I'll edit this later, I'm sooo tired now.

For all my earlier bitching and moaning I had a good time at FC. I'm glad I attended yet again.

Woke up this morning feeling so much better. I feel like I went on a major bender last night. Good thing I don`t drink. It`s absolutely perfect weather today, great day to do 80 or 90mph down the freeway. I was racing some blonde woman in a later model civic than mine. I think I got here in 15 minutes. Lucked out on parking! Woot, across the street in a full lot. That`s the nice thing about coming at lunch time. People leaving.

Speaking of lunch I stopped at del taco my favorite fast food place and tried those new strawberry filled churros on a whim. Damn you for being so tasty. Damn youuuuuu *shakes claw*

Anyway I`m currently at the mac free computer use bank upstairs. Trapped here really since the fursuit parade is going by in the hallway. They evicted me from the dealer`s room for it and I fled here to get out of the way.

Ordered a Gideon sketch of my Pathfinder society character, a Nightmare. If it`s not too risque, or perhaps even if it is I plan to use it on my character folder. Should be amusing at gaming cons.

Ordered a pony badge, black unicorn for the win, from Rozga, and a inked dragoness sketch. She`s cute, and I`m not the only one to think so, her table was mobbed.

Anyway the parade is over I`m off to amuse myself. More likely I`ll end up working on sequencing data I should have been doing at work all this week.

Oh there was this guy selling metal braided collars in the hallway. He didn`t have my colors, gold and black but they`re very pretty so I think I`ll pick up a custom one in a week or two. Metal rules.

[edit] Anthro black unicorn mare matrix style pic from Susan Van Camp who was extremely nice and wonderful to talk to and quite well priced. I think she's under represented since she doesn't concentrate on spoogey pics.

It's interesting to note that I apparently ask for a level of detail that slightly raises the prices by 20% on a regular basis from various artists. I think it's all the dark latex.

Here's pretty much the collar I wear in my pics. Well close anyway, mine is gem studded and rolled at the edges. What can I say I have expensive taste.
}; )

http://www.betonyvernon.com/paradis.....c-collier-gold

So I'm thinking of getting some new commissions of myself soon. I'm curious what would you all like to see?
I guess I'm soliciting ideas.

Wow a month since my last journal? Time does fly. Bleh whatever, does anyone even read these things?

Love my new job with my old company. I'm doing genetic sequence analysis and having a great time. I even got to run some gels last week.

My housemate dragged me to a furry new years party. It was fun even if I did feel out of place. But that's normal at every party or convention I go to so nothing new there. My mind however was blown when someone knew who I was ever since the mid to late 90s. I suppose the feeling was akin to going to a foreign country and someone random knowing who you are. Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised as the fandom isn't that big and there are only so many dragons after all. On the downside I almost ran over some fool woman wearing dark clothes who was walking in the street at two am. Must have been drunk or something. Grrr stupid people.

I feel lazy or perhaps melancholy. I feel like I should be doing something but I don't know what. Hence this journal.

Wow I haven't updated this in ages. Well the only constant in life is change I suppose.

So I moved to Newark, CA not jersey }: P and live with other furs now. I like it quite a bit. My room is massive. They're weirdly social and antisocial at the same time. I of course talk my snout off and try and speak with them often. It's a weird trust thing I guess. Or maybe it's just having a reptile around.... *shrug*

Uh I start a new job which is really my old job again, same company different group. At least it's for more money and I get to work with a friend from the last group. Ah the life of a science mercenary. It's funny how that works.

I'm running Vampire V20 now. Wow the limited edition book I have is the nicest book I own. It's very impressive. Now if I can just get off my tail and write out the campaign completely. I've been winging it so far, but hey no complaints, quite the opposite.

Playing the crap out of Skyrim, level 41, etc etc, it's buggy as shit with at least one crash a night, but fun for the most part. Now I just need a mod to come out where I can play as a mare character. Someone make that happen. : )

Things seem to be going fairly well lately.
I got bound and suspended again a week ago. Adored it and now know my favorite position to be suspended in. It's very appropriate for a dragoness and allows access to everything. *drool*

I've been strangely productive of late. I've completely finished building and painting four different minis. Working on painting three more and building another three. I'm frankly amazed. That's more work than I've done in the last three months. I guess morale is high. *shrugs*

I'll take some photos and upload soon. I'd do it now but it's getting dark and I like ambient sunlight to take photos in.

