SO sorry for the numerous delays! Life going nuts, plus new puppy, plus art block, plus new puppy alongside my computer's motherboard dying and getting my new computer (A birthday gift from my hubby), I have had no chance to really work on much! Getting the puppy trained, and my other dog is keeping her happy and distracted so I should hopefully be getting to work on owed stuff soon!

Art block is defeated, and I've been doing practice, studies and exercises so those of you waiting will get MUCH higher quality work than you initially purchased. I am working on Photoshop now, and in a higher resolution and bigger size.

So! My horrible luck strikes again and I am once again desperately scrambling for money in the wake of the sudden and agonizing death of my gaming computer!

It came out of nowhere. I knew it had problems with heat but I had no idea it was as bad as it was. The Motherboard is for sure done for. The CPU is hopefully salvagable... But I am not sure. It still works, for now.

I do have a motherboard, but it isn't compatible with all the pieces from my poor, poor dead PC! The dead computer has a mini ITX motherboard whereas the one I have is a full size gaming motherboard.

I need desktop RAM, at least 16 gigs. I can add more once it's at least functioning.

I need a power supply.

I need a heat sync and some fans.

I probably need a new CPU. The Motherboard I have is built for an i7. That is what my dead PC has.

Husband and I priced out the parts needed, and to make a new really nice gaming computer out of what I have, we need roughly $1000.

This being said! All my Shi'vali are up for offers.

https://artha-demon.deviantart.com/.....122/My-Shivali

Just note that I will be extremely picky on some of them, mostly the rare ones. I don't want to part with them, but having a computer is more important.

I also have tons of adoptables open!


http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26359625/

Commissions, sadly, are off the table as I am unable to work on them until have a new computer and... Well... This whole thing is in hopes of getting a new computer as mine up and died.


Additionally, I will gladly take donations! Without a computer, I can't put out any art or do my writing. Both of which are incredibly therapeutic to me. I can't do any of the things I am passionate about. Without art, I have no stress relief. Without stress relief... My PTSD Induced depression and anxiety skyrocket and I become a miserable nervous wreck.I usually just end up laying around and doing nothing all day with no motivation for anything.

I don't want to waste money on a temporary shit computer. Been there done that, they never last and end up infuriating me to no end. Not to mention lag during art and program crashes have made me howl in rage more times than I can count. I am hoping to get those parts I need ASAP.

PayPal is Arthademon[at]gmail.com

I know this probably won't get anywhere. I know my art is ugly and nobody wants to buy it but I try, it's a part of me and I need it. I have had emergencies before and never got much help. But I guess it's worth a try.

If you can't buy an adoptable or donate, please spread the news to somebody who can.

Yeah... It's done for.

Motherboard failed. It turns on. But shuts off if I do much at all.

CPU is damaged, too.

But I am pretty sure nobody will notice the absence of my art or anything.

My computer just shut itself down. It was frozen in a weird not quite off state... And now it's stuck on the loading screen.

I can't do art without my computer. At all. I can't make money without my computer.

Please be patient... I may be without a computer for a few months.

I managed to get it to turn back on but its fans are going crazy and it's acting funny.

I don't know when it will do that again or just not come back on.

So sorry about this! Maybe buy some adoptables from me to get me a new computer before this one kicks it entirely?

I know I keep putting out adoptables that just aren't selling but WELL THEY ARE FUN... and I am sure SOMEBODY will want some of them!

I have more on the way too, a set of monster boys drawn from scratch.


