times over the summer. The conversations are civil but strained. I have no interest in asking her about coming back to me. Someone who can walk out so coldly on their family once is certain to do it again. It’s just the nature of the beast. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I feel. She talks very little about her life and what she’s been doing. A lot of travel with her new boyfriend. New York. Los Angeles. Even London and Munich. It’s funny, she had to leave a pilot in order to travel the skies. Figure that one out. She asks about how we are doing, but I can tell it’s just out of courtesy. Funny…you spend so many years with a person and they can still become a complete stranger to you. I suppose she has her reasons. Everybody does.

It’s definitely been difficult. I’ve already said it’s been a roller coaster of a year. Along with the depression and feelings of hopelessness and loss, I had to do one thing that I always hate doing, which is reach out to others for help. I just….I just hate being a burden on others. I feel like I have to be the strong one and trudge through life’s obstacles on my own as a testament to my own pride and strength. But I had to call my parents and explain to them what had happened. I told them I needed help because I couldn’t balance my job, the twins, and the house, not to mention all the legal wrangling and everything else, on my own. It was the hardest phone call I ever made.

I hated feeling so helpless.

My mother and father flew down from Pennsylvania and spent the summer. I am really grateful for that. They didn’t have to, but they sacrificed their lives to help me get mine back on track. And I have been a mess. Not only with the depression and emptiness, but my getting up every day, Monday through Sunday, at 3 AM and then working until 5 or 6, returning home, spending every possible minute with the twins until they fell asleep, going to bed myself at 10 or 11, and doing it all over again. I was so lucky to have my parents there to spend with their grandchildren; I couldn’t think of them spending all day at the day care centre without any family around just so I could keep the household going. I was still battling depression, I lost a tonne of weight, I lost enjoyment in everything…writing, photography, music, anything and everything I liked doing seemed moot to me. All I did was work and spend time with the twins. I kept them so close to me. I don’t want to lose them.

But because the cycle of life is constantly turning…I did lose another important girl in my life. Because when you are at your lowest, there is always something ready to happen that makes sure to squeeze just an extra little drop of pain from your wretched body to make sure you don’t get any thoughts about things getting better.

On 24th June, 2015 I lost my beloved Cheyenne.

It was something I knew was coming for awhile now. Unlike with Nicole, I knew that Cheyenne was reaching the final months of her life. Her hip dysplasia and arthritis was growing worse and worse, despite her medications and one surgery to slow the effects. The warmer weather of Louisiana definitely helped ease her suffering, but the cold climate of Alaska had already taken its toll. When she couldn’t even walk off the back porch into the yard without falling I knew the days were drawing near.

Despite my depressed state I found myself out in the garage after the twins were asleep building her the most beautiful coffin I could create.

That was one thing I was always able to do…craft things with my hands…whether it be with wood or words…and I would take into the early morning hours cutting and fitting and fastening the pieces together like a giant jigsaw puzzle. It wasn’t anything I took great pride in doing….it was a necessity more than a trophy…but it kept my mind occupied despite knowing what the end product was for.
Cheyenne would lie on the floor of the workshop, watching me and knowing. I knew she knew. I could see it in her eyes.
I finished the coffin a few days before she was scheduled to go to the vet’s. I put in the last screw of the hinges for the lid and closed it, closing my eyes. I told her it was ready and she looked up at me from her favourite spot on the floor. She tried to get up…something that was now taking her four or five attempts to do and I just watched her and cried. Seems I did more crying this summer than I have in a lifetime. Just to see her struggle like that tore apart the heart that was already in pieces inside of me and all I could do was lie there on that concrete workshop floor next to her and pet her.

If there was ever a time in my life when I felt like everything was taken from me…even losing my eyesight a few years back…that night was certainly it.

I carried her back into the house. It was so sad…she had withered down from a healthy active 92 pound German Shepherd/Timberwolf hybrid to a skinny 48 pounds of soft fur who couldn’t even stand on her own four legs for longer than a few minutes at a time. She was having no quality of life at all and it wasn’t fair for me to keep her going just because I didn’t want to lose another loved one from my life.
The night before her appointment we sat up in the living room, drinking wine and looking at pictures of her in her younger days. I took pictures of her. I petted her. I talked to her. I thanked her for being by my side for the last ten years. I told her she would be in a better place and have a better life come tomorrow. It was the hardest goodbye I’ve ever had to say in my life.

Cheyenne went to sleep at 4:15 PM on 24th/June/2015. She was 13 years, 6 months and 18 days old.
I had to have my father drive the Land Rover home from the vet’s. I couldn’t hold myself together. What a sight I must have been. My mother stayed with the twins, explaining to them why Cheyenne had to leave them. The poor souls. They have been getting many life lessons at an early age this year.

I buried her in the backyard. I wanted to take her to Alaska, her home and a place she knew, but the current status of my life prevented that from happening. And I couldn’t stand the thought of cremating her either. She needed to be at rest in the ground. It was only right. And if anybody wants a weight-loss tip…dig a grave in the hot, humid Louisiana summer and you will be as skinny as a pole in no time. I could have used the tractor…but this was a personal endeavour for me. I owed her the personal touch…it was the least I could do after she had been so loyal to me.

The rest of the summer went by with me being in the same rut. I was happy around the twins. I didn’t want them to see that I was dying inside and growing more and more unhappy as each day went by. My mother could see it. My father could see it. People at work could see it. I was pretty much just going through the motions of surviving without taking any time to enjoy a thing about life.
By August I knew I had to break out of the cycle. I had started the year off with such high hopes…such excitement…and I looked back and saw I had accomplished nothing except working and being a father and crying. My parents urged me to sell the house and move to Pennsylvania to be near them, that way they could help with the twins and I wouldn’t be so overwhelmed. But I declined that idea. Going back to Alaska was also out of the question. I couldn’t be that far away from the world again, taking the twins from a chance to experience the world and all it had to offer. Plus, I had actually grown accustomed to the beautiful weather, and going through months of torrid cold and snow with all the ploughing and ice and long nights just didn’t appeal to me anymore.

But I also knew I couldn’t stay in Louisiana anymore. For as enchanting and beautiful as it was, it wasn’t home to me. The memories were just too bad for me to stay.

So, starting about mid-August, I started to pull myself out of the rut I was in. I inquired about a different position in the aviation industry. Nothing against Delta, but I am definitely NOT a corporate flunky. I prefer doing things the Adrik Richard Wolf way. I got a few leads on some great opportunities in San Antonio, Texas of all places. And Texas is a hotspot of Aviation in the good old United States, so I ventured over, talked with a few people, and got a new job. One that keeps me both up in the air and also at the aeroport and keeps me in a respectable schedule to continue being there for the twins.

The next step was moving. Sold the house. Traded in the minivan. (Thank god) and actually went out and bought a new Land Rover Discovery.

I’m sorry…try as people might…you’re not going to get me to buy anything other than a Land Rover. Its ingrained in my blood. I find a nice four-bedroom townhome…I know…a townhome!...in San Antonio which was brand new construction and was very family and pet friendly. It’s like its own little village inside, with a day-care centre, playgrounds, dog parks, bike trails, swimming pool, resort style club house, all that fun stuff.

