If you want to see what terrible things have happened in the architecture and design world, here's a few sad, sad pictures. These absolutely repulse me..

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EQLzmOyWsAAW2LC?format=jpg&name=small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EV6lYPqXQAA3DRR?format=jpg&name=medium

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EOu7HNpWkAAOrLr?format=jpg&name=large

https://schmidt-arch.com/wp-content.....e_Ivy-TEch.jpg

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EIFa-qvWoAA8s4m?format=jpg&name=large

https://www.nextstagedesign.com/wp-.....2-1024x513.png

https://www.crismatec.com/python/ho.....-and-style.jpg

that this
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EP-Mtw_W4AA0a2E?format=jpg&name=medium

was destroyed...to make way for this..
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EP-Mty-WAAExVPM?format=jpg&name=large

Hope everything's going well enough with all of you. 83

I hardly ever address you guys directly so I wanted to. I do appreciate you all. Recently skimmed through most of you guys' profiles and felt a bit blessed. <3

I saw a squirrel chase two girls, then a boy, then came to me. Instead of trying to flee, I stood still and let him stand up, fluff up, sniff my shoes and then I thought he was walking off but actually he jumped on a walk and was following me. Then he went down to a boy sitting on a bench and tried to get on his lap. I couldn’t quite tell if the squirrel was happy or angry but at least it was a nice experience for me, and amusing.

I think I’ve figured out why some subjects that “should” appeal to me are extraordinarily difficult. I can’t handle absolute/creative knowledge well, for some reason. I feel it’s probably related to overload and the fact that there are so many rules it feels like there are none. I use absolute/creative knowledge to refer to knowledge that is mathematical in nature, where there are definite forms and you must plug them in to equations.

This includes mathematics, physics, chemistry and language. I can be taught it over and over and still fail after trying 100 times. In algebra, I’d know what the formulas are, do it all correctly...and then fail, somehow. I’d be shown why I erred, I’ll do it again and then...failed again, somehow. I’d apparently err on something else. Latin and Spanish are the same; I’ll learn it all (and so much shit I can’t remember hardly any of it) and then, somehow, fail on everything except the most specific, simple phrases and words. I can copy, but not “understand” it coherently. I even feel with the English language all I’ve been doing is mimicking and not really understanding, but since I have conducted the vast majority of my lifetime to it, I can feasibly use it and play with it, even as an “outsider agent” in the real. Perhaps this is why my own personal language is both heavily erratic and even amuses me, (giggling a little at my own words) that I know it is not “real” English and neither has been nor can be?

My family tells me that what I say is “bullshit” and it’s just me being lazy or not liking the material, but there is a definite difference between absolute/creative knowledge and knowledge that is less creative and less concrete, with less rules and such (I had a name for it but I forgot...) such as history, philosophy and social sciences. One just comes easier for me than the other. (I have a skeleton of an essay written somewhere but I can’t reach it so I won’t try to elaborate.)

This year has been rocky to say the least, but it seems hopeful, at least now at the end. The first six to eight months were almost entirely dominated by a feeling of dread. It got kicked off late last year, just before Christmas, the 14th of December, when I was about to go to sleep and suddenly remembered a dead squirrel I had seen on the road during one of my walks weeks or maybe months ago. It spiraled within seconds into the dread and horror that would hold me down for so long, and still sometimes does on bad days. It was a fear of death and constant worry about everyone and everything, down to the smallest of bugs and the worst of people and especially me and those closest to me. I had never felt that kind of horror in my life, and it made me question my very identity and feel I should change everything about myself to be more presentable. My sexuality, my life's passions, everything. The feeling of dread kept telling me it was all evil and I should renounce it. I couldn't enjoy even a simple movie because of overactive empathy, I couldn't bring myself to draw things I wanted to because "I'm better than that". It was worse than my suicidal thoughts over three years ago. Much worse. I came to accept God and the concept of an afterlife after all my life of either telling myself I'll never know or outright trying to be a contrarian and call myself an atheist. Eventually though, the feeling has subsided. I can feel good about my life again and enjoy it. I don't know how but the tide turned. I hope it stays that way.