https://www.furaffinity.net/view/24666582/ Feathered Dragons, there are three left going for $15 apiece.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/24520193/ Fluffy Saber Cats, three left! They are going for $15 apiece.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25315725/ Dog/Big Cat Hybrids, 1 left , $20. They were all hand drawn, and will not be used again.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25326779/ Another set of dog/big cat hybrids. All four are available! $20 apiece, all hand drawn and will not be used again!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25469451/ Five of these werewolves are still available! On a base I drew myself! They are $15 apiece.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25875127/ A set of foxes on the Halcyon base by Waitress. All six of them are available! $10 apiece
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25875798/ More foxes on the Halcyon Feral base by Waitress! 9 out of 10 of them are available. $10 apiece
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25875886/ Full reference of a Merle dog! Asking for $8 or more.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25877274/ Duality Fox adoptables. Three out of six of them are still available. $10 for one, $15 for a Duality Set.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25878533/ 6/6 available, more foxes. $10 apiece
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25886059/ Monster Fox/Wolf anthro with a blood theme. Full reference, OPEN! $25
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25886577/ Lavender Tiger Girl, she is open! Anthro reference! Asking $25 for her
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/25887662/ Set of anthro chibis! 6/6 available! $15 apiece
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26005910/ Set of Chibis 2 Ranging from $10 - $15 depending on the individual adoptable
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26016263/ Big Beefy Boofers 3/6 Available $10 - $20 depending on the individual design
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26007134/ Black Male saber Lion Full Ref $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26134289/ Pick your own Pallete Anthro Feline with adult details, Hand drawn by me. Different price tiers starting at $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26143691/ Little Demon Dog $15
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26143711/ Set of Canines $15 apiece
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26175490/ Anthro Manticore $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26241357/ Creature Design, two tiers! $65 gets the individual creature. $150 for FULL species rights including the rights to profit off of the species.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/26321855/ Rusty Cheetah Dragon, tiers starting at $65 with extras at higher tiers.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27611595/ Painted Crystal Dragon, Auction with no bids
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27612743/ Painted Manticore, Auction with no bids
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27677322/ Forest Guardian $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27686884/ Fennek Dragon Tiered starting at $25
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27687010/ Dawn Alicorn $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27687287/ Monster Unicorn $35
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28140894/ Monster Foxes 5/6 $25 apiece

https://sta.sh/01p9iabzpza8

OK so long story short, I was in an intense bidwar with somebody over this character years ago. We agreed to split payment and co own him so we could both have our own versions since we both wanted him, and both of us had our own ideas for name and lore and stuff. During the time that we co-owned him, they got a bunch of art commissions done (Mostly points, I think? I don't remember, it has been so damn long!!), then eventually came to me saying they weren't interested in the character any more, and I offered to buy full rights, and all of the images were sent to me in, I believe, a drop box link.

Problem is, I can't remember the name of the person it was. I have short term memory loss, and the original submission has been deleted and I believe the artist, Bitsadopts has since become utterly inactive. I don't know, but their main account looks pretty empty like all their stuff is hidden and they left. I remember a comment string between the person and I, and I was looking in hopes of finding the name because we were talking off and on about the ideas we had until the character became fully mine.

I lost all the images I had due to a hard drive failure caused by my vindictive ex, or at least, I seem to have since I literally can't find anything from before a certain point anywhere, whatsoever. So, if you have seen any art of this character, please link it to me! If I can find the name of the commissioner, or even the name of the character I can do a full search and find it all myself!

I'm just hoping to maybe find a new purpose for this guy, and all the art there was of him would be so nice to have!

Thank you in advance! Feel free to spread this around and like... just tell me? Cuz... yeah, not being able to remember that stuff is driving me absolutely INSANE xD

OLD JOURNAL IS OLD


So I am replacing it.

That is all.

Hey I feel really bad asking this, but I need any donations I can get. I don’t know the goal yet, but I need several things after a horrifying traumatic experience my husband and I went through last week.

1 - Therapy for PTSD. It’s expensive, and I don’t quite have enough. I am showing all the signs and it’s badly effecting my health. I’m either sleeping all day long, or not sleeping at all… and barely eating. Been weak and sick because every time I eat I feel like throwing up so I’ve barely been eating at all. The migraines aren’t helping at all. Fortunately, no suicidal thoughts, but I keep wishing I could just sleep for the next hundred years.

2 - A Chiropractor. Again, it’s expensive. I don’t quite have enough, and my husband and I were both injured during my traumatic experience. Shoulder, wrists, neck, lower back… constant pain makes getting good sleep hard.

3 - Lawyer fees. People say I should get a public defender, but they usually just don’t care and I want to be SURE that nothing bad is going to happen. I won’t know the final quote until likely later this month, or beginning of next.

