My mind is pure. Focused on the new future I want to make. I finally understand it now. And now, It's my turn to throw away the past.

I'm cutting ties with it, I'm pulling out all the stops, I'm putting an end to my Obsession.

But before I say goodbye, there is one thing that the two who have blocked me back then should know: Anyone can change.

Sure, what I did back then was bad enough, But Was I able to bounce back from that? Yes, I was able to get myself out of the hole I dug myself into because of my actions, But I didn't do it alone. I had my friends.

Another thing to know is that, In the words of a friend of mine: It’s because, no matter how hard things get, or how bad things become.

Anyone can change, no matter how bad the deed, as long as they try to.

it’s wrong to ban someone from life for one bad mistake, or even 2 or 3.

So whenever someone makes me lose my cool, I just remember…

They can change, they can become a better person, as long as they try to achieve that.

But even then, I wouldn't need you to fuel my obsession anymore... because you and I are through. I have accepted my fate, And will move on from your lives. One of you said so yourself that you weren't a part of either of our lives, So, why should I be a part of yours?

Regardless of which. Another friend wants to tell you something. Something very important.

“This is truly an incredible stepping stone in Alpha’s life. Before now, he would sometimes get upset because of what he did and being unable to do anything about it. I know how badly an event like this can scar you. But I’m still living. And so is he. And with this revelation, he is finally making the steps to leave this whole thing behind once and for all. I have already relayed Alpha’s apologies to both Chris and Reynard, and they have heard them loud and clear. So if someone gets on your nerves, don’t block them, not yet. Give them a few chances, let them learn the error of their ways. We often block people without realizing just what being blocked does to people. It not only burns bridges, but as demonstrated here, it can lead to serious mental health problems. True, there are some people that are utterly disgusting, but Alpha is not one of them. He has learned his lesson, and is starting to move on.

We all deserve a second chance.

We all deserve to be loved.

We all deserve to be happy.

We all deserve to be recognized as human beings, not monsters.”

- The D-Man 2003

With that, I believe I have burned through my second chances, And Am Willing to wave the white flag. You don't have to give me another chance if you wanted. Once I'm through, I can stop thinking. Why? Because... I am taking the road to a new dawn...

The road to a new future...

And to be honest, I've never felt happier. Honestly, Should I not have called the Suicide prevention hotline, I would not have gotten the help he wanted me to get... but to make sure, I'm going to attend therapy, to make sure this obsession no longer exists, and then... well... the chains are broken, and I finally get to walk again. I'm on the road to recovery, and nobody can stop me on my way.

This ends... for all of us.

Feel free to dm me so we can talk. Unfortunately, I will only accept those who are 18+ and up. Anyone below will be ignored.

Any permaberry enthusiasts out there that wanna chat with me? Send a note if you are interested.

Good news! I published Eternal Hope on Wattpad!
Take a read if you want.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/38465.....phaTheBird1720

You matter in your life. Don't let anything stop you.
So what if you feel like you hot rock bottom? There's onely one way to go, and that's up!
The lights of hope will always be there for you, even if you can't see it. It'll always be welcoming for you in open arms.

I have changed my final species to the glorious and wonderful hippopotamus. Sure, some people might mock my decision, but at the end of the day, I have never felt more like me until now...

I wonder how  CrizBN and  ChaseReynard Think of me now...? I was involved with my recklessness that ended up getting me blocked, and when attempting to make amends, Since I was still crazy and reckless, They didn't let me. Chris even stated that he didn't want to forgive people who were toxic to him in the past, and Reynard outright said that I was crazy, and That I would never change...


But that was then, When I was young, Crazy and reckless, even delusional at times... I am no more than the crazy figure that I once was... I've been blocked by them for 3 years, and that was more than a lesson enough that led me to being a better person in life here. But since they think I'd never change, They probably won't ever believe my words, so I wouldn't really expect them to secretly forgive me and not tell me.

But I do wanna tell them this...

From the bottom of my heart...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything back then that made me the way you view me as.

I was young and reckless, and didn't know any better. I thought I could get my way when I begged for it, and when I didn't, I would get angry, like a spoiled brat...

But that was then. And this is now.

I'm Not the same delusional, crazy kid that I used to be... but, Knowing to the both of you, who think that I'll never change... and never want to forgive me...

