I wish I could say I was back, but I'm not.
I'm still on the outskirts of the pack, still a pony on the fence, and some one longing to be back to normal.
But I'm not.
I keep falling further and further off the edge.
Health, mental and physical, has kept me from doing anything.
I have been unemployed for almost 2 years now with NON-covid related health issues. If you know you know.
and instead of using the time to Draw, write, or get caught up on Books and games I have been putting off I just sit here and languish.
Now because of my issues I have to be a little fair, I can't sit in front of my computer like I used to. The pic I posted today has taken me a week to do.
Draw, "Scan" [fucking mice], clean up, color, and post.
I have been writing, long hand
and Drawing, I have really gotten into Inktober and have been taking prompts from close friends in an attempt to not let my skills atrophy.
Got a ton of those, and they look like ass. but if any one wants to see them I'll try to up load them.

I guess I just want to say that I love you all and I still think of you often. I'm just not well and I don't know when I will be again

2019 came
and went
I was absent most of the year again, and I am sorry for that. I missed out on most of the Inktober event, that sucked. I genuinely was looking forward to it to.
Things I feared came to pass, i have not spoken to one of the most people for a very long time. And About the only thing really note worthy is that I tried and failed to die 4 times. Starting the end of July I went in to the hospital with a sever Cellulitis infection in my groin. My coin purse, imagery my friends use your imagination, swelled to the size of a large soft ball. Was in the hospital for over a week with that. Got out for about a week and went back in with a sever Sepsis infection. Another week in the hospital. than 2 weeks on continuous IV medication. Get clear of that for a week and end up back in there with a sever Bacterium infection. After a week of that, another 2 weeks of at home IV medication. a few weeks of recuperation. Finally get back to work, make it about a week and back in for a 4th time, this time pneumonia.
What a sumer.

So after 10 months of silence I am more than likely back.
I lost my second job for doing it, but oh well.
Going to make the best of my temporary return as I am going to have to get another 2nd job, i needs the money.

Well after some confusion and a few emails I am back.
wish I had stuff to show. Maybe soon

Though I am still claiming that I am not back, kind of, sort of, maybe.

Any ways I need help finding a reference. I would like to draw a girl in a nice dress. What I would like if references to dresses, preferably classic/renaissance/Gothic in style

I know this is becoming habit.
I promised I would be back at the beginning of the year.
Well fixed my internet problems, only for my computer to break.
*Sigh*
I am trying to come back I really am, I miss you all

So, funny how one month has turned into at least next year.
Still behind on things and just spent a week in the hospital with Hypoxia and Pneumonia.
I am relatively fine now, but now more than ever I do not know when I'll be back.
I hope everyone has an amazing holidays.

Hey all
Sorry for the lack of... well anything.
I have recently become grossly behind on several bills and needed to pick up hours at work.
I tried doing side work, but un fortunately that didn't pan out.
I did manage to find a second job IRL and between that and my taxie job I have no time for anything.
Also I have been shut off from the net. The cable bill was one of those bills not paid.
It will be at least a month before I am back online. I'll try to check in on my phone when I can.
Sorry for letting anyone down

We here at Madness Studios (Me) would like to take this moment to wish a very Happy Mothers Day to all of our followers and friends who have Babies, either their own or adopted. You have the worlds hardest job and you do it with grace and sometimes even dignity, and still have time to do arts. And to that we (Me) applaud you.

So a great big hug from us (Me) to you and may your little ones make your day shine extra bright today.

An Old Meme that I did when I first started FA.

1. Would you be in control?
2. Would you pull my hair?
3. Would you whisper in my ear?
4. Would you talk dirty to me?
5. Would you kiss me with a little tongue or a lot of tongue?
6. Would you say my name?
7. Would you go down on me?
8. Would you let me give you a hickie?
9. How many rounds would we go?
10. What would you wanna do afterwards?
11. Would you take off all your clothes then take mine off slowly?
12. Would you lick and bite me all over?
13. Would you like to play or get straight to the point?
14. Would you want me to take my time?
15. How freaky are you, 1 - 10?
16. Would you want fast or slow?
17. Where would you wanna "do it"?
18. Would you be loud or quiet?
19. Would you want me to be loud or quiet?
20. Would you mind if i liked you?
21. Do you like me?
22. Would you call me the next day?
23. Would you scratch me?
24. Would you let me scratch you?
25. Would you have to be drunk?
26. Would you date me?
27. Would you do it today?
28. Would you do it tomorrow?
29. Do you think that we would go any further then just sex?
30. Are you going to re-post these so I can answer them for you?
31. Would you make love to me or fuck me?

