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Posted 4 years agoHello... I'm slowly coming back! This journal is simply to keep track of any commissions I get. Also to showcase the artists I am getting them from!
Saving up to get more again! Ha
Saving up to get more again! Ha
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Posted 4 years agoJust putting another journal here to keep the last one from being on my front page.
Hello, Thanks and... I'm sorry. [TW: Death/Suicide]
Posted 4 years agoI just.. wanted to say thanks to everyone who is still on my watchers list and following me. I'd also like to apologize. I've kind of disappeared the past few years, and for that I am sorry. Especially while not giving a full explanation. Only read on if you wish to know why... otherwise just know I appreciate all still here. Thank you.
TW: Suicide/gambling/death
Two years ago... I lost my mom. I lost her to suicide. We lived together. Her, Myself, Dante and another roommate. She was struggling with some issues and... It was so unreal and hard to even believe. I had talked to her that morning. Even gotten a little frustrated with her but tried to do as my therapist said and not push her or lay blame. She had developed a gambling addiction. We were close to losing everything, our homes, cars, possessions ... all of it. She was back and forth about admitting she had a problem. I was working with my personal therapist along with what I used to call our family... one of whom was my mothers brother and an addiction counselor. He never offered much help... just said he would try to plan an intervention. I did what I could... I hope... I hope I did all I could.
That day... I had talked to her. We had even talked about moving in another roommate we had found. Then she wouldn't have to pay any rent or bills, just her personal stuff like her car or phone. I had asked if she would be ok with moving some bedrooms around and ok with us adding another roomie. She seemed ok with it all, even excited. We were behind on rent, car payments, already lost one car due to repossession as we were using money meant for the payments to cover for things. This was a way for us to get back on top of things so she could focus more on her. I never told her it was her fault, I never told her how frustrating it was to see her going downhill. I knew she never had the best past herself and had many demons to work against already. I myself was also still a mess pending my disability trial so had no income to contribute to the household either... how could I blame anyone else??
Sadly... I guess... those demons finally took over. One thing that always used to comfort me was that mom and I shared the same feelings on suicide. Both of us were to scared to perform such a task... or so we always said when checking. Yeah, we checked a lot too... there is a history of it in our family. Her mother, and two of her sisters... and a cousin...
But that day... The hubby and I left to go to the dog park for a bit with our pup... it's still so strange. I... I remember that day way to clearly. I still have nightmares. At the park, about 30 minutes in there was a dog going around starting fights so we left. Ended up just going for a short walk then back home. But... I wish I never had left home. An hour after returning I went to check on my mom and found her... she was barely alive. Not breathing... everything after that seems so unreal. HOW could this happen... Dante and the roommate we already had started CPR, upon moving her we found all the pills and medicines surrounding her ... I was screaming into the phone at 911 for what felt like hours but was only mere minutes... First the police, then the fire truck... then the ambulance. Nobody would talk to me... nobody would say anything or let me back in her room... After a long grueling hour they carried her out but still wouldn't talk to me except to tell me which hospital to go to.
Soon I found out why... she was already gone. They managed to stabilize her body but her brain had lost too much oxygen and she had already gone brain dead... They kept her body going because she was a donor...
So... yeah... ever since that night I've been lost... and I kind of just disappeared off everything. I'm sorry... and I don't know if I'll ever fully be back or not. I find myself trying over the months and seasons... I do pop up or start talking again but then I fall back into my own mind and just hide from the world. And to be honest I think it's because I am terrified... For so long I always thought mom and I were too scared to end our own lives... and mom always found a way out of bad situations before. I just... never imagined that her of all people... And now that it's happened, how do I know if I'm close to crossing that same line myself? We shared the same opinion and now she is gone... what.. what happened????
... I'm sorry... I didn't really mean to turn this into such a messy post but... I have no idea how else to release what all has been on my mind the past 2 1/2 years. I have no idea what I'll be doing as time goes by either... so forgive me if I disappear for long periods of time here and there. I try not to but... focusing on anything seems nearly impossible anymore. Everything I once loved to do ... I find no joy in. Photography, dogs, dog training, role playing, chatting with friends... all of it seems so... hard now.
Anyway... if you've read this far, thank you. I do miss getting new arts, and maybe I will try to get back into things... maybe it would be a good distraction. I'd love to build up my smaller characters heh. Just know that I am sorry for poofing, and... I will try to do better.
Angel~
TW: Suicide/gambling/death
Two years ago... I lost my mom. I lost her to suicide. We lived together. Her, Myself, Dante and another roommate. She was struggling with some issues and... It was so unreal and hard to even believe. I had talked to her that morning. Even gotten a little frustrated with her but tried to do as my therapist said and not push her or lay blame. She had developed a gambling addiction. We were close to losing everything, our homes, cars, possessions ... all of it. She was back and forth about admitting she had a problem. I was working with my personal therapist along with what I used to call our family... one of whom was my mothers brother and an addiction counselor. He never offered much help... just said he would try to plan an intervention. I did what I could... I hope... I hope I did all I could.