Here's the short version of Melisande, my Pathfinder RPG, Carrion Crown character.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5888208

Princess Melisande Morganna Lacroix Verreau
Female anthro half nightmare Age 18 height 6'0" 155 lbs.
medium size, Lawful Evil, Deity: Zon-Kuthon

Ranger 2 / Cleric 2 (Zon-Kuthon)

STR 18
DEX 16
CON 15
INT 11
WIS 18
CHA 14

AC 19, 42 HP Speed 40 (armored 30)

Masterwork Breastplate

+1 Keen Greatsword
Masterwork composite longbow +4 STR mod

Feats:
Power Attack
Run
Shield of Swings
Weapon Focus (Greatsword)

Abilities:
Domains: Undead, Destruction
Channel Energy (Negative) 1D6
Destructive Smite
Death's Kiss
Favored enemy (Undead)
Track
Wild Empathy
Low-light, Darkvision
Can speak with equines
Swift (speed 40)
Hard Dying (-25 HP)
Supernatural Aura (Flaming mane and tail)
Tentacle Bait

Melisande is the daughter of the Queens of Scarwall, Rene' and Morganna Verreau. Rene' is a female anthro equine, Morganna is a nightmare.

After the two female equines got married they took turns one after the other using magic to impregnate each other. Technically Melisande and her sister Alyssandra have two mothers and no father.
The two sisters where born only a couple months apart, Melisande from Morganna's womb, Alyssandra from Rene's.

Melisande mastered the Greatsword and became a devout priestess of Zon-Kuthon the family deity, flogging herself nightly in prayer. Mel enjoys trampling nature under hoof and picked up ranger abilities in her youth.

Alyssandra mastered a variety of weapons, the urumi and various whips being her favorite, she took to study and magic, easily tapping the power in her blood to become a sorceror and diabolist of substantial note. She does venerate Zon-Kuthon having founded several churches in his name but it's not as close a relationship as her sister has.

Insisting on a full education their mothers locked them in quadrupedal mare shape off and on again over several years. Thus they are masters of both feral and anthro forms, both coming naturally to them.

Wow new watchers. Uh I suppose I should stop being lazy and post some of my latest work then.

So I had my first suspension tonight. Was hoisted up all tied up and naked high overhead of a couple hundred people. Wow, what a feeling and rush. I loved every second of it. Stayed up there for a couple hours I think. I have great endurance. }: )
I'm still enjoying the rope marks, I suppose they'll fade over next week. Can't wait to do it again.

Being blindfolded while the ropes came off was interesting too. I could hear the crowd but couldn't see them. Also I got applause for being up there, although that should really go to the person who put me up there, his skill with rope amazes me.

[update] I recently had TurbineDivinity do a pic for me so I could remember the moment. Actually this pic is of the second time I was suspended in my now favorite position. I'm very pleased how it turned out. }: ) I'm looking forward to the next time I'm suspended.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6120382/

Yesterday was interesting. I certainly got around.

I gave a presentation of my lab work from the last 5 months to my entire R&D department. Nailed it. Hurray for high charisma.
DMed Pathfinder Society. Mod sucked but I made it more fun.
Watched a lunar eclipse. Red moon, pretty and gothy!
Two of my characters leveled up. Never had that happen on the same day.
And I got paid. Which is good cause I was down to scrounging for change to get across the bay.

I've got like 5 hours sleep a night for the last two nights and I'm tired as fuck. But I still can't sleep. So much to dooooo.

finished my new Xenomorph mini today. Green stuff is drying as I type. Took a week to make. I'm so incredibly pleased with how she turned out.
Truly my masterpiece to date all the way down to the metal base she's on. Now I just have to prime her black. Difficult given that it keeps raining off and on.
Then to the painting. For once I'm actually looking forward to painting. Also I need to paint my HALO dragoness. I've been sooo lazy on that score.

I just picked up HALO Evolutions volume 2 at the bookstore today. It reminded me of my dragoness. Now I can't help but keep thinking of stories some erotic some not about her. She's assigned to an ODST squad but the irony is she's deathly afraid of combat drops. She has to be restrained in a pod and dropped like equipment or in tandem with another squad member.

