I kiss too much

I bite/nibble too much

I get a little too friendly too much

....

all of this translates to...
"You don't physically attract me, You're a nice guy, but something about you just turns me off. I think I'll go find someone else, but i'll still be nice to you, y'know just in case I can't find someone better. BYE"

...Not there for emotional support : Reason 1
...I was the "Other Guy" : Reason 2
...I was not physically attractive (fat) : Reason 3
--I'm too frisky? : Reason 4

I'm so confused.

this thanksgvng weekends has been one of the best I've had in a while, pictionary friends and family. The best thing about all of this week tho... I got to spend quality time with Tristan, with every part of me I want to know him more and more. What I d find out tho usually involves his exes which leads me to believe he's concerned with relationship problems. I would really like to be the guy for him, but I can't be until he wants me to be.

Men who am I kidding someone so much as gives me a hug more than once I turn into a whipped coon for. I could go off and list all of my past relational problems but the more I think of them the more likely I am to to either repaeat them or just worry myself and ruin a good thing.

All in all I don't know whether what I'm doing g is right, but for right now it's making me happy and I think I'm making someone else happy too ;3

the coon is back... and sezzier than EVAR..

No i don't have any new artworks.. but i now hold many inspirations... soon new art will come.. but... i need people to inspire me to dish out art....

Marine Corps Life is Boring...Send me luv

AIM AnarchyJ0127
MSN Anarchy_J[at]hotmail.com (also e-mail)

yeah... i'm back *proud face*

i'm going away to paris island for a few months and then when i come back i'll only have a bit before i got to AIT for training in my new job.

sorry guys... i apologize to anyone and everyone whom i've neglected for the past year or so ... i pray you all do well in all your endevors.

Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor Procyon lotor

it's fun to say..

anywho i need to get back into the funk of arts i've been too busy with work and junk that i forgot i was a normal human being... the only thing i do nowadays is think up DnD stuff and try and watch movies before i work and worry about bills..

i'm also very bored and lonely... please IM me... *puppy eyes*

AIM: AnarchyJ0127
MSN: Anarchy_J[at]hotmail.com

i'm such a slut >.>

it's fine tho... i'll just occupy my time with work and self misery.

Welp, Kyle asked me to take down my journal because he likes me or some shit :P... it's ok, i like him too :P

I found a place to stay, a 2/1 apartment here in B'town, Close to the community college i'm enrolling into farther from work but i can walk right >.>

i've lost a good 25lbs in two months so i feel really good about myself right now...

I won't have net for a while, not right off anyway, but i should get it sometime with in the month following our move in.

here's hoping i don't get shafted like last time..

I said the wrong thing out of fear...

why did i say that... that's not what I wanted

it was him... that i wanted...

damn i'm an idiot... all i wanted to say was "I want to be with you" instead i puss out and say something childish.. "i want sex" ... he probably thinks i'm a perverted child now...

Fucking looser am I.

FUCK YOU FA.... and your pictures of relationships


WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO HAVE A BF... am I that week a person that I need to have a significant other...

or a GF... either one... just someone who is a dom... >.>

Welp.... my computer died.... and right at the time i was about to hook up my scanner and throw me on some arts..... sucks i know.... my laptop refuses to recognize my power chord and the battery died...

I'm on me mum's computer right now so I can update the small mass that even bothers looking at my journal....

LitbladeV: Bitches love me cause they know that I can rock!
AnarchyJ0127: if that's the lie,among many others, that helps you sleep at night, then you go right on believin' that
LitbladeV: Mindless self indulgence quote man...
AnarchyJ0127: i know
LitbladeV: Sup dude?
AnarchyJ0127: nuthin'
LitbladeV: Still living with your mom?
AnarchyJ0127: i had to move back in with her
AnarchyJ0127: i moved out a while ago
LitbladeV: Ah
LitbladeV: Still thinking about joining or are you going to stay a nasty civilian?
AnarchyJ0127: nasty civilian?
LitbladeV: Yeah. Lazy, Unorganized, Undisciplined.... Nasty Civilian.
AnarchyJ0127: i'm gonna stop talking to you now
LitbladeV: Oh come on
LitbladeV: You know I'm just messing with you.
LitbladeV: Don't go emo on me.
AnarchyJ0127: it's not a matter of emo sam
AnarchyJ0127: it's a matter of principle
LitbladeV: Such as?
AnarchyJ0127: it's nice to know that the people you are trained to protect are meaningless and nothing in your oh so mighty eyes
AnarchyJ0127: all hail the omnipotent
LitbladeV: Dude, I was just messing with you.
AnarchyJ0127: learn humility and you might get along better in life with less wrinkles..
LitbladeV: Callm down...
LitbladeV: Listen.
LitbladeV: It's a joke that starts from Boot Camp.
LitbladeV: To be a Marine you need to be physically fit, mentally disicplined, and squared away.
LitbladeV: People who haven't gone through our kind of training are joked as "nasty" civilians because they aren't doing the same stuff we are.
AnarchyJ0127: oh i'm sorry that i've chosen a life that doesn't give me such harsh training for me to be a civil person worthy of time and attention... my bad
LitbladeV: Dude.
LitbladeV: I wouldn't be trying to keep your attention if I didn't care now would I?
AnarchyJ0127: no no.. i get it..... i'm low and unwashed... bathe me in your righteouness and honor
LitbladeV: I was merely asking a question if you still thinking of joining or not, I just added the nasty civilian crack because that's just jargon here!
LitbladeV: Stop over reacting...
AnarchyJ0127: then stop under appreciating
LitbladeV: Okay then.

