I'm gonna be there! Hit me up if y'all are there and wanna say hi. I'm just bumbling around with my significant other and our usual con group.

-
Be good, and if you can't do that don't get caught. ;p

Here we are. Another day, another week, another month, a year's gone by. Time is just trickling out of that little hourglass at an astonishing rate.

The last thing I posted was a song that I couldn't think of a name for. It was a complete outpouring and rending of my soul in one of those rare lucid moments where I was able to hold my emotions and thoughts out at arms-length and take a good look at where my life was going. Life has been fuzzy at best what with two jobs and being a full time engineering student, and still somehow balancing hobbies and sleep on top of all that. Musically that song has been my climax, I haven't really written anything that comes close to feeling like it's worth pursuing since I had that jam session way back in August 2016. I'm spent. It's a little terrifying to have come to a point where I'm just done with something that's been as important to me as music. For a long time music was the way I dug deep and exercised my demons, it was my escape. Never before had I wrote a piece that reduced me to tears afterwards, I still come back and listen to this to try and replicate the catharsis that this song was, it hurts so much, but in a good way. Even though I had a tendency to record most of my sessions, they were deeply personal and only ever performed when I was alone at my parents place. Since I've been here in this apartment complex that privacy is gone, there is always someone around somewhere who I know can hear me.

I'm exhausted in just about every way imaginable, the only thing keeping my sane at this point is my significant other and the little light at the end of the tunnel that is my college career. People come and people go, these last six months or so have been a huge learning experience for me, I've been new places, tried new things, met new people, lost old friends and family, learned a hell of a lot about myself. I think I'm ready to come back out from under the 'wraps' that I put over myself. I can't say I know what I'm doing with my life or really even where it's going. But I've opened doors up to huge possibilities and have so many options and fall-backs if I need them. Though exhausting, overall life is good and I'm excited to see what the coming years bring.

-AZR

Not moving, but I made an account over on Furry Network. I like the site design.

https://beta.furrynetwork.com/alyx_ranas/

Also in other news, I haven't been around due to deciding to quit my job and chase a dream, so I'm currently in college for some reason. Haven't had a whole lot of time to draw anything, but I do have a few pencil pieces I'll put up eventually. Also somehow fell head-over heels in love with someone when we both said we weren't looking for a relationship, so there's been that too. ^^

Hope everyone is well!

Well....

I live out in the boonies, which means there are no land line internet services. For years my family has been grandfathered into Verizon's unlimited data usage plan, which is what we've always used for internet.

Last month Verizon started charging us a good bit more because we have that grandfathered contact, okay fine. We still need internet, it wasn't that big of a deal. Last week, Verizon dropped compatibility with the tethering service we use and have throttled us down below dial up speeds. Not really sure what to do about it. Verizon is the only wireless network that works where we live that I know of and satellite is far too expensive for the unreliability you get in return. So I will be inactive online for an indefinite amount of time.

Anyways, I wish you guys ask the best, I'll try to stay in contact as best I can when I'm out in town around places with free WiFi.

Godspeed,
-AZR

My hand is better now! After a whole bunch of time and stuff I can actually move my thumb. I've gone back to work and everything is alright. No thumbnail yet, but whatevs. It might come back it might not, don't know yet.

In other news, today is my 21st. Wheee. I have no idea what to do until dinner time with the family.




Eeeuuuuugggghhhh,

I get to have holes drilled in my bones tomorrow! :D

So my thumb is being a pita and I'm gonna have to have pins put in it so it'll heal together in one piece.

Wheeee. At least it's just my thumb and not like a leg or anything. It could always be worse!

Peace!

I know this is a site containing mostly porn and other disturbing images. I get that. I accept it. It's why I'm here really.

But every once and a while I click on something and reeeeally wish I could have some mind bleach afterwards. O.o



Also in other news. My hand was healing up well so I broke it again on Monday, hurt a lot less the second time around! :D _{Knit dammit!} I want my old splint back, it was a lot more comfortable than this new one. :C

I broke my thumb in two places at work today! Six stitches and a bossin' aluminum splint.

#livin'thedream

Just got back from a weekend at the race track. (I sometimes work as a corner marshal for one of the local road racing organization.) This weekend was an eye-opener.