Last year was mostly good, but little happened. It was a calm before the storm. That's not to mean the storm of this year has been all bad. I moved to University. I made amazing grades in some classes. I finally picked up video games to some extent again. I got to watch so many great movies by the end. I got into whole new franchises for me. I had an amazing Christmas, as shoestring and rushed as it was. One of my cats, though now gone, is cured of his illness and we can remember him forever. An aunt also passed, but again, the death and the funeral did not hurt me so, and I feel glad that the pain is over. My grandmother went from falling face down and nearly dying in the garage and cracking teeth to finally seeming to get what was wrong for the last half a decade fixed, even if it's only a little bit.

My art performance has been sadly underwhelming but I feel I am getting better. Writing too. For now, I'll leave this song from one of my favorite albums of all time as we greet the new year, and a new decade.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzGJuV8fBzo

Or whatever you all celebrate. c<o.oc

I'm going to leave for now to do an end-of-the-year drawing. It won't be much but I do want it to be special. A few of you will get surprises after tomorrow 83

I also will do a year review, and a decade review, after New Years'. There's been a lot that's happened, some good and some bad, some a bit of both.

Yesterday, our sweet cat, Spanky, died in his sleep after about ten hours of resting under a chair in our dining room. I took care of him all day, from 6AM till my mom got home at 7PM. We will bury him today, and see about getting a plaque of him made to put on the ground of it.

We had him ever since he was born. He was the third in a litter of four boys to our lintball Bubbles. We kept him and the firstborn, Cricket, our big grey cuddlebug. Spanky was always a sweet boy, though he had some mean moments. He was always a kitten at heart, he never really changed until he got sick just over a year ago. Even then, he still was a sweet cat who loved everyone and, by the end of it, was never mean or bullying to any of the cats.

He loved my mom most of all, and was always a moma's boy to Bubbles. She would lead him everywhere, and bathe him (which he'd return with scary forcefulness, Spanky wanted to let other kitties know he was going to get them bathed no matter what) and all, he was her right hand baby. Spanky would always sleep on my mom, even when he was a bit too chubby. Spanky sometimes could get a bit scary with how close he wanted to be with my mom, digging his face in her face and his claws into her as she would try to sleep. He was beloved by my stepdad, who probably is caring for him for now until we come home again. Spanky would shy from me until he got sick, but I always loved on him. When he got sick, he would sleep with me too like my mom, and he even loved my grandma just as much. There would be several times I'd come in her room to see all four cats there, and Spanky would always be on her legs.

Spanky wanted to be a tiger, a ferocious jungle cat. He'd play at it at the house before, when my mom would let him outside. He wasn't a great hunter, but he tried. He also loved munching on grass when he wasn't pretending to be a badass. He was always a kitten at heart.

My memorial to Spanky.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme.....y_Memorial.png

I finally got my Halloween art done. I love it so much I took a piece for my icon.

It just really sucks that this time of year is so busy, and that always, Halloween is in the middle of the week, so everyone's at work. Also that most stations are playing Christmas music already and the stores mostly have Christmas stuff makes it worse I bet, along with....I think culture these days is very against holidays, especially Halloween. For the past few years I barely notice it. Even kids don't celebrate it anymore.

I at least watched a movie, and have a piece of artwork. I tried. Also our lecture today for the one class was kinda related to Halloween, heh.

Even if you aren't celebrating for whatever reason, I still think it being a holiday, I should wish a good day on all you all.

Let's hope this next year will be better. 83

20 was terrible after the first few months. My 20th birthday was great; a day at the arcade and such. I'm probably not doing anything today. No presents either, probably, since everyone forgot. Yesterday was mixed but the actual birthday stuff, going to the mall with my mom, was mostly good. I got three books and a shirt. <owo<

Just sucked getting home because my mom wanted to go to a friend's house for football stuff because she was mad I didn't like her screaming and shouting all day and my grandpa wanted to yell at me and make me work outside with him. Not a good birthday except the mall part (and today I don't really count because I'll be at uni all day and doing homework when I get back.) but my 20th year overall was terrible.

