Last friday I had to do the most hardest thing I ever had to do.. I had to say goodbye to Harry, my cat. He was the worlds best cat, everyone who met him instantly fell in love with him, and everyone who knew him are all aching right now.

He was by my side for 14 years, as my best friend, my guardian, and my baby.. The heartache I'm feeling right now is unexplainable..

I'm going to save up and get a commission done or something, of me and him, Harry curled up on my lap, or my snuggling him in my arms.. just SOMETHING in art form to help me keep his memory alive...

It's hard watching the other cats grieve too.. especially Freddie.. she won't settle at all at the moment.. she just keeps wandering around, trying to find him, even though we showed her Harry after the vets...

Oh god, Harry, I miss you so much..

Leaving for work shortly, FUCK YEAH! First day induction! =D

Also, I joined up on Feila, the RP website, it's pretty awesome, so if you're an RP'er, get there! http://twilightus.net/feila/index.php I'm under the username AmethystArrow, with the character Arrow Kilande.

Oh and.. Art will be here soon! Promise!

Hah! So, I DID say I would produce some arts, I'm wanting to do some art for Moskva, but where is her ref? WHERE IS YOUR REF  moskva ?! xD xD Love you really, hun! xD But seriously, do it. <3

Hm.. in other news, I'm going to draw more horses, because horses are awesome. So I'll probably start later today/tonight, if I don't find myself stuck to the screen playing a game or something..

OH!
I need a little confident boost, so if you could comment on this journal with what I draw well, and how I could improve certain areas, I would be greatly in your debt.

For giving me food poisoning..

...uck.

Okay, so leaving my latest submission out [Even though it has been favourited more than I expected! Happy!], I really, really need to start drawing more.. it's.. almost depressing that I cannot draw what I need to draw. I'm not talking about gift arts or trades.. but.. I NEED to draw. That horrible burning feeling when you feel the need to do something, no matter what! - 'Cept the part of my brain that actually controls the whole drawing thing isn't listening to the part that's screaming 'DRAW!', thus I need my muse to come in and connect them and..

... What the hell am I talking about? xD

Okay so, in my general day to day life, tomorrow it's my last day at my volunteer placement, as I start my real job on May 4th. I will be working in a Leonard Cheshire Residental home, caring for disabled adults, and sometimes children. Fucking awesome!!

Other than that.. uhm.. I might upload a couple of random photographs of my horseriding at the beginning of this year.. including the embarassing dismount image.. xD

So.. yeah..

...*munches on a cookie and wanders off*

Okay, so, I have two.. no wait.. THREE drawings in my head that I MUST do. These three people, ofcourse, don't know who they are so.. yeah. xD When will they be done? Who knows. But they will be done within the next month, hopefully.

And now I shall continue to omnom this delicious chocolate cake.

Guess who had a Job interview today? I DID!
Guess who got the motherfucking job?! I MOTHERFUCKING DID!

FUCK YEAH!!

I will be working as a support worker for disabled adults/kids in a residential home.

FUCK YEAH!!!

Day four of this chronic toothache, and it's seriously making me feel ill. And because of my phobia of dentists, it's taken me four days to realise I should REALLY go to one - but because of how my days work out, I won't be able to go until next week. ;__; Cursed wisdom tooth.

Also. No art? I know, I suck. I keep meaning to get on to it but.. I don't know.. I guess I've lost confidence in it all? I look at what I'm sketching, think 'FUCKING SHITTY PIECE OF SHIT!' screw it up, throw it away, and return to playing games. I suck at the moment..

But it's not all depressing crap!

I have a job interview next week for a residential care home for disabled adults =D I can't fucking wait!! I really hope I get this job. It's PERFECT for me.


.. But now I've jinxed myself and probably won't get it.. xD Oh dear, someone shut me up with some tea or something.

So I just realised my profile still said I was 18. Wow. I feel old now.

Hm. So I seem to be getting the whole creativity thing back, I think. Slowwwly getting there. xD

I also realised how much I SUCK. Tried drawing my anthro last night and realised.. I CAN'T DRAW HEADS AT ANY ANGLE OTHER THAN TO THE SIDE! WTF?!

.. I fail. Bad.

So, I've magically re-appeared again after... 10 months or so?

Crazy amount of happenings, I tell ye! If you're curious, just ask questions!

It could be like..

Arrow Question Time!!

Anyway, I came back because I really, REALLY need to get my art muse back, and this is this place that really brought it all out, because of you lovely people!

So, watch this space for any offerings of art trades and gift arts I'll do to help me keep on track.

Okay so.. LARP! HURRAH!

Live Action Role Play for those who don't know.

First event of the year and yay! twas awesome! But very muddy. Very, very muddy.

