It's been a very long time since I've poked around here!

I have since discovered a bunch of things about me!

I'm a long dragon now~ My Twitter has most of my up-to-date stuff there lately (or feel free to poke me on telegram too, I have been popping on a bit lately!)

I suppose I could post some of the art I've gotten here of my dragon if anyone is interested!

Also, I go by she or her more often than not, but I don't mind if you want to call me what you knew me as before!

I miss poking at folks to see how they are! I had to withdraw inside myself for a very long time to figure some things out and what/who I wanted to be~ It took a very long time of soul-searching and thinking through who I am, and not just what I was doing to make others more comfortable! I was also just working constantly and trying to make ends meet and focusing most of my life and energy on that, coming home exhausted - I'm realizing work is work and I can't sell my soul to it, even though I do put myself 200% into anything I do, I don't have to let it rule my life. I need to make time for friends and fun!

Honestly, it's no excuse. I should have made time to poke around and see how everyone was doing, to check in with everyone, to make time. I don't have any real excuses. I am sorry, and I hope to come back and say hello in some small ways.

I know it's been years for some, my gosh... if anyone is interested in connecting again, I don't mind at all, but I would understand if you also don't wish to.

I often obsessively think about how what I do will effect others, it's a small by-product of having abuse growing up (not that it is an excuse!) and I'm realizing it's okay to like what I like and be who I am, and that I don't have to force myself to make concessions for others to make them happy~ I'm still a bit fragile internally, but I've come quite a long way from what and who I was before, and I'm glad to say hello to you all again after far too long. I had a lot of my own growing up to do, I won't just run!

I hope you all are safe and well!

Best wishes!

Sershia Katze

I'm not apologizing anymore. Everyone knows I'm sorry and it doesn't matter anyways because the situation isn't going to change.

I'm absent.

Yes. I'm not around online nearly as much as I used to be.

I can't keep apologizing for it though. If you know me, if you care about me, and if you have taken a real true glimpse into my life, you know that I'm hard at work trying to make ends meet, rising up at work, and live in an apartment with some awesome fuzzies who let a guy relax and unwind after getting home out of energy after a hard day of work.

I spend more time at work than I do it home nowdays, and when I am at home I'm usually just utterly exhausted, sleepy, or occasionally finally logging online like right this moment.

I have to work hard to support myself, and there are things I still want to do, and payments I still have to make. I'm not going to be one of those furs begging for money, I'm going to just not be around and work my ass off until I've paid it all back.

That's all there is to it,

Business Sergal activated,
Little time for relationships,
Will do what I can,
Love y'all,
Sersh Ani

I just reg'd, going to be booking hotel asap, and going to be suiting at RF!

I hope this year I can be brave enough to try and sing and see what that does for me..! I love singing, some tell me my voice is alright!

I'll be there with most of the same peeps I have on my front page, Syynx, Yoru, Carien, Cody, Dise, Ookitsu, Tae, Spyn, and other wonderful lovelies that I'm sure I'm missing!

I'm very excited, hope to see any/all of y'all there!

Maybe next year or the year after I can plan to Sergalsuit, too ;>

Anyone else going? Any plans? FUN TIMES AHEAD!

This year...

...Let's try things differently, shall we~?

I'm going to reconnect with people I had disagreements with in the past.

I'm going to make right what I can, and I'm going to try once more with someone I loved deeply and still love.

I'll also be potentially trying to get a new job in the next few months, depending on how this assistant manager thing goes at my current job. I need more money to finish my psych degree so I can at least start a therapy practice for people, online, offline, locally, or otherwise. That should help with funds and helping people in the local area cheer up.

It should also make it easier to work towards a full career that isn't sapping my life-energy with no days off and no time for friends, family, or loved ones.

Also new icon with Cody.

Yeah.  Enlus did an absolutely fantastic job at our new icons,  Codebean and I got icons and they look great together hahaha

 Enlus

I have been looking for 'em to open commissions for icons for a bit now, and they finally have! Can't wait to sport my new icon!

Excited, you really should go check out their stuff!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVB2mXCTbNs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnoz5uBEWOA

Songs.

This is how I vent. If ya know me deep enough, you know when I'm upset, struggling, or just trying to get through a rough day, I'll sing. I fucking love singing, I love it a ton, haven't been able to do it much lately.

Haven't been able to do much of anything lately, keep having to put things off that I really want for smaller mundane things that are less important, like my minimum wage job eating up all my time.

But I want to do so much more.

-=[LOVE]=-

I've tried so hard in the past to be there for the ones I love and to shower them in gentleness, kindness, fondness and care.

But it never seemed or seems to be enough.

I can rant all day long about how much I love someone, but apparently unless I shower them in gifts, and throw money around, apparently it's just words.

