It's only been a month into 2014 but it's been a pretty interesting one, I think. I've felt some happiness, a lot of disappointment, stress, and other things. Right now, I'm kind of under the impression that only bad things happen to me, because I've yet to have anything nice happen so far, in such a long time. That probably sounds typical, but despite those feelings, I always feel like I could at least turn to art and be able to express myself.

However, lately, it's hard to even turn to art to help me feel better. I feel like since I had the whole incident two years ago where I took on too many commissions and it took me a long time to finish them and let many of my customer's down, I stagnated severely. It's like, I have so many ideas in my head, all the time, so much artist ambition, but I can't express those ideas, at all. Like, my imagination and creativity is not synced with my hands. Not being able to do what I like and what I'm most known for is a horrible feeling. I find myself staring at my sketchbook, wanting to draw something and nothing comes out. When it does, I erase my progress after 5 minutes, over and over again, and then three hours pass by and I have literally nothing done. It's terrifying when someone asks me to teach them, because I feel like I have nothing to teach, or I'm not confident enough with my art to teach someone else my crappy techniques. I've been an artist for almost a decade and I feel like I should have progressed so much further along but I haven't. I'm all style and no substance. My art has no emotion, it's stale, and I have no idea how to fix it. When I try and draw something, I'll know what I want, but once I begin and drawing a small part of it, my mind shuts down and I have absolutely no idea how to proceed. I understand anatomy but at the same time I don't understand it all and I don't know how to bend it to my will. I know I have a great style but I have not lived up to my potential at all. I've seen some beginner artists since I joined FA who, only a couple of years later, have even surpassed me.

Right now, I feel like I should stop taking commissions, finish the ones in the queue, and take a hiatus, or something. The pressure of owing commissions, the pressure of graduating, the pressure of juggling my clusterfuck of emotions together and trying to find a balance is becoming overwhelming. I'm mentally exhausted, and tired, and little stupid things keep happening to me and killing my motivation. Sometimes I feel really hopeless.

Hello to my commissioners! I just wanted to say I deeply apologize for the lack of updates regarding my commissions. I've had a really busy month apparently. I was gone to FC and school also started this week, and is kind of kicking my ass. I'm still trying to settle in, so I'm really sorry I haven't worked on anything for about a week x_x; and now I think I'm getting sick, fuuu

So, I'll be trying my best to get things done this week, no worries!

I haven't really decided if I'm going yet or not.

Anyone here thinking about going? :O

Whew! Okay, so...

Further Confusion was my first furry convention, the first time I've traveled that far, and the first time I've been on a plane! So, a lot of things were happening at once! I had a lot of anxiety, really. I had no idea what to expect, and being so far from home, it was completely new for me. It took me a day or so to get used to the atmosphere, but I actually really enjoyed the whole thing, and now I'm getting post-con feels. :c

Anyway, I'm definitely going to try my best to attend next year's FC, possibly with  kiv and hopefully be more prepared. I was kind of on a strict budget, because the holidays kind of fucked me up financially for a while. I didn't actually get to buy art or anything, or get badges done beforehand D:



I met a lot of amazing people and artists while I was there :)

I pretty much spent most of the con with  doggity, that beautiful fuck, my favorite person. He's a pretty well-known person around the con, but he won't admit it.
Aside from that, got to chill with my bro  vasuki, along with  voe.  dai-studios,  orangetavi,  agrimmwolf,  werelion2003

Roomed with  e-w01f, who, by the way, is tall as fuck, but he is a pretty legit bro and kicks massive amounts of ass at Smash Bros. Even got to the semi-finals! Also roomed with  iKaz and Oji, both fun and easy to talk to. Really enjoyed my roommates. :)

Unfortunately I did not get to meet  november, the only reason I was able to go to FC this year. I owe it all to him, I never realized what I was missing until now!

I had a lot of shenanigans happen while I was there, which included getting lost on multiple occasions because I have 0 sense of direction. But I am so exhausted, so glad I'll get to sleep in my own bed tonight.

I'm sure I've forgotten things to write but I am so tired and just want to sleep. Good night everyone~

Where are you staying?
Fairmont

Arrival/Departure
Thursday evening

Sharing a room with
 e-W01F and other persons!