The townhome is big enough for me and the twins and a new German Shepherd (when I decide the time is right to adopt another one) and the new live-in Nanny that I hired to become part of the family for the time being.
It’s nice having my parents help out…but they have their own lives to live and one can only take so much of their parents before they start to pull their hair out.

I think Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria are adjusting well. It’s been as awkward and confusing and uprooting for them as for me, but I hope they know that I’m doing all of it for them. My new job gives me flexibility so that I can be around with them as they grow up, even working from home a couple of days out of the week so that way I am around. And the nanny is absolutely fantastic. She loves the twins and is very good with them.

She (as well as my parents) asked me if I’m going to be putting myself out on the market soon and start dating again. I said no. First off, I’ve never been much of a dating type of person. I’ve probably been on less than ten dates my entire life. That’s not my scene. Besides, I’ve got my children to look after. They come before anything else in my life now. But that doesn’t mean I won’t have time to do other things in my life as well.

Like getting back in touch with good friends.

I know it was wrong of me to be gone like I was. I can’t apologise for it enough. But the situation I was in just felt so hopeless that I resorted back to my defence mechanism of shutting down and keeping to myself. I just wanted to give up on everything. I didn’t want to burden anyone with my problems or sound like a drama queen or a complainer. I didn’t want to appear as a failure. I know you all deserve better. Maybe now…after realising all I have lost and not wanting to lose more…I can show the few of you that I have called friends since 2007 and after that I can be better. I would be honoured to give you that chance.

I’ve been back to writing. Despite living surrounded by boxes and unpacking and putting together furniture, I managed to sit down and do a few hours of writing each night after the twins went to bed. It feels good. I have so many ideas to get down, so it’s going to take time. But I did complete two Chapters on my new Mystikal story I started at the beginning of the year. I want to start getting back into posting and commenting on a regular basis like I used to do. It brings me happiness.

I’m sure one or two of you are going to ask about Nicole. Do we still talk? Do I still love her? Can I forgive her for what she’s done?

We do still talk. Either phone calls or occasional emails. It’s down to maybe two or three times a month now though. The twins have started talking…but she grows uneasy about speaking to them. I think she’s ashamed. Maybe she doesn’t want them to know her voice or ask if she’s ever coming home. I don’t know. I’m just letting my mind wander. I have no idea what her reasoning is.

Do I still love her? Every day I wake up loving her. Every day I wake up thinking of her. I miss her terribly and will never understand why she did what she did. But she has her reasons. Like I said, I can take the consequences of her actions. I can reason and understand why some people do the things that they do. Can I forgive her? That’s a very difficult question. What she did to me is par for the course in a relationship. It either happens or it doesn’t. I never wanted to have a broken family. I never wanted to have a child asking where the other parent was and why they left. But that is something I have to face when the time comes. Maybe I’ll have the answers by then.

I can forgive her for what she did to me. I’m adult enough about that.

As for what she did to the twins? Her own children. The two innocent beings who asked for none of this and seemed forgotten when it came to her own selfish whims? That I can’t forgive.

As they say, life goes on.

But I just wanted to give you an update as to what has been going on in my life. I hope it wasn’t too boring despite the incredible length of this journal. And I want you to know that I am the same Adrik Wolf I have always been…perhaps a little more mature and thoughtful…but I can still be funny and childish and warped when the situation calls for it.

In fact…I need to have a little more humour to finish out the year. God knows I’ve had enough sadness.

Until next time…

Take time to think about the ones you care about in your life. Because one day they may not be there.

~Adrik

LAFAYETTE, LOUISIANA- A birthday card sent to Adrik Wolf from his parents to celebrate his 30th birthday was inadvertently tossed into an unused butterfly fuck-swing along with several other pieces of junk mail, sources reported on Saturday.


The adjustable butterfly fuck-swing, once used by Adrik and his fiancé Nicole Marie to have wild and uninhibited sex in myriad aerial positions, has been slowly filling up with junk mail over the past several months, the couple told media outlets at a recent press conference.

"The inclusion of the birthday card from Adrik's mother and father in Pennsylvania was honestly a mistake," Nicole told reports on Saturday. "I think it was stuck inside of one of those Colonial Penn Insurance pamphlets that nobody ever reads."


At one time, the young couple considered the butterfly fuck-swing to be their most precious possession. In recent years, however, it has been eclipsed in esteem by Adrik's leather briefcase and Nicole's emerald earrings.

The dozens of credit card offers, coupon flyers, and unsolicited catalogs were first stacked in the butterfly fuck-swing in order to clear off the dining table for visiting relatives, but more mail gradually began to accumulate on the soft vinyl seat designed to cushion the rapid, percussive strokes of lovemaking.

"Nicole and I sure had some crazy times on that thing before we had the twins," said Adrik Wolf, who just turned 30 on Saturday and was the intended recipient of the misplaced birthday card, motioning towards the adult toy, upon which he had just hung his suit jacket. "But it seems like forever since I turned her upside down in that thing and dripped hot wax onto her vulva. Maybe we can give it another go after we finish the new deck this spring. That's taking up all my spare time at the moment."

The butterfly fuck-swing features nylon straps, padded stirrups, a swiveling hook, a crossbar Nicole used to grasp in the throes of ecstasy, and, more recently, several unread issues of O, The Oprah Magazine'.

Moved from the couple's bondage room, which is now the nursery for their twin children, to the sitting room just inside the front entryway late last year, the fuck-swing ended up in an ideal location to deposit mail deemed too unimportant for the already full rolltop desk in the corner. Other items, such as a box of edible lubricants and an 18-inch steel-studded leather paddle, were relocated to the attic to keep them out of the reach of the active and inquisitive 20-month-old siblings, Phillip Connor and Savannah Maria.

Nicole Marie, 28, said that she had considered simply throwing out the junk mail, but balked after the last time, when she accidently discarded an important medical bill that had been placed in the butterfly fuck-swing.

"I swear I'll get to sorting out that mail soon," said Nicole, who less than two years ago would strap herself into the butterfly fuck-swing at her boyfriend's slightest suggestion, but now only interacts with the sex apparatus when rummaging through it for a Target or Kohl's receipt.

In addition to raising their two children, Adrik said that working long hours, working to restore their late-19th century Louisiana home, and doing yard work leaves him and his fiance very little time to read their mail and enjoy exhilarating sadomasochistic fucking through unconventional methods.

"I was just thinking yesterday, Boy, I can't remember the last time I had my fist up the mother of my children's asshole," Adrik said. "It happens to every couple, I guess."

Also noticeably absent from the couple's sexual repertoire is the bright purple silicone butt plug that, for the past several weeks, has been the favorite chew toy of their English Retriever, Buddy.

"I'd love to give those ankle and wrist restraints another go, but for the life of me I can't remember where they are," said Nicole, referring to a set of chained leather cuffs that are currently being used to padlock a composting bin in the couple's backyard. "And I haven't seen hide nor hair of our cock rings since we went over to Houston for that weekend getaway. We'll have to get some new ones, I guess."

"Well, as soon as the family budget allows for it," she added.

Despite being forced to retire the nipple clamps after the babies started nursing, the pair said they would still consider having exciting and adventurous sex if Nicole ever returned home from her advanced Pilates class with any remaining energy and Adrik was able to get back from his flights before seven at night.