That day... I had talked to her. We had even talked about moving in another roommate we had found. Then she wouldn't have to pay any rent or bills, just her personal stuff like her car or phone. I had asked if she would be ok with moving some bedrooms around and ok with us adding another roomie. She seemed ok with it all, even excited. We were behind on rent, car payments, already lost one car due to repossession as we were using money meant for the payments to cover for things. This was a way for us to get back on top of things so she could focus more on her. I never told her it was her fault, I never told her how frustrating it was to see her going downhill. I knew she never had the best past herself and had many demons to work against already. I myself was also still a mess pending my disability trial so had no income to contribute to the household either... how could I blame anyone else??
Sadly... I guess... those demons finally took over. One thing that always used to comfort me was that mom and I shared the same feelings on suicide. Both of us were to scared to perform such a task... or so we always said when checking. Yeah, we checked a lot too... there is a history of it in our family. Her mother, and two of her sisters... and a cousin...
But that day... The hubby and I left to go to the dog park for a bit with our pup... it's still so strange. I... I remember that day way to clearly. I still have nightmares. At the park, about 30 minutes in there was a dog going around starting fights so we left. Ended up just going for a short walk then back home. But... I wish I never had left home. An hour after returning I went to check on my mom and found her... she was barely alive. Not breathing... everything after that seems so unreal. HOW could this happen... Dante and the roommate we already had started CPR, upon moving her we found all the pills and medicines surrounding her ... I was screaming into the phone at 911 for what felt like hours but was only mere minutes... First the police, then the fire truck... then the ambulance. Nobody would talk to me... nobody would say anything or let me back in her room... After a long grueling hour they carried her out but still wouldn't talk to me except to tell me which hospital to go to.
Soon I found out why... she was already gone. They managed to stabilize her body but her brain had lost too much oxygen and she had already gone brain dead... They kept her body going because she was a donor...
So... yeah... ever since that night I've been lost... and I kind of just disappeared off everything. I'm sorry... and I don't know if I'll ever fully be back or not. I find myself trying over the months and seasons... I do pop up or start talking again but then I fall back into my own mind and just hide from the world. And to be honest I think it's because I am terrified... For so long I always thought mom and I were too scared to end our own lives... and mom always found a way out of bad situations before. I just... never imagined that her of all people... And now that it's happened, how do I know if I'm close to crossing that same line myself? We shared the same opinion and now she is gone... what.. what happened????
... I'm sorry... I didn't really mean to turn this into such a messy post but... I have no idea how else to release what all has been on my mind the past 2 1/2 years. I have no idea what I'll be doing as time goes by either... so forgive me if I disappear for long periods of time here and there. I try not to but... focusing on anything seems nearly impossible anymore. Everything I once loved to do ... I find no joy in. Photography, dogs, dog training, role playing, chatting with friends... all of it seems so... hard now.
Anyway... if you've read this far, thank you. I do miss getting new arts, and maybe I will try to get back into things... maybe it would be a good distraction. I'd love to build up my smaller characters heh. Just know that I am sorry for poofing, and... I will try to do better.
Angel~
Check out This Artist
Posted 7 years ago
Very awesome prices
Very awesome work
Don't let his gallery fool you, he draws females too!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18269705/
Really would like to see more females in his gallery so ladies go check him out!
Rest in Peace Mommy... (Donation link in journal...)
Posted 7 years agoI lost my mother tonight. She was battling her demons of gambling addiction and debt issues. I've tried to keep her chin up and help her without over pressuring her but I guess she became to ashamed of herself. She showed no sudden signs of change, we spoke today, we had a good chat and talked about how we were going to fix things.
I left to go to the park with my dog and boyfriend... and I returned to my worst nightmare. My mother committed suicide. My boyfriend and roommate tried to revive her but it was too late, paramedics took her to the ER and tried for two hours but she had gone to long without oxygen. She took all her medications at once... 5 bottles.
Please, if you cannot donate to help, then help by telling someone you love how you feel, tell someone hurting that you are there for them and lend an ear. Open a door for someone. Smile. Find a way to display anger gently and try to understand that addictions can be really hard. Don't give up on someone... Life is too short :c
https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/88kqlHJFJV
I left to go to the park with my dog and boyfriend... and I returned to my worst nightmare. My mother committed suicide. My boyfriend and roommate tried to revive her but it was too late, paramedics took her to the ER and tried for two hours but she had gone to long without oxygen. She took all her medications at once... 5 bottles.
Please, if you cannot donate to help, then help by telling someone you love how you feel, tell someone hurting that you are there for them and lend an ear. Open a door for someone. Smile. Find a way to display anger gently and try to understand that addictions can be really hard. Don't give up on someone... Life is too short :c
https://www.paypal.com/pools/c/88kqlHJFJV
Hey hey
Posted 9 years ago
Been awhile since I've been active here, sorry about that. Going through a bit of a financial rut so arts haven't been on the venue of 'needed' items. I miss getting them, and hope in due time I'll be back and better than ever. Thanks to those who have continued to keep watching. New art was just uploaded that a dear friend got of our characters having a fun romp x3 Hope you enjoy. I have so many ideas for later...just keep watching, soon enough I'll have more in store for you guys! Also a new character is in the making~
Good Quote to Remember
Posted 9 years ago
When a toxic person can no longer control you,
they will try to control how others see you.