What has happened to love? Where has the effort to feeling it gone? Do people even know what it feels like anymore? Or are they just in love with the idea of being in love, and don't know what it means?

I have exs who tell me they hate me, or treat me like garbage - and yet all I can do is feel sorry for them, feel guilty, miss them, and CONTINUE loving them. Because I DID love them. It wasn't a fancy, it wasn't some online BS or IRL fling - I felt something more than myself with them, and I took them into my heart.

Am I the strange one? Is what I feel love, and what they feel a fancy? I don't know. All I know is that, what I feel, this thing that happens when I think I fall in love, it never ends. No matter what they do to me, put me through, drag me into, or prove how little they care. Once you're in the club in my heart (very exclusive one) you won't be leaving it. You're a member for life. I will always love you, and miss you, and hope things for you are going well. Even if I'm lashing out and pulling away because of some pain, I do care, I do love still.

I just wish I could find one that feels the same towards me, that holds on, where things don't change, grow apart, and we're ready to get together and stay together. I guess I'm.. ready to settle down? Hahaha..!

-=[EFFORT]=-

I work my ass off at my job, 6 days a week, 40 hours a week (lately it's been on average more like 46 hours per week) and in a year I've climbed the ranks incredibly rapidly. Now I've been guaranteed Assistant Manager position, and I'm already reaping some benefits and rewards from this.

But my god am I exhausted. I work my tail off and do what I can, but for a while there I would work, come home exhausted to relax for about 2 hours, just to go to sleep to start the whole process over again. It was consuming my life, and I never had time for myself, for my friends, or for my loved ones. Let alone the fandom!

For a while it was just utterly defeating. I was feeling myself grow more and more depressed. I was drinking every single day for weeks on end. Then one day, it all just ended. The clouds parted, my "trial" was done, and now things are looking up. It's funny, too. The drinking stopped in a snap, as well. Once a week now is maximum how often I do it, and things are really turning around. My next goal would be able to mentally/emotionally/physically handle work, starting school again, and my loved ones/hobbies.

Luckily, lately I've been able to relax, and enjoy myself more, do some things I wanted to do. Which leads me to my next few points...

For example, I'm starting Let's Plays and Streaming soon.

That's right. In an effort to get myself back into gaming, particularly to finish games once I start them, I need to feel responsible and obligated to some fashion (not like a job, just a little extra kick or drive to finish that overdue game, or etc) and so I'm starting a YouTube channel where I'll be a voice as I play many games (Looks like to start, it'll mostly be Horror games!)

I've been wanting to do this for a long time. I bought a really decent keyboard (no excess noise, hopefully) a really nice Blue Yeti Mic, and a really great Logitech G430 Headset. Set up a really big screen TV in my room beside my computer, and I have a huge list of games I had been collecting for a while to start this (Most of which I had not even loaded yet, just so the feelings would be real when I start recording~)

The only struggle I'm having is what sort of voice/video capture software to use. I am trying to use the paid version of Fraps, but watching the video again, it cuts out sometimes (not the audio, just video) and occasionally the video itself starts seeming to lag (it seems like maybe it's the player? I don't know.). Someone linked me to Open Broadcaster Software, and I'm curious about that, but I'm definitely open to suggestions. I want my first few things to be up by next week!

3DS Friend Code!

0662-4532-8957

That's my friend code~ Please be my friend!

I really adore both characters, but I need something a little more serious and a little less goofy for a Fursuit in the long run. Something that looks ****ing amazing and I put tooooons of time into.

So I was wondering which of my characters. Some of you might have seen me pose this question on Twitter after RF14 this year (By the way, was absolutely freaking awesome, and I stayed in suit 10 of the 12 hours I was there each day).

But what should my next fursuit be? The one that gets all the bells and whistles and detail? The thing I really pour my heart into!? If I got the Sergal, by the way, I'd probably add a few more dots to his body to go with his sort of mildly dotty ears and feet. Maybe tail and chest. Just a few tasteful ones. Also would probably do something with his tongue in the suit, if possible. 6/2

Anilothei the Sergal:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10614930/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14485502/

or Sershia the King Cheetah:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12061448/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14371383/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/14371354/

What are your thoughts? Thanks!

That's right, as of two days ago, I am officially a fursuiter.

I will upload a few photos of it, but mostly this account is for my arts and keeping in touch with loved ones and such.

I will hopefully be attending 2 to 3 cons per year and will be fursuiting as my bunny at each of them. (At least until I can afford another fursuit.. King Cheetah or Sergal, maybe? Bwahahaha...)

So I will see you WA furs at RF 2014!!! Feel free to give me a hug! I'll be the caramel-and-cream bunny!

Pics soon!

RF2013 was REALLY FREAKING FUN!