After the birthday and a few months it was great until that horrible time in mid December till just a month ago when I was always afraid and I couldn't get into anything I used to love. It's getting better now so I'll hope that trend continues. I apologize for my lack of arts and activity (other than pointless journals which I'm sure bother most people) and hope to make it up this next year.

Sorry I don't have much else to say.

No, no drinking. <-w->

Sorry for journal spam. I just don't know how else to give little updates because this isn't social media.

I seriously hate Youtubers who have to constantly show their face in high definition with lots of effects. Fucks up my computer and makes the video watch a slog through annoyance, both for how it makes my computer freeze a lot and also because they themselves are annoying and it's off-putting for serious topics. The only production value I care about is if words onscreen are legible and any pictures/videos used show clear enough, and having such reactive faces/sketches just looks disingenuous and childish, plus it annoys me by being distracting. Some lightheartedness and an aesthetic is fine, but it gets annoying after a certain point.

I have no earthly idea why people like podcasts. I don't believe in multitasking, I don't think you can get as much by doing other things. Problem is even when concentrating, podcasts are only audio, no words or pictures, etc. which I find can easily confuse and forces you to take notes that aren't anywhere near as complete as if there were words and pictures.

Then there's the idea of having videos be "bite-sized"; 2-10 minutes, with a few important facts and lots of visual stimulation, either by figures, related pictures/movies, or by the presenter's brushed up mug making silly faces in front of a map or some shit. I have nothing against short videos, but I feel it's only good if it's for a small topic that is basically a subtopic of a larger one, or if it's an intro video for a class. Say a man named A makes a 40 minute video on topic X, but there's also a few branches he could take to give a fuller scope, so he makes ~5 minute videos on Y, Z and B. That's fine.

As for video length, over an hour and a half and it should be split into parts. A good video on an informational topic should be 20-90 minutes, so you can still have time to do lots of other things but get a lot of info, and any notetaking you do is only going to make it an hour and a half-2 hour long experience; not too long to where it can easily affect your day and it becomes a slog. If something's going to be over an hour and a half in one go it ought to be some party shit/livestream etc. elsewise, break it up to give your subscribers some time to live their lives.

Also posting more than 2 or 3 videos a week is annoying. Don't do it unless something really big has happened or you're a news channel. This goes even for non-serious channels. I don't like having to scroll down past 12 loading phases before I reach a video I heard was good or even, perhaps, at all unless you're talking about a LOT of shit (in which case, use playlists to keep everything (and I mean everything; either put all videos into lists or none) neat and organized. Insane for channels that have hundreds of videos, I know).



Funny how I was inspired to write all of this after watching TWO new channels yesterday (by now I added one. I watched a stream dedicated to other Youtubers so that's why I bothered, since I almost never do. This past year and a half I've been more purge-y. than not). I was satisfied but these things I've thought for about 3 years now. Never particularly liked Top Ten X of All Time!1!!, Weird History/Stuff/Soopah Doopah Spoopy Daily XXY, 99% of mainstream political YT (both left and "right", and a good few extremists too are annoying), clickbait and clickbait-y type anything with goofy-faced tards and huge all caps fonts. I have grown ever more against all of these.

I do consider well put together videos with detailed imagery (whether it be stats, photographs, videos, etc., preferably all) to be the best available way to learn as far as I know. Class lectures, books, podcasts, outside work, all of those have their flaws. Videos, I don't see, have as many inherent flaws, just that the vast majority are handled very poorly (especially documentaries. I hate the vast majority of documentaries with a passion) and the medium as a whole, dismissed (outside of the fucking documentaries!) more often than not.