The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it.
Trust that other people will eventually see the TRUTH,
just like you did!
I know a few people like this...just saying~
~Angel
Happy Easter AND Happy Anniversary to me and my Love! PLUS..
Posted 9 years ago
Yep that's right! 
and I have been together for a WHOLE year in real life as of today Couldn't be any happier either. With loosing my girl recently (AnnaBelle, the German Shepherd) as well as several things going on with my family and just life in general... he has stuck by my side through it all and never wavered or tried to run from anything. He helped me pay for my girls cremation, helped my family through a few things and always stood sturdily by my side. No, it's not perfect, nothing ever is... but it's the closest I've ever been to it and I'm completely happy with that!
He might not be a romantic, but he is a lover, and he loves me for me. I can't really ask for much more than that. He tells it like it is, he's there for me, and he's always got my back when the times do get rough. Not to mention, he got me Teddy too, my new puppy to help me heal over the loss of my girl and to follow in her footsteps as my future service dog. As you may already know (or not know) I have both PTSD and Autism... my girl did multiple things to aide me with both mental disabilities. She was actually in training to be my service dog before we heard of her cancer. So having a new puppy is both thrilling and hard work, another thing he is sticking by my side on and helping me with.
I love this man so much, and I'm so glad for the furry fandom since it is how we met. We might not be around as much as we once were but trust me when I say it's only because life serves us well and keeps us plenty busy (Plus a young puppy proves to be hard work!)
Anyways, just thought I'd put this out there. Love you babe, and so happy you came all the way here to Missouri to be with me. You've made me one happy lady and I hope for many more years to come.
P.S. Angel (RP ONLY) had a puppy today! A purple and white shepherd/wolf named Dante Jr.! I wasn't able to get any 'puppy' art of him since my girl passed and a new puppy came along, so really haven't had the extra money to spend, but I was able to get a great reference sheet of what he will look like as an adult so that is posted too. Hope you enjoy!
Thanks so much for reading. Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and spring break!
Always
~Angel
Oh, here are some photos of Teddy to make you smile!
6 weeks:
http://i.imgur.com/6BjqnT7.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/k5ugJeJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/6GYbCkv.jpg
8 Weeks:
http://i.imgur.com/fr15vjy.jpg HAPPY EASTER
http://i.imgur.com/nEIYcLo.jpg
9 Weeks:
http://i.imgur.com/n7enSgm.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/jkiojMh.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/v5dhC8U.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Czhja4B.jpg
10 Weeks:
http://i.imgur.com/ArIuSZL.jpg
RIP Sweet AnnaBelle... and...!
Posted 9 years ago
As my previous journal stated, I had to have my baby put down. She crossed the rainbow bridge last week and I miss every single bit of her. We still have her hair all over the house and I can't bear to clean it all up and wipe her away so quickly... We never moved her bed from the living room, never put away her toys. We all miss her... Dante, me, my little brother and my mom too. She will always be remembered and loved, and I can't wait to see her again at the rainbow bridge when my time comes to go as well.
I knew for awhile now that I'd want another dog after she was gone. My psychiatrist even wanted me to get one before she passed but I didn't think it would be fair to have to do training with a new dog and take all that attention away from her in her final months so I waited. Well, got me the cutest puppy out there. His name is Thaddeus aka Teddy for short. He's been with us for 3 days and is slowly learning the rules. A very quiet pup so far while he gets used to everything and he loves to cuddle.
No... he's not a replacement. But, he will help our hearts heal. I plan to make a shadow box for my girl too. I got a kit before we had to put her to sleep that let us make a mold of her paw print. I also got a shadow box to start working on. I plan to put AnnaBelle's collar in it, the paw print mold, some of her hair I got, my favorite pictures of her and her favorite toy.
Anyway, just wanted to update from the last journal. AnnaBelle will always have a piece of my heart, and I know that she was loved more than she'd ever know. Even my facebook friends from all my dog groups grieved and miss her with all the photos I used to take and share with them all.
Now, for all those who are curious... Meet Teddy!
http://i.imgur.com/k5ugJeJ.jpg
He's quite the adorable German Shepherd. Hopefully he will be as easy to train as my girl but... we shall see!
Thanks for reading guys <3
~Angel
What a dreadful thing to have to do...