I got to meet some artists and got a few things from them, got to play cards against humanity with a massive group of furs, and got to see loved ones and hang out and have a good time, dancing, laughing, eating, or otherwise.

It was overall such an outstanding event, and I can't wait to go next year.

However, next year...

I'll be wearing a bunsuit (bunny fursuit) ;3

I've already been in contact with some amazing suit makers and I'm in the process of getting an estimate and getting them the first bit of money required, and after I have deposited money and/or paid it off, approximately in about 6 to 8 weeks, I should have a fursuit.

So hopefully, around/before Christmas, I should have a bunny fursuit from an amazing group. I'll let you all know who's doing my suit after the deal has been struck, and papers signed!

I'm so freaking excited!

The next con I'm planning on visitting is TFF, hopefully, to see more family and friends there!

By then, I should have my fursuit! Which would mean I'd be bunsuiting at TFF! I hope to see some of you there!

And to everyone I got to meet at RF2013, you all are freaking amazing, and that was SUCH A BLAST!

RF2014, CAN'T WAIT! WOOOOOO!

I'm being all philosophical on Twitter, lately!

Two things I tweeted recently.. one of which was a song quote/lyric...

"Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday."

and a more serious one, based on an event that happened to me that touched me...

"I saw a raven cawing alone today. It was cold, and rainy. It felt so lonely, and there was no reply. But.. two more flew up quietly. Just because they didn't reply.. didn't mean they weren't there, prepared to land beside their friend at a moments notice."

Which is true. I saw a lone raven, it was so very bleak seeming. I watched it, it watched me - all from a distance. It cawed a few times, with no reply. A few more. Then a few more. I was growing very weary, watching and listening, finding myself thinking "Don't I know it..?". But then two more, I didn't hear, didn't see previously, came from somewhere else, and landed beside it. Just because they weren't noisy, or there are this ones side all the time, didn't mean they wouldn't be there when it called.

It's weird, but it kinda touched me I guess. Fun, interesting, but crazy - how we can find the answers we're looking for if we just give life the time to reply.

RainFurrest

I'm going. Hope to see some of y'all fuzzies there. Some others better not be there to spoil the fun though! That just ain't no fun! Gawsh!

More Bunny Art!?

I'm getting paychecks ;3

Which means money for a fursuit, and money for art stuffs. Sorry to flood you all with bunnybutt in advance! ~<3

I got a job.

Mostly working closing shifts, it's a pretty awesome/epic job, I make pizzas - it's ****ing awesome.

Below will be my budget and what I'm aiming for per month and such.

Going to works nao. See you guys latez.

Wow so work wow bune cook wow gracefull

BUDGET OPTIONS:
Projected income every month – work 25-30 hours a week, earn 9.19 (minimum) (Looking more like I'll be working like 6 days out of the week, minimum 6 hours a day, more like 36 hours a week then, but let's just see)

Total Minimum Earned per Week: $229.75

Approx. 4 weeks per Month: $919.00

About $396 (317 [basic rent/5] + 40 [Split] + 25 [Utilities for rent] + 14 [Internet]) leeway up to about $419: $500 remaining (True number: $523)

$300 for budgeting and eventual purchases (Suiting: http://www.clockworkcreature.com/gallery/, Loved ones visitting): $200 remaining (True number: $223)

$100 for Art: $100 remaining (True number: $123)

$100 (True number: $123) remaining for Gas or playmoney per month.

I got two new icons of my bunny, and I will be using them a TON! F5 to see the new icon!

They were done by the outstanding  baebunny and I could NOT be happier!

One is my bunnies head rotating at the speed of exorcism, and the other is the icon you see around with the character swaying their rump! I asked for two bae originals, and these are ones I'm exceedingly happy with receiving!

Now, I've also received my finished Faralynn (Gryphon) art, and I intend on putting that up shortly, as well!

On to some other news and thoughts.

Hex TCGMMO has been something I've been looking forward to for a long time, which is why a loooong while back, I bought into Cryptozoic's Kickstarter page and paid some money to their efforts.

I play, or used to play, a ton of TCG's - Magic: The Gathering, Jyhad (vampires, yay!), Yu-Gi-Oh!, .Hack TCG, World of Warcraft TCG (Cryptozoic made this one, too!) and many, many more!

Now, they reached their goal by over 700%, and have been working their rears off to give us everything they had hoped to. While this was going on, another Kickstarter Project, known as The Doom that came to Atlantic City was going on multiple years of struggle and not seeing any great progress, despite being massively over funded, as well. It turned out more recently that the main individual from a company known as The Forking Path and an individual known as Erik ended up cancelling the project, and explaining that they would try very hard to refund everyone that backed them, but it was not looking good int he least.

