I don't really have the guts to talk to anybody one-on-one, so... Yeah. This will be the State of the Shark Address.

Hello, I'm Ferello, Another resident Abomination, and I'm an alcoholic.

It's nothing new for me to be posting a status update after an unexpected hiatus, but I'm pretty sure it is my first time to really explain it. I've been drinking. A lot. I used to drink a bit when I was stressed out, or when I wanted to make a day that was particularly shitty better, but in the last few months I've been drinking a lot more than normal. Considering I've always been a lightweight, a six pack of beer or a good chunk out of a bottle of vodka each night hasn't left me with much time to coherently socialize. More than that, I've been feeling bad about not talking to the few people that I feel something of a kinship with, and have decided that I probably can't deal my issues without help, without actually telling said help what they're doing for me... So, I'm going to be away for a bit longer.

I'm going off with my family and my sister who's fresh out of rehab on a much needed vacation and cruise to the Caribbean for the next month or so. While I haven't told any of them yet what is going on with my life, I feel like a supervised retreat with my mum will do a lot of good. I don't think I want to be completely sober for the rest of my life, but this is costing too much in money, and destroying the time that I think would be better spent elsewhere.

So... Yeah. Everybody I know has an idea on what I'm working with now. I can't with an honest heart wish anybody a long and happy life, so: Death, Destruction, and Chaos to all, and to all a better Halloween than mine.

Just gonna do some shuffling with my pictures, since sometimes images get deleted by their creators and I suppose I can't just keep using my favorites to reference pictures of Ferello or any other OC I've got a hankering for art of... In case anybody who might be watching my doesn't like spam or seeing the same images repeating, I sorry. Kinda.

Anybody I've commissioned, I try to remember who did what piece of art, but if I miss you feel free to note me and I'll put some credit down!

I can't draw for shit balls, but I like to think I'm a half decent writer. If anybody feels like helping me out with proof/alpha reading, I just submitted chapter one of my story involving Ferello. Its about 28 pages of drunken bullocks, so any pointers, suggestions or criticism is welcome.

It went on like that for hours. He wasn’t driving anywhere in particular, but taking routes that wound through the city without more than a stop-light’s pause. She talked. All of the divine as witness, she talked. But his demeanor never changed, exception for the expected acknowledgements. At a few points she paused and watched him, but he did little else but drive and look at her through the corner of his eye.

“So that’s it. You just want to watch the world tear itself apart?” Eleniel finally asked as they stopped in a service station’s parking lot. Ferello nodded, looking at herself in the mirror as she considered the implications. “Fine, wait here, I’ll be right back.” He exited the car and entered the station with the anxious shark still sitting and watching, digging for any sign that he might be turning her in. There was none. He came back with two packs of cigarettes, old-style soft container without filters, strips of tobacco leaf filling the paper. To her surprise, he passed one pack to her.

“Now what? Going to turn me in to the Staties?” she scoffed as she slit the pack open with a blade that had been sheathed within one of her robotic arms’ fingers. He didn’t smile at that one, just looked at the windshield in front of him while he scratched the other pack open and pulled one of the lumpy cigarettes from it.

“No, I’m interested. I’ll drop you off at your place, say the jacket was lost, but…” he places the stick between his lips and reaches for a lighter, taking a drag before finishing his sentence; “I want to see where you stop. If you stop.”

She looks at him incredulously for a moment. Taken by surprise would have been an understatement. “I tried to kill you… And you want to let me go?”

“Yeah, sure, why not? Not like you’re much of a threat to me, fish-breath,” he smiles. The first look of real amusement he had since she sat down to drink with him. “Besides, I’m tired. It would be too much of a pain to take you to the pen and lock you up.”

Ferello smiled back, confused, but not displeased. She got his jacket, his badge. That alone would make the time pass much, much quicker.

Not doing super great though. Work's been keeping me down, and most of my daytime thoughts have been devoted to how I could get away with killing my chewtoy (boyfriend).

Sucking it up and keeping going though. Only forty more years until retirement and I can go out with one hell of a bang.

And missing a Favorite, which is bugging the shit out of me. Does anybody who watches me know what artist may have quite/deleted their stuff and brought one of my commissions with them? Everything that I have as a favorite or gallery entry is saved in duplicate and I don't appear to be missing anything from my cache, so I've been frying my brain trying to figure it out...