Posted 9 years ago
Just made the hardest appointment I've ever had to make... AnnaBelle, my German Shepherd Dog, will be put to rest on Thursday at 2:30pm CST and finally able to rest peacefully and cancer free. At only 4 years old I feel robbed and broken ... But I don't wish for her to suffer. She hasn't had a bite to eat since Friday night, can't seem to poop, doesn't really want to play and won't even go for a car ride. She lies around the house, at times it is even hard for her to get up and she walks funny. She keeps having accidents and is obviously uncomfortable. Even with the little bit of spunk she does show now and again I can tell it's time... she went downhill so fast... too fast...I can't let her suffer... so I've made a decision I never thought I'd have to make. This ... sucks :c
Going to spend the next couple of days just showering her in love and trying to keep her comfortable. I got her to take her medicine, she didn't fight me... she doesn't have much 'fight' left... I just hope she knows that I love her to the moon and back and I'll never forget her or the love she's shown me. As my first official puppy and partner in crime... she has been my life the past 4 and a half years. She has seen me cry, go through breakups, helped me through panic attacks, soothed me to sleep when I couldn't quit crying, licked away my tears and also shared my laughter... played and jumped and celebrated each time I came through the door as though I was the best person ever. She gave me hope, and reason, and meaning. She was going to be my service dog, and is the best dog anyone could ever ask for.
Perfect in so many ways, intelligent, bright, loving, protective... my heart! She will never be forgotten, and greatly missed... I now can't help but dread the coming of Thursday ... This just... sucks!
Puppy Anna
http://i.imgur.com/NFkdLVH.jpg
Adult Anna
http://i.imgur.com/7JcsHtE.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/kOfOV3Q.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/JbAMBTZ.jpg
It's My BIRTHDAY :D
Posted 9 years ago
IDK, just thought I would say so x3 Turning 26 today... crossing that bridge which takes me even CLOSER to 30. Gosh I feel so old... life just flies by anymore. Sometimes I miss being a kid back in school with nothing to worry about but a little homework ... I never did mind school though haha. Ah well... just another day for me anyway, no money to actually go out for dinner or do anything so I'll be staying at home like a bored lil pup. Doesn't bother me any though, I've recently become addicted to the game ARK Survival. I have a huge facination for games where you can craft your own settlements and bases :) So I've been crafting on both my account and my boyfriends haha. I'll probably be doing that alllll day too. Wish I knew some others that played ARK on xbox one. Would be cool to have some help hehe.
Well, that's all for now. Sorry for blabbering. Just thought I'd say something since most people do on their birthdays. Have a great day everyone!
~Angel, the Strawberry Sheppy
<3Being Thankful... Had a Decent Holiday
Posted 9 years ago
It's been a rough couple of months for me, finding out that my dog has cancer and then my brother stealing my boyfriends truck (and he's only 13) just to take off to his dad's house since his dad hasn't had anything to do with him and he isn't taking that well, so now he's in juvi for grand theft auto... But despite all that, I had a decent holiday. It's a bit off without the little brother here, but at the same time it's kind of a ... welcomed quietness. No little brother drama and such. Hope that doesn't sound mean, I do love and miss the little twat but eh, if you knew him you'd know what I mean xD
Anyways, I'm just glad that my pup has made it to Christmas. Her diagnosis left me thinking she may have been gone by now but she's honestly doing really good and for that I am super thankful. Best Christmas gift ever right there. She does have some bad days where all her lymph nodes will swell up and she wont eat, drink or play but by the next day she's doing alright again.
For Christmas we didn't do a whole lot, but went to the movies with Dante and my mom to see the new star wars movie. It was pretty awesome really and I've never seen any of the previous ones so now I might have to look into them more. After that we went to TGI Fridays to eat and came home to relax. It was peaceful and a good Christmas in the end, even if it was kind of lacking in spirit due to all the events going on.
I just have to say, I'm super thankful for Dante being here with me. That has been the best thing to happen to me all year and well, him coming here in March to be with me, and put up with me, is the best gift I've gotten all year. It was a bit rough in the beginning as we adjusted to one another but we've learned how to communicate with each other and we've opened up to one another a lot and I feel so great with him being around, it's almost like a dream come true. He is so nice to me, spoils me, does stuff for me and treats me well. Through the past 9 months of him being here, my family has gone through a lot and he's stuck with me through everything. I have full trust in him and I'm so thankful he's here to support me because without him I feel I'd be so lost at times. I just hope he knows that
But, enough of my sappiness. I just am happy and thankful and had to say so. Hope everyone else had a good holiday as well.
Always, Angel ~
My pup... Not Doing Well =C
Posted 10 years ago
So... Some of the side effects of prednisone include increased appetite, increased thirst, (which come with the need to go potty more), heavy breathing, panting, lethargy (Lack of motivation/energy), depression, diarrhea, vomiting, course/fine grungy coat, and many others...
AnnaBelle has only been on it for a week and a half and is showing almost all these symptoms.... It's making her miserable. She knows she isn't supposed to potty in the house but she can't help it when she does if nobody wakes up at night to let her out or if everyone is at work, ect. So now she hides, runs away when we come home, cowers and just feels ashamed of herself. Nobody is mad, nobody yells at her... she just knows better and because she did the deed she is scared that it'll upset us.