This story has made me swell with joy at having chosen my first kickstarter to fund myself (Hex) - because they are coming along very nicely, and are already a company that gets things done. The reason I bring up TDTCTAC is because, thanks to Cryptozoic, it went from a sad story to more of a successful one - all thanks to Cryptozoic.

It turns out, based on my knowledge, that Cryptozoic is coming to try and do what they can to save the game (not the company, just the game) and do what they can to get the game made, copies sent to backers, and see what they can do to help the backers get what they can (this doesn't mean the kickstarters should not receive their refunds, or that Cryptozoic is paying for all the content that was promised or etc, but it's a pretty badass thing to do) for everything they were promised - but it just goes to show how fucking amazing Cryptozoic is as a company. They turned a dream into reality, where otherwise there would be only ruin.

I'm proud to say I backed Hex TCG and Cryptozoic, based on the type of amazing company Cryptozoic is.

Finally, My move is starting to settle, things are starting to calm down, and I'm not utterly losing my mind.

Also, I live with an artist now, pretty badass guy named Syynx, and hopefully he can give me pointers and such here or there, perhaps haha - I'm planning on picking up a paintbrush RIGHT NOW, ACTUALLY! Bwahaha.

But, I've put out applications for multiple jobs, I have a backup plan, and I know the area a little better. So I'm getting settled in my new home, with my new life, in Washington! I'M NOW A WASHINGTON FUR! WOOT! So, things are looking up ^^

I'm getting back into my groove of everything.

I'm getting into the groove of playing LoL again, helping bug test and doing the duties as a volunteer for Riot.

This also means I'm getting into the groove of chatting more with people again, I still need to move once more, and get a job here now that I've moved, but I'm open to tons of chats again, so feel free to hit me up any time you feel like it.

Also, I'm going to be trying to help people with therapy more often lately. I really want people to feel good, it's a flaw I have perhaps - but I can't stand seeing others hurt.

Here's a little of my story. When I was younger, I was abused a lot. Not just family, but the kids at school, and etc. I let everyone walk all over me, which opened me up to bullying me and beating me up and taking advantage of me a lot. I'm not complaining or whining, just facts - it's my past, it's a part of who I am, what I went through, and helped shape me. I don't have any regrets, and I'm not looking for sympathy.

The reason I explain this about my past, is that it should make much more sense why I want to help others. No one, ever, should have to go through life feeling alone and afraid, feel like they have no other option but the big S word.

No one should have no one, or even think that they have no one.

So I'll always be a someone for everyone.

Understand that I get busy, that things come up and I randomly have to afk, and that I'll have a job soon and that will eat up some time. If I'm good enough, I'd like to help out wherever I can. Feel free to talk to me.

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

Hit me up through notes, Skype, twitter, anywhere. I'll listen, and offer a compassionate, sympathetic, empathic heart.

Stolen from:  Bram-Diabolus

Joker
[ ] You have a dark sense of humor.
[X] People often tell you you're 'crazy', 'weird', 'a freak' and other words to that effect.
[ ] You like wearing bright colors even if they clash.
[X] You don't tend to make a lot of sense.
[ ] You are self-obsessed.
[X] You will do anything for a laugh.
[ ] You can't laugh at yourself very easily.
[X] You're smiling a lot of the time.
[X] You are intelligent.
[ ] You like to be the center of attention.
[ ] You enjoy the work of the Marx Brothers.
Total: 5

Two-Face
[ ] You are a Gemini.
[X] You seem to have two sides to you that different people see
[X] You have taken revenge on a bully.
[X] You have/had a burn or scar or something similar visible for over two months.
[X] You believe in chance and fate.
[X] You tend to be paranoid.
[X] You consider yourself unattractive.
[ ] You feel no one can truly like/love you for who you are.
[X] You have trouble making decisions by yourself.
[ ] Blackmail is a completely acceptable method to use in getting what you want.
Total: 7

Penguin
[X] You love birds.
[X] You consider yourself a complete gentleman/lady.
[ ] You have/had an overprotective mother.
[ ] You always keep an umbrella in your bag just in case.
[ ] You are always dressed smartly.
[X] You were/are bullied in your youth.
[ ] You consider yourself obese.
[X] You have a lot of connections.
[X] You want to work with animals in some way.
[ ] You want to run your own nightclub.
Total: 5

Scarecrow
[X] You like to scare people.
[X] You have a reclusive nature.
[X] Your life is ruled by research/work.
[ ] You are scared of birds.
[X] You are tall and skinny.
[X] You take/have taken psychology at school/university/college.
[X] You feel your parents were loveless towards you.
[ ] You were born out of wedlock.
[ ] You used to pick on animals as a child by hurting them or scaring them.
[ ] You have/had religious fanatics in your family.
Total: 6