Remember, classes taught by bad professors, books written by ignorant authors, podcasts/talk radio shows by witty but dull talkheads can be just as bad as a Top Tenz History video that says knights were less mobile and had to be lifted by crane onto their horses because armor is SO debilitating because "medieval people were dumb" or a conservative who does nothing but whine about how divided we are after Antifa harasses some guy on the street instead of actually trying to dismantle their beliefs and offer real counterargument (except that "cOmMuNiSm KiLlEd 10.000.000,000x13 people gUizE!1!! Big meanies!").


To others I say, "If your soul-caste is one to think, you ought to think, so start! If not, then at least don't demean yourself."


(sorry for still being very inactive. Still in what I'd like to call my "summer depression", also some shit happening in the family and of course, classes. I am working on what I can though, and generally feeling better, if still rather empty, lazy and not wanting to do much. I feel I shouldn't ask my viewers because I assume most would know but, especially since I never get replies when I said in the past, I do want you to know that I'm always open to talk, or if you want to pitch an idea to me go ahead. Busy =/= nothing, it's just a break, even me not talking to someone for a month is just a break or I'm not feeling it, not because I feel like I don't like that person.)

So about those hiking pictures first, well, I can't show any because the camera doesn't have a cable anymore and we don't have an equivalent. I searched and found three cables in the box with the camera, and some other boxes and found only those three cables that didn't fit at all...

Secondly is how slow everything is going in my life, when I need those things done now, so it's stressing me. I don't want to go into detail tho tbh.

Most days I just feel nothing and don't want to do anything, because I'm waiting for others and they laze about so they make me laze about, though I have gotten better with what I can do myself.

Summer does tend to be a pretty shitty time though, unless you have summer school (like I did for a long time, for autism services, and college for kids too) or an addiction to video games (like I used to have, but nowadays video games, like most other things, just don't catch me, though really, nothing does anymore) to have some regimented thing to do most days. Tbh, nothing catches my attention. I just seem to drift.

Doesn't help how hot and sunny it is. The sun and heat not only are bad for me like I've previously explained, but they also just make me feel depressed, and want to go to sleep all day. I haven't even walked around the neighborhood much, just am turned off of it and bored. Worse that I need a schedule that makes me able to work for my family, so I go to sleep about 5-7 now, but I always wake up a few hours before daylight. It'd be better if I'd sleep from 2-5PM to 10-1AM but no...have to be up for everyone else because it takes 5 hours for my grandpa to do anything and he likes to leave at 4-7 and makes me stay up to look after grandma.

I know I've been making several of these types of journals and probably annoy people with my constant dislike of the sun, heat, and that I'm so bored and aimless but it's constant, with only a few days that don't feel like that.

Has anyone else ever desperately wanted to move far away solely because of the weather?

I seriously don't want to live in a place that is sunny. It's bad for me. My skin turns red at the slightest bit of it, and gets burnt after just a little while.

Also heat. Can't stand it, since there's nothing you can do. Last summer I had to strip almost naked and lay in front of a very powerful fan in order to feel a normal amount of relaxation because it was a normal summer day and the A/C went out.

Sun also hurts my eyes. Living in a suburb means lots of cars. Lots of cars means lots of glare. And it's not just the cars, but fucking everything glares, and it makes my eyes hurt and I need sunglasses, but the heat makes me sweat so the sunglasses get bad, it's a neverending cycle.

Oh, also the couple hundred dead animals every stretch of sidewalk. Not kidding, the average sidewalk plate has like 3 dead worms (I mean average, some have almost a dozen), and I sometimes see squirrels and toads and snakes that don't seem to have been run over, but are dead anyway.

I've been considering the Great Lakes, Maine, Southern Alaska, and most of all, the Seattle area. Seattle area fits basically everything I'd need and want. I also really liked going to Seattle itself (graffiti and dogs notwithstanding, but we have dogs too...)

When I can, as soon as I can, I need to leave. I love everything else about Texas. Not my favorite state sure, but I like it. I just can't stand the weather, and have resolved that I need to leave when I can, probably after college.