Other than that, keeping sustained on rage and caffeine. Nothing beats depressing like good old fashion ANGER.

I'm alive. Just doing stuff. Working at the same time as my chewtoy now so free me-time comes at a premium... Mixed blessing, right? Haven't made any progress on my writing. Or my savings account for that matter... Started chantix though, so hopefully that means I'll have more spare change in the future.

Still think I need to get a character sheet done so future commissions are less painful to describe. Somebody should point me to a person who would do that for pseudo-mechs.

I was sober for most of the week-before-last, so I think I'm doing alright. Got drunk every night since, HAH!

For anybody that's interested in my actual writing, I'm planning on starting that up again in the near-future, but not immediately because I'm not sober enough to type anything beyond a few run-on sentences. For everybody that isn't... Well, I've started writing a bit on my scraps in a per-chapter basis; it's not worth much yet, but I'm hoping to dig up the motivation for it to become something eventually. Maybe a comic string if I feel confident enough.

To all the people I've started watching since I started up on here... You people are fucking awesome. To all the people I haven't started watching yet... I might later; I'm trying to keep my watch list semi-light so I know who I'll be trying to hit up from commission when the IRS STOPS TAKING MY MONEY BACK.

---

And now for the really interesting side of things; I've woken up with a sudden and barely-constrained urge to reach over and tear my chewtoy's throat out with my teeth three days out of the last week. Which is weird, since he hasn't done anything wrong. My most recent dream ended and had me waking up in the middle of pinning somebody down by their throat and punching the everloving fuck out of them and I am genuinely surprised that I didn't wake up on top of him in the same situation. Can't picture their face or what led up to it, but it's enough to make me wary of giving too many hugs in case that urge rises.

Anybody else find themselves in that situation? I mean I know I'm at least leaning toward the sociopath side to begin with, but I think most people just look at my like I'm fucking crazy and not just misanthropic.

Might be an alcoholic. I remember being sober last week.

One commission never to be completed, I begrudgingly accept the loss of fitty dollah.

One commission in the future, half-paid.

One chapter complete, chapter two intro complete.

PS4 in the eventual future, NVLink in the more-eventual future.

Seizure and anyurism possible.

I'm so angry I could vomit fire on a puppy.



That is all.

Also, thinking of the jumpscares from FNaF makes me love the fact that Ferello is a mechanical horror.

12:30 Friday night, actually finished chapter 1. Chapter 2 will be coming in the eventual future. Maybe. Going to post a public release for this part of "Not an Antihero: A Shark Story" (working title) when the mini-comic commission is finished. :D

Wants something like https://thecynicclinicblog.files.wo...../03/tomoko.jpg (origurl https://thecynicclinicblog.wordpres.....ategory/anime/) for the battle shark because oh so fitting. Still half-assedly trying to fit together a story for canon, but not most than half-assed. Half a chapter so far. Never gonna finish.

Waiting on commission works. Cen and Rayne did great, and were johnny-on-the-spot with keeping me up to date on the arts... Hell, Toxic had it finished in about an hour. @..@;
Positive side, way above par on my pocketbook. Negative side, went to the hospital last week for an overnight stay, so my "new car" fund is going to be pretty much drained as soon as the bill hits me. That's life though, right? Dumb luck costs two or three grand?

And your monopoly of peer to peer payments... Well, I got it working at a sacrifice to my personal dignity.

Also, slowly working my lazy ass up to actually writing again. I've finished one page. Awww yis.

Honestly, I feel like I'm looking in the wrong places in SL for arts. Oo I just can't bring myself to adopt Paypal again just yet after they started asking for TIN and other information that I'd prefer not post anywhere on the interwebs, even over a secure portal...

Also, if anybody knows somebody who can do some sketch-work for weaponry, please yell at me; I'd actually like a piece of art to better describe the battle shark's cannon.

My birthday just a day past, I'm on a search for arts. One commission in progress, one completed, trying very hard to not blow all of my spare money on beautiful/awesome things.

If anybody's seen me Watch them, there's a good chance that I'm going to poke you about a commission after I get some reference pictures together (and post the commissions I've already garnered).

Thanks for your interest (if you are interested Oo )!