4 - Refunds. Because of my injuries I am unable to draw for a while. At least three weeks. Using my wrist even to type starts to hurt after a bit and I don’t want to do worse damage trying to draw for money, that would be counter intuitive in the end; and people I owe art to are getting mad. I am already under so much stress that owing art has made it way, way worse and I want to find a way to just refund it and get it over with and not have to deal with it on top of everything else.

-Before you ask, NO, the injuries were not at the hands of my husband. We are very close, and we are both really stressed out and really terrified and clinging to each other for support. Please don’t be worried for my current safety.

Since my wrist is injured and stress has made me sick to the point of barely eating and feeling nauseous and headachy all the time, I need help.

If you want to know more details, you can ask me privately, but I can not say what is going on without risk of just making things worse, under the advice of an attorney.

My paypal is arthademon[at]hotmail.com

If you can’t help please spread the news. I really need any help I can get.

Once I am recovered and all this is over, I will explain to everybody what happened, but until then I can’t say anything unless you are a close and trusted friend.

Fuck it, done.

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT WARNING. Now I don’t know how useful this is to anybody else … I don’t know if this is an actual thing going around or just my ex being a vindictive asshole again.

But just in case it IS a hack that is going around, or starting its rounds, I am letting you all know. Because I don’t want anybody else to go through what I did.

If I didn’t have a computer tech husband to save my ass, I would have lost EVERYTHING on my computer. If I didn’t trust him enough to have an admin account on my computer (He has it to do maintenance stuff that I don’t know how to do lol), I would have lost everything.

SO it started with somebody called SZ adding me on Skype. They seemed like a badly coded botched Spambot and I blocked them and didn’t think anything of it. I get a lot of friends adding me on Skype both from DeviantART and Tumblr, and never turn away fans of my work who want to talk to me and get to know me. I never thought harm could come of adding a random spambot because you can always just remove them.

Until I went to bed and got back up again.

My main account was changed to “SZ” with a pirate skull and crossbones icon in place of my usual one.

The password was changed and I was completely unable to get in. At all.

My husband had a side account, and he was able to get into that, and use that to change my password back on my main account, so that I was able to get back in to my computer. Long story short, even his password was changed, BUUUT we had a fingerprint reader

All things considered, nothing was messed with. My logins are all safe, nothing was logged out, nothing was gone. I have nothing important. No financial information, nothing that would make me a target. My Paypal is constantly empty and isn’t connected to any banks or credit cards. I use Paypal, and the PayPal Prepaid card. Both of which are prepaid and usually empty.

It was a very big scare.

Now on to the warning.

Even if Spam Bots are funny, don’t add random people, ever. They might not be a harmless amusing spambot to mess with and block… they might be a hacker out to get you, like SZ was! Be careful, guys!

I’ve completely left Skype. If you want to add me on Discord, message me and I’ll tell you my Discord name.

I don’t even really know how to start this all out but if I don’t write this it would be going around and around in my head. I hardly even know what to feel.

It feels like a part of me was ripped away. Like there is a hole in my heart. My head hurts. My chest hurts. I’ve cried so much my eyes feel like sandpaper and there’s nothing left. Haven’t eaten... haven’t drank, anything, all day... 

I don’t know whether to scream in rage to the heavens, or sob in despair... or to just sit quietly and stare at nothing... Sometimes I feel nothing but pure emotional agony... and sometimes... nothing.

Even now, my hands are shaking so bad I can hardly type... hardly get my words out properly.

It’s all so surreal. It’s like a horrible nightmare... nothing feels real. Like if I just reached out reality would rip and there’d be nothing but blackness beyond. Like a constant lump at the back of my throat that I can’t get rid of, no matter how much I cry.

It hurts... it hurts so much that I literally can’t even put to words anything that could even remotely describe how I feel right now. Everything hurts. I’m so exhausted but my mind just won’t shut up. Everything’s going around and around and around and maybe if I just write it out... vent it out... maybe I can get some rest. Maybe the pain will go away...

Today has been the singular most painful, heart-wrenching, terrible day of my entire life. Never have I felt anything like this before... ever.