When people ask me why I race, the old biker adage pops to mind. "I don't race to add days to my life, I race to add life to my days." James Hunt once said something about race-car drivers being more alive because of their closeness to death. It's a truth, there is nothing more exciting to me than strapping into an absolute monster with ten to twenty gallons of high octane race fuel under your ass and going around a track at extreme speeds. I prefer it over sex, over drugs, whatever.

...

I don't know if the driver is okay. I don't know anything about his condition. He hit oil and then wall at the highest speed section of the track. We shut the race-day down entirely and they were going to put him in a chopper and take him to a trauma center, but his condition wasn't stable enough to survive the flight. He ended up at a local hospital until they deemed him stabilized enough to send the the trauma center...

That was Saturday, today continued on as if nothing had happened. Nobody is allowed to say anything to anybody for legal reasons, I just want to know if the driver is still alive you know? He was a young guy, out there in the driver's education series getting to pretend to be a real race-car driver. I'm sure the world completely stopped for his family, they were there and got told nothing as he was cut out of the car and placed into the ambulance.

I've been flagging and attending these events for three years now, I've seen cars explode into flames, flip, get crushed into unrecognizable hunks of steel, but the driver always stepped out and walked away.

Idunno, I'm just kind of in shock at the moment.

I mean, it doesn't change much for me, I'm still gonna be back there in a month, just doing what I've been doing.... But jeez... To see that happen to a young guy, who was in the education series, (Which is slow and 'safe'{compared to the actual race-groups}) I don't know man, I just don't know. Life is a fragile thing, enjoy every second you've got on this earth...

I apologize for rambling... I think it's time for sleep...


[Edit] The driver passed away in the hospital today... I'm completely numb right now...

A friend of mine is hosting a raffle.

He's one cool guy and shows some real promise as an artist! The least I can do is pimp him out since he puts up with my incessant ramblings! ^-^

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/...../#cid:46601438

Do eet!

But I didn't.

F*ck you April Fools day.


Oh hey! Also realized I have one hundred watchers...

I should do something for that...

So I've finally decided to go to college.

And I have no idea.

No freaking idea.

How am I gonna afford it? How will I find the time? How do I get in? What do I do when I'm there? What if I fuck it up? Why didn't I decide to do this sooner? Why didn't I pay more attention in high school? Why can't this be easy? Why can't I go to a cheap college? Why do the cheap colleges not offer the courses I need to take? Why do I need all this core bull-shit? Where am I gonna live? Where and how am I gonna work? How many years do I need to be there? Will the companies I want to work for hire me?

Uuuuggggghhhh...

It'll work itself out one way or another. In the meantime I'm gonna go off and study as hard as I possibly can so I can score well on the SAT. (Because I didn't take the SAT straight out of high school like an ass.) And after that I'll start figuring out what financial aid I qualify for as well as the logistics for getting to and from, feeding myself, sleeping arrangements, etc.

I am a wreck at the moment. lol But I need a degree in engineering to do what I want to do.

Onward! Adventure(Life) awaits!

At some point I musta had a moment and like unwatched a ton of people. Prolly one of my little freak-outs that I used to have. >.< I'm going back and trying to re-watch a lot of people I used to. So my bad entirely.

I feel so dense right about now, I should start developing my own gravitational field shortly. I do apologize for the inconvenience.

-Mr. Stoopid

The Rules: This is fun to do. Just read the 'offense' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE: fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it. And be honest.

Smoked weed -- $10
Did acid or pills -- $5
Ever had sex at church -- $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo/FA? etc -- $25
Had sex for money -- $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican -- $20
Vandalized something -- $20
Had sex on your parents' bed -- $10
Beat up someone -- $20
Been jumped -- $10
Cross dressed -- $10
Given money to stripper -- $25
Been in love with a stripper -- $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know -- $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15
Ever drive and drank -- $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50
Used toys while having sex -- $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20
Went skinny dipping -- $5
Had sex in a pool -- $20
Kissed someone of the same sex -- $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex -- $20
Cheated on your significant other -- $10
Masturbated -- $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20
Done oral -- $5
Got oral -- $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving -- $25
Stole something -- $10
Had sex with someone in jail -- $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures -- $15
Had a threesome -- $50
Had sex in public -- $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex --$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars-- $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) -- $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time-- $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25
Went streaking -- $5
Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15
Been arrested -- $5
Spent time in jail -- $15
Pissed in the pool -- $0.50
Played spin the bottle -- $5
Done something you regret -- $20
Had sex with your best friend -- $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work -- $25
Had anal sex -- $80
Lied to your mate -- $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25


Tally it up and put it on your status as: "My Fine Is..." (nothing else) then repost.

