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On Graduation and Anapnea's Bright Future!
Posted 8 years agoHey all! Well, I did it, more or less. Couple loose ends to tie up, one final exam to take on Thursday, my film screening on Wednesday, and graduation on Friday/Saturday.
But starting this Sunday, that's it bb, I'm done! Degree in my greasy little hands, an official BFA in 3D Animation and German Language. An odd mix to be sure, but it's served me very well so far, and I look forward to the places that will take me, family's opinions be damned.
Here's a few cool things of note that happened over my semester of relative silence:
- I was inducted into Delta Phi Alpha, a German Scholarship/Honours Society
- Finished the tremendous amount of work that was my Thesis Film, with the help of a dozen amazing artists from my school, across the country, and internationally.
- Kept a random guy from bleeding out and dealt with ambulance/police while i was home alone 'cause his roommate two houses down shot him (yknow, nbd i live a quiet life)
- Put a security deposit on a lovely apartment with my mate
hyena-smile, where we're going to be moving on August 1!
I'll be sure to post a password protected link to my film, so everyone who has an interest can see it after my screening day~
My hand has recovered, also! So there'll be no delay in my finishing that last lingering commission for the eternally-patient
and move on to exciting things!
1. I'm going to be revising my ToS. Because it's been a while since I last looked it over. If there are any changes, I'll let y'all know of course. I'm definitely going to be making a ToS that's for SFW/non-fetish images so I can use it on my deviantart, which is my SFW gallery.
2. I'm going to be revising my Commission Prices. There will be new guides for the sake of clarity. Some things will be raised, because my rent at the new apartment I'm moving to is going to be higher than my current rent. This price raise comes with the promise of affordable monochrome "coffeehouse" sketch options and a flow of low-SB YCH's!
3. I'm going to be offering Traditional Commissions. Little known fact, I do a lot of work with ink and watercolour! In the new apartment, I'll have space to set up my scanner and have my own little studio with a light-table, the whole nine yards. Soon as I get that up and running, I'll be able to get good-quality examples up and some prices! I think badges would be a good starting point, but I'll set up an interest check sometime around mid-August.
4. There's going to be new Commission Types -- including comic pages, animatic videos, and illustrations with simple animation (glows, smoke, weather effects, etc)
But baby steps first! Lemme get this busy week outta the way!! There's lots of stuff to be excited about, and I'm so hype to continue my journey with you guys at my back! As always, thanks so much for your continued support! I wish everyone luck with their finals, etc~! <3 <3
But starting this Sunday, that's it bb, I'm done! Degree in my greasy little hands, an official BFA in 3D Animation and German Language. An odd mix to be sure, but it's served me very well so far, and I look forward to the places that will take me, family's opinions be damned.
Here's a few cool things of note that happened over my semester of relative silence:
- I was inducted into Delta Phi Alpha, a German Scholarship/Honours Society
- Finished the tremendous amount of work that was my Thesis Film, with the help of a dozen amazing artists from my school, across the country, and internationally.
- Kept a random guy from bleeding out and dealt with ambulance/police while i was home alone 'cause his roommate two houses down shot him (yknow, nbd i live a quiet life)
- Put a security deposit on a lovely apartment with my mate
hyena-smile, where we're going to be moving on August 1! I'll be sure to post a password protected link to my film, so everyone who has an interest can see it after my screening day~
My hand has recovered, also! So there'll be no delay in my finishing that last lingering commission for the eternally-patient
and move on to exciting things!1. I'm going to be revising my ToS. Because it's been a while since I last looked it over. If there are any changes, I'll let y'all know of course. I'm definitely going to be making a ToS that's for SFW/non-fetish images so I can use it on my deviantart, which is my SFW gallery.
2. I'm going to be revising my Commission Prices. There will be new guides for the sake of clarity. Some things will be raised, because my rent at the new apartment I'm moving to is going to be higher than my current rent. This price raise comes with the promise of affordable monochrome "coffeehouse" sketch options and a flow of low-SB YCH's!
3. I'm going to be offering Traditional Commissions. Little known fact, I do a lot of work with ink and watercolour! In the new apartment, I'll have space to set up my scanner and have my own little studio with a light-table, the whole nine yards. Soon as I get that up and running, I'll be able to get good-quality examples up and some prices! I think badges would be a good starting point, but I'll set up an interest check sometime around mid-August.
4. There's going to be new Commission Types -- including comic pages, animatic videos, and illustrations with simple animation (glows, smoke, weather effects, etc)
But baby steps first! Lemme get this busy week outta the way!! There's lots of stuff to be excited about, and I'm so hype to continue my journey with you guys at my back! As always, thanks so much for your continued support! I wish everyone luck with their finals, etc~! <3 <3
Donations for Felixpath's Memorial
Posted 8 years agoFelixpath's family is accepting donations from the community to help pay for a memorial bench in his name -- a good way for the community to come together celebrate the life of a beloved artist gone too soon.
more info at Destrega's journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8199476/
more info at Destrega's journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8199476/
Four Weeks more
Posted 8 years agoFilm is due May 12, I graduate May 19. Dunno when my final exam for German is, nor the exact date of my final paper for art history.
But I'm almost there. I'm almost done, and then I can come back to the world and my life. This semester has been....beyond difficult. I've definitely struggled with work, personal life, depression, and suicidal thoughts. But ffs i'm almost done forever.
My wrist though? it's pretty bad. I'm going to need a little more time to rest it before starting work for you guys.
Let's put a definite date of June 1, and perhaps starting before that.
I miss you all so much and I hope the past months have treated you well. All the best~
But I'm almost there. I'm almost done, and then I can come back to the world and my life. This semester has been....beyond difficult. I've definitely struggled with work, personal life, depression, and suicidal thoughts. But ffs i'm almost done forever.
My wrist though? it's pretty bad. I'm going to need a little more time to rest it before starting work for you guys.
Let's put a definite date of June 1, and perhaps starting before that.