Riddler
[X] You love puzzles and riddles.
[ ] You have red/ginger hair.
[X] You have OCD.
[X] You are quirky.
[X] You consider yourself a 'smooth talker'.
[X] You are an intellectual.
[X] You get high marks on your texts/exams.
[ ] Most of your body is covered in tattoos.
[ ] You seldom win in physical fights.
[X] You complete computer games with ease.
Total: 7

Mr. Freeze
[X] You prefer cold weather.
[ ] You want to be cryogenically frozen.
[ ] You have lost a loved one to a terminal illness.
[ ] You go/have gone to boarding school.
[X] You are a loner.
[X] You go all out to hurt someone who hurt you.
[X] You would do anything for the one you love.
[ ] Winter is your favorite season.
[ ] You have poor blood circulation.
Total: 4

Ra's Al Ghul
[X] You are manipulative.
[X] You would love to get rid of everything and start the world again from scratch.
[X] You want perfect environmental balance.
[X] Science is/was your favourite subject.
[X] You consider yourself a spiritual person.
[X] You consider your age to not be an issue.
[ ] You want a son.
[ ] You keep yourself fit
[X] You want to live forever.
[X] You see the world as decadent and corrupt.
Total: 8

Bane
[ ] You consider yourself as physically strong.
[ ] You go the gym a lot.
[X] You have an addictive personality.
[ ] You have been to prison.
[X] When you were younger, you had a teddybear that you took everywhere.
[ ] You had a classical education.
[ ] You have/had nightmares involving bats.
[ ] You are violent.
[ ] You do not explain your actions.
[ ] You have a Mexican heritage.
Total: 2

Clayface
[ ] You like B-Movies.
[ ] You want to be an actor/actress.
[X] You are a good liar.
[ ] You make sculptures.
[ ] You enjoy the work of Boris Karloff.
[ ] You have had plastic surgery.
[X] You have been in a car accident.
[ ] You hate remakes.
[ ] You can't swim.
[X] You reference films all the time
Total: 3

Killer Croc
[X] You were born with a medical condition that affects your body on the outside.
[ ] You were/are raised by a member of your family that wasn't/isn't your parents.
[X] You enjoy your own company.
[X] You have quick reflexes.
[ ] You enjoy wrestling.
[X] You are a good swimmer.
[X] You can run very fast.
[ ] You grew up without your mother.
[ ] You enjoy circus sideshows.
[ ] You are muscular.
Total: 5

Black Mask
[ ] You come from a well-off/wealthy family.
[ ] You had an accident/serious injury as a child.
[X] You hate hypocrisy above all things.
[ ] Someone has broken up with you in public.
[ ] You are accident-prone.
[X] You consider yourself as unlucky.
[X] You are determined.
[ ] You enjoy films like Turistas, Wolf Creek, SAW and Hostel.
[ ] You like to intimidate people.
[ ] You want to be the top dog.
Total: 3

Ventriloquist/Scarface
[X] You are meek and mild.
[ ] You want to be a ventriloquist/have a dummy.
[ ] Your favorite film is Scarface.
[X] You like gangster-related media and/or clothing.
[ ] If you could live in any time, it would have the 1920's
[ ] You tend to verbally abuse people.
[ ] You have a speech impediment.
[ ] You let other people take the blame rather than yourself.
[ ] You call your nearest and dearest 'Sugar'
[ ] You have an Italian heritage.
Total: 2

Mad Hatter
[X] You are shy.
[X] You have/had feelings for someone who didn't feel the same.
[ ] Alice In Wonderland is your favorite book/Disney film.
[X] You love tea.
[ ] You have a lot of hats.
[X] You have been called delusional.
[ ] You are immature.
[X] You identify more with children than adults.
[X] You sometimes have trouble separating reality from dreams or your imagination.
[X] You like to rhyme.
Total: 7

Man-Bat
[X] You love bats.
[ ] You are deaf or have hearing problems.
[ ] You want to be a scientist.
[ ] You tend to think illogically.
[X] You feel comfortable in the dark.
[X] You are instinctive.
[X] You love fruit.
[X] You wish you could fly.
[ ] You have a strong family life.
[ ] You are married.
Total: 5

Ra's Al Ghul is highest with 8, tied for second closest are Two-Face, Riddler, Mad Hatter

That was certainly an interesting one! I guess that suits my psychological background? Though you'd think that'd be more of the Scarecrow, I guess.

Hey everyone

There's the possibility of a free sketch-page over here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4600903/

It's gotten pretty massive, but I think it's a free opportunity to get a beautiful piece of art all for very little work.

You all should head over and check it out.

