I've just finished my first week at my new job working for a place called H'Attitude, a hat shop. I've kept some hours at Eddie Bauer, but this new job is near perfect for me. It's a small hat shop, with very little pressure, the woman who runs it is super nice too. :3

I used to always want a hat collection, and they've got a massive selection of bowlers, boaters, fedoras (and Trilby's), pork pie's, top hats, fisherman's, peaked caps, newsboys, flat caps, deerstalkers, homburgs, and it goes on. <3

In fact, there's a perfect red bowler I waaaant, it would be perfection with the ideas I'm having with my hair.

Bluh
I really don't know what to make of my work anymore. I feel constantly stressed, angered, and I can't even bring myself to care about my work... It's started with a new manager who seems to take the job too seriously. In case you don't know, I work for Eddie Bauer as a 'sales associate', and frankly, if they find this journal I could even be fired because apparently I'm not allowed to discuss my job, make any comments that could possibly be construed as negative (or funny for that matter). They will however, allow positive comments, of course.

Anyway, this new manager is there for a short period of time, and I've been at the cash desk for a while now, and we're supposed to put forward our current PWP (Purchase with Purchase. Basically a gimmick to add on items to a purchase, stuff like water bottles are 7.99 with any purchase today.) We also need to put forward our card at the cash desk, it's a free card, but not worth it in my opinion. Every day we have a different goal, we require so many sign ups and PWP per shift, and every fucking time this new manager is there, he's taken it upon him to 'coach' me about how to do it. He always words it to the person in a way that seems to me to shove it in their face. I ask, he goes "Lets sign you up!" and puts the card in front of them and doesn't let them say no. I'm super polite, I always have been, even if I don't like you, I'll always try to be polite unless you've been impolite to me, and frankly I'd be pissed if someone tried that. Ask me, don't fucking shove it in my face. He does the same thing with the PWP and he expects me to do it every time, which I'm incredibly uncomfortable with.

I like all of the other managers too, but there are times that I really feel overwhelmed, and constantly observed, which is like someone staring at you for hours waiting for you to screw up so they can swoop in and call you on it and tell you what you did wrong. I've had shifts where it's been just me and three other managers, and I just feel terrible. I hate going in to work now, and with the dress code set so I can't have more than two piercings (one for each earlobe), no coloured hair, and you pretty much have to wear their clothing (none of which fits me well, and I'd rather not dress like a 40 year old thank you very much). On top of the managers in person, every shift you have is measured by UPT (Units per Transaction), ADS (Average Dollar Sale, the total $ per sale), and a sales goal we have every day. So on an average day I have to do cash and sales in mens, so I have to get my PWP goal, my cars sign-ups goal, my UPT goal, my ADS goal, and my Sales Goal, while generally two managers oversee me. It's fucking nuts. They put this up and also note the top and bottom three every day and on a weekly chart as well in the back, and every time they have a talk with me I can feel my insides shrivel a little more.

I've been working for about 9-10 months there now, and I feel so utterly stifled it's been seriously affecting me. My imagination has completely died, and even I think I'm the most fucking boring person to talk to. I still get random bursts, but any feeling to rp just feels terrible, and even my urge to get into gaming, especially my DnD session with friends has died too, and it's one of the few times we all get together now. I just feel completely drained and like my brain is a blustery, sandy wasteland.

On top of that I'm going into university (hopefully) and my parents are requiring for me to pay for half of it, amounting to about 1500 dollars. Which normally wouldn't be much, but I'm getting terrible hours at work, which means I need to stay in my soul sucking job, cut costs, and look for a job on top of it as well. Also, with me getting my credit card from Scotiabank, they've frozen 600 dollars in my accounts for 'insurance' that I don't go crazy and rack up a credit bill. I have a 500 dollar limit. Every one of my friends with their banks (a credit union and TD) have 1000 limits, and have never had money held. I get the money back next year, with interest they said, except the bill to keep the account with the 600 open is already taking more money out than I am getting back, and now 600 dollars I was sure I would have for university I need to wait a fucking year to get back. So fuck you Scotiabank, you fucking assholes. If I can't go to university due to money issues, I am going to raise hell with them, and I'm not going to stop until I get my god damn money back. I've had a fantastic credit record, never missed a payment, and I still can't get a fucking break.

So yea, end of rant. I'm tired of being drained, I'm tired of being poor, tired of not being able to do what I want with my body, and tired of being fucked over by rules and corporations that make me feel like shit.

So yea, like it says on the page, I'm Canadian eh, currently living in Winnipeg, Manitoba (If there are any Winnipeg furs I'd be interested in meeting c:). I kinda found my way to the fandom through my friend Chak who I've known for like 6 years or so now, and in our last year of junior high he kind of showed me around, especially in what is now my main medium of talk, Skype.

For the last 4 years I've been hopping chatroom to chatroom meeting new people (all of whom have pressured me to make an FT, or an FA :P), some amazing, some now remain blocked, but it's been an interesting ride so far, and after my year off after high school, as I start university I'm kinda feeling drawn towards FA.

I should probably say some basic stuff about me as well. I'm gay, I've known so for about 2 and a half years (late enough to have a completely psychotic girlfriend). I kind of found out about myself right after she broke up with me, the idea of it hadn't even occurred me, it just wasn't talked about in school or at home up to that point. I came out to my parents about a year into knowing I was gay, telling them in the same conversation that I was dating someone close to double my age, which, no brainer, didn't end well. After a small series of relationship debacles here I am single, but looking forward to new opportunities.

I have a few ideas of a background or story for Fritz, but they're only some vague ideas. Chak and Alexx have both seriously contributed to the idea of Fritz, and perhaps another reason I'm making this account is to get back charge of him in some way. If I had to explain a vague outline of the character, I'd have to sort of explain where it started, all in Skype chat rp's. Rp's where I died. Again. And Again. And Again (I'm not even into gore, I swear). He's named Soul Fritz for a reason, and he's apparently become a quick magnet for a host of terrible ways to kill/maim/injure him, despite every effort to keep him alive. But it gave me the idea for a different angle to approach Fritz, and I'm actually kind of happy that it turned out that way. Effectively he's a ghost, of unknown age and origin. Remembers european history rather well, seeing as he was probably there for at least some of it. He doesn't seem to remember anything from what would be his first, true life, and doesn't care to know, the world's too interesting for him to worry about what's happened.

Frankly all of this is terribly written, and a lot of things in my life are really left out, but I figured I might as well get a journal out here. I really don't know what I'm going to do on FA, or how it may all turn out, but hopefully it will be an interesting journey