Yeah, it’s been a year since I made a new journal, so I thought it’s time to make a new one. I think I’m 27 now (oh god) and doing okay back to school for my final semester hopefully. Feel free to pop by my telegram to say hi, “@appledectomy” or join in the Macro/Micro group I host
https://t.me/Macro_Micros
Thanks on advance for the love this year ❤️❤️

Well another new year and my Birthday! I’m 26 and god this feels weird!!!
I cannot believe the last two years have gone by so fast, very weird and this Bday should just be full of work sadly. Maybe after I’ll prob grab a slice of cake and look to next year to more

I thank all you people for watching and talking with me, and here’s to another year of improvement!

So, it's November and we're still waiting for the election results. The world is in chaos from COVID-19 and everyday seems to get harder, but we push through, finding ways to keep in contact with friends, meeting new ones and saying goodbye to some we thought closest.

This year is a MESS and I say we strike it from the record and hopefully move onto a better tomorrow, a president who won't demean my friends lives and a healthier outcome. I've just been put into quarantine for COVID, my close coworker has contracted it and I'm worried for him, thankfully he seems to be doing well and I'm positive for his recovery! New York State says I have to wait till the 15th to go out and live in this new normal, only a few hours in and I'm writing a journal, something that no one seems to read.

My FA friends and furry buds are getting along well, though I've been distant with work, missing pals and when I do, I seem to over power the sexual tension, and I'm having a hard time controlling it, hope we can hang out one day and it'll help alleviate the issue. Some friends though have grown distant, my closest friend, in furry and irl, has just ditched me, no reason why, no outlook to see if they ever reach out. I feel betrayed and while it hurts time to time, looking back on the relationship, maybe its the best. I look back and I feel used, my lent equipment not doing so hot, the last convo we had was paying him back, even after he owes me for so many things, then silence. I think its time to cut it loose, though I feel alone, no one friend I can see in person often.

Shit sucks and thankfully we have two months left in the year, hoping that 2021 brings out bright spots and we can work together to help rid COVID from this world, though seeing the pro Cheeto people aiming guns and more, I'm worried, the world is a scary place, even after Halloween has passed...

P.S. Sorry about the downer post, just that kind of mindset, I miss my friends, I miss cons and being able to hug a friend

P.S.S. Don't be a stranger, I'm often on telegram appledectomy (prob a lot these next ten days)

P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S.P.S. Flamm is a good kitty, you should follow them on Twitter NotFlamm

Borrowed from  Sylox

What day are you getting there?

Tuesday July 3rd

Where are you staying?

The Homewood Suites, same as last year

How are you traveling?

Driving there, for the first time, with  PopDroppy and  SquirrellyJay Road Trip Woot!

Who will you be rooming with?

At the Homewood with the two awesome fellows above along with  Dragolord and  Tyrnn

How can I find you?

Feel free to telegram me at Appledectomy or follow my Twitter, I'll also be hosting Vive and VR in the game room

Are there any panels you might be attending?

Have to go to the Macro/Micro Meet up, because bigs and smols are fun

Will you be suiting?

It's up in the air, may have my suit in time, if so, yes, a lot!

What is your gender?

Male

How tall are you?

5'6"

Can I talk to you?

Please do! I don't bite

Can I touch you?

Hmm, ask first plz but I'm happy to hug sweet peeps

Can I buy you drinks?

Don't drink sadly, but maybe we can hang

Can I give you stuff?

I mean sign me up!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?

Permission required

Are you nice?

I try to be, be nice to me and I'll be happy to hang

How long are you going?

July 3rd - July 9th

Will you be going to parties?

Def the Macro party, where ever it make take place

If I see you, how should I get your attention?

AppleD, or Appledectomy should get my attention

Can I take your picture?

Sure, just make sure to get my good side x3

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?

We'll see whats going on, but I'd love to hang

Can I look/draw in your sketchbook?

Please, I appreciate all pieces of Apple

Do you do free art/trades?

Hmm, I don't know what else to offer

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?