I'm still alive. Still around every day and lately commissioning like crazy. I've dropped a couple hundred on pics in the last month. Keeps my morale up in what for me is my least favorite time of year.

I'm also working on a new Xenomorph mini that I'm extremely happy how it's turning out. Building it and the base is complete. Have to finish one more mod (tubes on the back) and glue her to the base. Hopefully someday she'll be my Eclipse Phase character. Which reminds me check out the Eclipse Phase table top RPG, it's a great game, pro transhuman which I love and FREE! It's released under creative commons license. But if you like it pick up a copy.

Oh ya and I'll be at FC as usual. It's close and I have no reason not to go. I'm very likely to be bored as usual though. I'm not in any cliques.

Where are all the spider furs? Or should I say is there any at all? I'd love to meet a gorgeous black widow. They don't always eat their mate you know. }: )

I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm kinda sick of all the domestic disgustingly cute furs. I've seen enough foxes, canines, and felines to last a lifetime. Is everyone a conformist?

Bah, there's that gulf between me and everyone else rearing it's head again. I don't want something cute and furry to cuddle with. I want to nuzzle a giant spider. Or feel the tickle of a swarm of thousands of spiders crawling all over my body, snout and down my tail.Rowr!

*sigh* Anyway I'm working on some miniatures, including some new spiders I'll have to post pics of. I've been lax about that lately. I have quite a few projects I finished and didn't post. Ah well.

3,000 views, wow. What the hell are you all looking at? LOL

Well regardless, thanks.

So I suppose everyone has seen my profile ID now. So why do I look the way I do? There's several reasons really and since I love talking about myself I'll let you know.

I prefer nonanthro to anthro. I want to walk around on all fours. I dislike bipedalism, I'm an animal.

I'm a molecular biologist so I'm rooted in pragmatic realism. This means no wings since they wouldn't work IRL and they're not practical. Also I'm very komodo dragoneque since where do you think I'll borrow the most DNA from?

I dislike bumps, ridges, and especially spikes. They're so damn overdone. It's like people say hmm that dragon is too plain let's add some nasty scary spikes then they go nuts putting spikes everywhere. That reminds me, I loathe, LOATHE spade or spiked tails. Reptiles do not F'ing have spade tails.

I'm a fan of cetaceans so I like the smooth streamlined look.

Well there you have it. I think that covers it.

So I was just driving home from work, it's a 1.5 hour commute through moderate traffic.
I get a phone call on my cell and it turns out to be a wrong number. Then I keep noticing cars with their left tail light out, just their left tail light. I'm thinking about statistics and improbability at this point. I mean every day on the drive home I usually see like none. Or you'd think it was a 50/50 chance of either.

After the fourth one I begin thinking about blogging this as I'm doing now and synchronicity, even to the point I had decided to name this journal that. Then the Police's "Synchronicity" starts playing on my satellite radio. Now I'm like ok this is just weird. Then as it's playing I pass by a fire engine and a couple police cars parked in the middle of the street. It looked like a truck had gone off the road like someone had a heart attack or something. Once again I'm thinking what are the odds? As I pass by a fifth car with it's left tail light out.
Anyway I found it amusing that improbable events had begun to stack up.

Weirdest drive home ever.

I've noticed something here. People generally post or talk about bad stuff. Finances, relationships, etc.

My question is should I post about good stuff? I mean I don't want to bring anyone down or rub it in as it where.


As a completely unrelated aside, spiders are sexy! I don't get to see enough spider art around here. Everything is cute and fuzzy bleh.

Ok to make a long story short the regular dragon panel was a bunch of poser losers. The ADULT dragon panel on the other claw was the real deal.

Narse looked cool as Jesus. Art was great. Damn too small room for the like hundred people in it. I wondered if there wasn't enough oxygen in that room.

Ok so last journal is obsolete, though I'll leave it up. I look more nutty that way.

Bitch bitch moan moan ya I'm a loser. LoL I'm going to go get some sleep. If you've read this far I'd give you a cookie if you where here.

