My little bro just sent word to me mom got out from "under the knife". She's stable... And they removed the mass in her pancreas... We just now need the damn thing's biopsy and for her to recover... I don't know if it's too early to still be happy or relieved...

She also apparently needed blood... My Bros, step dad and a family member said they'd donate... I just hope THAT doesn't cause any problems...

She was admitted and transfered last night to the hospital that I hope, knows what it's doing and can save her life... She'll be operated tomorrow but I feel like this this all taken too much time...

The operation is not easy... And neither is her condition... But she sends her THANKS and God bless all the people wishing her good luck...

Mom's results came in... They are not good...

She has a mass on top of her pancreas... It's somehow connected to her bloodstream that it caused her to turn yellow... But I already knew her skin color could be that or something else...

We don't know if this mass is cancerous or malignant... But the doctor said it not good... Either way she needs to be operated NOW... But at a hospital that knows how to do this... Because if this mass doesn't take my mom's life... The operation might...

I don't know how to prepare for this...

I'm back at the same hospital that mom was in after her GI parálisis... When she left home last night her eyes were YELLOW... and are some of her other body parts... I know what that could be, so I got actually worried...

I'm gonna be here for 12+ hours this time, but with no comfy room or bathroom...

Mom is stable, but we are still waiting for her results...

Last night the power came back to a portion of my urbanización. Every nearby neighbor was overjoyed, me too... But let's be real, this won't last long or stay ON like it was before the hurricane. Chances are it will fluctuate as repairs are made and such... Or as power plants lose fuel because in case no one read my previous Journals, my entire home island is running on power generators and fuel, something it was NEVER meant to nor prepared to do.

Either way... I'm just glad that for NOW, I can sleep with a fan or AC and use my laptop for entertainment... Still no luck with the Internet. I'm currently am baking myself in the sun as I type this outside the house. The Internet from my cellphone Company is weak and only has signal outside.

That being all said, there's still the estimated 4-6 months to restore power to the ENTIRE island. Or keep it stable.

I'm not in it because I'm sick or hurt, I'm keeping my mom company because she's the one in trouble.

She's been having issues digesting food... Or just eating ANYTHING in general. Anything she ate she vomited, and she was burping a lot, and it smelled rotten... Turns out she had her GI (gastrointestinal) paralyzed by an infection.

Either way, she doing better now, but I'm not sure how long I'll be here. I can't really complain much though... There's somewhat stable internet here and all the AC I can handle. (We all know how cold hospitals can be)

UPDATE - Seems like we won't be here long after all... And I prepared for a long night. My mom just got the OK from the doctor to leave. We are both waiting to have her surgical stuff removed and for someone to pick up their phones. With communication still a problem here after the hurricane, cellphones are pretty useless...

I thought I'd say more about how utterly fucked things are here... And how I lose more hope on humanity with each time I listen to the radio... This is the WORST DISASTER to ever happen here... And people are being assholes...

Chaos - the first few days after the hurricane the entire island was in chaos... And It's STILL in chaos. Looting, ransacking, robbery and MURDERS... All for food, water and anything else. A woman single handedly kill 3 robbers who were stealing from here store with a gun. Everyone who has heard this says the same: "good, they had in coming". We should be helping each other... Not fucking each other over.

I wish I could ask for people to send me stuff via mail, but it will be for nothing. People are stealing care packages sent from the USA to here...

Economy - is DEAD and non-existent here. We Lost EVERYTHING. We are slowly losing live stock as well because we no power... The thing my entire island runs on. Things have started to skyrocket in price here... 30-80$ for a pack of batteries...

Communication - I'm lucky to even be sending/editing this... Because ALL communication here was dead for days. It didn't help that some assholes stole parts like copper from antennas, further delaying EVERYONE from using their phones.

Corruption/Greed/Misinformation - the radio and media are constantly talking about how we either:

1-dont have the $$$ to rebuild the things we desperately need... ELECTRICITY and that our own government is just lying and whatnot. Even if we have the money, the debt will be in...

2-Donald Trump wants to help us. Then he does NOT want to help us. This is all because of his stupid tweets.

3-in only 3 weeks, we still have LESS than 10% power restored. News says we are even back to 0% due to... God knows what the fuck.

Long story short... We are all here in need of HELP...and it's neither coming or reliable enough...

The net I have is unstable and using my phone for this sucks... So long story short, here it is.

Me: I have ample food and water. Only lost a shrubbery.

Family: lil bro lost everything in a flood, minus car and some tech like laptop/phone.