On top of that she's been acting depressed, not wanting to play as much, unable to play when she does want too because of loss of breath and she's gained quite a bit of weight in the past week and a half to where she looks more than pudgy... She's been stealing food from our plates, eating out of the litter box, digging in the trash and much more just to sate her appetite.
I hate seeing her so miserable... The side effects of the prednisone seem worse than her initial diagnosis of cancer. So... with that in mind, and after talking to the vet, I've made the decision to opt out of the medicine. If she is not happy taking it, then why make her? I didn't give it to her yesterday or today. Only one accident so far which happened while I was at work. She's back to eating/drinking almost normal amounts and all the huffing/heavy breathing has quit. She is also back to chasing the kitty around and playing with him and us again.
What I've basically done is chose quality over quantity... It breaks my heart to think this means she will leave me faster but at the same time I don't want to remember her last days being complete misery for her. If this means she leaves me a month or two sooner then so be it... at least she will get to enjoy the coming weeks. Her prognosis with prednisone was only 1-3 months, and without it, it is 4-6 weeks. So... My guess is she will be gone by the time Christmas gets here, or very soon after/before my birthday.
As much as I want to be selfish and give her the steroid I just can't watch her hate herself for having accidents and all that... struggling to breath, struggling to play. This girl has been my entire life. My soul dog. My first that I'll have had which was mine and not the 'families'. The first I'll have had from puppy til death... She was in training to be my PTSD/Autism Service dog. Only she has been able to break me away from panic attacks. She reads me like an open book. She knows if someone is making me nervous, and makes them back away if they are in my personal space. She knows when I'm not feeling well and lays across my feet while I sit in my chair. She knows if I'm about to have a panic attack and will lick my fists so I remember to uncurl them so my nails don't cut into my palms, and she will nuzzle my face and neck when I am having one of my many panic attacks and crying like a baby while being unable to breath. No ... she was not trained to do any of this. See, that is what makes her so special... it's a connection between the two of us so rare I doubt I'll find another dog to ever match her abilities of smartness, cunning and love.
Sure, I can get another dog and have them trained to do all the same things, and I will over time... but, it wouldn't be the same. Eventually, maybe even soon, I will get another dog and learn to love them as well but... Nobody will ever replace or come close to my AnnaBelle. She's my baby, and I feel like... if I had a kid, I would be loosing them instead of 'just a dog' as some keep trying to tell me she is. She's not just a dog, she's not just 'A' family member either... she is my soul dog, my heart dog, a very huge and large part of me. Through many times of me wanting to give up on this life I live, she gave me a reason to hold on. She needed me just as much as I needed her. Nobody knew her like I did, nobody could sense when she was needing to go out (as it was a certain look she would give me, she knew of no other way to tell others). Nobody could tell when she wasn't feeling well cause they never paid close enough attention. I knew though, and she knew to come to me. She is my baby... and I hate that I have to loose her...
Anyway... that is the update for now =C Sorry I'm so sappy and sad lately, I just can't believe this is happening. Especially to a 4 year old dog who was mostly healthy before hand despite some skin/allergy issues.
Thank you for those watching and following... All the support is welcome and I also apologize for not always responding to responses... if I think too much on it all I end up having a panic attack so I fair better to just post, read the comments then to go on with busying myself with something to do rather than to dwell on it. Especially since she can pick up on my feelings and I don't want her upset just because I am unhappy for the time being. Our time is too short for all that... Just know I'm reading, and I see the comments. And I thank you all for the responses.
Always,
Angel & AnnaBelle
Whew... Finally got that done. Also, Pup update =/
Posted 10 years ago
Ok, finally got done re-uploading all my arts in a certain order. Sorry about that folks. Sometimes I can be a little OCD. My main reasoning for this though is because Angel isn't featured in naughty/yiffy arts anymore unless they are with Dante. So... I wanted to push all those arts back some in the gallery. I didn't want to delete them, lots of the arts with others were gifts or ones I got with friends who I still cherish greatly <3 So I couldn't ever delete them. But now it's more organized and they all have some proper taggage and what not.
I have a few new arts on the way. Might be waiting a month for one of them and the other two should be done soon hopefully. I'm not telling you what they are :P Nothing naughty though. Slowly going to try and get back into all this. I rarely role-play anymore so I'm getting back into the artsy side of things.
For those who know about my pup's diagnosis of Cancer, she is on steroids now to help her last a bit longer. I don't think she will be here come Christmas so if I do poof for awhile it's probably cause of that :c The medicine makes her eat and drink a lot. Constantly. Today alone I let her out 15 times just to go potty and at night she cannot hold it long enough for anyone to wake up so has been going on the floor. She's also struggling to breath at times and will wake up from a dead sleep simply because she is huffing so hard and loudly. It's sad to see her like this. Only 4 years old and her body is failing her.
Anyways. That is what is up now. I'll be responding to all the comments on my resubmissions over the next few days. Thanks for baring with me. If you haven't looked through them yet, find a couple you like and tell me about it! I love seeing what ya'll like so I can get more of it.
