Well, I'm laying around waiting for phone calls from "prospective employers". Which means that many thoughts cross my mind. Mostly about society and stuff, wish I had someone to talk to more often.

I don't know what to do anymore. I am sick in bed right now from a disease that nearly killed me last time. Last time, I was sick with whatever this is for 7 days and I couldn't get up to eat and sometimes to go to the bathroom. I was crawling everywhere because it was too painful to stand all the way up. Since my depression has been increasing. I didn't eat and didn't sleep because my body did't let me sometimes and I didn't feel hungry.I didn't have any of my freneds' phone numbers and they turned up on day 7 and nursed me back to health. I don't want this to become common. I think my depression has something to do with it and I probably should go seek professional help. But I keep getting visions of a really hazy time in my life plus I had some really bad drugs used on me at one facility. I don't trust them very well and I don't want to go back... I dunno what to do. Please help me if you can.

My will to live is fading. I have been hit so hard by depression lately, I just want to fade away. My food intake has been steadily decreasing, maybe I will starve in my sleep. I've lost so much weight and it's not helping my already less than liked appearance. I'm calling for help, but everyone seems too far away or not to hear. I want to live, but it's getting harder and harder to keep going. I need help. I need it bad. I'm strong, but not strong enough to do this.

I hate christians for many reasons...
I can't marry my love,
They blame us for weather
They do everything they can to keep us down:
But the greatest cruelty is that they tell us to rejoice the dead.

To congratulate those who stopped intentionally too soon or last too long, for finally finding peace.
To be happy that we lost in the end...

They ask us to fear what should be loved;
Hate what should be accepted;
Shun those who need us;
Give where help is not needed;
And take what is not theirs as their own.

I wore a mask every day. I managed to get a few friends. I got lucky. My family hates my guts and they don't even know I'm gay. They don't know I'm a furry... I wear a mask to make them miss it... I took it off because I found someone I loved, someone who wanted the real me. I took it off and became their own. But everyone must leave me... He wasn't happy enough...
I exist as nothing. I am Imperfect. I am not enough...
I am a wolf in the wrong shape. I am begging him. Pleading. I would cut off my fingers to keep him close. I just can't stand to loose him; My love. My other half. If you can hear me... Please, don't let me drown.