So no takers.
So I went back and spruced things up.
I realized the poses were rather plane, and unattractive.
So they have been re-imagined. So go have a look.
Again I am not auctioning them off. I am out right selling them.
As many of each pose as I can.

Please look at my gallery to see if I can do what you would like.
And Note me if you are interested.

You see them everywhere these days, You Could Be Here auctions, and more than just a few artists are doing them.
Well a very good friend of mine has been after me for years to do commissions and I have always shied away from doing so for personal reasons.
Well after some lengthy talks and some hefty persuasion this friend convinced me to give this a shot.
Here is where I am doing things different. i am not going to auction off the poses. I am going to post 6 poses at first and they are going to be $10 each. If you want one or more NOTE me, and we can talk.
I ask that before you do though to please go through my gallery and make sure that I can do what it is you want me to do.
It will be $10 a pose, up front. through Paypal.
I hope this goes really well and I look forward to working with you.

Liberated from


You and I are handcuffed together in the back of a cop car. Using ONLY four words what would you say to me?

Note: if you comment you must copy and paste this to your status so I can comment on yours as well. Be a good sport and play along

I had almost forgoten about this contest. You know I don't know if I have ever come across any one who ever did the full thing.
But  keisha_makainn Is going to attempt it. So lets give a fellow artist a hand.
Check out the journal Here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4863779/

 panda-panda-boom-boom is having a raffle, go check it out. Support a fellow artist.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4860950/

So my Dear Friend is looking to do one free Pic for one lucky individual.
Just follow the link http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4755236/

Borrowed from my friend

SINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get
♥ = I want a relationship with you
C: = I'm falling for you
:3 = I miss you
;] = i really like you
:* = I want to kiss you
:< = I hate you
: X = I like you
O: = I like you but im in a relationship
:/ = I like you but your in a relationship
:] = You're cute
</3 = I regret leaving you
:b = We should get to know each other
;^) = We should hang out
<3 = I love you.. \o/
<:^ = i want to know you
@FT@=*stalk*
eue= You're hot
<:3 = You're a great friend
^_^ = We're friends
^.^ = We're best friends
>;3 = I want you on top
>:3 = I want on top

I remember in a previous journal that I was done making excuses for lack of work.
However.
In October my Lap Top of 7 years died on me, out right. Thank fully I had backed up everything and was in the middle of a reformat. So that left me in the market for a New machine. I found one right away that I loved. But I let myself be talked into waiting until Black Friday and it might be cheaper. Well the closer Black Friday came the less likely that this Lap Top would be on sale. Than Black Friday came and lo my Lap Top was not on sale. But I found another one that was and it had the same stats or comparable to the first and it was $500 less.

Enter the Dell Inspirion 7720

NOW, I am going to rewind time about 10 years.
I have owned a Dell before, back when when "Dude you're getting a Dell" was their catch phrase.
I was so excited... Till I turned it on and it told me to back up the hard drive and send it in to be replaced. Thus started my sour relation ship with Dell.

Now.
So I get this Dell and get it home. Right away it is Windows 8, an OS I didn't bargain for. And started a new chapter of shit storms.
First and for most I some how ran out of computers to use my Office 10 license on, and have been with out since. Than I discovered that Adobe no longer supports their CS2 line of products. However you can DL the programs from them and still use your serial number.
First it didn't down load right, than it didn't install right, and kept asking me for my product key.
Than, once again, it died. Out right told me to reformat the Hard Drive. Took it in, the sales man looked at me, looked at it, looked back at me. "Want to pick out a new one?"
So I got a second Dell Inspirion 7720
And once again had nothing but problems, this time it would crash and tell me there was Watchdog_Violation. It would do this 5 or 6 times before working right. So it got reformated again.