Who do you hang out with?
 doggity and  e-W01F and hopefully  vasuki

Gender
male

Relationship Status
dead inside

How old are you?
23

How tall are you?
5'9"

Are you an Artist?
yes i draw furries

Do you have an artist table?
no i'm not cool enough for this

Do you take commissions?
NO

Do you do trades?
NO

Are you a Fursuiter?
NO

Attending parties?
.......I DON'T KNOW

Do you drink?
yes

Can I buy you a drink?
NO

Do you smoke?
NO

Are you attending any panels?
MAYBE ART PANELS

Stage or public performance?
WHAT NO

How do I identify myself to you?
call me orion

Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
do not touch me i will actually end your life jk if i know you you can hug me

How can I find you?
if you have my number call me i guess??????!!! what

Can I talk to you?
yes kind people

Can I give you lots of money?
yes because i am poor

Can I give you stuff?
yes because i am poor and like nice things

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
NO

Can I come to dinner with you?
......IF YOU'RE PAYING MY WAY

Can I hang out with you?
if you can find me

Can I take your picture?
.........NO....... maybe we'll see

How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
if i am strangling another person or persons

Personality Type?
rude and full of hate but deep down a nice person

What's your goal for the con this year?
i am not sure i've never been to a con like this i have no idea what to expect!!!!!!!

i feel oooooold

plops on bed, kill me now

I'll be attending FC 2014! :D

Now I just need to figure out who I'll be roommates with.

I'll be accepting applications for commissions for the next two hours, afterwards I'll delete any others (except character portraits).

Please be sure to follow my guidelines!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5214326/

Character Portrait applications are open! (And will always be open)

General commission applications will be opened tomorrow at 7pm (UTC -06:00)

Please follow these guidelines: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5214326/

Contacts:
•All payments will be sent via Paypal to 'liberatedliberator@aol.com'
•In addition, I will be the one to send invoices, in most cases.
•All commission applications will be sent to alusiren_arts@aol.com. I will send you a confirmation email that I've received your application.
•If you need to contact me about a commission, you are welcome to note me on FurAffinity.
•I'll be sending notes via this website to present sketches and WIPs, unless the customer prefers a different communication method.
•You can also find me on Twitter at Aluminemsiren.



Commission Application:
•When sending an application via email, please title the subject of the email with '(Commission type: Username)'. An example would be 'Character portrait: Aluminemsiren:'
•The contents of the email should be as follows:

Reference(s):
Description:
Additional info:
Paypal Email:

•I can work with text-based references.
•Please provide the most accurate references for your characters and anything they'll be wearing, that includes photo references.
•I will accept adult art at my own discretion. I will not accept anything fetishy, most likely. That includes feet/paws, micro, vore, etc.




Payment
•For character portraits, I will send you an invoice after I show you a sketch.
•For general commissions, I request that half the payment be given up front. When I've completed the piece, I will request final payment. If you wish to give the entire payment up front, that is up to you.
•If I request the first payment and you do not reply back in 48 hours, I will cancel the commission and delete the application.
•If you request a refund half-way through the commission process and I've already sketched, lined, or colored your piece, you will not be given a full refund. It will be adjusted accordingly.
•I require at least two weeks to work on a commission.
•If you have a specific deadline, such as a birthday, please let me know in your application.
•If you do not receive a sketch from me in the two week period, either due to my own busy schedule or any other reason, I will note you and offer you a refund if you so desire.



Commission Process:
•You will first be noted with a sketch. I can adjust it according to the customer's wants. I'll only allow one major revision per commission. Any more and I'll charge extra.
•I'll begin inking and coloring afterwards, and then note you with the flat colored image to make sure the colors and image itself are correct so far.
•Finally, when the image is done, I can make adjustments if need be. Color adjustments are free. If you ask me to change anything major, you'll be charged extra as this should have been covered at the sketching process.



Post-Commission:
•Once the piece is finally complete, you are welcome to re-upload it to your gallery, as long as it's linked to the original submission if possible. If I haven't uploaded it, you can just link to my page instead.
•You are welcome to use this piece for your own personal use. That includes making icons, avatars, using for page layouts, etc.
•I hold the rights for the piece, which means I'll post it accordingly to my gallery or wherever else I upload art. If you want this to be private commission, or a surprise for someone, please let me know in advance.
•Do not attempt to resale the commission for profit. If for whatever reason you'd like to buy the rights of the image from me, please let me know.

Well, I've finally finished off my old commission queue! I was pretty foolish before trying to take on so many commissions at once, and I definitely paid the price for it. I apologize to my commissioners for the trouble, but I've learned from it, and I'll never make that mistake again. I've learned my limitations and come a long way.

For the time being, I'll be setting up for new commissions. I haven't figured out how I want to accept commission applications yet. I might do them by email, then send notes with the WIPs, etc. My policies will also be a lot different this time around, more clear and to the point.

PS. For anyone interested in a portrait, I doubt I'll be taking a lot of these anymore. I'll likely take two at a time, but I'm not sure yet. They're not my favorite thing to do, but a lot of people seem to enjoy them! However, the price will go up for them, to compensate for the cost of ink pens, etc.

So, there is a chance I'll be attending FC!

The problem is, I've never really traveled that much, so I really need advice about lodging, and other first-time advice kind of stuff. I guess that means I'll have to find someone to share a room with, too. Also, I need advice on how to best plan out the trip, expense-wise.

I'd really appreciate the help!

1. Why did you join FurAffinity?
I think at the time I began doing small commissions on another website, and I kind of want to expand on that. I didn't know what I was getting myself into :P

2. What does your username have to do with you?
I am bad at making up my own usernames so instead I used the name of one of my favorite characters from a certain old-as-fuck anime.