For those who don't know, my character is a half elf greater healer, and because i had a veteran pick for surviving last year i chose lesser mage, so now i'm a half elf greater healer and lesser mage. FEAR ME MAGICKS!

But yes, lots of fun and madness. I do have over 100 pictures from the event but i'm not going to post them all up.

But now I'm all ill. Come down with some sort of bug, so i'm pretty much bed bound for the time being.

Hello my lovelies and not-so-lovies,

I know I have been pretty distant from this place in the last couple of months. Truth is I haven't really drawn much lately. I have odd sketches here and there, but my drive for drawing as somewhat dried up.

BUT FEAR NOT!

For my crap art will be appearing before your eyes soon.

So, anyone else on the mmorpg? It's free and FUCKING AWESOME

And you can be a race where you're basically a furry! =D

*bounces*

In other news, Sorry I haven't been around much. Thankyou all for your lovely comments!!!

I promise some submissions soon!

Take care me lovelies!

Just had to spend another seven weeks in the hospital, but I'm back now! =D

=(

My Ferret, Mollie died the other day, leaving Millie on her own, and now my sister has taken Millie away. =( I miss them both terrible.

..

=)

I watched as my best friend gave birth to her gorgous little boy TobyJack [TJ for short]

AND things are going awesomely well with me and my new mate James Amos, been together now for over a month ^_^.

Stolen off  kazfox

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word. (twist is you cant use epic, awesome, or cool)
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? (no need to answer because ill send my half to you via note)

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?f.....deoid=48043845

Okay, I've already seen it when it was illegaly leaked online, but still, this is THE OFFICIAL TRAILER FOR THE MOVIE AND OMFG GAMBIT!!

GAMBIT!!

MOTHERFUCKING GAMBIT!!

AAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!

*is obsessed with Gambit*

Ofcourse, the only thing thats going to annoy me is that people are suddenly going to become fans of Gambit once they see the movie and be all 'omg i love gambit, im his biggest fan' when I have fuckin' read all the comics, plus his own comic book series, and even have his figurine! GAMBIT IS MINE, BITCHES! *foams*

...

okay.. xD xD Just...

Just...

Blame the medication.

Honestly?

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OrqbO.....itkitchen.com/

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cp3Wo6ZKUgk

Seriously, I don't know why, but i am crying from laughter and my sides hurt.

This amuses me to NO END!

Oh yes.

They discharged me on friday =D

Have to pop back in on mondays and wednesdays, and they come to see me on tuesdays and thursdays, but other than that..

I'M FREE!

Okay so I disappered from the interwebs for nearly three weeks.

Long story short - I was sent to the mental hospital.

At the moment I'm at home on an 'overnight leave' to see how things go.

Yes I spent my 19th birthday locked up in the nuthouse.

I may be discharged on friday. Fringers crossed,

I will try to catch up on all the comments ASAP.

Sooo my mouse has decided it will only work for me if I hit it. Kinky. which has gotten very annoying. So now I'm using my tablet and pen to navigate - which is annoying.


DAMN YOU FUCKTARD TECHNOLOGY [I love you technology <3[

YOUR BOY SIDE
[x] you love hoodies
[x] you love jeans
[x] dogs are better then cats
[x] its hilarious when people get hurt
[x] you've played with boys on a team
[x] shopping is torture
[ ] sad movies suck
[ ] you own an XBOX
[x] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid
[x] at some point in life you wanted to be a fire fighter
[x] you owned a DS, PS2 or Sega
[x] you used to be obsessed with Power rangers
[x] watch sports on TV
[x] gory movies are cool
[ ] you go to your dad for advice
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball hats
[ ] you used to/do collect baseball/football/basketball collector cards
[x] baggy sweatpants are nice to wear
[x] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think
[x] sports are fun
[ ] you sometimes talk with food in your mouth
[ ] you sleep at night with your socks on
[x] you have fished at least once
TOTAL= 18

YOUR GIRL SIDE
[x] you like to shop
[x] you wear eyeliner
[ ] you go to your mom for advice
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing all black
[ ] you like going to the mall
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures
[x] you like wearing jewelry
[ ] cried during The Notebook
[ ] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
[ ] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies
[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars
[ ] you are/were in gymnastics
[ ] you smile a lot more than you should
[ ] you have more than 6 pairs of shoes
[ ] you care about what you look like a majority of the time
[x] you like wearing dresses
[ ] you like wearing body spray/perfumes
[ ] you like high heel shoes
[x] you used to play with dolls as a kid
[x] you like putting makeup on others
[ ] you like being the star of almost everything
[ ] hot pink is one of your favorite colors
TOTAL= 6

Take the totals and multiply them by 4. That's your percentages.
Guy percentaging = 72%
Girl percentaging = 24%

Kinda what I was expecting, heh.