Thanks guys
~Angel
NOTE: Resubmitting Submissions
Posted 10 years ago
Hey all. Just a note that I will slowly be resubmitting my artwork to my profile. Going to add some extra text/description to each art along with proper tags and so forth. I also wanting my 'main gallery' to look a bit more organized since this new folder thing came out. Bare with me on this. Once I re-submit something I will then delete the old submission.
I know...I keep messing with my profiles but I promise I'm happy with what all I come up with this go around. Really taking my time and punching out some fine details for once. Starting to enjoy my characters again. Who knows, I may add some short stories to each submission for you to read in the description :P That is always fun, and lewd, right? ;3
-Angel
Looking for ARTIST for Reference Sheet/Feline
Posted 10 years ago
Hello!
I have a project, I am making a new character and am looking for an artist who is open for ref sheets. Wanting front/back/headshot/NSFW
Would really prefer it be someone who likes to draw felines/lynx/leopards and females. That sort of thing.
If you know of a great artist then shoot me their info so I can do price checks! Super excited for this new kitty girl I'm creating. I just know she will be adorable!
Thanks
~Angel
Newly Updated Profile... What do you think? I'm loving it!!
Posted 10 years ago
So, to keep myself busy while sick I decided to work some on my FA profile here (Also did a rework the past few days of all my sofurry and f-list profiles xD) I've been a rather busy bee!
FA I saved for last because... well... it is the hardest ._. All those darn codes, trying to add colors to everything and make it pretty...yeesh. But, I did it!
I want to thank my friend, 
for helping me. I sent him the text and borders, along with all that I wanted on it and he colored it up in all my favorite colors for me! I couldn't be more pleased. I just LOVE it. Now I need to figure out how I want to spice up my journal header/footers and maybe save some coding for when I do post journals. Hehe.
Anyways, the profile itself is more about me, IRL, versus my fursona. In the coming days/weeks I will be updating more of the submissions I have. I've already made folders, but I plan to update the info on each characters ref sheet since I've updated all their profiles elsewhere.
Also, coming soon! I've thought up another character. I'm not going to tell you the specifics yet, but she is going to be a feline hybrid of sorts. A colorful one too I promise you.
Hope you enjoy the new profile! I think it's a lot less messy and easier to read. If you see anything that is typo'd or could be said better do let me know!
Thanks!
~Angel
Getting Nervous...
Posted 10 years ago
My pup has been breathing heavy all night, like it's almost a struggle for her to even breath at all... It does scare me. Someone else that I've talked to said this is what happened to their pup right before they had to put her down cause of the lymphoma. I feel like I don't have enough time left... I haven't taken near as many photos as I wanted and this weekend was ruined thanks to catching strep throat and being sick as heck.
Listening to her right now, laying next to my chair, huffing and struggling for breath... this is so not fair... Why? She is only four years young and still acts like a pup half the time. It hasn't even snowed yet... she loves the snow. What if she doesn't get to see it before she leaves me?
Sorry... I'm just...scared. Anyway... that is the update for now. Besides the breathing she acts pretty normal. Drinks a ton of water from the steroids. Has taken a liking to stealing food too which she has never done but I don't even care. She can have whatever she wants.
Thanks for reading...
~Angel
The final diagnosis on my pup...
Posted 10 years ago
Just talked to the vet. AnnaBelle is confirmed to have lymphoma... She has 1-3 months to live while taking the prednisone. I've gotten stuff to make tumeric paste and will start adding it to her food come supper time. I can't do chemo since she is on prednisone already nor do I want to put her through the 15 weeks of treatment that comes with chemo nor do I even have the $5,000 to do so... For now, we will be spending time in her favorite places while I take tons of photos...
I was told to watch for her nodes to enlarge again and then I will know the time is coming soon after... This isn't like other cancers... it's not a removable lump, it attacks the lymph nodes throughout her entire body then eventually bleeds into her other organs and it happens very quickly. Which is also why chemo is more expensive for it, it requires full body radiation and chemo therapy for a longer period of time. Plus even with treatment, the cancer will come back within 6-12 months without a good prognosis after.
Four years young... and she may be gone before Christmas comes. I'm heartbroken... but for now I can't show it... Going to spend today going to a few of her favorite places and taking photos with the new camera mom gave me early as a Christmas present. For now I don't wish to dwell on the bad news so I will leave it at this. Thanks to all who have been here for us and supported us through this time..
~Christina & AnnaBelle
How my pup is doing
Posted 10 years ago
As I posted a week ago, my 4 1/2 year old German Shepherd fell ill. She stopped eating, was feverish, lethargic, didn't want to play, didn't want to be petted and was rather distant. We took her to the vet and they had two idea's of what it could be.
One was tick born illness, the other was Lymphoma (a fast aggressive type of cancer).