So apparently this has been floating around.

It's interesting to see the results, and the more I think about 'em the more I think they're fairly accurate.



== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
76% Switch
71% Experimentalist
70% Submissive
50% Daddy/Mommy
46% Girl/Boy
46% Masochist
45% Vanilla
41% Bondage Receiver
38% Dominant
34% Primal (Predator)
31% Brat
29% Bondage Giver
29% Slave
27% Primal (Prey)
24% All-Rounder
20% Brat Tamer
16% Exhibitionist
16% Sadist
13% Voyeur
9% Degradation Receiver
8% Degradation Giver
8% Master/Mistress
0% Non-monogamist
0% Pervert
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=58656

I hope everyone had a good holiday season and here's to hoping for a good year for 2015!

I personally shaved for the new year. My face feels soo naked! :D _{Oh god my beard!}

You could always be reincarnated as a toilet...



_{Which I'm sure someone would get off to the idea. ._.;;;}

Started it out by helping my boss replace the rear-differential in our tow truck since he popped it yesterday... :/ Wasn't gonna work on my birthday but ended up working until past midnight since it took so long to get the new diff.

Eh, whatevs. I'm relaxing for the rest of the weekend.

I'm twenty now. o.o Time flies when you least expect it to.

Anyway peace out guys,
-AZR

...that you turned a bunch of aluminum cans into little pieces of machinable bar stock?

Well I wasn't mad, but ah did eet. Just uber exited over being able to screw around with molten metal. :D

RULES
1. Pick one of your OCs. [.....Kay.]
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OC. [Double checked.]
3. Tag four people to do this meme! [No. :I]
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal [Again, no. :I]


OC picked: Obviously Alyx, who is more or less the real me... :/ The Alyx from my Guardians series is not the Alyx I relate to.

1. What is your name?
Alyx Zeltharian Ranas. It's a little long winded I know.

2. Do you know why you were named that?
Ranas is my father's surname. Alyx was the name my parents chose for me. Zeltharian is a status among my kind.

3. Single or taken?
Single. Sadly... Or maybe not so.

4. Have any abilities or powers?
Not particularly, no.

5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
...My name is neither Mary nor Sue. Also, one shouldn't make assumptions. 'tis rude.

6. What's your eye color?
Blue..

7. How about hair color?
Uhh... Light purple...

8. Have you any family members?
Yes, I have a couple. A brother and my parentals.

9. Oh? How about pets?
Uhh, no.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
I race and work on my racecars. That's about it.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Heh, sure but it's not like I'm proud about it.

13. Ever… killed anyone before?
...That's questionable, if I did it wasn't on purpose.

14. What kind of animal are you?
Western Pointed Dragon

15. Name your worst habits.
I grind my teeth, I drive too fast, I gripe and complain too much.

16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Nicki Lauda, Don Panoz, Caroll Shelby, just to name a few.

17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
Straight. But I'm more asexual than anything.

18. Do you go to school?
Not anymore no.

19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
Marry? Yes. Kids... I dunno, not something I've put much thought into.

20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
Not to my knowledge.

21. What are you most afraid of?
The unknown.

22. What do you usually wear?
When I'm at work some grease stained khaki's and an even greasier polo. Anywhere else my appearance varies, I'm such a whore for clothes.

23. What's one food that tempts you?
Pastries and Ice Cream... So evil. ;___;

24. Am I annoying you?
Not really... Well... Maybe.

25. Well, it's still not over!
Huzzah?

26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
I come from a middle class family, but I'm very low class at the moment and it rubs my scales the wrong way.

27. How many friends do you have?
Honest to god real friends? One. He's the only person outside of work or family I ever really interact with. Less so now that he's got a girl...

28. What are your thoughts on pie?
Sooo evil. ;___; *Drools*

30. Favorite drink?
Lemonade

31. What's your favorite place?
Road Atlanta.

32. Are you interested in anyone~?
Yes, very much so someone. She's probably out of my league...

33. That was a stupid question.
Was it?

34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
A lake. I live on one.