"Last Thursday, Adrik and I wanted to take his penis prison out of the garage to have a little bit of fun for his birthday," said Nicole, referring to a rubber locking male-chastity device. "But, my God, was that garage a mess—we ended up just sorting junk. At least I found our favorite ball gag, which I'm going to hang in the garage so I know how far to pull the Land Rover in."

Both Wolf and Feile hope to get their once-hot sex life back into gear in the spring, pledging to make good use of a leather hood and spreader bar when they try for their third baby and before getting married.

As for the birthday card, Adrik told reports that he was going to try and remember to look for it before leaving for the airport Monday morning.

Happy 2015 everybody!

And yes, I know that yet again I am late to the party...but I'm hoping to change that this year, seeing as I made a resolution to try and get back to my pre-2013 life.

And no, I didn't sell my children for cheese and Nicole didn't run off with that Go-Go's tribute band which is currently travelling Amsterdam on their 2015 'We Got The Beat' tour.

No, I just did a lot of thinking over my annual Christmas vacation to the parent's, which luckily this year was mainly focused on two centre-of-attention grabbing sprouts who are screaming towards their second birthdays and will be loosing all that cute infant charm and delving into the Satan-approved era of the terrible twos.

Which makes me think that selling them for a wheel of brie might not be such a bad idea....Perhaps haggle for one of those sampler wheels with a dozen different type of cheese wedges in one easy-to-carry container. I would be a great hit and all the upcoming cheese and wine events throughout the country.

But anyways, before I start going off on a lot of ramblings, back to my original thought. I had a few nights to myself and was reviewing my activity for everything outside of work and family and found it extremely pitiful.

Aside from photography, I submitted exactly one story in all of 2014. Absolutely horrific.

And I had plenty of ideas...just no time to develop them. And that really bugs me.

So, now that I am pretty well settled in, getting adjusted to the whole family thing and discovering exactly how much I hate my job.

Its not all bad...I just...was expecting more...when you go from navigating the wilds of Alaska to traveling the same triangle of routes without the thrill of blinding snow, ice and water landings, and going into remote locations, something inside of you dies.

So yeah. Home life. Great! Fatherhood. Great. Turning thirty this weekend.....I can deal with that. Job. Hate. And lack of writing. Hate.

But while on vacation I actually opened up my laptop and did something I haven't done in months. I sat there and wrote all night. It felt so good to be creating again. Such a feeling of accomplishment. I got twenty-seven or eight pages into one story that I need to come up with an ending to and finished the first Chapter on a story series I've been wanting to write for the last six years. A continuation of the series "Turn To Stone", which I've struggled with for years to come up with a storyline and feel like I finally have it right.

So perhaps a year off and away from writing was something I needed. I hated not publishing anything and hated not being active here in the community even more, but I know I grew a greater respect and love for my mediocre talent as a hack writer, and I actually have that flame inside of me to create again. So for 2015, I want to make it more like pre-2013....with lots of silliness and stories and just me being the best Adrik Wolf I can be.

Plus, Savannah Maria and Phillip Connor winning the 143rd annual Westminster Twins Show in New York this past weekend makes me feel even happier and absolute excited to share the news! Here is a copy of the article from The New York Times:

NEW YORK—Savannah Maria and Phillip Connor Wolf, twin siblings from Lafayette, Louisiana, beat out 4,600 top contenders from around the country Sunday to win best in show at the 143rd annual Westminster Twins Show.

Standing in the winners circle before a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden, the Wolf twins impressed judges and fans alike with their combined even temperament and self-assured attitudes. Handler and father Adrik Wolf said he was not at all surprised by the outcome, describing the young siblings as the most well-rounded pair he has seen in 15 years of training twins.

"We knew we had world-class show twins on our hands from the time they were born," Adrik said after rewarding both Savannah Maria and Phillip Connor with some Gerber strained peaches. "I've worked with Alaskan bred twins extensively, and they tend to be very skittish and shy—especially those from Denali-region stock. But not my two. They've always been obedient, polite, and totally confident."

"None of the other twins out there even came close to them," Adrik continued. "Not even those gorgeous Afghan longhaired twin girls. They put up a good battle, though."

According to a citation issued by the judging panel, Savannah and Phillip excelled in every standard for twins in the fraternal category, achieving a flawless, even walk while being led around the show ring. Additionally, both siblings received top marks for their glossy, healthy-looking heads of hair and perfectly pressed and matching onesies.

"With Alaskan breeds, what the judges are really looking for is bone structure and lots of personality," Westminster show chairman Timothy Slayton said. "Phillip Connor won his group largely thanks to his prominent cheeks and clean jaw. You could just tell from the moment he started running on his own across the floor that this boy was going to be a real crowd favourite."

Sources said that the Wolf twin's victory is especially notable because it marks only the fourth time in the event's history that a male/female pair of Alaskan lineage has taken top honours. Purebreds from the lower 48 have been the perennial victors, and bigger breeds from the working-twin group—those traditionally used on farms and as golf caddies—have won the past six Westminster shows.

Perhaps most surprising to twin aficionados was the judges' decision to award second place to Anthony and Adam Kessler, a pair of 6-year-old twins from the Husky twin group, a category of siblings lauded for the entertainment they provide but seldom taken seriously in competition.

"Everyone loves the Husky twins, but they're still viewed as something of a novelty," show organiser Shelly Winthrop said of the soft, somewhat clumsy breed often referred to as the clowns of the twin world. "With their rounded flanks and drooping hindquarters, they tend to breathe heavily while gaiting, which works against them during judging. Hopefully Anthony and Adam's showing here today will help these special group of twins get more positive recognition."

"After all, Husky twins are quickly becoming the most common type of twins in the country," Winthrop added.

This year's Westminster Twins Show also had its less-than-triumphant moments, however. Ricky, a 10-year-old from the Bully group, reportedly bit a judge while having his teeth inspected, and Rachel, his identical twin sister, a favourite to win the Pigtails and Posies group, stained her short-pants suit when she grew nervous and urinated midway through her trot around the ring.

Still, longtime show-twin fans said the 2015 edition included some of the strongest competitors in recent memory.

"This is my fifth time coming, and the twins this year were simply breathtaking," spectator Tanya Poole said. "So frisky and full of life, and just immaculately groomed. It didn't matter if they were fraternal, identical, or even Unusual, you could somehow tell they were having the time of their lives."

Echoing the sentiments of many others, Poole added that she couldn't wait to get home to see her own twins, Jeffrey and Allison, and let them out of their crates.

Yep. So there you are! My off-spring are already making a name for themselves on the Twin Show Circuit. Thank goodness we're back home so I can work on getting them prepped and groomed and trained for the upcoming National Twin Show in Philadelphia. I didn't build that trophy case for nothing!

Yeah. That's enough weirdness for now...

Until next time...All my love!

~Adrik

Well it's official.

The end of an era is here. After what seemed like six months...because it has been six months....sorry, that joke really needs work. I will put that in the 'IMPROVE' file...I have finally settled down for the next stage of my life.

And actually, despite all my hesitations and thick-headed stubbornness, its actually not as bad as I first feared it to be. But that's mainly because I'm the type of Wolf who gets comfortable in his life and rebukes any attempt to change that organized and structured life. And things were going along fine...the kind of life where if you get lost in the woods, you just stop where you are and build a house. That way you can say "Well I was lost, but now I live here. I have greatly improved my predicament."