Well, we have been taking strong antibiotics (doxycycline) to treat for tick born illness but she has not really improved. I got her to eat, but she will only eat wet food for now. She will play some days, then on other days her nodes have swollen up and caused her problems, making her not want to eat or play again.
Since the antibiotic is not wanting to work, we are now leaning towards the Lymphoma. Tomorrow (Thursday 10/29) she will be going in to have a biopsy done. This is where they will sedate her, cut out a couple of nodes then send them in for testing and to be looked at by a proper pathologist.
We will also be starting her on prednisone, a steroid proven to help lymph nodes go down in size so the dog can return to a mostly normal state when dealing with Lymphoma. Unfortunately, I will not have the $5,000 for the 15 weeks of chemo/treatment to throw down on her if it is cancer... With the prednisone she has about 1-3 months to live max. As much as I try to pray and hope that it is not Lymphoma, the vets are pretty convinced already that it is :C
I just... have to do this test. I have to know... so when the time does come to let her go to the rainbow bridge I won't have to wonder or worry that we were wrong...
Anyways... just a little update I guess on how she is fairing. Today she went on a few car rides with me, even played fetch and was enjoying attention again. Even begged for extra food! All of her nodes are still enlarged/prominent though :C
This pup has been my life... it's hard to think she may not be with me soon. Having had her from 8 weeks old she has been one of the only solid beings in my life. Never judged me, never left me alone, never let me down, always listened to me. I loved doing different things with her to. Going to dog training, herding seminars, dock diving and just hiking out on the trails, enjoying nature. She's inspired me to try harder, keep going, keep living life! So... I don't really know what to think/make of any of this. Not sure my mind is ready to wrap around it all fully yet.
A little over a year ago I was diagnosed with Autism/PTSD which comes with anxiety/depression. I've started to have more and more panic attacks over the years, fearful shaking, crying, forgetting how to breath, freaking out to the point I've had ones that lasted 3-4 hours long and landed me knocked out in the hospital... but when she is around, she knows what to do. She knows how to bring me out of them when nobody else could. I had plans to see about having her trained as my service dog, was working on a few little issues before she could be called such. Just... hurts to think that I might loose her forever...Not even sure I will want another dog for awhile or what. I've never not had a dog... or some kind of animal at least. I do have my kitty but... have always loved dogs more (more fun/interactive!)
I guess that is all for rambling tonight... just giving an update. When the results of her biopsy come next week I will be sure to update about it then.
Thanks for taking the time to read. I have a photo of AnnaBelle in scraps as well if you wish to see her. She is a bi-color german shepherd so does not look like the 'traditional' american/german shepherd you see everyday.
~Angel
Birthday Time for my Wuffie!
Posted 10 years ago
Hey everyone! It's my blue wolfies birthday Be sure to go to his FA page and give him a poke, a hug and wish him well! He turned 26 today :D Woot, a whole three months older than me x3
My ABC's (Fun Fact Post)
Posted 10 years agoA - Age
25, birthday being January 27th, 1990
B - Biggest fear
Failure, not being able to make ends meet.
C - Cold or warm weather?
Cold, all the more snuggles with this wolf
D - Drink you last had
Sweet Tea from McDonalds
E - Extraterrestrials, do they exist?
It’s quite possible I suppose, yet I’ve never met one so it’s a mystery :D
F - First thing you did when you wake up
Play Pokemon Shuffle on my phone, I’m addicted.
G - Ghosts, are they real?
I’ve seen a few.
H - How tall are you?
5’7”
I - In love with someone?
My handsome blue wolfeh as mentioned above
J - Jealous of someone?
Mmm… Sometimes I can get a little jealous sharing my wolf in roleplays Cx
But that is why our mains are closed to one another and we now use different characters to role-play with.
Along with a little list of rules of do’s/don’ts. Seems to be helping so far :D
K - Killed anyone?
People? No… Spiders? Many…
L - Last time you ever cried
Maybe a week ago? I’m a big baby… PTSD doesn’t make it any easier when you get to over thinking shit and remembering stuff from the past.
M - Music genre you dislike the most
Screamo/Heavy Metal, I don’t know what it is about those kinds of things, but they seem so angry and make me angry in turn.
N - Newest acquisition
Used desktop for my babe, something to work for now until we can save up to buy a newer/better one
O - One wish
I wish I could draw, I love art and this site so it would be really nice to be able to contribute to the drawing side of things instead of the buying… my wallet hates me.
P - Pie flavor which is your favorite?
Apple/Pecan/Pumpkin, in that order.
Q - Question you often ask
Voiced: “What?” I’m near half deaf, literally, so I have to ask ‘what’ a lot if someone speaks to low or mumbles
Text: How are you?
R - Reason to smile
Dante, my pup AnnaBelle, and my kitty Rengar
S - Song you like the most
I never was good with this one, it always changes.
T - Time you wake up
It’s never the same, but averages around 10am or so CST
U - Underwear color
Multi-color… cause I sure don’t wear the same pair everyday xP
V - Video game you like the most
Destiny on 360, Neverwinter on PC
W - Worst habits
I eat too much junk/fast food… I’m also a smoker.