My home island: Is incomplete darkness. 11% of power for the ENTIRE ISLAND has been restored, 50% of water has been restored. (comes and goes here)

Recovery: the power estimated to come back in 3-6 months is due to power lines fallen over and/needed to be BUILT FROM SCRATCH. the island is running on power plants and gas... It was never meant to run as such nor prepared for that.

It's estimated that Puerto Rico will need 1-2years to recover from this

Surviving... Power estimated to come back in 3-6 months...no Halloween or Christmas for us...

The power has gone out at the time this journal was made. Now to endure an estimate of weeks without power... Or water... Heavy rain and winds... and Who knows what else.

As some already know or may not know, I have another hurricane I have to endure because... Why the fuck not?

Maria seems hell-bent to do what Irma couldn't, and to make things worse the bitch is probably gonna go right through where I live. (Not just the middle of the island)

So yeah... There goes my plans for this week out the window. Don't expect to hear from me for weeks... Days if I'm lucky.

Things got worse and scarier. Maria hit category 5 and people are already abandoning their homes because of the waves.

I'm still here. The bitch just did a bigger number on my internet-down time than anything. In case no one saw it already, I did a small "journal" about it here --> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24769623/

I like to consider it a small reward for the people who showed support in the last journal.

The bitch already knocked out the power here. It doesn't help that my cellphone was being a complete cunt when trying to write this and that Irma got closer to where I live.

I almost never do this, because of personal reasons... but I'm doing it this 1 time just because I felt like it.

My friend  omni-aura is open for commissions of all sorts. He helped me flesh out a little more some of my own character, who I have dubbed "My WoW Ladies/Trio".

His commission info --> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/24366290/

My "WoW Trio" as done by him --> Kimkee The Pudgedaren - Zabaska The Light-swollen Paladin - Kurse The Size Challenged Worgen

For the well wishes and such on the last journal and on my birthday. I hope that KARMA, the GOOD kind, visits you all. A few of my friends know that I'm a strong believe of Karma, the good and the bad, and today was really (maybe, probably) the work of "her". (If Karma has a sex)

Mom took everyone to eat at a place that serves mostly things you'd eat on my home. (I had Octopus-stuffed Mofongo)

We then went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Deadman Tell No Tales. Similarly to how the World of Warcraft expansion with Pandas and stuff got me to like Oriental things, these movies got me to like Pirate-themed stuff.

I guess today was more than OK.

as of 11 minutes ago, I should be 29 years old now.

I've been having a really tough and shitty week despite the positive disposition on my screenshots... it's 1 of the few things keeping my mood from sinking.

Either way, as usual I don't expect any special treatment on this day other than Mom taking me to a fancy restaurant. I wish things were better to be honest. I hate knowing there's BS to be dealt with on what should have been a special/OK occasion. I'm not talking about my birthday only, but other "big moments" or "soon to be hard" moments like your last and final semester of University. (shit like that)

If I had to use music to describe how I feel right now, it would be this.

Lately I've been thinking about getting a PC, a GAMING PC, now that I have my own room. Thanks to a friend, it seemed easy enough to the point I was excited and confident about this idea, but now I really just have my doubts.

Things are so bad here that even having a fancy-pancy degree/diploma wont land you a job. People are literally being lazy about hiring others or don't want extra mouths to feed. Although money is always an issue no matter where you live, that's honestly not what worries me about TRYING to buy/make a PC. I could in theory, get around 350$ for it, which according to a friend is more than HALF of what it could cost me to get a "build it yourself" PC. The problems I see/have however, are as follow:

1) Needing more $$$ for extra things like a monitor (which I MAY have one to use) and a desk small enough to fit in my already small room. I'd really hate to use the plastic table and chair I have right now, which are BARELY passable as a "work station".

2) Not knowing anything about PCs to put one together. I can only hope it's not as complicated as I think it is or that 1 of my bros will know something about it. I know there is the internet, but call me stubborn or whatever, I just don't trust it to know EVERYTHING or show me the things I'm looking for 100% of the time.

3) Convincing mom and/or anyone at home to either help or that this wont be a waste of time and money. Not having a job in case things go south certainly don't help.

4) Not being used to using a PC for the things I usually use a Laptop for. (Gaming) I've been playing MMOs for over 10 years that I'm worried the transition to a bigger, non-moveable/removable keyboard will be awkward or hard. I know this is something stupid to get worried for, but to me this is basically like having to drive a new car (rental maybe?) that is more chunky, and its harder for you to judge if you're close to the sidewalk or not. (That actually happened to me though)

Other than that, I guess money is still the biggest issue, even if I can manage to get around 350$ in THEORY. So yeah... it's either get something I really know I can get some use out of, or play it "safe" and buy a Nintendo Switch, which I'm not all that desperate to get after all the "flaws" and problems I've read about it.