Now it is running smothly, kind of. and I have a working copy of PScs6. So I can begine arting again. However suddenly my Printer scanner isn't working. Hopefully I will have a working one soon.

My good friend has decided to host a Secret Santa event. Go have a look at her journal for more information.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4083159/

Rules: Just copy and paste in a comment or via note if you want to keep is hush hush. Most of all just be truthful and re-post if you wish.

Why the hell not. It's just for fun.

Don't be shy and have fun ^^

1) Would you have sex with me if you could?

2) Have you Thought about it before?

3) Where would we do it?

4) Top or Bottom?

5) How many times?

6) Position(s)?

7) rough or soft?

8) Lots of foreplay? or get right to it?

9) More than one person? Or have me all to yourself?

10) what do you think it would be like if you could?

Put your head on my shoulder (music meme thingy)
RULES:
1. Put Your itunes, windows media player etc on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name

How would you describe yourself?:
- Ozzy Fudd

What do you like in a guy/girl?:
- Play My Game (DDR Ultramix 2)

How do you feel today?:
- It’s Electric (Metallica)

What is life's purpose?:
- No More Words (WWE: The Music, Jeff Hardy’s Entrance)

What is your motto?:
- Slither (Metallica)

What do your friends think of you?:
- Other World (The Black Mages/ Final Fantasy X)

What do you think of your parents?:
- Outside (Staind)

What do you think about very often?:
- Taco Grande (Weird Al Yankovic)

what is 2 + 2?:
- Paradox (Final Fantasy XIII-2)

What do you think of your best friend?:
- 3 II 4 (Mokshya – We The People)

What do you think of the person you like?:
- Creeping Death (Metallica)

What is your life story?:
- Dark Black Forest (Steve Rhyner)

What do you want to be when you grow up?:
- Shots (LMFAO Ft. Lil John)

What do you think of when you see the person you like?:
- Healing Vision (DDR 5th Mix)

What will you dance to at your wedding?:
- Memories for the Future (Final Fantasy XIII-2)

What will they play at your funeral?:
- Last of the Wilds (Nightwish)

What is your hobby/interest?:
- She Drives Like Crazy (Weird Al Yankovic)

What is your biggest fear?:
- Big Yellow Taxi (Counting Crows)

What is your biggest secret?:
- Malchik Gay (T.A.T.U.)

What do you think of your friends?:
- Shut Up (The Bloodhound Gang)

What will you post this as?:
- The Unforgiven (Metallica)

Comment on this journal and I will answer these questions about you.


1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Tell you my least favorite thing about you.
8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

I do not remember who I took this from. But it was kind of fun.


From now on, you can’t tell lies, are you ready?
- I don’t lie any ways, but sure.
Think back eight months ago, were you single?
- Yes, Very single
What do you carry with you at all times?
- Cell phone, Wolf Necklace, iTouch

Are you a cuddler?
- I am, I love to cuddle

What would I find if I looked UNDER your bed?
- Carpeting, I have no bed frame

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you text messaged?
- My Sister

How are you feeling?
- Indifferent

Is something wrong right now?
- I’m sure there is.

Are you mad at someone?
- Not at the moment.

How much do looks matter to you in a guy/girl?
- A little. I like an average girl that is evenly proportioned.

What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
- I heard from my long distance friend today

How many TRUE best friends do you have?
- Four or Five

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
- Plan on it or not, I know I won’t. I have been sleeping less and less

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
- I don’t think there is a female in my life who hasn’t brought me to tears, and recently

Where is your number one friend on your friends list?
- Uh… I don’t understand this question

Do you have anyone crushing on you?
- I never have been, nor will I ever be, Crush worthy

when was the last time you talked to your most recent ex?
- I have not talked to her since I moved back to WI in 05’ and I never intend to talk to her again

Do you sleep with the TV on?
- No, I am a radio/iTunes person

Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
- Not really, no

Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
- Bathroom floor, no

Are you jealous of someone right now?
- A few people yes

Where is the person you like right now?
- Another City, Another County, Another State, Another Country, Another Planet, Another plane of existence. The point is, she is not here with me.