I miss you all so much and I hope the past months have treated you well. All the best~
Hiatus
Posted 8 years agosecond week of the semester and shit is already crazy. the amount of work yet before me is weighing heavy, and the events that are currently happening in america around me are weighing heavier. i can take the stress of thesis or activism, i cannot take the stress of both, i'm finding.
i hurt so much and i've been really tired lately. depression is soaking up all this shit like a sponge. fear of my workload has paralyzed me into inaction too often. i hope that i'll be able to handle my schoolwork better now that i've got most of my queue managed.
now,
and , i'll be contacting you individually to offer a refund of what you've paid. If you want to wait until my thesis is done, that's fine, i'll keep you in my queue. if you'd like your money back and wait to commission me again in May (or not i'm not your real dad), that's also fine! i want to give you the options.
so.....you probably won't see me around here much until May. the faster this film gets done, the faster i can BE DONE. i can be free. i can get my degree and finally have my family off of my back. i can give them all a giant middle finger and ride off into the sunset.
be safe, be strong. feel free to drop me an email if you ever need anyone to talk to: heymisterhangman[at]gmail.com
i hurt so much and i've been really tired lately. depression is soaking up all this shit like a sponge. fear of my workload has paralyzed me into inaction too often. i hope that i'll be able to handle my schoolwork better now that i've got most of my queue managed.
now,
and , i'll be contacting you individually to offer a refund of what you've paid. If you want to wait until my thesis is done, that's fine, i'll keep you in my queue. if you'd like your money back and wait to commission me again in May (or not i'm not your real dad), that's also fine! i want to give you the options.so.....you probably won't see me around here much until May. the faster this film gets done, the faster i can BE DONE. i can be free. i can get my degree and finally have my family off of my back. i can give them all a giant middle finger and ride off into the sunset.
be safe, be strong. feel free to drop me an email if you ever need anyone to talk to: heymisterhangman[at]gmail.com
Pop the Champagne!!
Posted 8 years ago1000 Watchers!! Woot Woot!!! Thank you all so much!
and a thank you to ballisticotters who pushed me into the 4-digits!
I've got a big piece in the works for
nebay , and while that's cookin', i'll drop this lucky otter a note. ;)
and a thank you to
ballisticotters who pushed me into the 4-digits! I've got a big piece in the works for
nebay , and while that's cookin', i'll drop this lucky otter a note. ;)Holy shit Watchers
Posted 8 years agoI've gotten a ton over the past week---welcome to the party! Thanks so much!
I'm nearly to 1000 watchers now-- just sayin, lucky number 1000 might get a little treat from Max ;)
I'm nearly to 1000 watchers now-- just sayin, lucky number 1000 might get a little treat from Max ;)
Who wants to be in a YCH with me?
Posted 9 years ago
amidae's got a sweet cell shaded YCH i'm jumpin' in -- little bit of dramatic irony not-so-sneaky public sex that made me chuckle to myself quite a bit! Max is gonna be the green slot -- who wants to do the nasty in the bg? http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22246649
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22246649
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22246649
Doctor Upd8 [[i'm okay]]
Posted 9 years agoFirst of all thanks for well-wishes! You guys really are the MVPs.
good news! it's a muscle problem and not a nerve problem -- MOST LIKELY.
my doc said the area was pretty well bruised well beneath the skin and my pelvis is out of alignment slightly?? i have absolutely no clue how it happened since i haven't done any sports or any incredibly strenuous activity. but it would explain the pain; the fact that a deep muscle on my right side is pulled/hurt. it's slow to heal cause you use it for everything.
y'know that thing that happens (it always happens to me i dunno if it's universal) when you are feeling really shit so you make a doctor's appointment but then when you go in to the office finally you actually feel pretty much fine? yeah that happened. mmm and i do have to admit, taking it easy these past few days has been helping.
my doc gave me a list of stretches to work on, and i dunno just hearing that it definitely WAS a thing and not made up in my head made me feel so much better. ye olde validation!! i also talked to my doc about meds, got my prescription filled, and a new as-needed anti anxiety which i really needed, because last semester was hell. one of the panic attacks i had was so bad it gave me really intense nausea? i didn't even know that was a thing that could happen but apparently it is.
anyway! no more of that! i am making a chiropractic appointment for this friday, hopefully. i know a really good practice a couple towns over where my Aunt goes, so I'm hoping i can tag along.
Back to work with me!!
good news! it's a muscle problem and not a nerve problem -- MOST LIKELY.
my doc said the area was pretty well bruised well beneath the skin and my pelvis is out of alignment slightly?? i have absolutely no clue how it happened since i haven't done any sports or any incredibly strenuous activity. but it would explain the pain; the fact that a deep muscle on my right side is pulled/hurt. it's slow to heal cause you use it for everything.
y'know that thing that happens (it always happens to me i dunno if it's universal) when you are feeling really shit so you make a doctor's appointment but then when you go in to the office finally you actually feel pretty much fine? yeah that happened. mmm and i do have to admit, taking it easy these past few days has been helping.
my doc gave me a list of stretches to work on, and i dunno just hearing that it definitely WAS a thing and not made up in my head made me feel so much better. ye olde validation!! i also talked to my doc about meds, got my prescription filled, and a new as-needed anti anxiety which i really needed, because last semester was hell. one of the panic attacks i had was so bad it gave me really intense nausea? i didn't even know that was a thing that could happen but apparently it is.
anyway! no more of that! i am making a chiropractic appointment for this friday, hopefully. i know a really good practice a couple towns over where my Aunt goes, so I'm hoping i can tag along.
Back to work with me!!
New Year Update!
Posted 9 years agoI FEEL LIKE SUCH A PIECE OF SHIT but i woke up with some really severe pain in my lower back this morning which has really sapped my concentration today. My lines were absolutely garbage because I just couldn't find a comfortable position to sit in to work. I'm calling my doctor tomorrow to get an appointment, I need to find out if this is nerve-related or muscle related, a slipped disc or what. Because I don't want it to get worse before the semester starts. I have a heating pad on it rn and that makes it tolerable, but there were a couple points today where I was feeling nauseous the pain was so bad.