3. What is your current avatar of?
Orion

4. How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
Watched by 6328, watching 581!

5. Do you have more than one account?
Not on here, I do not.

6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA
I have so many favorites, it's hard to choose.. as of right now, it's  superslickslasher,  null-ghost, and  vasuki

7. What artist do you admire because of their personality?
 doggity because WE'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS, HAVING SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER, YOU'RE NOT EVEN AWARE YOUR SUCH A FUNNY PAIR, YOU'RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS

8. Do you comment, fave, or both?
I mostly fave, every once in a while I tend to leave a comment if a piece really sticks out to me

9. What do you typically post on FA?
The damn character portraits

10.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
I don't really have a favorite at the moment, though I really love the one with Orion and Sethule c:

11. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
Backgrounds, I need to learn how to draw damn backgrounds.

12. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
Not that much at all really, usually pop in every once in a while for like 10 seconds to check for any new things

13. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Fast, I think.

14. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
I guess when someone notes me asking them if I can draw their character out of the blue and for free.

15. What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
I don't mean to toot my own horn but I've only ever received nice comments, sometimes REALLY nice comments :P

16. What/who inspires you?
There are many things. There are artists with really unique styles, and sometimes I get inspired when I watch something neat, like a nicely animated anime or movie.

17. Everyone has considered leaving FA once or twice. Have you? Why?
No, because I would most likely come back if I did

https://alusiren.sofurry.com

If you want to watch me, etc

Just testing it out~

Since my internet isn't being ass anymore, I might stream the new Amnesia some time during the day it comes out, while doing a skype call with  inkjet

because everyone knows the most fun is had when neither parties have played the game yet 0_0

I set up my Xbox with Live, so if anyone wants to add me on their, my gamertag is "Alusiren" :O

The only games I really have to play Live with is Halo 4 and Street Fighter 4 AE >>;

Day 2 since surgery.

Yesterday, had a big ol' patch on my eye that got covered in bloody tears and was uncomfortable as all hell. A lot of ibuprofen later and I did not feel much pain most of the night. Finally took the patch early in the morning and dabbed my eye with water so I could open it, because it was dried shut lol. It's still sore, enough to where I can't kept it open for more than a few seconds at a time. Most likely by tomorrow it'll be more functional and not as sore.

But I'm happy to say that the surgery was a success and my old prescriptions are no longer necessary! I still have astigmatism but that was expected. It means that I'll most likely order a pair of scriptions glasses that I'll only wear when driving or reading or drawing art. I might also get some contacts to see how those feel. It really depends how my vision is like when I can finally focus.

because she makes amazing sculptures, obviously

 mytoast is open for some friggin' beautiful sculptures again since her hiatus, please consider her for a commission! you will not be disappointed c:

Bleh, so I'm getting eye muscle correction surgery to finally fix my fucked up eyes.

I went to pre-op today expecting to pay about $200 but then was suddenly slapped with an $800+ bill that apparently does not cover facility fees and shit for the actual day of my surgery. Kind of a slap in the face, but it's possibly a mistake by the insurance (that's what I'm hoping, anyway). But I still had to put down $600 on a credit card. Basically, I'm in the hole for a while lol still have to finish paying for school and other shit.

Anyway, it basically means commissions will be my top priority, so I'm gonna try to finish what I owe (which is very little at this point) and try to open up for commissions as early as this weekend. We'll see what happens.


tl;dr life sucks

seriously i wish in this day and age i didn't have to pay an arm and a leg to properly be able to see and function like a normal person, but i guess that's where we're at

 doggity convinced/forced me to make a twitter sooooooo you can find me here: https://twitter.com/aluminemsiren

@_@

i think there is a possibility that I haven't drawn a female in well over a year and I tried to draw a female character and was like WHOOOAAAAaaaa wtf is going on it looks weird

has this ever happened to anyone? this tends to happen because most art i've drawn on here is male characters because lol fa

I'm going on a little vacation with some friends, for a long overdue break. I need some relaxation time before school starts @_@ because work sucks the life outta me.

Gonna try to fit in some art, sketches and 3ds doodles.

Also, commissions will open soon, because I only have 3 or 4 portraits left to do B)

Alpha and Omega 2







why you do this

While it's still Tuesday OOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooookay

I will answer questions, 3deep5u questions, personal questions (maye not too personal WHOAAA), w/e bring it on muchachos

any of you COOL PEOPLE watch the last episode this week? or watch the anime in general? not gonna lie, i loved the anime. it had shit pacing, but the anime invoked such a different atmosphere and many different emotions that i didn't feel when just reading the manga.

and i'm hoping so bad they're actually going to do part 2, they can't just TEASE US with the damn future montage and not do this shit. got chills during the spoken line during the festival scene ;0; still waiting for the soundtrack and EP release. damn it.