It's not every day that you realize/get told that you have been SLOWLY KILLING YOURSELF WITHOUT KNOWING IT. That's the case for this journal and the odd title.

For the past 3-5 days, I've felt a strange feeling on what I can only describe as the "bottom of my lungs" whenever I turn on my AC. This wasn't immediate of course, but I would feel this, and have slight trouble breathing when I would stay in my room with the AC long enough. Thanks to a friend he shed some light on this and it was obvious... I was slowly KILLING MYSELF with "Freon".

I'm not a rocket scientist or anything, so I didn't know what was going on, that Freon was a REAL thing (besides a super villain name in Champions Online) or that it could kill me. Even more so since the symptoms were subtle, the gas is odorless and I associated this with what I've been going through for the past 2 months. (more on that later)

So yeah... my friend potentially saved me from a "Silent Death", and now I have been forced back to my usual laptop-spot in the kitchen table, and sleeping on the couch... Why? Because even with the AC OFF, I wasn't feeling any better in my own room. I'm positive now the gas is leaking out with no input/help from me whatsoever.

The past 2 months

For the past 2 months, I have been helping out and essentially, working for FREE at a shelter/Veterinary for animals. I say "Free" but, I guess the "payment" is either helping animals and getting a grade in the end. Most of the time I come back home really tired, and I thought at first that combined with the cold air was leaving me winded or something. Turns out I was wrong.

I was bored, and today I just realized and/or got made aware who "Bergamo" is and how he has a simple design so I decided to do this.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/268225723469135874/296786180601806851/screenshot_2017-03-29-19-21-34.jpg

The reason I'm not submitting this as a screenshot to my gallery is because Im 99% sure its not allowed. I've seen people with screenshots that are 3+ years old and they haven't been taken down yet, but when I do it, the admins are all over my case.

Like the journal says, I'll spending it alone at home because I'm a bit sick. Our plan at home was to go to my step-dad's sister's house for an Xmas dinner, and even though I could have gone, when you're sick you just want to stay home and not go out.

I suppose that if I get technical about this, I wont be entirely alone. I'll have my 2 cats with me.

Thanks to everyone (again) for showing your support on this matter.

The power came back on at around 4:33 AM. You'd think a "little" blackout is no big deal... but this one lasted (where I live) for 3 and a half days AND it was island-wide. I could deal without internet or lights, but it's the HEAT that had everyone mostly upset. It's almost always summer time here, at day or night... and it doesn't help that where I live there is RARELY any wind blowing... or rain.

Thank you to everyone who showed some support on this on my last journal.

2 and a half days now with no power and trickle of water. Very few places around my home island report having power. My area is not 1 of them.

What annoys me the most is this bleeping heat... Every day is summer time here... even at night.I guess the other thing to also be annoyed is all the spoiled food we will have...

I just cant even right now. There is so much I want to vent about, but then SOME people will just have "fun" with that.

I don't want to go into details because I don't know them all, and I refuse to know them all because it's just gonna piss me off even more.

Long story short
Some one tried to KILL my middle brother last night, by ramming into his car because the fucking idiot thought my brother was following/stalking him?

He's almost unscathed and at home right now. I don't remember exactly what happened based on what mom told me, but at this point I don't want to know anything. He's alive, that's all that matters.

I didn't want to do this... there is probably TONS of journals about this already here... but I wanted to have a POSITIVE journal on my page since... I don't update it that often...


I just finished it... HOLY CHRIST... What an emotional roller coaster... I wont say much because Im still fighting back the tears... and confused as to what happened or what I did...


Yes the game is HYPED and "overrated" as fuck... people HATE and LOVE it... but deep down, Im a very emotional guy and I get sucked into games like this. I almost smashed my XBOX 360 controller during 1 part...


I dont want to keep sounding more corny by the text... But I feel as if all my anger got sucked out of me by playing. Yeah... leave it to a game to change your life, or to forgive those who have wronged you... or to try and become a better person...


Im emotionally exhausted...


...End journal...

I need HELP... For the past few days I've been getting pop ups and being taken to random websites whenever I do ANYTHING on my web browser. It's pissing me the fuck off and making my laptop slow...

I moved to Mozilla and got an add blocker for this bullshit months ago when FA started popping up adds on my face, but now I need to do it again? I don't know what to do...

To make matters worse, yesterday I got a message from my phone saying someone was trying to access my Skype account... And as soon as I got the message I got logged out. I already changed my password but is that enough?

To make things even MORE WORSE, I got an error message today while playing GW2 that another "client" was trying to log onto my account... I was lagging badly then got disconnected...

In all my 15+ years of using the internet I have NEVER been hacked... I'm starting to freak out...