I'll keep this folder updated with WIPs as I work, so refresh it as often as you like! i'll need a couple days more to get the piece done up to par. I feel really bad pushing it back, I was so excited to get it done for Jan 1, but Quality is the most important thing to me and something I pride myself on, so I hope that you'll understand ^^
You guys did me a huge solid by AB-ing all the slots, and if I produced anything less than my best work I couldn't deal with that.
I'll keep this folder updated with WIPs as I work, so refresh it as often as you like! i'll need a couple days more to get the piece done up to par. I feel really bad pushing it back, I was so excited to get it done for Jan 1, but Quality is the most important thing to me and something I pride myself on, so I hope that you'll understand ^^
You guys did me a huge solid by AB-ing all the slots, and if I produced anything less than my best work I couldn't deal with that.
Happy New Year!!
Posted 9 years agoNew Years YCH will be uploaded tomorrow evening!!
Wanted to get it up at the stroke of midnight, but I had a surprise birthday party to attend!!
As such, I'd like to wish you all a wonderful evening and only the best in the upcoming New Year!!
We're all gonna face new challenges but I know we'll rise to meet them~
I raise a glass to all of you tonight! <3 <3
Wanted to get it up at the stroke of midnight, but I had a surprise birthday party to attend!!
As such, I'd like to wish you all a wonderful evening and only the best in the upcoming New Year!!
We're all gonna face new challenges but I know we'll rise to meet them~
I raise a glass to all of you tonight! <3 <3
Happy Holidays!
Posted 9 years agoI celebrate both Christmas and Hannukah 'cause my family's a mixed pot so ---tell me friends, have you been naughty this year?
I'm set to have a string of great days during this holiday week and I wish you all lots of warmth and merriment and good food and cheer!
Feel free to leave in the comments any cool traditions you do for the holidays! I'm curious!
We have to read The Polar Express out loud by the fire, put oranges in our stockings, watch this crazy 90's Christmas movie called Mixed Nuts.
I'm set to have a string of great days during this holiday week and I wish you all lots of warmth and merriment and good food and cheer!
Feel free to leave in the comments any cool traditions you do for the holidays! I'm curious!
We have to read The Polar Express out loud by the fire, put oranges in our stockings, watch this crazy 90's Christmas movie called Mixed Nuts.
Holiday Commissions Open!
Posted 9 years agoMy vacation runs from now til Jan 15th, after that I'm going to be closed until May, most likely.
So I'm opening up a few slots, and I'll open more as I finish what I've got, but I'd like to get the ball rollin'!
No streams planned 'cause the internet here is...very slow, worse than over the summer.
Commission Prices - Commission Queue - Terms of Service
comment here and/or drop me a note!
stuff to be finished:
- Gore Challenge for
(lining)
1.
coffeestain TBD
2. nebay Flat Fullbody
3.
aliuscorsac 2 Character Coloured Sketch with BG
4.
matteh TBD
5. aj-anderson 2 Character Flat Fullbody
So I'm opening up a few slots, and I'll open more as I finish what I've got, but I'd like to get the ball rollin'!
No streams planned 'cause the internet here is...very slow, worse than over the summer.
Commission Prices - Commission Queue - Terms of Service
comment here and/or drop me a note!
stuff to be finished:
- Gore Challenge for
(lining)1.
coffeestain TBD2.
nebay Flat Fullbody3.
aliuscorsac 2 Character Coloured Sketch with BG4.
matteh TBD5.
aj-anderson 2 Character Flat FullbodyHome for the Holidays!
Posted 9 years agofinals week was stressful as hell but i got through it, and i have a good feeling about my grades!
now i'm back in Maine, and while the internet is kinda shitty, i'm around my family and that's nice, and I plan on getting a ton of work done!
Some bumps in the road: my laptop died. which is okay because it's 5 years old and I've worked it to absolute death. i'm in the market for a new one. i'm going to see if i can get a replacement power supply so i can get some files off my old beast.
in the meantime, i'm going to install SAI on my gf's computer and use that to work, with priority to the work i owe before posting any of the new YCH's I've been working on! Trying to have my tech mishaps affect y'all as little as possible.
I promise some breathless fun in time for the holidays!
now i'm back in Maine, and while the internet is kinda shitty, i'm around my family and that's nice, and I plan on getting a ton of work done!
Some bumps in the road: my laptop died. which is okay because it's 5 years old and I've worked it to absolute death. i'm in the market for a new one. i'm going to see if i can get a replacement power supply so i can get some files off my old beast.
in the meantime, i'm going to install SAI on my gf's computer and use that to work, with priority to the work i owe before posting any of the new YCH's I've been working on! Trying to have my tech mishaps affect y'all as little as possible.
I promise some breathless fun in time for the holidays!
Rhetorical Devices Meme
Posted 9 years agothe deadlines are converging, this is the last week of classes. still plugging away at queue stuff, thank you for your continued patience!! while i'd like to take on more work, i know i can't yet. soon!
reminder that
amidae is very open for commissions!
in the memetime--
Alliteration: Name a song you like that starts with the same letter as your first name.
Konga Conga Kappa by Danny Barownowsky
Allusion: What is your favorite myth?
First Nations of the Great Plains - The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses
Aphorism: What is your favorite quote/saying?
"I think, therefore I am."
Appositive: What do you think is your most defining quality?
humour, probably.
Anecdote: What is your favorite childhood memory?
i was 12 maybe. relatives visiting ME from TX. the adults are all drinking in the backyard on a summer evening. they're all buzzed, i come over to like say hey and they're like, "do you wanna learn how to take a shot of tequila?" and i'm like lol k. they expect me to gag, but i take it like a sailor and the collective looks of "oh fuck what have we done" was priceless.
Concession: What is something common that you don't agree with or don't like?
i don't like Rocky Horror Picture Show, so i guess that makes me not a real gay.
Contradiction: Does your blog reflect your real life, or are you totally different?
first of all, HERE is my main blog. it's very nsfw and i don't tag fucking anything except aesthetic stuff for myself. it reflects my personality pretty well, i think. going to the archive is nice, you can see the colours and moods i'm in pretty clearly. mostly muted colours, fluctuating between bright reds and blues depending on how depressed i am.