Alexa sat on her haunches tail flicking idly behind her as she scanned the room with lidded eyes. If some hyperkinetic fox happened to invade her space at this moment she'd be more likely to disembowel it then say hello.
Cats, a whole, herd, flock, whatever, passed by singing. This only served to sour her mood further. She dragged a claw along the table before her leaving a gouge.
The dragoness yawned flashing rows of razor sharp teeth.
This is what I get for leaving the cave and trying to be social. If you dig for diamonds most of the time you're just going to get a big pile of dirt.
She rose stretching the kinks out of her back and flexing her wings.
Perhaps the other dragons will be more entertaining.

Stupidest fucking meme EVER. Seriously. Way to perpetuate stereotypes. Bravo. Next do the Race meme, because that's the exact damn thing you're doing.

I'm curious do you guys walk around and feel the complete detachment from humanity I do? I'm not saying people are good or bad or making any sort of judgment.

I mean my hopes, goals, dreams, sexual attraction, wants and needs are so divorced from those around me I am for all intensive purposes another species. And no that's not just wishful thinking on my part.

Maybe I'm musing about alienation. Or more likely that's just the result.

When I was young I distinctly recall all the trouble I used to get into because I couldn't relate to those around me. I hadn't learned to wear the human "suit" and play nice.

I think that perhaps my previous relationships haven't worked out because of an inherent incompatibility on a fundamental base level. I mean you don't see horses trying to date fish.

Just some thoughts.

Ahhhh two days spent doing nothing but sleeping and reading books completely alone. Now that's what I call a vacation.
So I actually had energy and uploaded some pics of my current Pathfinder character miniature.

There's several more minis I have built and primed but since they're not painted I don't feel like showing them half complete.

The one I'm proudest of is my HALO ODST combat medic nonanthro dragoness. I think i've sank at least $50 into her using at least four different miniature lines worth of parts and am extremely pleased with the results. I also completed her ODST squad and two drop pods. One personal and one squad one. Now I just have to work out the urban camo paint scheme and they'll be done.

Something to look forward to in 2010. }; )

I hate the holidays with a passion. It's cold, dark early, rains a lot, and people drive even worse than normal. Add in most people taking an asston of time off and dumping workload on others, a rush before the end of the year, and rampant commercialism and you have a recipe that makes me want to walk around with a baseball bat with mistletoe tied to it. I usually dig in and try to keep a very low profile until January. Get out there and stimulate the economy or something, just don't expect to see me.

Anyway great commission by  turbinedivinity as usual. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3152842/
That's me as a black latex unicorn mare dressed as Alice of wonderland fame. I love that story, even if it was originally written as pedophile porn. It's furry porn to me and I'm starring.

I've built a ton of new minis but I've been too lazy to put up the new pics. Well take them really. My goal is to do that on Sunday as I finally have some free time.

I don't normally do memes. Most of the time I think they're empty self promotion. But hey this one seems to be slightly deeper than a kids wading pool so here goes. Excuse the sarcasm, I can't help it. }; )

Stolen from turbinedivinity and necrodrone13

Basic

Are you a furry?
No I do random furry memes for fun and profit. Yes I'm a furry. Well scaly actually.

If you have a Spouse/SO - Is he/she a furry too?
Sorta. My mate is a native american shaman and pagan. There is animal influences. I think Bear totem. It's dreadfully complicated.

How long have you been in the community?
What time is it? No seriously though ummmm 14 years I want to say off the top of my head as I recall.

How did you find furry?
Very carefully? I believe I came to embrace the great furry religion (kidding) through meeting zoophiles first. Then maybe it was a MUCK or a MUD that led me to the light. I can't recall, I was all over the place earlier.

What's your reason for furry (what interested you to get into the community)?
Um cause I'm a fucking dragoness?

What's Furry to you?
Your mom's.... oh sorry I got distracted there. Uh I dunno I'll save the pundantry to Dragoneer and others. We're twisted fuckers that love animals in a non pure way. I mean that in the nicest way of course.

If someone found out you're a furry and asked you about it how would you respond?
"Who the fuck told you? Tell me and I shall spare you torment!" Seriously though do I look like a pamphlet? Do you normally run around asking people what it's like to be gay or something? "Excuse me sir, what's it like to be gay?"
I'm not btw, I'm bi, I'm just using that as an example.