That was me ten years ago. Oh what a supple young Wolf I was. Beautiful head of hair that was lively with shine and bounce. Eyes that at the time were blue and were the star of many a Visine Eyedrop commercial. I was just twenty years old, fresh out of my teen years that I could never live again, ready to relive them again in my twenties. I was a simple young man, juggling oranges eight at a time and honing my skills as a folk whittler.

My dream had always been to become a famous juggler and spend my off time hanging around with the strongmen and acrobats of whatever circus happened into town, but since it was wintertime and there were no places I could juggle without fear of being made fun of, I decided it was time to take the next step of my life.

But first I had to consult the Sacred Bones of Phil Collins.

So I set upon the harrowing three-quarter of a mile drive to the magical Sussudio Lake near my home to set up my praying pagoda. With 'Take Me Home' (the extended 12" version mind you) coming out of the 1988 Range Rover I then owned, I built a powerful fire with the sleeping bags and clothes I had stolen from some homeless orphan children living under a bridge. (Phil Collins always said it took the tear-stained cloth of an underprivileged child to have the strongest visions)

So, once the fire was raging I went into the pagoda and bowed before the enlarged album cover of 'Hello I Must Be Going!' and took out the ancient rawhide bag containing the Sacred Bones. "Oh Sacred Bones of Phil Collins," I chanted. "I seek wisdom! What should I do for the next not quite ten years of my life? I only ask that because I will probably be doing something different a few months before January 2015 and it won't quite constitute as ten complete years, but I want to round it up because it will be easier to say." I then threw the bones into the air.

There was silence for a few moments, and then the fire died out and the cold January 2005 winds blew into the pagoda, bringing along a 'Balto' videocassette that I thought was weird because nobody was using videocassettes anymore and I wasn't sure if Phil wanted me to become a fleamarket vendor or go work for Netflix. Then the bones returned to the snow and spelled out one word. 'Alaska'.

I was meant to be a sleddog racer! I think. That or I was just supposed to go to Alaska and find myself. Either way I had two Siberian Huskies and a 'Balto' videocassette in above average condition. I was on my way to the next chapter of my life!

And so as most of you already know, I ended up leaving Montana where I had been living at the time and made the several day journey north to Alaska where I slept in my Range Rover in the coldest of winter nights until I got settled in Barrow, where I got a place and started my career in the Aero industry. I got snowblindness. I got two of the greatest wolf-dogs ever to grace this earth! I got to live in the most beautiful place on the planet. I got to eat polar bear! I became a furry! I fell in love and then had two beautiful children and became a family man before I reached age 30. Also, I never once lost my sense of weirdness.

But do not fret my friends. This is not a journal saying my goodbyes. I had another ritual with the Sacred Bones of Phil Collins last night and he assured me that like it or not, most likely I am going to be torturing you all until we all mature and give up being furries or animals start to talk and become bipedal and doing everything we write in our stories or draw in our pictures.

No, I guess this journal is me saying goodbye to the life I'd grown accustomed to the last (almost) ten years. For that time I was on my own, making a name for myself and quite happy being the lone wolf that I was. I was young, free, able to do what I wanted, when I wanted, and how I wanted. Now, that's all changed. Hard to believe it, but now I actually have a purpose in life. I have not one, but three other (non-furry) people who look up to me everyday now to be there for them. Its a world of responsibility and I get to be the lucky Wolf at the helm.

But its not as bad as I feared. And trust me, I have been scared beyond belief. For the last year and a half...maybe even longer, I have been asking myself every night before bed what I have been doing and if I am ready for this. Especially since last December, when the whole bombshell about moving was dropped on me. I let everyone here know what was going on back in February. And six months have passed since then. What a time it has been.

And I am happy to say, we have made the move with little disruption into our lives. Beautiful Lafayette, Louisiana is the new home for the Wolf family. I did end up buying the house I had shown you, but because of all the updating it needed I was able to get it for $205,000. Sadly I have yet to encounter any ghosts.

I have also settled in with a new job, with Delta, and am on a more relaxed schedule than that of my old 3 in the morning until 7 at night Glennallen to the rest of Alaska route. I'm now going from Lafayette to Atlanta to Houston to Dallas and back to Lafayette and still making it home by evening to have time with the twins. So, the reason for my absence has been due to shuttling between Alaska and Louisiana, remodeling our new home, and me studying and testing for my new licenses and new job. Which I will admit, we have gotten a lot done in the last few months. And I am exhausted. 7 days a week, 15 to 18 hours a day doing stuff leaves very little time for much else.

Nicole and the twins and the dogs came down shortly after we closed on the house at the end of April. I stayed up in Alaska to keep working and packing and bringing things down on the weekends. That was absolute hell for me. Two months all alone up there. It made me realize how much I missed everyone. And this is coming from a Wolf who spent the majority of his time by himself. What a turnaround. But I survived. And in case anyone is asking why I wasn't on here while I had all that alone time, the answer again is time. I'm the kind of fur who hates being in debt, so I busted my tail working and making investments to make sure that the new house and all the remodeling is getting paid for. I plan on having the new home paid for in ten years, because I am half-Jewish and hate the idea of paying all that interest. So It's work, work, work for me.

And just a word of advice, from a Wolf who's been around the energy business for most of his life, invest in energy futures. Now that I'm down here in Louisiana, I've got my paws into double the oil, propane, natural gas and nuclear energy fields. My investments are doing mighty fine in Targa, Oneok Hydrocarbons, Shell, Enterprise Products, and BP. Another big one to look into. Water. That is becoming a hot commodity. I've got my paws in a few water-holding companies. Very nice investment. Not to brag or anything, but I am looking at hitting a seven-figure investment income within twenty years or so. My parents always told me to invest in products that people always need. And coming from cold climates, its always been oil, propane and gas. Just a little advice in case you want to look out for your futures :-}

So anyways, back to my life. Everything came together about mid-June. Which was nice, because it wasn't excruciatingly hot yet. But it didn't take long. I'd say after a week of being down here, they decided that I need 80 to 100 degree temperatures to welcome me to the south. Plus throw in some humidity and thunderstorms and more humidity just to add excitement to the pot. Ick.

So, as you may have guessed, I installed central air into the house, which was a HUGE lifesaver for me. Its so much better now, being able to set the temperature in each room. That way everyone can be at their own comfort level.

The remodeling is coming along fine as well. All the drywalling and rewiring has been done, and we've gotten the three bedrooms as well as the new attic guest rooms carpeted and trimmed. Nicole is still debating over the paint colours while I've moved ahead with redoing the downstairs. We did the main rooms downstairs except for the kitchen and I stole the study off the dining room to have as my own private get away point. And mainly to set up all my records and books. Maybe one day I'll get to start up that online radio station I've always wanted to.

Oh! And another little tidbit. I've sorta claimed the sunroom for me as well. Well, just one section of it. Nicole has the rest as her greenhouse and furniture restoration hobby. And the twins have a field day playing with their toys there. But, I have taken a small corner and set up an easel and paints. I've actually been trying to paint. The landscape down here is soo...intriguing...the swamps and shorelines and green forests....so I'm attempting some landscape/nature paintings. Nothing too interesting yet, but then again I am a beginner. And Savannah Maria loves watching me paint. She'll sit there and reach for the paintbrush and laugh at how horrible I am as a painter. I don't know, maybe it wont go anywhere.