He was pronounced brain dead at 9 this morning. My little boy... is gone. Taken from me, before he was even two years old, by the cruelty of a person entrusted to care for him until he got to his new home. He's having one more test taken. Then... because of a criminal investigation, autopsied. The only light in all of this is that his death won't be entirely in vain. His organs are all healthy and good.... and will save the life of another child in need. Will save another mother from going through the agony I am going through right now. Will allow a mother to hold her living, breathing smiling child in her arms.... watch her child grow up and become their own person... watch their child live. But none of this... none of this changes anything about how I feel.

I don't know how active I am going to be. Everything reminds me of him. Everything makes me think of him. What could have been... him growing up with a big sister and two mommies... getting to watch him grow up, safe and happy... I think about those wonderful people who were going to adopt him... their little girl who was so happy that she was going to have a baby brother.

And it just...

I am heartbroken. I've lost count of the times I've just broken down and just fallen apart today.

The hospital is going to raise and fly a flag for three days, in his honor. Then, it will be sent to me. We're working out stuff for a funeral... probably going to have him cremated.

I don't even know what to do... or to think... or even to feel. All day... if I wasn't crying my eyes out I was just... staring straight ahead, at nothing. I'm hardly even aware of time's passing... the day felt both horribly and painfully slow... and like a whirlwind rushed by leaving devastation in its wake.

Somebody please... please just tell me this is all a nightmare. That it's a bad dream. That it isn't real... that I'll wake up... and he'll be in his adoptive home with his two new mommies and his new big sister...

I just want it to be a dream... I want it to be over. I don't want to hurt anymore...

If it wasn't for my husband, supportive as he could be, doing everything to keep me as stable as possible... I don't know what I'd do.

It hurts so much...

tragedy

I know I am hardly ever active here anymore aside from stalking streams on occasion and keeping in contact with friends.

Everything just feels like a bad dream. Like, one of those things that just feels too horrible to be true. Like any minute I’ll wake up and realize it’s just all a big nightmare.

But I am awake. I know I am awake. As much as I wish I was not.

I haven’t kept a lot of things updated here, but I’m sure SOME of you remember the fiasco where CPS was called on me because of an innocent rant… I ended up deciding to give my son up to foster care and find an adoptive home for him. I couldn’t get him to eat solid food, and couldn’t get medical insurance, and could hardly afford to keep him fed and the stress was affecting Brynn and I’s health. Bad. This was why we made the decision.

Everything WAS going really well, aside from CPS being really cryptic and unhelpful… we had an adoption agency helping us, had a really wonderful family picked up. He was going to have a big sister and two mommies… really kind and loving people. We met, we talked, we hit it off well. I gave them the picture I drew of him. It was to be an open adoption, meaning I’d still get to watch how he grew, and possibly even be in contact with him and visit him from time to time as he grew… it was the perfect situation. He’d be safe and happy; Brynn and I would be happy, and everything was going to work out.

He was supposed to be placed by Christmas.

Then it went terribly, horribly wrong. I had somebody knocking on my door at 1 in the morning, saying he was in the hospital and I needed to be there… so Brynn and I, him running on maybe 3 hours, and I on none, rushed to the hospital to find out that he had bruising and bleeding in the brain.

They said he wasn’t breathing. He had no pulse. They resuscitated him … but there’s no brain activity. It’s been twelve hours now…. They are doing more tests and keeping me updated on everything, but … he’s on life support right now.

They don’t know if he’ll ever wake up… and there’s a possibility that I may lose him.

I have every reason to believe that he was being abused by the foster family he was with while all the adoption proceedings went through. He was showing signs, at least from what I saw in the video they have new parents watch, of Shaken Baby Syndrome. His soon to be adoptive family is as upset as I am.... I was the one who had to give them the news.

Even WORSE? They were acting like somehow I was the one that caused it. The investigator was extremely rude and kept grilling me… Yeah, maybe I failed miserably at being a mother, couldn’t do it right… and ended up giving him up for adoption because I felt it was best for him. But I never, ever once hurt him. Ever. Even when frustration was so great I wanted to rip my hair out and scream. I never even considered hurting him. I was abused horribly growing up, and I vowed that I would never, ever do that to him. And I never did. Ever. I would never put a child through the hell I went through.

