I'm doing this online volunteer work to pad my resume and hopefully pivot careers into something more AI-proof. But this nonprofit is demanding more and more, and I'm already feeling stretched between my actual job, commissions, family stuff, medical issues, and just day-to-day adulting. I agree to too many things. Needless-to-say, America's new administration of toddlers and internet trolls isn't doing my state of mind any good.

I need to stop juggling so many plates because I'm rapidly approaching burnout.

I want to take some time off. But when I do actually have free time, I can't force myself to relax and enjoy the moment. I've been so conditioned by the hustle economy mindset that you always have to be doing something, always setting the next goal, always working toward the next paycheck, and so I go to bed feeling guilty that I accomplished nothing that day. Even while watching a stream with friends, I'm usually sketching something on the side.

I still have a lot of half-finished projects to finish, but afterward I seriously want to force myself to do absolutely nothing for a solid month. Unplug from social media, see real life friends, finish a book, etc.

Does anyone have any tips to counter burnout?

Hey, I'm alright.

I probably should have warned everyone before posting those overdramatic pics. I'm just trying to vent some feelings that have been building up for a while. I've struggled with depression since I was a teen and I've had worsening anxiety since the pandemic. I'm seeing a doctor. I'm on medication. I'm taking care of myself. But I do have my highs and lows. These pics were just a release for me.

I didn't want to alarm anyone, but several people reached out to check on me, which I very much appreciate.

Take care everyone and Happy Pride Month.

Now I'll go back to drawing penises.

Yep, me too.

https://bsky.app/profile/artizek.bsky.social

Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, but changes on certain social media platforms have got me thinking about where I'm posting, whose responding, and what would happen if one of these platforms disappeared or became unusable. I've gained a decent following on some of these sites and I'd lose that if I had to start over elsewhere. I'm not famous. I'm not trying to get branding deals. But more eyes on my art means more commissions and more Patreon funds. I need those more than ever since rent is skyrocketing in my town.

Here's a list of where I've posted in the past and where I'm posting now:

OLD RELIABLE (FurAffinity) -- Yes, the site has its problems (at least the site doesn't crash for weeks at a time anymore), but I've been here longer than anywhere else. I've discovered fellow artist, I've made plenty of friends, and (cliche as it may sound) I get a sense of community I don't find elsewhere. The tools are limited. I can't post high res pics without upgrading to FA+. But I've been here too long and I'll probably never leave.

THE DIET ALTERNATIVES (Furry Network, Weasyl, SoFurry) -- I always forget these exist until some admin drama blows up on FA or the site crashes for a week, and people start going elsewhere. I don't think I've posted to these sites in years. I just never get much engagement, and they're not different enough from FA for me to bother with them. If you like them more power to you, but for me they're a waste of time.

NEO-TUMBLR (DeviantArt) -- What happened, DA? This was where I posted everything: high school art, college art, and furry art. Obviously, I couldn't post straight up porn, which is why I made an FA account, but I kept an account here for over a decade. However, as time went on I'd get fewer faves and follows, and I think this is due in part to how massive the site became. You could find most anything on DA, and honestly a lot of it was pretty awful. Remember all the stamps and custom emojis? A few years ago they made substantial changes to the UI. It made the site look more modern, but to me it felt more like a phone app than a website. I found it difficult to navigate and finally shuttered my account in frustration. Now they're allowing AI to scrape content off their site. Looks like I jumped ship just in time.

THE PROBLEMATIC FAVE (Twitter) -- The abusive lover no one can quit. There were a lot of issues with Twitter even the Muskovite takeover. I mostly avoided the political cesspool side of Twitter because pretty much everyone I followed or interacted with was an artist. But yeah, I'm noticing a lot more questionable content sent my way, and so many users have fallen for AI "art" accounts that they're little better than bot accounts themselves. Still, this is by far the best place to be discovered and to gain followers. You could favorite art on other platforms but retweeting it gets that pic in front of so many more people. I don't like the recent changes. I don't like the guy in charge. But at least for now, I'm sticking it out until something real serious happens. And no, I'm not paying $8 a month for a fucking checkmark.

THE LIFE RAFTS (CoHost, Mastodon, etc.) -- Like everyone else, I made accounts right after Musk bought Twitter, but I haven't looked at them since. I don't think many others have either. :/

THE NEW CLASSICS (Discord and Telegram) -- I have both and I use them all the time. They're great for keeping up with friends and sending sketches to commissioners. Watching friends stream or watching so-bad-they're-good movies with friends got me through lockdown. I haven't made my own Discord server or Telegram group to post my art. I'm not sure what kind of response I'll get. What do you think?

THE ANCIENT ONES -- Does anybody even remember Elfwood? VCL? Furry Muck? Furnation? Cashew Lou's old page?