So on my walks have been some funny animals around. I sometimes see a cat, a calico, white, brown and black, who loves to meet people. I first saw her running across the street to greet an elderly couple who wanted nothing to do with her. She greeted me too, and I petted her but I noticed a bunch of men at a house close by so I thought she was theirs and walked on. I saw her again a few days later, and again too, always coming to greet me, and following me quite a while. I feel if I led her she probably would go all the way home with me, tbh. Last time I saw her I noticed her fur was coming off from petting so that led me to believe her owners aren't around. I will stay and pet her but it makes me uneasy since I don't know anything about her situation.

Today I saw some odd creatures. Firstly was a little opossum running about, then across the street almost to the door of the house across from where I was standing, watching it, then when an old man came out of the house to scare the little opossum and it ran back the other way, disappearing. On my way back and across the other street, I saw a Yellow Crowned Night Heron, about the same place I had seen one a good few months back. It flew into a tree, then down, then walked about and flew away as I kept walking.

I had never seen a heron like that before, so the first time I saw one was quite interesting to me. Opossums I have never seen running across a street. I have seen a few before, either living or dead, mostly living. The first time I can remember was when I went into a forest next to my house, and back then I never wore shoes or long pants, and so it really could've been bad, since it popped out of the dead leaves to hiss at me, and I left it alone. The second time was one on the fence, laying there in the night. My stepdad used the opportunity to test out his BB gun. The third was at this house, and it was a little baby one, standing outside the back of my house looking around. My mom says when she used to smoke and smoked outside, she was afraid of that and stopped smoking out back because there'd be a whole family of eyes in the trees. Cute animals but still, they are large, wild and can bite.

Now I just need to see a fox again. One ran past me, coming just a few inches from my leg, back a few years ago, and I kept seeing the little guy for the rest of the two hours I was out that day, running this way and that all along the streets.

Top 51 worst ways to die.

51: Country music

50: Ice cream

49: Godzilla

48: Ghostly photos

47: DINOCROC!

46: Showtunes.

45: Bunny rabbit.

44: Accidently being sent into Legend of Zelda.

43: Having to listen to Pants on the Ground.

42: Having Bigfoot attack you in your car and listen to everybody dance now.

41: Having a dragon drop you on purpose from 23,000 ft.

40: Having the mailman attack you with his mail.

39: Having wizards accidently send you back to the stone age and you die by a cute little wooly rabbit.

38: Having to fight the hydra.

37: Having to survie Mario.

36: Griffin babies.

35: Having a pirate stab you with pencils.

34: Being attacked by Cujo.

33: Being killed by a tribe of human-eating turkeys.

32: Having sour-patch kids kill you.

31: Being killed by zombie chocolate easter bunnies.

30: Watching a horror flick and zombies come out of the tv.

29: Having killer paper-air planes kill you.

28: Being killed by laughter.

27: Watching Disney channel.

26: Being slaughtered by zombie cows.

25: Alien ubduction!

24: Watching Dora the explorer.

23: Stabbing yourself with chicen legs.

22: Pulling out all your teeth and stabbing yourself with them.

21: Fall into a bottomless pit.

20: Drive into quicksand.

19: Setting your house on fire while in it.

18: Eating bombs while they are set to explode.

17: Falling out an air plane.

16: Being attacked by a giant mutan pitbull.

15: Being shot at by a tank.

14: Being killed by a vacumm cleaner.

13: Being moed to death.

12: Drinking too much Dr. pepper while sick.

11: Choking on chicken.

10: Drowning in poop.

9: Being eaten by a horse.

8: Eating yourself.

7: Being attacked by rabbid 4-year olds.

6: Dehydration.

5: Being chained to the bottom of the ocean.

4: Sabbing yourself in the head.

3: Being shot at by your friend.

2: Being killed by coke monsters.

1: Drinking acid while punching your throat.

0: Kicking your head off.

Worst way to die-Smiley faces.


(name and contents copied from a .txt file I wrote, dated to 4/18/2010)

I got credit for my online class, really need to work on not letting those be forgotten..., but the ones I had to go to the building, I actually did something I've never done before.

3 consecutive final exams, and all 3 I scored perfectly on.