Diction: What is your favorite word?
i have many favorite words! english has a lot of words that don't see a lot of use because of how specific they are. rantiple, supplanter, hamartia
Ethos: What is something you consider yourself an expert on?
much of the support roles in video games: TF2, League of Legends, Overwatch, Battlefield 1, Paragon.
i'm very good at making themed playlists for characters and stories.
Hyperbole: What is something that you say too often?
"fuck" and "sorry" and "i suck."
Synesthesia: List three of your favorite smells.
sandalwood, patchouli, lavender
Genre: What is your favorite type of literature?
sci fi/horror/fantasy in that order.
i love dystopian stuff and urban fantasy a lot. horror i tend to not do slasher/murder mystery shit cause i don't like detective novels much. i enjoy a lot of historical fiction! and i also read a lot of nonfiction, but that has to be specific to my interests of course.
Imagery: List three of your favorite sensations.
i have ASMR so i actually have a lot of stims i enjoy!
mostly music and media-based. full-body waves of euphoria, like i'm passing through a stream of fairie dust. it's hard to describe. a couple movie scenes that do it for me: Fellowship of the Ring: the dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf; Gipsy Danger Deployment - Where is the Horse and the Rider (there's a lot of moments in LotR)
eating ice cream over some kind of still-warm baked good. the contrast of temperatures and flavours is A+
someone petting my hair.
Invective: Have you ever had a fight with a close friend?
oh yes. and the friendships have been stronger for it.
Juxtaposition: What is something you like that most other people would find strange?
i like banana peppers on pretty much anything. sandwiches, pizza, calzones, salads. idk if that's strange.
i like mixing vodka, orange juice, and sunkist for a fizzy screwdriver.
i also sweeten my coffee with chocolate syrup because like, i'm gonna get diabetes anyway i might as well enjoy myself.
Logos: Do you like to watch documentaries?
Very much!! fits into the love of history. i watch a LOT of WWI and WWII docs, and then nature docs. my favorite ones are about the oceans.
Pacing: Are you laid back or excitable?
i'm so type B it's painful, but when i have the energy to do so, i like to be excitable. i get excited about video games, movies, and cute robots. i like to try and emit an aura of hype around my friends when i can afford to, so i can help them feel better when they're down.
Pathos: When was the last time you cried?
honestly it's been months. july, i think. i was having a really bad time and i was watching Song of the Sea, which reminded me a lot of my dad for some reason. it was also early morning and i didn't get much sleep. i slept great afterwards tho.
i honestly feel like i'm broken at this point. i've been so sad and upset and hopeless lately i've felt like crying but can't get it out even with like, Toy Story 3 on in the bg. i'm pretty sure i'm just broke.
Rhetorical Question: What is a question you love to answer?
i could answer this sarcastically or seriously.
sarcastically: "when are you going to get your driver's license?" how about when im dead and i don't have to disappoint or inconvenience anyone anymore.
seriously: "tell me X about your OC's?" hello friend i'm here.
Style: If you were the main character of a novel, what era do you think it would be from?
high fantasy/arthurian? i'd want to be a badass lady knight with huge armour and a shield, it would fit my self-sacrificing tendencies and maybe it would make everything hurt less.
Syntax: Do you use good grammar in your texts?
sometimes? i try to at least. i fuck up contractions and i tend to not capitalize shit except for when autocorrect does it for me.
Understatement: Are you easily stressed?
yes? i have anxiety so it's unavoidable. but i handle stress fairly well. it kind of helps me focus as long as i prioritize what i need to get done in small chunks.
reminder that
amidae is very open for commissions!in the memetime--
Alliteration: Name a song you like that starts with the same letter as your first name.
Konga Conga Kappa by Danny Barownowsky
Allusion: What is your favorite myth?
First Nations of the Great Plains - The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses
Aphorism: What is your favorite quote/saying?
"I think, therefore I am."
Appositive: What do you think is your most defining quality?
humour, probably.
Anecdote: What is your favorite childhood memory?
i was 12 maybe. relatives visiting ME from TX. the adults are all drinking in the backyard on a summer evening. they're all buzzed, i come over to like say hey and they're like, "do you wanna learn how to take a shot of tequila?" and i'm like lol k. they expect me to gag, but i take it like a sailor and the collective looks of "oh fuck what have we done" was priceless.
Concession: What is something common that you don't agree with or don't like?
i don't like Rocky Horror Picture Show, so i guess that makes me not a real gay.
Contradiction: Does your blog reflect your real life, or are you totally different?
first of all, HERE is my main blog. it's very nsfw and i don't tag fucking anything except aesthetic stuff for myself. it reflects my personality pretty well, i think. going to the archive is nice, you can see the colours and moods i'm in pretty clearly. mostly muted colours, fluctuating between bright reds and blues depending on how depressed i am.
Diction: What is your favorite word?
i have many favorite words! english has a lot of words that don't see a lot of use because of how specific they are. rantiple, supplanter, hamartia
Ethos: What is something you consider yourself an expert on?
much of the support roles in video games: TF2, League of Legends, Overwatch, Battlefield 1, Paragon.
i'm very good at making themed playlists for characters and stories.
Hyperbole: What is something that you say too often?
"fuck" and "sorry" and "i suck."
Synesthesia: List three of your favorite smells.
sandalwood, patchouli, lavender
Genre: What is your favorite type of literature?
sci fi/horror/fantasy in that order.
i love dystopian stuff and urban fantasy a lot. horror i tend to not do slasher/murder mystery shit cause i don't like detective novels much. i enjoy a lot of historical fiction! and i also read a lot of nonfiction, but that has to be specific to my interests of course.
Imagery: List three of your favorite sensations.
i have ASMR so i actually have a lot of stims i enjoy!
mostly music and media-based. full-body waves of euphoria, like i'm passing through a stream of fairie dust. it's hard to describe. a couple movie scenes that do it for me: Fellowship of the Ring: the dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf; Gipsy Danger Deployment - Where is the Horse and the Rider (there's a lot of moments in LotR)
eating ice cream over some kind of still-warm baked good. the contrast of temperatures and flavours is A+
someone petting my hair.