35. What's your type?
Uhhh...... XD Very specific.

36. Any fetishes?
Many actually. More than I had originally realized.

37. Seme or uke?
Wut? ._. What does that even mean?

38. Camping or indoors?
Both are fun.

39. Tag People!
Nope.

After being locked out of my account for two days due to a hard-drive wipe. I remembered my password. It's stupid simple too.


I feel like a moron. XDD

I'm just a little frustrated with life right now. I am sooo close to living my dreams, but I feel stuck right in the shadows of those aspirations. I know I have to keep moving forward, but the closer I get the more I want to run away, yet I know once I'm there it'll just be freakin' sweet. I get closer everyday I know but still I feel this way...

Iunno...

This is where I'd scribble furiously if I could...

SO. My dirty secret is that I've pierced my junk. Nine times to be exact. Only six are still intact as I'm writing this. I write this simply for anyone considering genital piercings. I've experienced three different piercings which I will describe my own pros and cons.

Firstly, have you're piercings done by a professional. You'll go though a lot less trouble than I did. If you don't go to a professional at least educate yourself on the matter. The more you know the better off you'll be.

Anyway, I started out with a simple Hafada, or scrotal piercing. These buggers aren't really that painful as far as the piercing goes, but the healing process is hell. It makes walking a pain in the ass (or testicles in this case) for about two weeks or so. And then your balls will smell like cheese for a couple of months until the piercings are completely healed. After that. They're kinda cool I guess. I have six. I had seven but one pushed itself out. As far as the healed piercing goes I don't have much to say about them aside from they look cool. Honestly I forget I even have them sometimes because I can't feel them at all.

I will admit... Magnets are amusing with Hafadas... <.<;;

My second type of piercing was a Prince Albert. It was just fucking awesome. I loved that piercing. The actual piercing hurt. A lot. But was tolerable. The amount of blood though was... Uhh... Disturbing compared to the relatively bloodless hafada. After that the healing process was a breeze compared to my previous hafadas. The only thing bad was urination for the first two or three days. Very little pain healing. After it was fully healed it felt amazing and was a blast to play with. Unfortunately, it got torn out and effectively gave me a meatotomy, which has yet to heal completely. I miss having my PA. And this unhealed cleft is unsightly and just painful at the moment. lol Hoping it'll heal up and prove to be interesting.

The third type of piercing I performed on myself was a dydoe...

No... Just. Fuck no.

The piercing itself was so bad I almost blacked out, which I didn't even do when my PA was torn out. The blood... Oh my god the blood. It looked like a horror movie, I just... Euuugh! The healing process was even worse than hafadas only minus the smell.

After completely healing I found any sort of penetrational sex was painful for me because of the location of the piercing, it just wouldn't stay lubed at all and created a dry spot that just hurt like hell. It wasn't even the good kind of pain. It just hurt. Enough to kill an erection almost immediately. So just absolutely no fun. I know some people have had luck with these piercings but it ain't for me. lol Took it out after much huffing and puffing and throwing a fit for the amount of pain I endured for squat.

Anyway, I though I'd share that for anyone curious about some piercings. Hafadas are okay, PA's are awesome, and Dydoes are disappoint.

Next on my list is a couple frenulum piercings if I ever decide to do them.

Anyway yeah... I just shared maybe too much about myself. >.> _{I'm gonna go hide back under my rock again. o.o}

Blame for this one. C:

Comment here and I'll...

1. Tell you what animal/creature you remind me of.
2. Tell you what color I think fits you.
3. Tell you how I feel about you.
4. Insult you.
5. Tell you my favorite OC of yours. (If you have one...)
6. Tell you what season you remind me of.
7. Tell you what food you smell like in my head.
8. Think of a random nickname for you.
9. Tell you what element you remind me of.
10. Ask you to put this in your journal without using the words 'tag' or 'dare'.




Also on another note, I finally got all my messages down to zero again! Yaaaay! ^-^

I am leaving for Drift Atlanta.

I'll see youz peoples when I'm back!

No I'm not driving my little blue truck, so if you're going don't look for it! lol (Can't fit three people in the truck. Taking the effing Hondurr.)

Anyway!

PEACEANDATUBA!
-AZR