Two of those classes, Historical Geology and Art History to the 14th Century, I scored a class grade of 97. The Western Civilization grade will be...tricky to say the least. For it, you can get up to 750 points. I made 846. I maybe studied a total of two hours for the whole few months of that fuckin class and got this.

I'm feeling quite proud with myself. I had sometimes got teachers back in High School or professors in college telling me or my aides in a meeting that "You're the only one who got a perfect score on this test" or "He's the only one that actually listens in class", but this is quite an achievement to me.

Now just one more class before I'll be off to University.

I've probably stated this before, but I absolutely love how green it is here for now. Idk, it's never been like this, having all kinds of trees of all kinds of greens, with green grass, clovers, vines, etc. Since it's been raining a ridiculous amount compared to usual (usually only maybe a dozen or two days in the year or so, now it's generally been about a fifth or so of the days this past year) that's why it's so green, but it's absolutely gorgeous being that way. It usually isn't. Most years, it's all yellow and brown and the trees are pretty dull. It's also not been fucking 90 degrees year round like normal, which is amazing to me. 80 still sucks rn but at least it isn't 114. That's all why I have been thinking about moving, as much as I like Texas, the weather is usually terrible. If it stays like this then maybe I might stay, but idk. I'd love to move to Washington, Alaska, or Minnesota or something like that.

Also while on hiatus, I found some good bands because I've been going through the videos of one channel. I didn't "find" these exactly because they've been recommended to me for years, but I checked them out and was damn impressed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTGF8h_blek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kNnoN6_shI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL_LLwS4Ml8

couch

https://youtu.be/O_Uqd_IMPrw

I have mixed feeling with regard to fanart and fanworks.

I've read some fanfiction (even almost wrote a fan novel) and saw a lot of fanart since I was little, but I can't bring myself to draw anything I don't own very often unless asked (which I am never really asked unless I bring it up lol). The exception in childhood was when I drew Chowder once. And then a couple things I've drawn since. I made a few Elder Scrolls comics, and a couple pieces of fanart that are still here I think, but not much more than that. It just feels wrong to me, and I become guilty about it oftentimes if I do want to, like I've never made Warrior Cats fanart for that reason, despite me (having consumed) quite a lot of fanart and fanworks since I was little.

I certainly copy aspects of things. I remember basically ripping off Jhonen Vasquez as a child for my own comics, and Andrew's design was partly inspired by Warriors fanart (along with my first cat, since Andrew's colors are hers'). But I never try and fully imitate another. I see nothing against this if others do it, but...I can't usually. I feel guilty.

When I see fanart or fanworks by others, there's two things I will do, favorite or not. Thing is, is I will usually favorite only if I actually have prior experience with the said thing. I won't favorite something WoW or Sonic or whatever based, generally speaking, because I have no knowledge or experience with these. It both appeals to my sense of morality, but also makes me sad that I can't fully appreciate things others post or make, and I feel guilty about it. But I'd feel guilty if I favorited it anyway, so idk.

Anyone else feel this way?

Today I went out to walk and it was an amazing time, and I found it all so beautiful, the whole way through. I went out in my usual black sweatshirt and pants with a beanie, my (maybe 10+ years, can't remember) old black Converse with ridiculously torn up soles and my black gloves. Now, these gloves aren't very thick, and it was almost freezing out, so I went back and got some warmer ones, then headed out.

Outside, the air was dense with dampness. The sky was a heavenly light grey as if I had died already and were being lifted into the realm of Perfect Ideas. Anything over fifty feet away was greyed and muddied by the mist, like a dream. The entire ground was wet, with puddles and debris all over the ground. The air had a slight wind to it, not enough to make it "cold" and harsh, but definitely not stagnant either.