Invective: Have you ever had a fight with a close friend?
oh yes. and the friendships have been stronger for it.
Juxtaposition: What is something you like that most other people would find strange?
i like banana peppers on pretty much anything. sandwiches, pizza, calzones, salads. idk if that's strange.
i like mixing vodka, orange juice, and sunkist for a fizzy screwdriver.
i also sweeten my coffee with chocolate syrup because like, i'm gonna get diabetes anyway i might as well enjoy myself.
Logos: Do you like to watch documentaries?
Very much!! fits into the love of history. i watch a LOT of WWI and WWII docs, and then nature docs. my favorite ones are about the oceans.
Pacing: Are you laid back or excitable?
i'm so type B it's painful, but when i have the energy to do so, i like to be excitable. i get excited about video games, movies, and cute robots. i like to try and emit an aura of hype around my friends when i can afford to, so i can help them feel better when they're down.
Pathos: When was the last time you cried?
honestly it's been months. july, i think. i was having a really bad time and i was watching Song of the Sea, which reminded me a lot of my dad for some reason. it was also early morning and i didn't get much sleep. i slept great afterwards tho.
i honestly feel like i'm broken at this point. i've been so sad and upset and hopeless lately i've felt like crying but can't get it out even with like, Toy Story 3 on in the bg. i'm pretty sure i'm just broke.
Rhetorical Question: What is a question you love to answer?
i could answer this sarcastically or seriously.
sarcastically: "when are you going to get your driver's license?" how about when im dead and i don't have to disappoint or inconvenience anyone anymore.
seriously: "tell me X about your OC's?" hello friend i'm here.
Style: If you were the main character of a novel, what era do you think it would be from?
high fantasy/arthurian? i'd want to be a badass lady knight with huge armour and a shield, it would fit my self-sacrificing tendencies and maybe it would make everything hurt less.
Syntax: Do you use good grammar in your texts?
sometimes? i try to at least. i fuck up contractions and i tend to not capitalize shit except for when autocorrect does it for me.
Understatement: Are you easily stressed?
yes? i have anxiety so it's unavoidable. but i handle stress fairly well. it kind of helps me focus as long as i prioritize what i need to get done in small chunks.
Excellent Gore/Guro Artist Open for Commission!
Posted 9 years ago amidae has posted a price sheet -- now's the perfect time to treat yoself to a piece of art at his very reasonable prices!! he'll even wrap it up in a bow--made out of intestines? maybe we shouldn't trust a blind butcher bird to WRAP the gifts, per-se....
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21851379/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21851379/
regardless, don't miss out! go check him out~
Update, and a Promo!
Posted 9 years agostill not dead. nearly, but i haven't given up the ghost, despite almost 3 weeks of all nighters and deadlines.
thank you all for your continued patience and support! i'm slowly (very slowly) working through my queue, which you can still see HERE.
For obvious reasons, I'm not taking on any more work, but one of my buddies, who's new to FA is!
I'd like you all to meet amidae -- a Butcher Bird who specialized in gore/guro and bondage art! loves doing high fantasy characters and monsters, luscious and lustful ladies, and has an excellent dynamic style. He also does animations! And works swift as a coursing river. He recently did this piece for me, and omg i still can't get over it. SO GOOD. I 100% recommend him.
I hope that you all have a good start to the holiday season, enjoy time with your loved ones, and continue to be safe. <3 <3
thank you all for your continued patience and support! i'm slowly (very slowly) working through my queue, which you can still see HERE.
For obvious reasons, I'm not taking on any more work, but one of my buddies, who's new to FA is!
I'd like you all to meet
amidae -- a Butcher Bird who specialized in gore/guro and bondage art! loves doing high fantasy characters and monsters, luscious and lustful ladies, and has an excellent dynamic style. He also does animations! And works swift as a coursing river. He recently did this piece for me, and omg i still can't get over it. SO GOOD. I 100% recommend him. I hope that you all have a good start to the holiday season, enjoy time with your loved ones, and continue to be safe. <3 <3
In light of the election results
Posted 9 years agoi'm too exhausted now to articulate my emotions -- a complex and muddled mixture of pure rage, disappointment, disbelief and quaking fear.
hold tight together, to those you are close with -- offer support, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold -- and spread love.
hate and fear is what drove this campaign, we can't allow it to spread deeper and overtake those at most risk.
please, please be safe.
and know that this is a safe space for you. you can always message me by any means (email, FA notes/comments are most reliable) to talk, to vent. anything. i love you all.
"I wish it need not happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
—
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
hold tight together, to those you are close with -- offer support, a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold -- and spread love.
hate and fear is what drove this campaign, we can't allow it to spread deeper and overtake those at most risk.
please, please be safe.
and know that this is a safe space for you. you can always message me by any means (email, FA notes/comments are most reliable) to talk, to vent. anything. i love you all.
"I wish it need not happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
—
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Update, and some personal feelings.
Posted 9 years agoHappy Halloween to all those who celebrate it! Hope you got lots of candy, or you're waiting for the after-holiday SALES to STOCK UP YEAH BOI i know i am.
Thesis is going VERY well. Animatic will be picture locked by the end of the week, and I found a professional composer to score my film! He's in LA, so we've got a time difference to work around, but it's no big deal. I'm very glad that I was able to work so hard over the summer and save up some more money for my budget, so I can pay this guy well! We're even going to bring in live instruments for the recording!! Get hyped guys this is really happening!!
In other news, my Wacom tablet that I've had for 6 years and change finally died. Like REALLY died, surprised it didn't burst into flames. That happened Sunday, I've been going stir crazy in my house today due to lack of drawing or thesis work. I ordered a refurbished Wacom no prob, and it should arrive tomorrow (bless Amazon Prime Student). So that's one reason I didn't get the YCH done yet, my dude! Other is y'know. 10 page research midterm. Does it get annoying when artists thank people for their patience? cause i'm gonna keep doing it regardless.