Rules:
(1) Bold the ones that are true.
(2) Italicize the ones that are sort of true.

general
* I am 5'4 or shorter.
* I think I'm ugly.
* I have many scars.
* I tan easily.
* I wish my hair was a different color.
* I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
* I have a tattoo.
* I am self-conscious about my appearance.
* I have/had braces.
* I wear glasses.
* I'd get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
* I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
* I have had more than two piercings.
* I have had piercings in places besides my ears.
* I have freckles.

family/home life
* I've sworn at my parents.
* I've run away from home.
* I've been kicked out of the house.
* My biological parents are together.
* I have a sibling less than one year old.
* I want to have kids someday.
* I have children.
* I've lost a child.

embarrassment
* I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
* Disney movies still make me cry. Shut up.
* I've snorted while laughing.
* I've laughed so hard I've cried.
* I've glued my hand to something.
* I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
* I've had my trousers rip in public.

health
* I've had stitches.
* I've broken a bone.
* I've had my tonsils removed.
* I've sat in a doctor's office with a friend.
* I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
* I've had serious surgery.
* I've had chicken pox.

traveling
* I've driven over 200 miles (1000km) in one day.
* I've been on a plane.
* I've been to North America.
* I've been to Niagara Falls.
* I've been to Japan.
* I've been to Europe.
* I've been to Africa.

experiences
* I've been lost in my city.
* I've seen a shooting star.
* I've wished on a shooting star.
* I've seen a meteor shower.
* I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
* I've pushed all the buttons in a lift.
* I've been to a casino.
* I've been skydiving.
* I've gone skinny dipping.
* I've played spin the bottle.
* I've crashed a car.
* I've been skiing.
* I've been in a play.
* I've met someone in person from the internet.(can i make it any bigger?)
* I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
* I've seen the northern lights.
* I've sat on a roof top at night.
* I've played chicken.
* I've seen the RHPS.
* I've eaten sushi.
* I've been snowboarding.

relationships
* I'm single.
* I'm in a relationship
* I'm available.
* I'm engaged.
* I'm married.
* I've gone on a blind date.
* I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
* I've been divorced.
* I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
* I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
* I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
* I've kept something from a past relationship.

sexuality
* I've had a crush on someone of the same gender.
* I've kissed a member of the same gender.
* I've had sex with someone of the opposite gender.
* I've had sex with someone of the same gender.
* I've had sex with more than one person at the same time.
* I am a cuddler.
* I've been kissed in the rain.
* I've had sex outdoors.
* I've hugged a stranger.
* I have kissed a stranger.
* I have had sex with a stranger.

honesty/crime
* I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
* I have lied to my parents about where I am.
* I am keeping a secret from the world.
* I've cheated while playing a video game.
* I've cheated on a test.
* I've driven through a red light.
* I've been suspended from school.
* I've witnessed a crime.
* I've been in a fist fight.
* I've been arrested.
* I've shoplifted.

drugs/alcohol
* I've consumed alcohol.
* I have/do smoked cigarettes.
* I have/do smoked pot.
* I regularly drink.
* I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
* I take cough medication when I'm not sick.
* I've done hard drugs.
* I've been addicted to an illegal substance.
* I can't swallow pills.
* I can swallow about five pills at a time no problem.

random
* I can sing well.
* I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
* I open up to others too easily.
* I watch the news.
* I don't kill bugs.
* I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for sake of being able to rhyme.
* I fucking swear regularly.
* I sing in the shower.
* I am a morning person.
* I paid for my mobile phone ring tone.
* I'm a snob about grammar.
* I am a sports fanatic.
* I play with my hair.
* I have/had "x"s in my screen name.
* I love being neat.
* I love spam.
* I've copied more than 30 cds in a day.
* I bake well.
* My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue.
* I don't know how to shoot a gun.
* I am in love with love.
* I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
* I laugh at my own jokes.
* I eat fast food weekly.
* I believe in ghosts.
* I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
* I am really ticklish.
* I love white chocolate.
* I bite my nails.
* I play video games.
* I'm good at remembering faces.
* I'm good at remembering names.
* I'm good at remembering dates.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
* My answers are totally honest

So that Meeting I had yesterday was... horrible.

I get my own special 'Worker' who I meet next Friday, because I'm special like that.

I am.

So My 19th is coming up in a few weeks [7th December], and i'm not expecting anything off anyone on here because no one bothered to do any arts last year for me [which is why I never bother with them anymore. Why should I put in the effort when you can't be bothered?]

Yes, I am in a sour mood. I'm not looking forward to my birthday at all. Won't have any friends round because they've all gone to uni miles away, I don't have any money to go out, and I'm not allowed alcohol with my meds.

So yes.

And tomorrow I have a meeting with a 'mental health specialist'. Fucking fun...