I saw five people outside, and I found their presences beautiful for the atmosphere of the scene. First was an older woman with a blonde bob and pink jacket or coat who was coming out to fix her car or something before she would leave. I passed by her. The second was a middle aged man, somewhat overweight, with a longish, scraggly pompodour thing and a light brown-beige coat. He was walking along the street (we don't have sidewalks often) opposite of me, perhaps about to jog as I was doing at times. Third was on the other side of the neighborhood, about an hour afterwards. I came to the end of one of the streets, a beautiful sight in many respects, and I saw three cars parked outside a house, with several children, all boys aged anywhere from about fourteen to five, and in the back was a man in a red coat picking stuff from his car. The fourth was along the long street on that side, where there are two very whimsical 60s or 70s houses, one that is tall and large, with a nice iron entrance into its back, the other being smaller and secluded, but with a lavish and silly garden. This man, a tall black man, probably middle aged, lived in the former. I've seen him sometimes before, but he really captivated me then when he got out of his truck, dressed in a black mariner's cap and brown long coat, then walked over to the door. The last was a quaint scene. It was a boy on a bicycle, with a brown mop top, and a black and blue-lined hoodie, cycling after a little black and white dog, going one direction, then when I'd get farther along the street, I'd see them going the opposite direction.

Now, on the construction of the neighborhood, I personally feel so attached to many parts of it. As I had said before, we don't have sidewalks all over, only about half the neighborhood has them, and sometimes they sporadically stop. There are two different types of construction for both the sidestreets and the sidewalks, nice concrete, and pebbly. The latter is generally older, and more prevalent overall, I believe. I prefer the latter, for it's more hard on the feet and feels more adventurous, more atmospheric, and oftentimes cracked and covered in moss and easily filled with puddles. I ran twice, and the second time was over a long stretch of sidewalk, mostly cracked and uneven, with lots of puddles and debris, with one short intermission for a drain system, which I had to go around since I can't jump over the gap, but I could and do always jump over the huge long puddle leading up to it, then skipping up the driveway of the next house and continuing my running.

The lawns were beautiful, a state of nature that I feel most pleased in. The grass was mostly green, with many patches and lawns that were not, but overall it was green, with many little flowers, especially dandelions, having sprouted up. The trees were almost all bare, with a couple evergreens, one white one and a good few that seemed in perpetual fall, since they still had a few dead leaves on them. A few drainage systems led to pretty large dumps that you can see over the rails in some streets. These lead to the many creeks around the area, and I love looking into any huge messes of trees I can find.

The houses here are postmodern, probably built in the 70s and 80s mostly, with brick and wood construction being that which about every house is. It's reminiscent of the suburbs of midwest cities like Chicago or Cincinnati, though a few houses looked to have been plucked off of the shores of New Jersey or Connecticut with more wood in plain colors and little tower-constructions. The most common colors are beige, brown and red, with some whites, pinks, and a few blues, blacks and greens. Half-timbered construction, while not common, is at home here. It all is very homely to me, making the little American flags on many people's houses or lawns look very fitting. It's a lot like the suburbs in the film Halloween, just a bit poorer and more rough-looking (no sidewalks lol), but it's the same sort of feeling of "Americana" or "suburbia". Now, the common portrait of this place is not drenched in fog and damp wetness, but it's my suburbia, I prefer it over the sun and blue skies. It's a different side, but just as beautiful, of the same thing.

I personally encourage you all to walk out in the open air when you can, on days you feel most beautiful. Just listen to music and observe every little detail of the surroundings. Get lost in the aesthetics of your nature, and write about it.

a journal explaining how I am and why I watch people and what I do and link it every time I watch somebody? idk I just worry I make some people uncomfortable or angry and they should get a taste of who I am pretty directly and in the journal it would have a part that would say that if you want to you can tell me to go away.

But then it'd get really spammy, and I probably wouldn't even remember half the time, and it might make otherwise okay people who would've been fine with me turned off idk

Me wiggling.

c<#ene;c I wiww wigguw at chu if chu doo aneetink bahd. Feaw meh ant moi wigguws.

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/eternalredmoon/

also has this account https://www.furaffinity.net/user/do.....frankenfurter/

This person contacted me "trying to be my friend" and very soon after started to ask for my real life pictures. Now, I may be overreacting to this, but I don't want to take any chances. If you see this person, be careful!