OUR LORD AND SAVIOR (Patreon) -- Honestly, I resisted making an account for years because I thought it'd be a fad. I doubted I was good enough for a Patreon, but I finally relented. It took a long time to build up a following, but a few years in it's become a lifeline. It doesn't provide a ton of revenue but it's enough to pay off some credit card bills. Naturally, Patreon has it's issues too. But I'm truly flattered how many patrons have stuck around as long as they have.

Have you ever taken a survey or reviewed a product, and it asks how you heard about them (flyer, online ad, etc.)? I'm doing the same here. What platforms do you use the most? Have you left any? Would you be willing to? Let me know in the comments.

TWITTER: Artizek
TELEGRAM: Artizek
PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/artizek
FN: https://furrynetwork.com/artizek/
WEASYL: https://www.weasyl.com/~artizek
SO FURRY: https://artizek.sofurry.com

Last night in Colorado Springs, a maniac with an AR-15 opened fire at a gay nightclub called Club Q, murdering five people and injuring 18. This happened literally blocks from my apartment.

I'm not big on the club scene but I went to a few shows every now and then. They'd do the Rocky Horror Picture Show around Halloween. Club Q was tucked behind a Subway and a miniature golf course. Nothing special, but in a town as conservative as Colorado Springs, it was a lifeline. This town is home to several military installations and megachurches. Focus on the Family is here. It was ground zero for a lot of think tanks that pushed anti-gay laws. At one point we were called the Hate State. People ridicule safe spaces, but this is exactly what Club Q was for scared young queer people who grew up being told they were abominations or could be fixed with conversion therapy.

As more people have moved here and the culture became more diverse, things have gradually changed for the better. Colorado's governor is openly gay. Colorado Springs even has a Pride celebration. But all that anger and hate doesn't just vanish. It goes underground. It becomes craftier and more perverse. It doesn't materialize in a torch-wielding mob: instead it shows up at school boards and state legislatures, pulling books from libraries, banning trans kids from sports, pretending to "protect the children." And then it spills into violence. November 20th is the Trans Day of Remembrance. This shit isn't a coincidence.

This hurts a lot. It hits home. My family moved to Colorado Springs and had been here just months when two teenagers shot up their high school in Littleton, just an hour away. It's terrifying to think that Columbine, once the most infamous mass shooting, isn't even in the top ten deadliest anymore. Then there was the Aurora Theater Shooting. In 2017, a deranged man shot three people at a Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood. Now this happened just down the street. It's literally getting closer to me each time.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this. I'm mostly just in shock at this point, but I know stronger feelings are close behind. I might take a break from art and social media for a while.

Please please take care of yourself, hug your loved ones, and keep being your beautiful queer selves.

Alright, I think I'm back from hiatus.

I just needed to decompress for while since art started feeling like a chore. But after a few months of doing nothing, my fingers were itching to draw again. I have a few personal projects lined up for the end of the year. In the future, I want to strike a better balance between commissions and personal work. I'm still into gay muscle furs, but I want to branch out a bit.

Thanks again for everyone who reached out to wish me well or share their own experiences with creative burnout. You helped me through a difficult time.

As always, I do have a Patreon where I post sketches, line art, and early art, and conduct polls for what to draw next. Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/artizek

Hey everyone.

There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m going to take an art hiatus. I don’t know how long this is going to last, but I badly need to recharge.

The truth is I’ve been feeling this way for a while – since Covid started really. I’m on the computer all day. I work from home, close the work laptop, and start on commissions until bed. Every day it’s the same thing. I’ve been stressed. There’s a lot of drama going on in my personal life, but I won’t get into that.

I haven’t enjoyed drawing for quite some time now. I finish a piece and all I can see are flaws. I don’t feel inspired anymore. Instead, I feel drained. I don’t feel I’m improving or taking any risks. I feel like I’m being commissioned to draw the same things over and over. And frankly, I’m sick of it. I’m tired of drawing muscle growth comics. I’m tired of trying to pack as much muscle onto a frame as possible even when it’s past being aesthetically presentable.

And I really have no one to blame but myself. I’ve allowed myself to be put in this box.

I have a few commissions in progress and I’m definitely going to complete those, but afterward I need to take a break to figure out what I want to do with myself and my art. I wish I could tell you how long that will be, but I honestly don’t know. I don’t know if I even want to draw muscle furs anymore. At least not for a few months. I might draw something completely unrelated. I don’t know yet.

I’m sorry if this comes across as sudden or dramatic, but I need to prioritize myself for a while. Thanks in advance for your patience and understanding.

Till next time,

Artizek

So, I finally finished it.

I’d read the directors wanted to make the big cat version of Blackfish, the expose on captive orcas that basically crippled Sea World. And Tiger King had some of that, but not enough in my opinion. The focus is on these terrible, egomaniacs, not on what the animals have to suffer.