a conversation between sam and myself... and this is why you don't randomly IM me when i'm pissy and aggitated....


Date: Jan 21, 2007
Time: 02:15
Mood: Aggitated
Listening To: Respectedness - Seeed

why do they call it truth or dare.. it's on the fecking internetz... you can't dare me to do shit.... however i will answer any three questions that you may deem it upon yourself to ask me...

Ask Away Whores ^_^!!1!

I got a job working at a little pizzaria in the mall.. not the best job in the world but for 6.75 i'll hold my tongue.. tho i've got to get more than 20 hours a week or else i'm bum fucked and not in the way i wanna be.

I'm working on an idea for an MMORPG that will hopefully appeal to everyone... so if you like games where you can make w/e the fuck you want w/o it being like Second Life... then this should do... if you've an idea that you would like to contribute then by all means contribute. COMMENTS ARE NOT ONLY WELCOMED BUT BEGGED FOR.

My commissions are still open.. and like I said 6.50 for one sketch.

Commision List Thus Far:
Wilson- Kyubii Naruto (naruto is fecking hard to draw >.<)

So it turns out i'm in serious need of a job... but for some reason no one will fecking hire me.... do you know how many applications that are out there with my vital information, within a five mile radius of my house. Cuz I don't.. I lost count after a good 20 or so... HELL DENNY"S even has my application... am I such a horrible person to have as an employer that people forsee it before i'm even hired....

Internet applications don't help all that much either... what with my lack of it... I have to come over to my mum's and put them in on her computer... which I think can be pretty evasive.... since I no longer live with her.

I'm doing commissions.... for obvious reasons... PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE commission me. I'll draw your picture with love and tuna or whatever you like if you don't like tuna... and like the title says... 6.50 for one line art picture plus what ever paypal makes ya pay >.>

Anywho... Laterz and wish me luck on the whole job findey thing...

In the words of Krash " You need a Yob"

not really but kinda sorta...


BEING LONELY SUCKS....

ok other than that... everything is going ok. Still lacking in job and still living in my apartment... YAY for saved up money....is it because i'm fat... cuz i'm not... just a lil' fluffy... c'mon >.> o right sorry... got side tracked..

I'll be making a website here shortly... I've brushed up on my html and i've got some ideas stewing in me brain.

Anywho... other than that nothing else is going on.... just the basic lonliness artist block and what not...

Laterz.

Welp I'm finally alive and what not.

I've moved into an apartment and then lost my job the same day ^_^ yay is me.

I've got a new sketchbook, I've got my laptop which refuses to connect to any internet access that i do not have anyway, but i've gotta scanner again ^_^.

My boyfriend isn't talking to me because he stood me up, but i guess that's what i get for allowing myself to date people that live an hour away from me.

Bored... boredy bored bored.

I got a new job, an MP3 player that kim found and gave to me, a chance to meet up with some net friends... I missed a FL Furry Meet... I'm lonely single and practically gay and closeted at that... my life is boring dull and lonely... but i've been able to walk everywhere so i'm loosing weight which is a good thing cuz no one likes a fatty.

FAAAT <the producers>

Recently I've been bashed for being a, 'quote' FAG 'unquote'... when i'm not gay at all.. meerly bi...

So of course when someone tries to hastle me, I retaliate post haste with some serious gusto and Vigor..

Also... i'm a strong believer in christianity... sure i'm a studier of the non normal christian ways... people get confused and call me a witch all the time because of what i believe...