What else. Well, it has been quite the culture change moving back to civilisation as well. So much to see and do! It's insane. This past weekend we drove over to Houston for a dog show. Nicole's been going to gardening classes and just loves being outdoors planting and pruning. The twins have gotten to go to the parks nearby and out to state parks and down to the shore and next weekend we will return to Houston so they can see the zoo. Its really a lot brighter and colourful and livelier than Alaska and I must say, I really enjoy it. Its not at all like I feared it would be. You almost forget about the heat.

The dogs hate it though. They stay inside in the air conditioning. Very smart. Cheyenne will be 12 years old this coming December. Budrow (or Buddy or CowFats, whatever name you want to call him) is turning ten in a couple of weeks. The Humane Society made a mistake on his age. He was older than they wrote down. But that's Nicole's black English Retriever. He acts like its 100 degrees everyday inside the house. Typical old Lab. lol

And Nicole adopted another dog while she was down here. A goofy little Chihuahua that was at the shelter and named her Peanut. I'll post some pictures of them when I get the chance. She's becoming more of an animal lover and more of a plant lover every day. But she's 100% happier and I can see it in her face so that's good. It's also good because after we went to that dog show last weekend, I picked out the dog I'm going to get next.

A Borzoi. oh what a beautiful, graceful dog. I'm thinking because the heavier furred dogs I've always loved wouldn't do so well in the Louisiana heat, I'm going to foster one and eventually adopt one. We have to go out to Midland, Texas, where a group we met at the dog show has dozens of them available. So its all about picking out the one that suits us best.

What else has been going on?

There's this one fast food restaurant down here that is driving me nuts. Its called Raising Cane's and its a chicken strip place with the best dipping sauce you have ever tried! Oh my god. Nicole (I know!) brought home a meal of it one night just because she was running late and like me, wanted to try it. Well, the chicken fingers are really good. Nothing to win any awards or anything....but the dipping sauce. I thought I went to heaven. It was sooo frickin' good. It took all my willpower to only eat two chicken strips and a little container of sauce. But I want more! But I can't. Cause I don't want to lose self control. Once in a while is fine...but no more than once a month or longer. Besides, there are so many more great seafood and Cajun restaurants to try. It'll be into next year before we get to them all.

The twins have started to learn how to walk!

They are getting to the point where they will almost let go of the furniture and can make it a few steps before falling. So that will be a fun challenge, keeping an eye on them with all the construction going on. And Philip Connor has gotten his love of transportation just like me. He has one of those things, a walker maybe?, that he sits in and uses his feet to move it around. Its in the shape of a car and has buttons that make sounds and a steering wheel and gearshift. His sister has one that is pink and does all the same things and every once in a while they can get them moving enough to bump into each other and start laughing like crazy. Other times they just sit there, yelling at each other and bouncing up and down. They'll probably be in Power Wheels vehicles by next summer.

And now they are each finding their voices. No real words yet. Just laughing and gurgling and baby talk that they seem to understand and no one else. And they have to sleep in the same room even though they have their own separate bedrooms. Otherwise they cry and fuss. And they have been stick-tights since I got down here.

I don't know. I'm sitting here in the living room as I write this on my laptop, looking at those two. They fell asleep on a blanket under one of those toys that you set up and they lie under it, batting at the squeaky and furry toys that hang down. Its like a mobile but on a frame and it has a zoo theme, with lions and tigers and elephants and such. It keeps them entertained.

I'm sitting here surrounded by boxes that need unpacked and painting that needs to be done and a list ten kilometres long that needs tackled. But I wanted to come on here. I have the day off of work and it was long overdue that I had time to collect my thoughts and sit down and remember how great it is to come on here and see all my friends from all over. Some I've known since I first came here in 2007. Some I've only met this year. But that doesn't matter to me at all. All I think about is how interesting each and every one of you are and how you all have your own stories to tell. That's why I keep coming back here. Despite real life getting crazy and overwhelming, I will find time to get back here and let everyone know I am alright and still with you. I know a few of you have send me messages asking where I've been. I appreciate that, it truly touches my heart, and now you have your answer. I can't say that I can be here as much as I'd like, but I can be here.

Which brings me back to the title of this journal. It's true. AlaskanWolf is dead. That (almost) ten year chapter of my life is over. Gone is the Wolf who lived his twenties with only his self to worry about. Everything I did was for my own benefit. I could be as crazy as I wanted, be as uncontrolled as I wanted, and be as stupid as I wanted. But no longer. Its no longer about me, my friends. Now its about everybody around me. Both family and friends. And you know what, sometimes it's not too bad sacrificing all you've known for others. Sometimes it's pretty damn rewarding.

And just so you don't all think I've completely matured...just remember: If you like my sexy stubble, just be warned that it will irritate your thighs when I go down on you.

See, I may no longer be an AlaskanWolf, but I'm still the same old Adrik Wolf.

Now I just have to figure out how to change my username....

Until next time,
~Adrik

Sheesh.

I'll tell you what...time just screams by when you have so much going on.

I think the last time I had anytime to sit down and actually catch my breath was maybe Christmas time. And even then it wasn't for very long. Just when you get settled into a routine and think that things couldn't be better, you get a nice wrench thrown into the works to spice things up.

So, to get started, it looks like the last time I was on here was back in November. I actually had a bunch of things planned for December and January, but life decided to step in and throw those plans off the tracks.

And don't worry...things are fine. The twins are doing great and becoming more and more vocal and exploratory, making sure to keep both of us on our toes and giving them our undivided attention. And they got to celebrate their first Christmas, which was more for Nicole and I then them, but they were the ones to reap the rewards. I'll probably have Toys R Us and Babies R Us paid off by sometime in 2028. If I'm lucky.

Oh well. You only get to spoil your children once, right?

What else. The four-legged part of our family seems to have no interest at all in DOGTV, the channel that DirecTV put on our lineup, and so far I have not seen them once turn on the TV and sit through an entire programme. Although I have for some odd reason fallen asleep many times in front of this channel, usually with Savannah Maria asleep on me. I'll tell you one thing, for some strange, unexplainable reason, that little girl adores me. Figure that one out lol.

And Nicole is doing good. She finishes up her courses this spring and looks forward to beginning her career in the under-rewarding arena that is the sport of teaching. Its something she has always wanted to do and she is really excited to be reaching her goal.

Which brings us to my long absence from my favourite community!

It was after Thanksgiving and Nicole had approached me that night, wanting to have a serious talk. And I could tell by the tone of her voice and the look on her face that it was very important. I was afraid at first that she was going to tell me she wanted to have another child, or two, or even three, which I would definitely be on the fence about, seeing as how hectic and strained things have been already for the past nine months. But luckily (for the time being at least) that wasn't what was on her mind.

It took a little while, she kept beating around the bush, but finally she just came out and told me:

She wanted to move.

I must say I wasn't all that surprised. She'd been hinting at it in subtle ways since our twins were born, but this was the first time she had come out and directly said it. And she did have many, many valid reasons for bringing it up. I kinda knew...had a feeling she was wanting something different before the twins were born, and I think they just cemented her desire for something different. And I can't say I didn't blame her one bit.