What are your favorite aspects of our community?
The free sex. Fuck! I gave that one away. You're all as slutty as I am. Now give me some sugar baby.
Seriously I do like that I share views and fetishes with other people. It makes me feel less dirty. See my Vera "spider" commission. I was like WTF? Other people liked that?

Do you use any furry terms? (i.e. yiff, paws, murr?)
Yiff is tired. It's been put out to pasture. I and my mate say Rowr, nyar, and Growf.

What do you wish furry was NOT associated with?
Overweight fuckers with way too much enthusiasm, no social skills, and no common sense. Yes yes I know I'm not going to generalize but seriously we sure as fuck could use some good PR.

How strongly do you feel about someone bashing the community as a whole?
About as strongly as I feel about bashing your mom. Meaning I don't feel bad about it at all.

How strongly do you feel about anyone bashing you yourself for your interest based on the media's aspect of what furry is?
What? Can you repeat the question? I don't know what the fuck you're trying to get at. Media? Who gives a shit? The media has an attention span of a week at most so you really care what they think?

We all know furries have alot of sexual aspects in this fandom, What's your opinion on it?
Mrrrrph? Sorry I had cock in my snout. What was the question? Ah sexual aspects. Why the hell not? We're sexual creatures. I don't think furrys lust over pron any more than normal people lust over mundane pron. We didn't invent sex or pron people. We just made it better. }; )


Personal


What is/are your fursona(s)?
I'm a black non anthro latex skinned female dragon.

Do you have any fetishes that pertain to the fandom?
I have enough fetishes to relate to almost everyone.

If you could magically morph into your fursona would you?
If you could magically win the lottery would you? Seriously, stupid fucking question. Gee I wonder. I've only devoted my entire life and career to genetic engineering and transhumanism.

Do you believe you have a spirit animal?
No.

What other fanbases/groups are you a part of?
I'm into RPG and gaming in general. I also enjoy wargaming, writing, and building and modding fast cars. Especially JDM.

Anthro/Feral, Therian or Kemonomimi (Not a furry, just a human with animal ears and a tail)?
Where the hell did this term Feral pop up from? Really one day I was non anthro then another I was "Feral", tommorow I might be "quadrupedal".

Are you a fursuiter? If yes, how many do you own?If No, do you ever plan on being a suiter?
Honestly I can see why some people do it. But the cartoony mascoty suiters look ridiculous to me. I've done ponyplay so I guess that counts. If I suited, and I'm thinking about it, it'd be in a more realistic direction. Something you'd see in a film not a cartoon.

How many of your friends are furry?
In real life? One and we just happened to run into each other two months ago. Online an asston.

How many pets do you own, if any?
None. I could always use a good submissive though.

Aside from furry what other interests do you have?
Your mom... Oh sorry there I go again. I put this in groups part of.

Are you confident enough in yourself to say that you're a fur, no matter what the media says?
Huh? Oh I'm a fur all right but if you mean am I going to shout it from the rooftops? Fuck no. I'm a semi public figure. I have to watch my image. My future prospects and job opportunities would be very likely diminished if I let it all hang out. It's called diplomacy and subtlety people. Learn it.

Meatups


Do you attend any cons? If no, would you attend any cons? If yes, which cons have you been to?
I haven't been to a con in years. I always mean to go. Maybe I'll drag myself to FC or CF or whatever is coming up.
It'd be nice if I was dragged to one.

Do you go to local meetups(bowling, public outings...etc)?
Nah, I would though. I'm so far out of the loop these days it's not even funny. College really sort of fucked my social life up and I haven't recovered since I graduated three years ago.

Have you ever attended a furry party? If no, would you attend one?
You mean an orgy right? Ha seriously though I'd go. I need to get out more.


Online


Have you ever met up with a fur you talked to online?
Does your mom count? Um yes.

What furry websites do you attend?
I'm pretty sure this one counts.

What non furry websites do you frequent?
Well shit why not ask me what cereal I eat? Hmmm well there's Paizo.com, Eclipsephase.com, dumpshock.com, fetlife.com, myth-weavers.com, etc etc.

Has the fandom done anything for you that you're thankful for? Has it taught you anything or brought you anything you treasure greatly?
Yes. It's always nice to get confirmation that you're not the only one who has "those" thoughts and fetishes.
You're my weird fucking family and I fit right in.