Here are some links about Homosexuality in the Bible... yes folks.. the bible.. let's see how this turns out... please read and enjoy

http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibl.htm <Gives the different types of meanings of the scriptures thru conservative and liberal, also tells the story of 3 "so called" relationships in the good book>

http://www.bridges-across.org/ba/wink.htm < I like this one because it not only rails on the issue of homosexuality but also on the close minded ness of people and the other hypocrysies of the modern world.. according the scriptures in the Bible... makes even a pastor stop and think>

http://www.bridges-across.org/ba/campolo.htm <This link is to a report given by two evangelics... they are a couple and straight... they both have differing issues on the gay thing and are open about it with the world and others...The point of this one is to show that even if people have differeing issues about something .. be it homosexuality or abortion or simple little things in life... doesn't mean you can't live with them and love them. I guess it proves to show that opposites attract.. >

For future reference i'm all for homosexuality as a relationship not as random smut or prostitution or what not..

However the art on here is just simply that, art... i'm not bashing the gay or lesbian art out there... i'm focusing more on the bashing of homo's by people who are doing "God's Will" when surely it's even said in these essays and my personal studies.. God never says you can't fall in love with a man... just says don't rape or buy or use one...

The conclusion of all these essays... are "True Love is All that really matters... whom you love is up to the person to decide"

That is all
God Bless and Blessed Be.

Why the hell do I get shit for comments... seriously... for those of you who do comment on my pics.. thanks...

I just went thru my whole gallery and i'll say this un boastfully.. i'm a damn good artist... i mean sure i'm not extravagent like Daigo Ayato Pave Straydog or ArtDecade.. but i'm at least somewhat decent...

maybe i should learn to color.. or find a consistent style?... iunno

LL i've even really wanted is to have someone have me in their arms and listen to me... to talk back and let me listen... i closed myself for 3 years after my last relationship so i didn't get hurt again like i did... i ended up just clinging to frivoulous vices... nothing was satysfing and nothing helped me.. I open myself up again to someone... hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe i'd be able to have someone again.. to listen and to be there, sadly i was mistaken... i'm not sure if i should be greatful that i've been given the oppotunity to open up... or be mad at myself for putting me in that situation...

I realized now why I turn to religion... all i want is blind faith in something that i know will be there for me.... and it turns out.. you can't put it in people... everyone in the end with just dissappoint you ... that's why it's easier to believe and defend in a book and a God no one can see... because even if it's real or not.. you can't prove or deny it... and there is my blind faith...

I'm not gonna say i'll never have someone to hold me or love me or just be there when i need them or they need me... but i will say that if I am supposed to have someone.. why can't i just be with that person now and not have to go thru all of this...is this my karmic slap in the face for trying to find love in other things .... why do i always end up with the stray bullet... in the end the voices win tho.. and i end up hurting myself anyway.

my candle....

maybe i'm just reaching for something to hold onto...well at least he doesn't mind... maybe he does...

anywho...I'm working on some pictures, most aren't original, just some random sketches of poses i find, i'm just trying to practice alot more, so I can build up a decent portofolio at some point in time.

Laterz.

A hotter touch A better fuck....

i'm in a very good mood. I AM PWNT... it's sad but true >.> anywho

I'm thinking of getting a new job, pizza hut isn't paying well.. i need more buck for my bang >.<

anywho i've got one more pic but i have to censor it because you all are perverts.

*sings*...Than any boy you'll ever meet sweety you had me, a better love deserving of, exchanging body heat in the passenger seat...*sings*

to be forgetting you in a cabaret....

Ok so i've been hard that the job, dealing with idjits at different locations and having a blast at my main store... Pizza Hut is teh roxxorz.... I'm so white and leet no one at work get's me T-T....

I'm taking some GED courses... so hopefully i'll get my GED by mid may at the latest... and then i can addemently start pushing towards a chance to get into the art institute of tampa.... i've wanted to go there for some time... and then it turns out a good friend of mine is going there ... YAY so i might have a room mate... if he doesn't mind, it might interfere with him trying to get a BF tho ... his current crush doesn't like me much.. i'm hoping to admend that... and push those two together... SO KYUTE....

anywho.. i've rambled enough...

*walks off with tail swaying and singin* just a wet dream for the web zine....

And paying in nievity.

Ok so FA is back up ... it has been for a while, but i'm slow >.>

Fun is having been had, I got a new job, so not alot of time for artz... i got today off tho so i might doodle a bit and puke up some sketches and then work on them on my next day.

Remember folks i'm still open for art trades. ^_^
I need to get better... help me out will ya?

Laterz.

not enough that's for damn sure....

I'm getting a job and i'm doing art trades, so if you'd like to do some trading with me..just lemme know. I need the practice and I'd love to meet new people to chat with and what not.

ZOMG Don't touch that THINGER.... dammit well that's never gonna go away now <.< .....i'm crazy