- Hopefully suiting
- Hanging with my fav peeps
- Showing off VR
- Celebrating two special squirrels birthdays

Woot well it’s time for a new journal I guess to recap 2018 so far and take stabs at the future. So far 2018 has been a mix of good and bad sadly, with more fighting and depression. Good news, I’m working on becoming a better person, less jealousy and cutting back on bottling all the stuff up. My friend, awesome artist as well,  Popdroppy has been helping with everything, and we’ve been hanging out irl. We’re going to be going to Anthrocon together and I couldn’t be happier I’m going to show him the con. I’m currently working with some fursuit makers and getting Apple turned to a big goof, don’t worry if I need pupils I got big googly eyes.

Attended my first Vancoufur with  Corvidius  reograyfox and  Brothen those guys made it amazing and really lifted my whole Con there, can’t wait till I go again in 2019, working on a video for it right now.

As for art I got a few artists in the line up to get pieces from, but I’m in need of good ideas and possibly some shared pics, if you wanna go halfies on a pic together I’m all ears, I mean it, you see these gargantuan things x3.

If you want to talk I’m always on Telegram and Twitter, got are open to convos and I’d love to talk to everyone and get to know ya. Plus if you haven’t already check out my Macro/Micro SizeUp (18+) chat, we’re a friendly bunch and would be happy to meet everyone, big and small. t.me/MacrosMicros

I just want to finish this journal with positivity and well wishes. A big thanks to the awesome and fantastic  Tyrnn and again  popdroppy without these two I don’t think I’d be strong enough to keep going, seriously two of the greatest people I have the pleasure of knowing. There are so many more people who I love as well and will share
 Burropaleta
 Leon_Valen
 dragolord
 sean_the_squirrel
 kenta_nakamura
And just so many more...

Everyday gets sadder, every time I drive I think of how best to end it all, music no longer cushions my mind from these dark thoughts that have gotten more prevalent. I look to others profiles and cry at the lack of mention of me as a friend, each day gets worse, every conversation gets sadder, every update is more and more ghastly. I don't want to live anymore, the things that gave me joy no longer do. I can't make art, I've lost love for writing, my happiness zapped these days. Is it depression, who knows, maybe I'm just worthless and this is a sign. Would anyone care if I left, would anyone miss me past the occasional art I get with people? I think no, I think everyone would move on fast... I mean I'm not anything special anyhow, just some ugly elephant, no one likes those, from what I read anyhow. If this is what the rest of my life will be like, why continue, why try, when it all crashes back down again. Everything I try fails, every time I'm alone or off work I don't want to live, I don't want to wake, hell I spent the whole day lying in bed, not able to think of anything to motivate me up. I'm just as good as a tissue, a one time use to help and then worthless.

Where are you staying?
Crowne Plaza

What day are you getting there?
I’m getting in the the 29th around 12pm, around the same time of my roommates. Going to get there early to get con set up going.

How are you traveling?
Taking plane from New York, wasn’t to bad for a ticket.

Who will you be rooming with?
Gunna be rooming with the awesome  sean_the_squirrel and a few others, going to get a lot of groceries too, save a bit.

What is your gender?
Male

How tall are you?
5'6” but still looming

What's the best way to find you?
Easiest way to find me is send me a message on telegram appledectomy I’ll also be at the macro meet up most def. Outside of that come find me in the gaming room for VR.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
VR in the gaming room and def the macro meet up, will hopefully have lots of fun extras

What do you look like?
Long Dirty blonde hair, mustache and goatee, prob in crocs.

Will you be suiting?
Sadly don’t have my suit yet (AC 2018) but I’ll be there to help others, maybe a dino suit.

Do you do free art?
Ehhhh I may try but I’m a bit rusty.

Do you do trades?
i mean inquire but idk if I’ll have time.

Can I talk to you?
Please do, I’d love to meet everyone out there and have fun.

Can I touch you?
I mean you can try but I touch back with 10x more force, be cautious.