I’m beyond upset, and just… just completely furious. Those… horrible people hurt my son. Possibly even killed… my son. And I can’t do anything about it… all I can do is hope they get caught, and go to jail.

So… yeah. Things aren’t looking good right now. I was getting out of art block but I’m… honestly, starting to shut down. I’m getting to that state of numb where I just stop feeling emotion. It’s how I’ve coped with all the abuse I’ve been through in my life up until I met my husband and was finally safe and happy.

It’s to the point where I can’t really feel any joy in anything right now, even things that I was happy/excited about just yesterday before this bomb dropped on my head.

I'll get over it, I'll be fine in the end. But it's going to take a long while.

I almost entirely gave up on this account, but I didn't want to start over again, either.

So yeah I'll be doing streams from time to time again and stuff like that.

So yeah there was a big Journey spam. Recently got the game and I can't get enough of it. xD I love it so much.

I've been drawing SO MUCH JOURNEY. lmao

Doing a stream for a good cause tomorrow!

My friend is in a bad emotionally abusive situation in a very, very bad neighborhood. She’s in some serious danger, and I have close to enough to get her a plane ticket. I am.. about $40 short.

So keep an eye out for tomorrow’s stream! If I can get her to come stay with me, I’ll be going to buy that ticket the INSTANT she gives me the word.

I have a friend, somebody I have known for years (I met her when I was still in High School), who is in a bad relationship with an extremely toxic person. Like.. REALLY toxic.

She is utterly miserable, I can just see it. When she was visiting... she was happy. But every time she talked to him on the phone, her mood changed. And every time we mentioned it to her, she made excuses for this guy.

We didn't even want her to go back home with how miserable she clearly was. Talking to her on Skype, I can just SEE it. She's miserable, she's stressed 24/7, lives in a neighborhood that she could get shot just walking out the door. It's extremely dangerous. And even worse, he exposes her to dangerous people and then she just makes excuses and says "Oh it's not that bad" or "It doesn't happen that often!" and her life just... doesn't calm down.

I hate seeing her like this. It pains me to see this moron breaking her down as badly as I was broken down with my ex. And even worse, JUST like me and my ex, she's making excuses for him, blind to it, not seeing at ALL what it is doing to her. Every time I try to help her see it it's just "Oh it's just because of this"
"Oh he's not bad, he just has this problem"

Excuses excuses excuses... and she actually believes these excuses she's making for this guy... He's a DANGER to her. He's an IDIOT. They're always fighting and she's always upset!

"Oh I'm like his good luck charm, I've made his life so much better!"

But what has he done for her? Nothing. He refuses to listen to her, guilt trips her at every turn, refuses to change to become a better person and it's hurting her. How is it that I can see this so clearly, but she's blind to it?

How do I help her? What do I do? How do I help her see this and get her away from that selfish, dangerous, manipulative asshole?

I'm so worried about her.

Nobody buys them anymore. I waste my time creating stuff nobody gives a shit about. So... yeah. I give up, no more adoptables from me.

Ok I HATE to ask you guys this but.. for some bullshit reason my Paypal is $250 short. I called five times. They won’t do shit.

There is NO food in the house. Nothing. And I won’t have money until Teusday.

If I can somehow break even, and get maybe a little extra, I can do a small shopping trip. Hell, if I break even I can do a commission stream!



If ANYBODY can help me out this would be amazing. I’m already so hungry I have a migraine, meaning drawing/streaming is out of the question. And I DEFINITELY don’t want to do $250 worth of art for NOTHING… and it’s going to be five days before I can eat.

If you can’t help, can you signal boost this?

You can donate here: paypal.me/arthademon

____

I have it now! Thanks so much to the wonderful person who helped me! <3 I'm not under anymore!

WELL there goes MY fucking good mood. SOMEHOW I am $250 short in my Paypal… for NO FUCKING REASON.. and THEY WON’T FUCKING DO SHIT ABOUT IT!!!!!

I am selling my Intous Pro Large!

It is in great condition, and I have had it for a year. I have treated it gently, and it is clean.