TOTES STOLEN FROM  lovingangel

Male side:

[x] You love hoodies.
[x] You love jeans.
[ ] Dogs are better than cats.
[ ] It's hilarious when people get hurt. (not too badly though)
[x] You've played with/against boys on a team.
[ ] Shopping is torture.
[ ] Sad movies suck.
[ ] You own an X-Box.
[x] Played with Hot wheels cars as a kid.
[ ] At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[x] You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[x] You watch sports on TV.
[ ] Gory movies are cool.
[ ] You go to your dad for advice.
[ ] You own, like, a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] You like going to football games.
[ ] You used to/do collect hockey cards.
[x] Baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[ ] You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[x] Sports are fun.
[x] Talk with food in your mouth.
[ ] Wear boxers.

Male Points Total = 10


Female side:

[ ] You wear lip gloss.
[x] You love to shop
[ ] You wear eyeliner.
[x] You have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x] You wear the color pink. (sometimes)
[x] Go to your mom for advice.
[x] You consider cheerleading a sport.
[ ] You hate wearing the color black.
[x] You like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] You like wearing jewelry.
[x] Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] You don't like the movie Star Wars.
[ ] You are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[x] It takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] You smile a lot more than you should. (yeah way too much)
[ ] You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] You care about what you look like.
[ ] You like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] You wear girl underwear.
[x] Used to play with dolls as little kid
[x] Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] Like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Female Total Points = 16


Well, this only happens to confirm a few things to me >.>

There is a reason I have the femboi tag in my groups! ^^;; yeesh!

I have postive things to say (kinda? It's more like a warmth from me to you!) and negative things to say (it's just a little admission to stuff that's been bothering me and stuff that has been on my mind lately when I see certain peoples profiles that I used to talk to daily in the past (whether years or months ago) and I'm upset and wanna vent it out)

The negative stuff is the first segment! The positive (or more warm, I guess?) stuff is the second segment! Separated by lines! You can skin the bad, or skip the good, or skip both, or read both. Doesn't matter to me! Enjoy!

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THE NEGATIVE:

I'm cutting some of the fat from my life.

People claim to care, claim to love you, or trust you, or want to be a part of your life, and then they just never really talk to you. Maybe a few hugs and kisses, a few well wishes here or there, but they're never there during the hard times, they're not even there during some of the best times.

They're just absent. These people aren't friends to me anymore, they're acquaintances. I still care about 'em, but I can't be expected to put out the effort all the time.

There's plenty of people in the past who add me, and I warn them I'm a busy individual, have essentially two jobs and other things I'm working on - and I have rare spare time, especially until I finally move out in a week or two, and they say they understand, they'll message me occasionally.

They don't. Once or twice, make excuses, and don't really message me. I try to get out there and message people I haven't spoken to, but after a few one word responses or little "*snuggles you up*" a few times, it feels like I'm just wasting my time.

I'm not gonna name names or anything, and I'm sure most of you reading this actually give a ****, so this is likely not referring to you.

Also, listen, I'm not trying to be dramatic, these are just the facts lol. I'm getting sick of having 20+ chats open on Skype+MSN Combo (the new one, since MSN is gone now, and I've merged my accounts) and some of them are just "*snuggles*" "*Snuggles back*" "How are you?" "Okay" 4 hours later "Gnight" and then its done. I mean, what even is that? Hahaha... I dunno!

Not to mention the people that used to call me son, brother, sister, mother, father, family, or otherwise, and then they just don't have time for me anymore. They don't care enough about someone they claimed was close enough to be loved like family to even remember me? Put me on their page of fake family? Chat me up? Text me? Twitter me? Aaaaaanything? Bah humbug, it feels like it was just flowery words of a day long past.

And listen, I take my fair share of blame, I haven't been around for a few months because, as I said previously, I'm working like 2 jobs, I'm flooded with things I have to do at home, when I have a spare moment I'm always trying to just relax and unwind, and so I don't get around to texting or messaging those that I should, and I'm sorry.

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POSITIVE STUFF:

I love you guys. You know I love all of you, regardless of the good, the bad, or the ugly we've had in the past.

You know I'd do anything I could for any of you, that I want you to be happy.

I'm moving out in a week or two, gonna finally be able to be my own furry gay self. This means more voice chats if I can, more artwork practice (Furry stuff, YAY!) more singing and perhaps even trying to take piano lessons (maybe I can become a furry singer? lmao, I'm nowhere NEAR good enough, but it'll be fun) I can try to be more creative, try to be more of myself.

I can commission more art, hang more art on my walls, not be afraid of being who I am.

For those of you I met or got to hang out with at Texas Furry Fiesta - my first con ever, thank you for making the trip one of the most memorable events in my life. You guys got me hooked, I have the FurCon bug, and I'll be looking forward to going to plenty more.