And thirdly, on a very serious note. I wish to offer my deepest condolences to the mate, family, and friends of Felix. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7887089/
He was who got me into this community and this section of kink. He made me feel very welcome, always so nice in all our conversations. I definitely saw him as a friend, a comrade-in-arms at the very least. I've been in shock thinking about him for the past few days. I've meant to send out some messages, but I don't want to overstep my bounds.
I'm always on my email, offering support if anyone would like to talk. About anything.
I love you all, I feel the need to say that in the wake of this. Tell the people around you too. <3 <3
Thesis is going VERY well. Animatic will be picture locked by the end of the week, and I found a professional composer to score my film! He's in LA, so we've got a time difference to work around, but it's no big deal. I'm very glad that I was able to work so hard over the summer and save up some more money for my budget, so I can pay this guy well! We're even going to bring in live instruments for the recording!! Get hyped guys this is really happening!!
In other news, my Wacom tablet that I've had for 6 years and change finally died. Like REALLY died, surprised it didn't burst into flames. That happened Sunday, I've been going stir crazy in my house today due to lack of drawing or thesis work. I ordered a refurbished Wacom no prob, and it should arrive tomorrow (bless Amazon Prime Student). So that's one reason I didn't get the YCH done yet, my dude! Other is y'know. 10 page research midterm. Does it get annoying when artists thank people for their patience? cause i'm gonna keep doing it regardless.
And thirdly, on a very serious note. I wish to offer my deepest condolences to the mate, family, and friends of Felix. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7887089/
He was who got me into this community and this section of kink. He made me feel very welcome, always so nice in all our conversations. I definitely saw him as a friend, a comrade-in-arms at the very least. I've been in shock thinking about him for the past few days. I've meant to send out some messages, but I don't want to overstep my bounds.
I'm always on my email, offering support if anyone would like to talk. About anything.
I love you all, I feel the need to say that in the wake of this. Tell the people around you too. <3 <3
Behind the Name meme (tagged)
Posted 9 years agotagged by
Anapnea is an fairly-obscure medical term.
[anap′nē·ə]
Etymology: Gk, ana, pnoia, breath
restoration of breathing after a period of halted respiration.
i figured something related to breath would be appropriate for a breathplay artist gallery. why a word related to the restoration of breath tho? because while i love snuff as a fantasy, the goal when using breathplay in actual practice should be to keep yourself/your playmates breathing at the end. ;)
i'm very proud of my name choice! i think it promotes safe habits.
feel free to tell me about your name choices in the comments! or take this journal meme for your own~
Anapnea is an fairly-obscure medical term.
[anap′nē·ə]
Etymology: Gk, ana, pnoia, breath
restoration of breathing after a period of halted respiration.
i figured something related to breath would be appropriate for a breathplay artist gallery. why a word related to the restoration of breath tho? because while i love snuff as a fantasy, the goal when using breathplay in actual practice should be to keep yourself/your playmates breathing at the end. ;)
i'm very proud of my name choice! i think it promotes safe habits.
feel free to tell me about your name choices in the comments! or take this journal meme for your own~
update!
Posted 9 years agoschool deadlines have been INSANE this past week, but i've accomplished so much!
i have a step outline for a feature length movie script, i wrote a short story entirely in German, and put together the animatic for my thesis film.
i'm DEAD tired, but i'd like to let you know that i haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and i'm going to be jumping back into my queue soon.
thank you all so much for your patience--as always, i won't take any more work until i've finished what's on my plate!
i'm gonna try to maybe stream tomorrow, 10/1! i would have done so today, but i slept on and off through pretty much the whole day. i needed the rest!
i hope the past couple weeks have treated you all well~
i have a step outline for a feature length movie script, i wrote a short story entirely in German, and put together the animatic for my thesis film.
i'm DEAD tired, but i'd like to let you know that i haven't dropped off the face of the earth, and i'm going to be jumping back into my queue soon.
thank you all so much for your patience--as always, i won't take any more work until i've finished what's on my plate!
i'm gonna try to maybe stream tomorrow, 10/1! i would have done so today, but i slept on and off through pretty much the whole day. i needed the rest!
i hope the past couple weeks have treated you all well~
Meme Stolen from Bae
Posted 9 years agosleep: what is the most comforting thing at night time for you?
some kind of soft bg noise: a fan, air conditioner, rain. cool temperatures. bae cuddled up against my back, as much as i sometimes feel i "should" be the big spoon.
visitor: what creature visits your dreams most often?
deer, both stags and hinds. though i rarely dream
chimes: what sounds are your favorite?
just that, chimes! windchimes, deep bell tones that reverberate through your soul; music for everything. i have playlists for every mood and character.
times:when do you normally awaken?
a better question is when do i go to bed.
marking: describe your tattoos,or tattoos you would like in the future?
Jack's Bioshock chains on my wrists, two black ink sleeves with motifs of an iris, knives, bees, honeycomb, antlers, braids an owl, a raven, a Freljoridan Ram's skull; an elite knight helm with a ribbon caption "to be alive is to be vulnerable"; a full colour back tattoo of a snarling wolf's head, tentacles emerging from the mouth in a border with a Saint's Halo, captioned "Full of Grace"; a watercolour poppy on my thigh; a Steampunk octopus dragging a 1950's astronaut and Bell diver to the depths
reverie:think of somewhere otherworldly u wish to be within, what is it like there?
old-growth forests, streaming light, ethereal song, soft moss and friendly deer
warmth: what do you find most charming in others?
humour that matches mine, smile that lights up the eyes, an aura of ease and welcome affection
treat: your favorite sweets ?
cheesecake, anything pumpkin spice, raisinettes, sour skittles
nestle: your most precious plush toy?
a yellow stuffed dog with soft fur and floppy ears named Bargain
posy: your favorite herbs?
basil, cilantro, and rosemary
stories: books you remember from your childhood?