What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
- A breath mint

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
- Writing, or painting

What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex's body?
- Eyes and smile

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
- Yes when I was very young

Could you handle a long distance relationship?
- I have a hard time with the few long distance friendships I have, because I cannot be there for them when they need me. I don’t know how well I would be able to handle not being next to a person I loved.

Could you cry right now?
- Not really

Are you okay with the life you live?
- No, I know I was meant for much more then this

Did you enjoy your day today?
- No, I am sick of working my ass off on my day off

Do you have a tattoo?
- Yes

Would you ever get any piercings on your body, other than your ear?
- I did, I have my tongue pierced.

Ever had a song sang about/for you?
- No

What was the last thing you spent money for?
- Dinner last night, Chinese Buffett

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- My best friend “Dah”

Do you call it fall or autumn?
- Fall

11:11… Make a wish?
- *Closes eyes and does so*

Honestly, who makes you happy most of the time?
- My good friend “Just”

What were you up to at 9pm last night?
- Watching “Real Steel” Awesome Movie!

Do you hold grudges?
- Some times, depends on the situation

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
- I have been awake for three weeks straight

What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
- Who am I to judge them? If they are happy let them be.

Who was your last text from?
- My good friend Rich

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
- Quite a few times

One thing you’re looking forward to?
- The future

Are you shy at first when it comes to meeting people?
- Yes, very

Has anyone ever called you sexy?
- No, never

What colour is your camera?
- I do not own a camera

Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize?
- Never

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
- Some times

Are you wasting your time on someone?
- 98% of the people I come in to contact with

Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to?
- Haven’t we all

By the way, what is your name?
- That is for me to know and for you to find out.

Are you currently in a relationship?
- Not in over a decade

Do you give out second chances too easily?
- I do

What color is your favorite hoodie?
- It was slate blue, I wore that thing till it fell apart

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
- It’s been so long since I kissed someone I wanted to that I can’t even tell you who my real last kiss was.

Rules: Copy/Paste into your response area and answer accordingly.
Then paste it in to a new journal for your self and I'll answer it.

AM I...
[] Cute?
[] Funny?
[] Oblivious?
[] Amazing?
[] Sexy?
[] Weird?
[] Annoying?
[] Addicting?
[] Inspiring?
[] Scary?
[] A bastard?
[] Selfish?
[] A sweetheart?
[] A disturbance?
[] A good friend?
[] Your best friend?
[] The reason you get out of bed every morning?
[] A failure at life?

HAVE YOU...
[] Cried from missing me so much?
[] Laughed at me?
[] Wanted to hold me?
[] Wanted to kiss me?
[] Wanted to slap me?
[] Tried to avoid me?
[] Thought about me?
[] Had a dream about me?
[] Gotten mad at me over something silly?
[] Thought there might be an us?

DO I...
[] Make you smile?
[] Make you laugh?
[] Make you sick?
[] Make you sad?
[] Make you blush?
[] Make you lol at how retarded I am?

WOULD YOU...
[] Carry me?
[] Kiss me?
[] Hug me?
[] Make out with me?
[] Make me watch something with you?
[] Take advantage of me?
[] Snuggle with me?
[] Cry on my shoulder?
[] Slap me?
[] Shake hooves with me?
[] Sleep in the same bed with me?
[] Instant message me/text me?
[] Talk to me on the phone?
[] Dance with me?
[] Slap me on the ass?

You and I are...
[] Enemies
[] Complete strangers
[] Acquaintances
[] Friends
[] Best friends
[] In love
[] In a relationship
[] Engaged
[] Married
[] Aliens

ARE YOU...
[] Glad you know me?
[] Gonna ask me to be yours one day?
[] Afraid of me?
[] Gonna ignore this?
[] Gonna pass this on so I can fill this out for you?

Be honest

I know Christmas has passed, so I hope everyone had a Wonderful day weather you celebrate Christmas or not.
I know all of you are going to celebrate New Years. Me I got to work.
So Please, EVERYONE, Have a happy and SAFE New Years.
Please call a cab if you get to drunk. It is far better then all the alternatives.