I'm getting more in-depth with playing and working on bug-testing for LoL, and I'm finding out our program will probably end up being a major program in the coming months, along with the Wrenchmen program. So that's good that I earned myself that position.

I'll be sending Game Grumps around 10 to 12 games in the coming few days, with a few notes and kind words, so you might get to see someone with a fancy alcohol-related name pop up in the beginning of one or two of their games or something. It'd be either my brothers name, or mine, or both. (Out of 12 games, I'm not expecting them to play them all and it be good enough for Grumps action, and I'm expecting they may have some of these games already.)

I appreciate everyone being patient with me through my depression the past few weeks, losing my uncle, watching his little girl crying on his grave, me drinking a ton, family being pretty cruel to me lately, just everything dragging me down, making me feel like I'm worthless and not good enough, and you guys stuck with me through most of it. It means more to me than you'll ever know.

I love you guys, and you all mean so much to me.

So, you may have noticed more art lately, oh yeah, gonna be getting more of that. You should (once I move out) start seeing more traditional art that I make myself pop up on this page as well. Hopefully a chapter or two more of the book that has been on hiatus. Hopefully I'll get hired by a gaming company, but if not, I can work on Nursing. I love healing people, or bringing people joy. So nursing or gaming, sounds like a victory either way.

I completed my first ever REAL job when I got laid off at the end of being a Ski/Snowboard Instructor this last month. It was pretty disheartening to see the snow melting and know my time was almost up, but they loved how hard I worked and how much I devoted myself to the job. I wasn't there to have fun, I was there to bring a smile to children and little kids faces and make sure they learned something. I'm proud to say they promised me a position if I come back next year (but I'm moving ;.;) and they practically promised me employee of the month the first month I come back if I stay. I had a few letters of recommendation from them, as well as a few customer feedback cards that said I was absolutely amazing. That was really nice to hear, and feel in my heart.

Let me think, anything else... hm...

Oh, I should be getting art of a Gryphon named Faralynn (Fara for short) within the next few months, and a ref sheet/more art of my Sergal in the next few months. Now that I'm moving out, its time to finally be myself!

You should come visit sometime! I plan on going to plenty of cons and getting a fursuit of my bunny (or my sergal?) soon though.

Love you all, thanks for reading!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That's everything! I know, it's massive, but it's stuff I've been compiling in my head and heart for the last few months.

Love you all <3

P.S. I figure this would be a funny time to say all of this, considering what tomorrow is ^^

0360

That's right. I am freaking 0360. WIN! WINSAUCE!!!

Yup. Mick39 gave me a sergal number finally, and I happened to get 0360!

Must post my submission of my number tag soon >:3

-Ani

Totally ninjaed from the awesome  Sirsnapsalot

Key:
x - Yes
XX - Hell yaw.
empty - No
- - N/A or Hell Naw.

SCHOOL CONFESSIONS
[x] Talked back to a teacher.
[x] Been kicked out of a class.
[-] Worn your pajamas to school.
[x] Had your tooth fall out during school.
[x] Gotten yourself lost in your school.
[x] Broken the dress code in your school.
[x] Completely and utterly failed a test.
[x] Left your class without asking anybody.
[x] Missed a whole week of school for something stupid.
[] Thrown up your lunch in school.

HOME LIFE CONFESSIONS
[x] Argue with your parent[s]
[x] Argue with your brother[s]
[-] Argue with your sister[s] a lot.
[x] Do your own laundry.
[x] Cook dinner once in a while.
[-] Are loud and obnoxious at home.
[x] Wear pajamas when you are not going to go anywhere
[x] You sleep in very long.
[XX] All you do is watch television/go on the internet.
[] Your parents are divorced.
[x] Your family makes you cry a lot.
[] One or both of your grandparents live with you.
[x] You can't stand being with your parents.

FRIEND CONFESSIONS
[XX] You currently dislike one or more of your friends.
[x] You are jealous of one or more of your friends.
[x] You have known a friend your whole life.
[] Your friends are all taller than you.
[XX] You have been ditched by a friend.
[x] You have memorized a friends phone number.
[x] You have lost/forgotten a friends phone number.
[x] You have been to most of your friends houses.
[x] You love most of your friends. (even if they treat meh like crap sometimes [the RL ones])

HABIT CONFESSIONS
[x] You bite your nails.
[] You have an odd obsession with knives. (I might, if I had knives)
[] You cannot sleep with the door closed.
[XX] You cannot sleep with the door open.
[x] There is at least one sound you cannot stand.
[XX] You write stories about mad cannibalistic serial killers. (omg lol, go read Shade Chapter 2 in my submissions)
[x] You are good at telling lies. (with my parents, I have to.)