$300, and that includes shipping. US only, please!

If you live in the Kentuckiana area, we MAY be willing to deliver it.

I got the Cintiq 22HD for my birthday, and will never use it again.

Hoping to sell it before we move!

Comment if you are interested! Know somebody else who is interested? Send them my way!

(I MAY be willing to negotiate to a lower price of you really need it for something, so let me know! But you have to really need it.)

So I am getting the Cintiq 22HD for my birthday, and will be selling my used Intous Pro Large.

It'll be $300, and comes with the pen. My husband is gonna modify it so the wire-to-tablet connection will work better than it ever did even brand new. (Since that is a big Wacom weakness)

Anybody interested?

If I made and sold personalized beaded necklaces imbued with a blessing, would any of you be interested in buying one? I would bless them myself and each blessing would be personalized. It would come with a vial of blessed water and blessed salt. Of course, I would bless it all myself especially for you.

What I would need from you would be your name, what blessing you want, and what colors/stones you resonate with the most. A picture would also be helpful, since I could keep a visualization in my mind while doing the blessing.

I did this for a good friend of mine. It worked very well, the power put into the blessed necklace and pendant was so strong it made her feel tingly all over, as well as the water and the salt. The beads, charm, and pendant were all hand chosen both for looks, and how they felt. Each bead was individually blessed, and then the entire thing was blessed. For my friend, the blessing was Protection, Positive Energy, and the Banishing of Negative Energy.

These would be blessed by myself and my husband with pure white light, with no deities or religion in mind. Only good intentions and the well-being of the buyer/wearer in mind.

Note:: I am not Wiccan. I am Freeform Spiritualist. Some of my methods are inspired by how Wiccans do things, but I follow my own path and do what feels right.

What would these be good for, you may ask?

Protection from negative energy, attracting good energy, attracting wealth. Positive energy brings positive things. Feel depressed and downtrodden? I can put positive energy to help combat that.

Of COURSE I would never promise miracles. But I know I can make things better, and I can help.

I’d likely charge $50 for these, since these are personalized and hand made to order, not to mention all the work that would go into blessing them.

Let me know if you’d be interested! I may make some general blessed ones as well, to see how they go!

DO. NOT.

JUST DO NOT.

Find old art from artists who are married involving their fursona... send it to their significant other, and claim they are cheating.

Just don't fucking do it. Old art is... *GASP* OLD! And probably made BEFORE THEY EVEN MET! It's rude, it's stupid, and it's a fucking dick move.

The significant other may KNOW they aren't being cheated on, but some people have fears put into their heads by things that happened in their past.

So just don't do it.

Just. Fucking. Don't.

So basically, most musicians who take commissions are either not that great, or are really expensive... can anybody suggest a good musician to contact for a possible future theme song commission? It'd be a soundtrack to follow the story of my character Darsha, it'd need to be very movie soundtrack-esque in feel.

FINALLY CAME UP WITH A SPECIES NAME!!!
They are now known as Kivuuli!

For the blogs they themselves will still refer to themselves as such, but will still be considered Endermen because this is what humans and such call them. In story and such, ‘Enderman’ will be taken out of the equation so they are made completely my own!

Dark Kivuuli or just Kivuuli for the main bulk of the species.

Blue Kivuuli or Maltese Kivuuli for the subspecies.


Why go with an English word “Maltese”?

Wellll the REAL reason is I have called them that so long that I don’t want to change it, and nothing else really sounds good

BUUUUT they are inter-dimensional beings, and the Maltese, until recently, didn’t even start calling themselves anything aside from Kivuuli, since they had no contact with their dark-skinned ancestors. The one who actually came up with the term is Kaitu. He learned the languages of the places portals often opened to, and when he was in our world or a parallel of it. He heard humans referring to blue-coated cats as “Maltese”… realizing that the coat colors of his own species was similar to the cat color. Knowing that they were now distinctly different than their ancestors, he decided to use the word “Maltese” himself to set them aside from normal Yinder. It is now used by all of them. They either call themselves Blue Kivuuli or Maltese Kivuuli or just Blues or Maltese.