X - X-rays taken
Several but so far nothing broken. Lots of twisted ankles, some of my chest, also my pelvic area.
Y - Your favorite food
Spaghetti or Seafood
Z - Zodiac sign
Aquarius
Now I know my ABC’s, won’t you come and sing them with me ;D
Stolen from
’s profile. Check out all her cute arts!
25, birthday being January 27th, 1990
B - Biggest fear
Failure, not being able to make ends meet.
C - Cold or warm weather?
Cold, all the more snuggles with this wolf
D - Drink you last had
Sweet Tea from McDonalds
E - Extraterrestrials, do they exist?
It’s quite possible I suppose, yet I’ve never met one so it’s a mystery :D
F - First thing you did when you wake up
Play Pokemon Shuffle on my phone, I’m addicted.
G - Ghosts, are they real?
I’ve seen a few.
H - How tall are you?
5’7”
I - In love with someone?
My handsome blue wolfeh as mentioned above
J - Jealous of someone?
Mmm… Sometimes I can get a little jealous sharing my wolf in roleplays Cx
But that is why our mains are closed to one another and we now use different characters to role-play with.
Along with a little list of rules of do’s/don’ts. Seems to be helping so far :D
K - Killed anyone?
People? No… Spiders? Many…
L - Last time you ever cried
Maybe a week ago? I’m a big baby… PTSD doesn’t make it any easier when you get to over thinking shit and remembering stuff from the past.
M - Music genre you dislike the most
Screamo/Heavy Metal, I don’t know what it is about those kinds of things, but they seem so angry and make me angry in turn.
N - Newest acquisition
Used desktop for my babe, something to work for now until we can save up to buy a newer/better one
O - One wish
I wish I could draw, I love art and this site so it would be really nice to be able to contribute to the drawing side of things instead of the buying… my wallet hates me.
P - Pie flavor which is your favorite?
Apple/Pecan/Pumpkin, in that order.
Q - Question you often ask
Voiced: “What?” I’m near half deaf, literally, so I have to ask ‘what’ a lot if someone speaks to low or mumbles
Text: How are you?
R - Reason to smile
Dante, my pup AnnaBelle, and my kitty Rengar
S - Song you like the most
I never was good with this one, it always changes.
T - Time you wake up
It’s never the same, but averages around 10am or so CST
U - Underwear color
Multi-color… cause I sure don’t wear the same pair everyday xP
V - Video game you like the most
Destiny on 360, Neverwinter on PC
W - Worst habits
I eat too much junk/fast food… I’m also a smoker.
X - X-rays taken
Several but so far nothing broken. Lots of twisted ankles, some of my chest, also my pelvic area.
Y - Your favorite food
Spaghetti or Seafood
Z - Zodiac sign
Aquarius
Now I know my ABC’s, won’t you come and sing them with me ;D
Stolen from
’s profile. Check out all her cute arts!Curious...
Posted 10 years ago
I'm wonderin[color=#C436FB]g[/color] if anyone would be interest[color=#C937F4]e[/color]d in reading role-pla[color=#CD37EE]y[/color]s my mate and I do together[color=#D138E7]?[/color] I've started to edit and upload them to my sofurry account but I know not everyone on here is also on sofurry. Just wonderin[color=#E63BC5]g[/color] who would be interest[color=#EA3CBF]e[/color]d. Kinks vary as well as lengths of roleplay[color=#F23DB3]s[/color], and they won't be quite like a story since it's the two of us going back and forth x3 I just... have a little thing about liking to role-pla[color=#F43EB0]y[/color] in the open rooms, but since Mr. Dante isn't so up for that I've decided to just upload them after instead, which he is more ok with. Let me know, and if you want examples of a few we have done check out my sofurry here: https://[color=#CE37EC]t[/color]he-shepps.sofurr[color=#CA37F3]y[/color].com under uploaded 'stories[color=#C336FE]'[/color].
Note: Not all our role-pla[color=#DA39D9]y[/color]s are Dante/An[color=#E73CC5]g[/color]el or even our characte[color=#FB3FA4]r[/color]s. We have a few others we use from time to time just to switch it up ;3
~Angel
Hey guys!
Posted 10 years ago
So just wanted to say hello to all my watchers[color=#F53EAE].[/color] I know I really haven't uploaded anything in awhile or gotten anything new. Experien[color=#E33BCB]c[/color]ing some money problems but slowly things are getting back on track. I plan to get several new commissi[color=#CD37EE]o[/color]ns in the future. The plan is to get some of my two new sheppies Karamell and Kirsche, plus I have a few more plans with Dante/An[color=#D338E4]g[/color]el arts. Then possibly a Kirsche/[color=#DA39D8]D[/color]aemien (Daemien is another of Dante's characte[color=#E43BC9]r[/color]s) pairing. It'll be super slow on any of these but wanted to let people know I am still alive x3[/color][color=#F93FA8]Hope everyone is doing well!
Angel~