She loves to garden and do landscaping, something that is quite difficult in an Arctic climate. She wants to get into teaching, which is hard to do in such a vast area. And she is worried about living in such a rural area trying to raise children without access to many social advantages that can be found elsewhere. She wanted a change. She wanted to be open to new opportunities for not only her, but our entire family. She wanted a change from the isolation, the long cold winters, the feeling of missing out on the world. She wanted to make sure our children have the best opportunities available to them.

I couldn't argue with her on those points.

And she understood my love of Alaska and how I had a solid career and a home and obligations that I worked hard for. But she just pretty much came out and admitted that she didn't think she could live up here for the rest of her life. She pretty much stated that it was going to be hard choice to make, but she couldn't see herself living another year up in Alaska. Pretty much she was saying if we were going to stay together, that some hard choices were going to have to be made.

Well, me being a stubborn and complacent Wolf, wanted to hear nothing of it. I argued that we had a great foundation set already, a comfortable lifestyle and the entire world could be accessed with just a click. And yes, I know the last argument is very moot, but I was not so ready to roll over and give up everything so easily.

Which that of course lead to weeks of arguing and debating, something I am not fond of to be honest. I try to avoid conflict as much as much as possible. And I can look back now and admit my arguments were very weak. And unfair to be truthful. I was being selfish, looking out for what my interests were instead of my family's. I guess that's part of growing up and maturing. You have to make sacrifices that you aren't happy with. Changes in your life that you don't want to make. But I'm not the same Adrik Wolf I was when I first arrived on your doorstep nearly 7 years ago. I still have my sense of warped humour and silliness, but I look at things through more realistic glasses.

So on Christmas Eve, I gave Nicole an early Christmas present and told her that I thought she was right and we needed to do what was best for us. I couldn't see breaking apart a family over stubbornness. I asked her if she had any particular places to relocate too and she surprised me by saying the Southern United States. I was relieved, because it wasn't California...a place you couldn't pay me ten million dollars a year to live in, but still, the South. The image of intense hot weather and misery filled my head. So of course I asked her how far South she waned to go and she beamed even more and hopped out of bed and took a notebook out of the side table.

Apparently she had been working on her ideas for longer than I even knew.

And she surprised me yet again by showing she wanted to move to. Apparently she had been reading up on the research I had been doing for my 'In The Hall Of The Mountain King' series and picked of all places, Louisiana. Lafayette, Louisiana to be exact.

Talk about heat and humidity and crawdads *cringes*

"Look at it, though! Its so beautiful. And it will be a perfect winter time home for us!" she exclaimed, showing me maps and street guides and tourist information on Lafayette.

"Winter home?" I asked.

"That's right. I know how much you hate hot weather...and how hard it is for you to leave Alaska, so I thought that I would make a compromise with you, seeing as how hard it is for you to do this. I think we should live in Louisiana from August until May, staying down there for the winter and the school year, then we can spend the summer up in Alaska, where it will be cooler. Does that sound fair?"

"Wow. I think it does....but you want to have two homes?"

"I think it would be stupid to give up all you worked for. And besides, I never said I wouldn't want o come back up here to live someday."

"True. I can't believe you picked a location based on a story I was writing, though." I laughed.

"Yeah well, I had ulterior motives as well. I have a couple of friends from there and It just seems like a welcoming, bright place to raise our kids and become part of a community. And I have a good chance at getting a good opening position don there once I get my degree."

"Yeah. Which reminds me, I need to start scoping out job prospects as well." That had been another thing that had been gnawing away at me. The whole horrible ordeal of transferring over to a new job. And of course Nicole, always proactive as she is, handed me a bundle of papers and information for Delta Airlines.

"Delta? You want me to become an airline pilot?" I asked, laughing. I never once ever gave any consideration to becoming an airline pilot. I love the freedom of independent flying.

"Well they are looking for pilots to cover their regional routes out of Atlanta. And they have positions for the daily run between Atlanta and Lafayette. Flying an MD88. Would that be something you would want to do?"

"I'll have to get training and see what requirements they want. And I'm sure I will have to take flight testing and exams and all
that fun stuff..."

"Is it something you'll consider?"

"This is what you really want?" I asked. She said it was. She said she had been giving it a lot of thought and weighing the pros and cons...and this is what she wanted. So I said, alright. Let's get the ball rolling.

So we waited until after New Years before starting the next stage in our lives. For January, I worked my tail off up here non-stop it seemed like while Nicole and the twins travelled down to Louisiana to start house searching. With what little spare time I have, I've been studying for my Airline/Air Carrier certifications and talking with the folks at Delta Atlanta to get everything I need to do to start getting the ball rolling.

The nice thing is we don't plan on moving until this August, so that gives us a lot of time to get things organised and planned, and three weeks ago Nicole found a house that she absolutely fell in love with. It's a $250,000 classic Louisiana 'Turn of The Century' property that when I saw the pictures of, reminded me of a spooky Louisiana plantation mansion that you know will have ghosts living in it. I'll get the pictures she has of it and post some on here, but here's the description the listing says:

"Step Back in time" to this fabulous turn of the century home! This two story "Turn of the Century" Estate has a formal living room, family room, 3 large bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, study, kitchen, breakfast room, a double formal dining room, and sunroom! There are beautiful architectural touches throughout including a solid marble mantel over the fireplace that was acquired from the Ursuline convent in New Orleans. It has a separate carriage house which includes a small living/kitchen area, 2 small bedrooms and a half bath on the top floor and a double garage below. Also, a separate utility house with an outside storage area. This home is situated on a beautiful landscaped "park like" setting. This lovely home sits on and 1.3 acres and is listed in the Local, State and National Historic Registry. This home needs some TLC and could be restored to its former grandeur in years gone by."

I mean with a description like that, how can you go wrong?

So, we set up an appointment to go see it, which we will do next week, and since Nicole is raving about it and making plans already, I'm guessing that as long as it doesn't need too much and is easy to renovate then I guess we will put in an offer on it. I mean how can you go wrong with a property that has a 'Carriage House?'

So yeah, next week as well I have to go to Atlanta and meet with Delta. So the next two weeks will be crazy as well. Yay.

And that's what is going on in my world currently. I sincerely apologise for the lack of submissions and comments, but I truly have had no time. And its looking like things aren't going to calm down anytime soon. So I just wanted to let everyone know that we are all doing fine and will soon be joining the rest of you down in the lower 48 before the year is out. Whoo for returning to civilization!

And on another note, I absolutely have fallen in love with the Louisiana Blue Dog. Paintings of it will be adourning my new den in our new Louisiana home. If you haven't heard of it, do a search on it and tell me those haunting yellow eyes don't capture your attention! In fact, I hope to get back to having time to write so I can build a story around it, but we'll have to see.

So, I really have missed all my friends on here, and trust me, I'm going to try to get back to posting stories and pictures again. Take care everyone and I hope your lives are going well too.

Hopefully talk to you all soon!
~Adrik

Yes, I said Everypony.

I had almost assumed the entire MLP fad had passed the way of Blackberrys, 3-D television and movies made by Michael Bay. But alas, this Wolf came home to find a brand-new season 4 premiere of My Little Pony safely tucked away on his DVR.

And yet I have not had anytime to watch it! The horror! The horror!

But at least this season I have a reason to legitimately watch it! So all you Bronies out there, if you want to watch MLP without getting the flack from the status elite, have yourself a child or two. It looks better for you and the tax breaks are amazing!