It's fine to me. Fine by me.

I just came here to confess my sins to you, in hopes that, one day, ws could put this all behind us and move on... in fact, I have parted ways since then... 3 years ago, to be exact, and moved on to other things in my life rather than just pestering you both.

I met someone who has now become my co-writer, Who actually understands me, and understood my problems, and actually wanted to help me redeem myself, even if he didn't know much about it imwhen we first met.

Together, we wrote some wonderful stories, and even had fun times together, and, as of now, We've been working on a game, but the production of the game is currently in Hiatus due tk things beyond our control, but rest assured, once it gets in check, It will be good in the end...

His username is  TheD-Man2003, and if you think I am being untruthful, Then D could vouch for me... He could help me tell you that, The Alpha you met a long time ago, isn't the same as the Alpha you're speaking to now, as, well... Time moves on.

I'm still here, But I have shown to proven myself while I was away... unlike one person on DeviantArt I used to know, who clearly could never change his ways... thinking he could do the grossest thing imaginable, and could just get away with it... I worked with D to expose him, but he always lurks on Discord... always roaming the world, and looking for someone he could ravish for his grotesque amusement...

Following that, D wanted to tell you something, to help me explain to you...

"I must admit, I had my doubts as to how the friendship between Alpha and I would end up. But I don't have those now. We started off pretty small, just making short little stories that we posted onto DeviantArt for all to view.

I built up a trust in Alpha, though he didn't mention his past with you; that wasn't until last year where I learned just how much he had messed up in the past. When I heard that, I knew that this was no ordinary relationship. We were still friends, but now, I had a mission of my own with this person: to help him feel better about himself.

To help him move on in life, basically.

Three years, he's been stuck in this eternal feeling of guilt and remorse, with no way for the people who need to hear his cries able to hear him. When he told me what he did, I looked back at our time together. So much had happened since then, and not once had Alpha ever acted the way he described himself to behave towards you.

He's changed. He's not an arrogant and demanding brat. He's learned his lesson after you blocked him. He never asks for anything out of me, aside from my participation in his stories, which I am more than happy to oblige.

I hear his cries; they bring tears to my eyes. And yet... I'm not the one who should hear them, who needs to hear them. He's wanted to say this for months--possibly years-- to you, but never had the opportunity, at least until now."

-TheD-Man2003

But the point is... I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I have been the way I was back then... even how I behaved, Inadvertently been toxic to you both, Trying to use my autism as an excuse... I'm sorry about everything... all of those acts... it's my fault. All of it. I told my friend, D, about it, and he understands me, But I can't explain this myself...

Due to My autism, I can't truly explain things properly... and I'm not using that as an excuse this time, I truly mean it.

And as for my words, I truly mean it this time... I am not making anything up just so I could slip back into my old ways, and just beg like old times... I just wanted to put an end to this conflict. I just wanted to have a chance to at least atone for my sins and move on from the incident 3 years ago...

But knowing about how you probably would act... that may not be the case... Hopefully one day, you could see this, and maybe forgive me from the sins of the past... but knowing how life can be...

That never may turn out to be...

-Alphathebird1720

Another little thing to note that I forgot to mention yesterday was that I make great food when given the opportunity. If you guys wanna see my creations, just let me know. I'd love to hear about your thoughts!

So, a thing about me is that I much prefer Writing over drawing. I write stories mostly on Deviantart (Which might end up getting taken down one of these days. The site itself, not my stories.) That focus on different ideas and adventures.

As of now, Me and my Friend,  TheD-Man2003 are working on a Game based on one of our stories, which was written as a Prequel to one of our series.
Currently, 2 episodes are complete, with LOADS more on the way. As we speak, Development for Episode 3 is underway, with currently delays.

If you want to help us out in the project, Feel free to contact me and D. We'd appreciate it.

As for my stories, I mostly write different ideas for Fangames, Such as Pokémon Mystery Dungeon and Sonic. If you are interested, Please see my deviantart Page for more info here.
https://www.deviantart.com/alphathebird1720

As for my plans here on FA, I mainly usually just watch things around the site, mainly checking out the new things posted. I don't need attention, but recognition and feedback is appreciated.

Thank you for your attention and Have a wonderful Day.