Can I buy you drinks?
Cherry coke, but no alcohol, honestly I’d rather grab a drink together and talk

Can I hug you?
i mean if I get to know you and it doesn’t feel awkward, I’m game

Are you nice?
I try to be, if ya feel I’m being a lil mean, let me know

Will you be going to parties?
Yes, as long as I’m allowed, I love to come to a party and have some fun

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Say “hey, Apple”

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Depends if it’s busy or not, but yeah let’s munch together/

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
I’d love it, I appreciate any lil things.

Can I take your picture?
Hmmmmm, I mean I don’t think I’m photogenic, but give it a go.

What are your goals for the con this year?
Have fun, catch up with friends, make a growth ray, help macro activities, show off VR.

Hope I see ya there and we get to hang, hope to hear from y’all soon

Where are you staying?
The Renaissance, three blocks from the con

What day are you getting there?
I'm getting in on the 2nd at 8:30am

How are you traveling?
From a car to a train to a plane

Who will you be rooming with?
No one atm but maybe sharing it with friends overcrowded

How is the best way to find you?
I'll be wearing sport shorts and crocs all the time, they're comfortable shut up

Are there any panels you might be attending?
My first time attending a con so I'm just looking to hang with my peeps and maybe party but suggest any good panels below

What do you look like?
Got some dark blonde hair, hazel eyes, light skin, prob in a t-shirt with maybe a badge

Will you be suiting?
No fur suit, yet!

Do you do free art?
I mean maybe I'm bringing my iPad with Apple Pencil, and maybe some Tilt Brush VR :p

Do you do trades?
Maybe I draw for you and you for me in my iPad

Do you do badges?
Not at the moment

What is your gender?
Male, I'm very simple

How tall are you?
5'5, everyone's soooo tall :(

Can I talk to you?
Sure I'd love to talk, but I am a bit shy so I may not talk loud

Can I touch you?
Uh, only to shake hands, maybe some patty cake if you're good :p

Can I visit your room?
Ask, may depend on whom I'm dealing with

Can I buy you drinks?
If you'd like nothing alcoholic cuz who needs beer with friends :p

Can I give you stuff?
Yes, as long as it doesn't tie me to a crime and even then maybe

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Maybe a hug, kinda a germaphobe but its really specific

Are you nice?
I try to be but I'm shy IRL, don't worry I don't bite eating whole is more fun, lol

How long are you going?
From the second of July to the 4th

Do you have an artist table?
No

Will you be going to parties?
If its with friends sure will

Will you be performing?
I mean I may dance and do voices, cuz letting loose

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just shout AppleDez there you at, for sound like a sane person just say "Hey Appledectomy."

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
IDK there so much to do, but I think I may gravitate around  theFandox

What/where will you be eating?
Anything that is not to expensive, may splurge for friends

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Yes as long as you're not stalking me with a metal knife, plastic ones only, sorry :p

Can I take your picture?
Sure, I'm not the most photogenic person but anything for polite peeps

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
To get to know  theFandox ,  Sean_the_Squirrel ,  Dialuca01 , and just generally get to know the whole fandom. I also want to see about attending more and getting out there to be friendly. I hope this will be really fun, BTW may bring something cool to AnthroCon, but locked up in the castle :p

Check out  kit 's VR sculpture (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19907761/) in Google Cardboard and Samsung VR! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X92.....mUEMaSdh9f74Wg)

Going to be streaming VR @ https://picarto.tv/appledectomy I invite everyone to come down and join the fun, I'll take suggestions and maybe kaiju game

Only 24 hours downtime, now to drawing butts :p Life lesson, always buy the 2 year warranty it's cheaper than replacing the screen once, $600!

Streaming over at picarto.tv/Appledectomy

Just dropped the bugger so drawing is off until I get it fixed, shouldn't be too long, luckily today I'll receive the Vive so be on the lookout for a stream later today.

I'll be streaming Monday April 25th, I'll be using TiltBrush and may be playing some Kaiju games like Maximum VR.

You heard me i'm going to stream over at https://picarto.tv/Appledectomy

I have a set up to stream, but I don't know if I should. I'd love any tips from anyone and if people are interested I may start sooner rather than later. My account is at Picarto https://picarto.tv/Appledectomy . I'll give a heads up if I do stream, so keep an eye out