So yeah, once again I got slammed by the busy fairy. She snuck up behind me, greased me up good, and just went to town ploughing me with her business. In the end I was left satisfied and buttery, like a Ritz cracker topped with thin slices of cheddar cheese and a sprig of parsley for colour. There was wetness and soreness and lots and lots of trips to the pharmacy for more lube and...

Sorry, kinda got off track for a moment there.

The important thing is I got raped by the busy fairy and it was good. So very good. Now, with us nearing the end of 2013, I am glad to say that after today's Turkey Day, I should be able to by on more often with my end-of-the-year stocking full of delights for all you good little boys and girls. And that one kid from Toledo who keeps sending me the shrunken heads. That special little kid gets an extremely heartfelt Gobble Day blessing from me because he takes such pride in the way he dries those heads and uses the finest silk string to sew the eyes and mouths shut.

Anyhow, back to Gobble Day!. It's nearing six am and I have been up all night visiting family that made it in throughout the week. And of course the twins were screaming for turkey and ham and yams so I had to get to cooking early. This is their first Thanksgiving and they already made in perfectly clear that they will be the centre of attention!

So, I've been up pretty much all night while everyone else slept, preparing and getting things set up. Hopefully I can squeeze in some MLP and Justin Nelson taunts while my Grasshopper pie sets. Then its onward to the preparations of greatness for Gobble Day! It's a beautiful 16 degrees outside with snow showers aplenty and no sunrise til 9:30 AM...so it looks like it will be another grand Gobble Day again in the badlands of Alaska.

Speaking of which, from my family to yours, I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving, and whether you are eating a slice of pumpkin pie, a pumpkin pie-flavoured Pop Tart, or everyone's favourite: Domino's Thanksgiving Feast Pizza with Pumpkin Pie topping, we need to all be thankful that we don't have to put up with my parents.

So that's why I will be bouncing on and off online all day to see how all of your Gobble Days are going. Because my mother is going to be in full Jewish-Mother nag mode and the ground's too frozen to dig a shallow grave.

Until next time,

I wish you all a great Thanksgiving and will talk to you all soon!

And be sure to watch all new episodes of My Little Pony on the HUB! Channel 294 for us DirecTV subscribers. For all you poor people...I don't know...YouTube it or read the condensed books. I can't solve all your problems!

~Adrik

Well I just got done watching the best horror movie of all time!

And I don't even know if I would consider it a horror movie. I mean the effects were horrible. The acting was horrible. The entire plot was horrible. And yet I wouldn't consider this piece of cinematic mastery a horror film.

I find more horror in discovering scorpions have decided to bunk with me in my bed than in this movie. (BTW, special thanks to for relaying that useful bit of information to me and making me paranoid about scorpions making their way into my blankets!)

So we all know I am a glutton for bad movies. So what was today's flick that brought even this most avid 'Mystery science Theatre 3000' and bad movie connoisseur to his knees in fits um laughter and eye-rolling?

It is a movie that has racial stereotypes! Sweet 1972 fashions, music and afros! Fried chicken! Dirt-bike races! Oversized turtle-neck sweaters! Black soul brothers needing to prove their innocence! I speak of course of the Academy Award winning film: 'The Thing With Two Heads'!

A preview that is going to make your nipples hard with anticipation:



Now, don't we all feel better after watching that?

I can not believe that this was never spoofed on MST3K. I found myself just riffing non-stop as I trudged through this. And just when I didn't think things could get any more sleazy, the gods of 1970's movies dropped this in my lap:



Really? TWO movies about two-headed humans that go around terrorising absolutely no one? And once again we are treated to motorcycles, sweet 70's fashions and fros, and a nonsensical plot that just had me wishing I had two robot sidekicks and a way to get aboard the Satellite of Love.

Plus The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant has Casey Kasem starring in it! Yes, the voice of Scooby Doo and American Top 40 just oozes charisma in this schlock-film! Plus we get Pat Priest from The Munsters making a wise career choice as a victim or heroine or something. I really don't recall. I was riffing too much.

Good go. Two two-headed monster(?) movies in one day. I really must be growing a thick skin for bad movies. But you have to admit, when you have a tagline like "No man is safe from his killer lust" you know you are in for a wicked treat.

And, seeing as Halloween is mere days away and I have already completed my costume...(I'm going as Flint Lockwood from Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 this year) I got to thinking that maybe it's time I put my head on another body. Just to see what would happen.

And also to wear sweet turtlenecks. I love fashionable clothing :XD

But my luck will be that I'll be in some horrific plane crash and end up sewn on to Justin Nelson's body. Then that means I'll have to go around to all kinds of spoon conventions and goofy stuff like that.

*ponders*

I think I better find myself a black soul brother to attach my head to before that happens. Just the whole idea of going to Spoon-A-Con 2014 doesn't sit well with me.

And besides I want some sweet watermelon and a bitchin' afro. Well...I guess I wouldn't have an afro...but I would be able to see one every day....

But I won't turn down a piece of watermelon. Or banging a sweet-ass black honeychild. Crossing those two things off my bucket list would make losing my body worth while.

That is unless any of you want to volunteer to have my head sewn onto your body. I promise that we will have crazy dirt-bike adventures and car-chases!

Well, only a few more days til Halloween and I have a bunch more bad movies to watch!

Until next time, just remember I am the massive monster that menaces the world, threatening the most intimate terror a woman or man has ever felt. And I will show up at your doorstep with needle and thread and a sweater...and we will join heads and rule the world!

~Adrik

I feel like I'm in a horror movie. Which is fitting as Halloween, my favourite holiday of the year after Flag Day, is creeping up on us like a mutie scorpion skittering across the snowpack in search of unsuspecting ankles!

*Cringes*

A friend I know down Arizona was actually telling me the story of how she took a scorpion sting to her foot while walking down her hallway a couple of weeks ago. In the dark. In her own home. Scorpion attack. Just to listen to her tell me that had me checking every corner of the house for the last couple of weeks. Any little sound I heard had my neurosis at red alert. Damn nimble, claw-and-stinger pain in the ass bastards.

And yes I know its too cold up here to allow even the hardiest scorpion to live (thank goodness) but there's always that chance. Nuclear radiation can be very unpredictable. Just look at my cousin Leroy. I don't think they'll ever get all the Hasidic Jewiness out of him. And he was born in Texas. Figure that one out.

The important thing is I hate scorpions and that is why you will never catch me living anywhere below the 62nd degree North parallel. It's just too risky.

Anyways, Got into Barrow this morning and was greeted by never-ending fog! So much fog, which is probably hiding ghost pirates and unimaginable horrors from another dimension in its silky grey embrace, that I am currently grounded and may be spending an overnight session in my old stomping grounds!

It's not so bad. I met up with some old acquaintances, got to see how little Barrow has changed (I think the one frozen whaling trawler along the coastline may have shifted slightly to the right), and generally just talk and catch up on the times since I moved away from the top of the world.

On the plus side, I did manage to score a spoon from Arctic Pizza, even having the owners go as far to include a genuine certificate of authenticity scribbled on a napkin. Another spoon to the collection will surely drive Justin crazy.

(He denies being the Keeper Of The Spoons and is freaking out because he's gotten about a hundred or so spoons since last month!)