Harry Potter read aloud by my mother, a chapter every night, with character voices. Dr. Seuss galore, The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses.
folk: who is the most fantastical being u have known?
a man in Sweden who was a backpacking lumberjack on his way to a music festival
elder: what do u expect to be like in your elder years?
that snarky old man who always has a flask of vodka or rum and is constantly making comments that everyone else is thinking but is too polite to say.
home: in what type of environment do you feel most safe?
an accepting environment, doesn't have to be quiet. a place where i can play my music, work, play video games. Enjoy the company of others. But also have a place to decompress and meditate.
finds: what kind of item would you most likely buy from an antique store?
paintings, books, knives
offering: how do you show others you are fond of them?
by cooking/baking for them, by working hard to make them laugh especially when they need it most.
lore: if your life were a tale, how do u expect it would end?
probably in blood tbh, i have really bad luck and i'm accident prone. that or any one of five hereditary things looking to claim me over the next 25 years or so.
some kind of soft bg noise: a fan, air conditioner, rain. cool temperatures. bae cuddled up against my back, as much as i sometimes feel i "should" be the big spoon.
visitor: what creature visits your dreams most often?
deer, both stags and hinds. though i rarely dream
chimes: what sounds are your favorite?
just that, chimes! windchimes, deep bell tones that reverberate through your soul; music for everything. i have playlists for every mood and character.
times:when do you normally awaken?
a better question is when do i go to bed.
marking: describe your tattoos,or tattoos you would like in the future?
Jack's Bioshock chains on my wrists, two black ink sleeves with motifs of an iris, knives, bees, honeycomb, antlers, braids an owl, a raven, a Freljoridan Ram's skull; an elite knight helm with a ribbon caption "to be alive is to be vulnerable"; a full colour back tattoo of a snarling wolf's head, tentacles emerging from the mouth in a border with a Saint's Halo, captioned "Full of Grace"; a watercolour poppy on my thigh; a Steampunk octopus dragging a 1950's astronaut and Bell diver to the depths
reverie:think of somewhere otherworldly u wish to be within, what is it like there?
old-growth forests, streaming light, ethereal song, soft moss and friendly deer
warmth: what do you find most charming in others?
humour that matches mine, smile that lights up the eyes, an aura of ease and welcome affection
treat: your favorite sweets ?
cheesecake, anything pumpkin spice, raisinettes, sour skittles
nestle: your most precious plush toy?
a yellow stuffed dog with soft fur and floppy ears named Bargain
posy: your favorite herbs?
basil, cilantro, and rosemary
stories: books you remember from your childhood?
Harry Potter read aloud by my mother, a chapter every night, with character voices. Dr. Seuss galore, The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses.
folk: who is the most fantastical being u have known?
a man in Sweden who was a backpacking lumberjack on his way to a music festival
elder: what do u expect to be like in your elder years?
that snarky old man who always has a flask of vodka or rum and is constantly making comments that everyone else is thinking but is too polite to say.
home: in what type of environment do you feel most safe?
an accepting environment, doesn't have to be quiet. a place where i can play my music, work, play video games. Enjoy the company of others. But also have a place to decompress and meditate.
finds: what kind of item would you most likely buy from an antique store?
paintings, books, knives
offering: how do you show others you are fond of them?
by cooking/baking for them, by working hard to make them laugh especially when they need it most.
lore: if your life were a tale, how do u expect it would end?
probably in blood tbh, i have really bad luck and i'm accident prone. that or any one of five hereditary things looking to claim me over the next 25 years or so.
Stream today!
Posted 9 years agoHey all! It's been a while!
I don't have anything to do in classes today, so I'm skipping out to take a mental day, do some art.
I plan to put a major dent in my queue.
I'm going to be working on all four pieces for, HB, 
and 
We'll see how far we get! Feel free to tune in to my Picarto, I'm just finishing breakfast now.
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
There'll be tunes and good company~
I don't have anything to do in classes today, so I'm skipping out to take a mental day, do some art.
I plan to put a major dent in my queue.
I'm going to be working on all four pieces for
, HB, 
and 
We'll see how far we get! Feel free to tune in to my Picarto, I'm just finishing breakfast now.
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
https://picarto.tv/AnapneaLtd
There'll be tunes and good company~
IRON ARTIST OPEN! [and general changes pls read]
Posted 9 years agoBusiness first, then fun! I've updated my ToS (READ HERE)
Tldr version of my ToS update: payment now required up front for everything under $120; I'll work off character description if you don't have a ref but there will be a charge; clarified some stuff about drafts which i WILL BE VERY ON POINT ABOUT NOW i'm sorry in advance but i gotta be stern. I recommend you read through it, i made the formatting better and more clear. I'm proud of it tbh.
Prices have moved up a little bit and I'll be editing my guide later today. I don't think they're unreasonable considering rent, food, and the less time I'm going to have between classes and thesis.
SD and HB, who are already in my queue, the pieces in my queue will be subject to the old prices, and I will send you a quote for those before I change my price guide.
Now to the fun!!
Big news: I'm taking the Iron Artist challenge!
These are going to be largely experimental and with a large degree of artistic freedom! A lot of these will be done on-stream, which I'm going to try to do every Friday, but possibly some weekday evenings too, as homework allows.
The only corrections I’ll do are if I make a large error reading the design of the character.
These pieces will be sketched with clean lines, coloured with some minimal shading, and with a colour square as a background.
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20535942/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19645020/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19453155/
Up to 2 characters: $50 base price, $30 per additional character.
Themes to choose from:
Breathplay: Hanging, Bagging, Choke Collar, or Manual Strangulation
Guro: blood and gore image with my choosing of injury--likely to have exposed innards and intestines.
Mafia: SFW image with your character in my choosing of 1920/40’s clothing. Please specify if you’d like a dress or a suit; crossdressing totally allowed!
Pinup: your character in lingerie, you are allowed to choose! Please provide a reference link
Flower Crown: your character in a flower crown of my choosing, artistic nude.