LOVE CONFESSIONS
[XX] You currently like/love someone.
[XX] You want to kill one of your exs. (I wish terrible things on them, but I couldn't kill someone)
[-] You can't stay committed for an unusually long time.
[-] You get bored of your crush/bf/gf easily.
[x] A crush/bf/gf has called you self-centered before.
[XX] Your ex has dumped you for another person. (See 4 questions above)
[-] You don't want a gf at the moment. (I have a boyfriend?)

PERSONAL OPINION CONFESSIONS
[-] You hate George Bush. (I seriously dislike his policies but how can I hate someone I haven't met?)
[-] Abortion is horrible and should be illegal. (I believe in individual choice, I can't have an abortion, so I can't have an opinion on what doesn't involve me?)
[XX] Gay marriage is fine by you. (Well... y'know... x,.x I'd really like to get married one day.)
[-] Boys make better friends than girls do. (Most of my best friends are ladies! We check out guys together? Online, not offline.)
[-] Pink is an ugly color. (Heyl Naw it's not)
[-] Needles aren't so horrible. (Needles make me a little worried.)
[x??] Human flesh tastes like fine aged veal. (Omnomnomnomnom...)
[XX] You have plenty of secrets. (Most of them not because I want to)

"HAVE YOU EVER" CONFESSIONS
[XX] Fallen up the stairs. (Haha, yes, it was hilarious too. Almost bit my tongue, DID hit my jaw)
[XX] Had your shoelaces tied together. (Toldja my real life friends... lol?)
[] Had a nail fall off.
[x] Captured, Manipulated, or Destroyed a soul. (manipulated a soul, I regret it, kinda. They started it? lol?)
[x] Slapped someone across the face.
[-] Killed someone.
[XX] Worn something inside out for a whole day

Key:
x - Yes
XX - Hell yaw.
empty - No
- - N/A or Hell Naw.

Right now, I'm writing poetry and stories, trying to make everything I do more furry, and actually getting really into my pastel drawings.

Has anyone every let anyone else know that Pastel is extremely messy? I knew. It's partially why I love it so much, sometimes, when it gets messy, it takes on a life of its own and a beauty you couldn't have dreamed of creating.

For example; Some of my pastel pictures, for example, my Goldenwolf Window and my Ant pictures that are currently up both come out of the frame. Window was on its own, Ant was a bit more planned (though not at first), it really feels a little like its coming out of its frame in its own way, and takes on a life of its own.

Anyways! Making art now. If I can find my camera and make something decently furry, I will absolutely post it.

It'll be my furst real furry artwork (Ha, ha, ha, see what I did there? Goodness I'm terrible...)

Hope it turns out well enough for me to actually post it!

Thanks for reading, and hello again after a HUGE leave of absence, everyone! :3

Not that anyone will read this for a few weeks haha! Hopefully I'll be able to make some actual semi-decent furry art, either way!

I'm feeling especially happy to be alive and happy to be graced with friends such as you all... ^^ so...

I figured I'd say, "I love you!" to everyone that see's this. I dun care who you are, I love you. :3 Deal wiff its.

<3

So the college I wanna get into isn't accepting anyone til next Fall... over 6 months away, and so I came back home! No point paying rent when I'm not even doing anything productive!

This means.. that in 3 months, I promise -

-To have at least 2 new yiffy stories.

-Hopefully another chapter or two of my real book.

-Perhaps I'll actually draw another 3 pictures, and like my GoldenwolfenWindow, I'll take as much time as needed and draw out as many details as possible, and perhaps, just MAYBE there is some sort of artist inside meh!

Here's to hoping! Glad to be back for a while!

Ohs... and since I'm back, this means I can prolly voice-chat more often.. for some reason people like to hear my goofy, "I'm sure you must be female with that voice.." sort of vocalizations.

Anyways, catch yahs later! Hope to see you all more often!

P.S. Oops! I forgot to mention that it took a ridiculously long time, but I've finally settled on a Fursona! Zomg, I know, impossible, and you're taking bets how long I stay this one.. but I've been an Otter for like a month now, and I'm lloovviinngg it! Unlike other Fursonas that just eventually felt like I grew bored with 'em, this one is fun!
*Whisker-wriggle* Bai!

This totally blows! I miss you all so much, and I can't get on that often to see you all or chat with you all because I'm rooming with complete homophobes. This totally sucks. If I get found out most likely I'll be thrown out. OY!

But this is mainly just to remind you all that I =do= actually miss all of you and want to talk and stuff, I just wish I had more time to myself. Bah, College T.T...

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to mention, I'm actually working on humanoid like figures now. Currently a demon type character from my story/novel I'm trying to write. His name is Daien, and hopefully I'll have a drawing of him eating the orb from the corpse of the mage he battles.