If I end up staying at the King Elider Inn I'll have to see if they are willing to donate a spoon to the cause. *ponders*

Actually, scratch that. I just checked their kitchenette rooms and dining utensils are provided. So somebody will be making out like a bandit today!

I wish I was the Spoonman...

On another note, speaking of spoons, I was home last week, hanging out in the den doing paperwork and filing receipts and the such. Genesis' 'Three Sides Live' album was spinning on the turntable and things were just the grape groovy. Then Nicole brought in a crying Savannah Maria, who she couldn't get to settle down and handed her to me.

"She wants you," Nicole told me and I nodded, setting my stack of papers aside.

"I can see why. I am just so irresistible in my charms, love of fine wine, and acquired taste of early 1980's prog-rock albums." As soon as she was in my arms my daughter of course stopped having a fit. She knows that I don't collect spoons. "See, nothing to it!" I commented.

"Uh huh." Nicole answered. "What are you doing?"

"Getting things organised for the upcoming tax season. And looking online for Halloween costumes for the twins."

"You're not taking them out trick-or-treating. They are too young. It was bad enough you left those fake severed heads in their bassinets."

"That was just a Halloween-warming present! Just to let them know that they entered a world where its okay to sleep with severed heads! In fact I slept with the CryptKeeper from Tales From The Crypt for years and I turned out normal."

Her raised eyebrow told me that she was holding her words on that one. Which I've learned is usually a good thing.

"Besides," I continued. "Look what I found online! Twin KISS costumes! For infants!"

"My children are not dressing up like KISS for Halloween."

"Look at those awesome costumes! Phillip Connor can be Gene Simmons and Savannah Maria can be Starchild! Look at that hair!"

"No."

"Look at The Demon! It even has a Tongue pacifier! Matching Tongue Pacifiers! And you can do their makeup...I know you like doing their make-up. I haven't touched any kind of make-up since that incident at the Des Moines Drag Queen contest of '08..."

"No."

"...that should have been my crown! I had the sexiest pair of glitter stockings in the Midwest. And my garter belt was fresh from Frederick's of Hollywood..."

"No."

"If we don't get them started in the KISS army now, Nicole, who knows what Gene Simmons will do to us! He'll send his demons out to wreck havoc on our peaceful life! We need these costumes! We need to be out there trick-or-treating!"

"You don't even eat candy! Why would you go do something that ends up with you having a whole plastic pumpkin filled with candy you won't eat? And yes I know you've been itching to try your new pumpkin out. I saw it on the dresser the other day!"

"I'll eat Skittles..."

"They are too young."

"You're never too young for Skittles! Or Popcorn Balls!"

"No KISS costumes."

"What if I look for KISS spoons instead? Would that make you happy?"

"You can torture your friend all you want. But leave my babies out of it. No trick-or-treating this year. Maybe next."

"I wonder if they make a spoon costume. A giant spoon and two KISS army infants...."

AT that point Nicole just shook her head and walked out, meaning that I had won the argument with my intelligent point of view and well-researched comments. SO of course I ordered the KISS costumes. I want my children shouting it out loud as they cruise the streets looking for Doctor Love.

Savannah Maria smiled as I purchased the Starchild Wig. She knows who the fun parent is!

Then to celebrate I replaced Genesis with 'Lick It Up' and got called an idiot by my fiancé. Just another fun night in the Wolf household.

But I'm still searching for those elusive KISS Spoons! If anyone knows where to find a couple, let me know!

So yeah, that's what's been happening around here. I'll spend some time posting some photography and making some comments while I continue to wait out the fog. And if I have to spend the night in Barrow, I'll survive. I can just put on my KISS Spaceman wig and turn the iPod up as loud as it will go.

All hail King Simmons!

~runs off to find his KISS makeup bag~

Until next time!
Remember to take care of yourselves and God gave rock and roll to you.

~Adrik

Whew.

I finally have a few minutes to sit down and pop on this site to see what I've been missing since July. I figured, what the hey...I'm in Talkeetna for a little bit, have some Wi-Fi hookup and dying to get my paws all up in the Snuffala-guts of my new iPhone 5s (and no I didn't get the gold one...why get gold when it's just going to be covered up by my sweet MLP case?)and since I knew my journal was going to be about ten pages long with news and such, I decided to break them up and start posting as I had time.

And with no children or dogs or anything else striving for my attention, being safely tucked away waiting for me back in Glennallen, now is a good time as always.

I never realized having twins could eat up so much of your time! I look at the calendar on my sweet iPhone 5s and I can't believe its October already! It's obvious that children are not like dogs, where you can just feed them and leave them in the back forty to explore and play. Sheesh!

So August was spent working. All the time. Working and rearing twins. September was vacation time! We took the brood home to Pennsylvania for two weeks so my parents quit calling me nonstop asking to see their grandchildren. (There will be other journals on that coming up) Then we got back home and right into the routine again. Hopefully once they reach one year of age I can slow down a little. Until then...*rolls eyes*

So anyhows, this vacation was different because good friend and avid spoon collector Justin Nelson came along, seeing as he is pretty much part of the family and his real family were kidnapped by cannibals somewhere in the desert outside of Needles, California. Its a long story involving missing arms and the quest for tasty cactus juice.

And as you may recall, back in July I broke the story of the twenty-teens when I discovered that Mr. Nelson collected spoons. Well now this has been a never-ending fascination with me, so during our trip to Pennsy I made sure to purchase spoons from all the places we visited. The Pittsburgh Zoo and Aquarium. Kennywood. Hershey Park. Philadelphia. Erie. Even some novelty spoons from the airport. Nicole and I even purchased him a handsome Amish-made spoon display rack while in Lancaster! This beautiful rack is made out of durable oak and stained with ever-lasting protection. It will hold upwards of fifty spoons comfortable and can be mounted on any wall.

Well of course Justin kept refusing to accept our gifts, claiming that he was tired of collecting spoons and it was something he was no longer going to do because we kept goofing on him about it. Now I, being of sound mind, deduced that it was because he needed more spoons that he felt his collection was inferior and not worthy of such a beautiful display case.

So that is why I am launching The Great Justin Nelson Spoon Drive 2013!

Together, we can get Justin the spoons he needs and craves to fill up his apartment and his display cases. We need spoons from all over...from Applebees to Apple Barn! From England to New England! Sports, movies, cartoons, cereal characters, if it's on a spoon and you have no desire to keep it...or you want to make a young man in his mid-twenties the new czar of spoon collecting, then join our cause!

Don't be afraid to send your unwanted spoons to the following:

The Great Justin Nelson Spoon Drive 2013
C/O Copper Valley Air/Gulkana Airport
PO Box 234
Glennallen AK 99588

We decided to send them to the airport because Justin didn't want to give out his home address and last time I gave out mine, like a hundred of you showed up and wanted to spend the night and I just can't read that many bedtime stories in one night!

Besides, Justin will be the one unloading all mail deliveries and I know his eyes will light up at the sight of all those spoons! So act today and help our cause...Justin is counting on you!

Well, that's the journal for today. I must get back to work, but no worries...I have more journals as well as writings (something that I barely had time for as well) and photos and other trinkets to post this week...probably this weekend if I'm not too exhausted. But don't worry about me. Worry about the dying hobby of spoon collecting. Look in your heart and your soup bowls and do what's right.

Spoons around the world thank you.

Until next time!

~Adrik