Please note or email me with this Form and I’ll send you an invoice:
Theme: (specify breathplay type, suit/dress if Mafia)
# of Characters:
Character ref(s): (flat coloured, please, i colourpick from ref sheets)
Any additional refs: (character personality info, lingerie reference link)
Paypal email:
With my new ToS (read here), payment will be required up front. Soon as I receive your paid invoice, I’ll do your piece!
I’ll be opening 5 slots at a time, which you can keep track of in my COMMISSION QUEUE and at the footer of my FA journals~
Thanks so much, guys!
Tldr version of my ToS update: payment now required up front for everything under $120; I'll work off character description if you don't have a ref but there will be a charge; clarified some stuff about drafts which i WILL BE VERY ON POINT ABOUT NOW i'm sorry in advance but i gotta be stern. I recommend you read through it, i made the formatting better and more clear. I'm proud of it tbh.
Prices have moved up a little bit and I'll be editing my guide later today. I don't think they're unreasonable considering rent, food, and the less time I'm going to have between classes and thesis.
SD and HB, who are already in my queue, the pieces in my queue will be subject to the old prices, and I will send you a quote for those before I change my price guide.
Now to the fun!!
Big news: I'm taking the Iron Artist challenge!
These are going to be largely experimental and with a large degree of artistic freedom! A lot of these will be done on-stream, which I'm going to try to do every Friday, but possibly some weekday evenings too, as homework allows.
The only corrections I’ll do are if I make a large error reading the design of the character.
These pieces will be sketched with clean lines, coloured with some minimal shading, and with a colour square as a background.
Examples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20535942/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19645020/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19453155/
Up to 2 characters: $50 base price, $30 per additional character.
Themes to choose from:
Breathplay: Hanging, Bagging, Choke Collar, or Manual Strangulation
Guro: blood and gore image with my choosing of injury--likely to have exposed innards and intestines.
Mafia: SFW image with your character in my choosing of 1920/40’s clothing. Please specify if you’d like a dress or a suit; crossdressing totally allowed!
Pinup: your character in lingerie, you are allowed to choose! Please provide a reference link
Flower Crown: your character in a flower crown of my choosing, artistic nude.
Please note or email me with this Form and I’ll send you an invoice:
Theme: (specify breathplay type, suit/dress if Mafia)
# of Characters:
Character ref(s): (flat coloured, please, i colourpick from ref sheets)
Any additional refs: (character personality info, lingerie reference link)
Paypal email:
With my new ToS (read here), payment will be required up front. Soon as I receive your paid invoice, I’ll do your piece!
I’ll be opening 5 slots at a time, which you can keep track of in my COMMISSION QUEUE and at the footer of my FA journals~
Thanks so much, guys!
Help a Fur in Need! [give a read and share pls!]
Posted 9 years agoHey all --
I recently found out that
has fallen on a string of incredibly hard times, right when he finally got things lined up for further education, pursuing a career in teaching. He's having to juggle the cost of university textbooks and car maintenance--you can read more details on his situation HERE.
He's set up a GoFundMe in the hopes of raising money for his textbooks and keeping him and his roommates from being evicted.
The page with all its further info is HERE.
I humbly ask that even if you consider adding even a dollar to his campaign, every bit helps. And if you can't, no guilt, no pressure, just signal boost it along so it reaches as many people as possible!
Roger definitely has a bright future ahead of him and I'd like to help him reach it~
Thank you all so much, and have a great day!!
I recently found out that
has fallen on a string of incredibly hard times, right when he finally got things lined up for further education, pursuing a career in teaching. He's having to juggle the cost of university textbooks and car maintenance--you can read more details on his situation HERE.He's set up a GoFundMe in the hopes of raising money for his textbooks and keeping him and his roommates from being evicted.
The page with all its further info is HERE.
I humbly ask that even if you consider adding even a dollar to his campaign, every bit helps. And if you can't, no guilt, no pressure, just signal boost it along so it reaches as many people as possible!
Roger definitely has a bright future ahead of him and I'd like to help him reach it~
Thank you all so much, and have a great day!!
New Place New Me!
Posted 9 years agoHello from (not) Sunny Rochester!!
I was able to fix my laptop!! I'm so fucking happy, I really really didn't want to have to budget for a new one. Now I can focus on getting a backup tablet (mine is very old and I worry it might break in the middle of my thesis film, that would SUCK) with no worries.
MMmmm!! Lookit this internet speed!! http://beta.speedtest.net/result/5554613405
Now THAT is what i'm talkin about!!!
I haven't set up my desktop yet, I'm gonna do that tonight, and I'm not unpacked yet because I have to wait for my one friend to move out of the room that's gonna be mine BUT---but i'm here. TT u TT
and I'm so happy. It feels like home, it really does.
AND THERE'S TWO CATS, we're getting a third in a few weeks. The two we have are a little girl kitten named Geeta and an adult tom named Bjorn. They look exactly the same except Bjorn's bigger, it's really funny. They're not related at all. I'll have to take pictures for you guys!!
SO. My queue is full, I'm gonna work on clearing it obviously. I have good stuff planned for you guys, including the decision to do Iron Artist! More on that later~! Gotta unpack!
I was able to fix my laptop!! I'm so fucking happy, I really really didn't want to have to budget for a new one. Now I can focus on getting a backup tablet (mine is very old and I worry it might break in the middle of my thesis film, that would SUCK) with no worries.
MMmmm!! Lookit this internet speed!! http://beta.speedtest.net/result/5554613405
Now THAT is what i'm talkin about!!!
I haven't set up my desktop yet, I'm gonna do that tonight, and I'm not unpacked yet because I have to wait for my one friend to move out of the room that's gonna be mine BUT---but i'm here. TT u TT
and I'm so happy. It feels like home, it really does.
AND THERE'S TWO CATS, we're getting a third in a few weeks. The two we have are a little girl kitten named Geeta and an adult tom named Bjorn. They look exactly the same except Bjorn's bigger, it's really funny. They're not related at all. I'll have to take pictures for you guys!!
SO. My queue is full, I'm gonna work on clearing it obviously. I have good stuff planned for you guys, including the decision to do Iron Artist! More on that later~! Gotta unpack!