There are now more big cats in captivity than there are in the wild. There are more big cats captive in just American than there are in the wild. One of the big cat owners in the documentary (the former drug trafficker, I think) said people want to release tigers back into a wilderness that doesn’t exist anymore. I reluctantly agree. Humans are rapidly destroying their natural habitat, and if big cats were returned to the wild, they’d likely be killed by ranchers trying to protect their cattle or by poachers after a tiger tooth or hide.

But does that justify keeping these big cats in the conditions in these “shelters,” “sanctuaries,” and private zoos? Yes, Joe Exotic and Bhagavan “Doc” Antle breed tiger cubs, increasing their population, but then they parade them around for tourists to pet and photograph. They pull in the most money, and there are even rumors that Antle euthanizes cubs after they grow too large and dangerous to be held by the public. Is that the trade-off for bringing new tigers into the world? Do they have to earn their keep?

There’s legislation to outlaw private ownership of big cats. At first glance I support it. Visitors have been mauled and even killed by these animals, so have their owners. That’s what happens when you treat a 500 lb jungle beast like a house cat. Everybody wants to take a selfie with a tiger. Far fewer want to go through the effort of giving it a good life. Many of these private zoos struggle to feed the animals and can’t provide proper medical treatment. If they do breed animals, I worry they might interbreed them and lead to genetic mutations that hard the species. Almost all of them engage in illegal activity, trafficking cubs, drug felonies, barely paying their staff anything when they’re not actively harming them, and arguably putting their visitors in danger.

But if such legislation passes, what would happen to the animals after they’re confiscated. There’s no way they could be shipped to Africa or India and released into the wild, having never hunted for their own food. The best-case scenario would be to put them in legitimate zoos, but are our nation’s zoos equipped to receive that many animals? I doubt it. Unfortunately, most of the animals would certainly be euthanized and isn’t that what we’re trying to prevent?

It’s fun to watch these crazy people bicker and shoot off their guns and trying to bring each other down in the documentary. It’s good television and probably the only reason Netflix picked the series up. I don’t want people like Joe Exotic owning and arguably exploiting these animals. I’m on the fence about the others, particularly Carole Baskin who seems only marginally better than the others. But again, I wish the focus were on the animals and not this reality TV bullshit. The animals have no say in any of this, and at the end of the day they’re the ones who suffer the most.

So I never got into Cats. I don't hate it like a lot of people do. I'm just kinda indifferent to it. But a few of my friends adore the stage musical. They were very upset when the trailers dropped for the new movie and tonight they asked that I join them in the theater for emotional support.

I...had a great time.

Don't get me wrong. This movie is awful. God awful. Everything about it is 100% wrong. Corny jokes, bad song covers, awkward sexual tension throughout. The cringe was turned up to 11 and some horrific CGI was thrown in. It was everything I could have asked for and more. I've read some reviews saying there are some fun campy moments but the rest is boring. Well, I have no clue what they're talking about because I was transfixed. If you thought the cat people rubbing against each other was bad, wait till you see the mice with the faces of children and the chorus lines of dancing cockroach ladies.

Jennifer Hudson is trying to do the Anne Hathaway scene from Les Mis with a bowl of snot dripping out of her head as she weeps her way through Memories. Ian McKellen looks so confused, like they drugged him to get him on set. Taylor Swift cat shoehorns her way into so many scenes and even I, a person who's not familiar with the musical, could tell they'd added these songs just for her.

On either side of me I could feel the misery wafting off my friends as they watched their beloved musical being butchered before their eyes. But I couldn't stop laughing. The rest of the audience was mostly high school kids, and we were all shouting at the screen, "Oh God!" "What is happening?" and "We're only ten minutes in." We groaned and shrieked like we were in a $100 million haunted corn maze.

I feel I owe my friends a drink (a whole round of drinks) because not only was I the only one who enjoyed himself, but they paid for my ticket to entice me to go. They walked out with migraines and were cursing at the screen while I had this shit-eating grin on my face. I genuinely feel kinda guilty.

You probably know all you need to know about this movie from the trailers. But if you love so-bad-it's-good over-budgeted train wrecks, this is exactly the movie for you.

I write this in response to several incidents involving well-known members of the furry and pup community that have led to tragedy. Possibly even crimes. I’m not going to go into specifics, but if you follow other furry muscle artists on Twitter or Tumblr, you know what I’m talking about. This journal is not a place to share screenshots or argue over who did what, thus the disabled comments.

I think we all have issues with our own bodies. Many of us wish we were taller or more muscular or that our genitals were larger or a different shape or whatever. These feelings of inadequacy start early and linger even after adolescence. I certainly felt this way and still feel this way at times. For many, body dysmorphia can lead to serious problems like depression, anxiety, self-harm, eating disorders, exercise to the point of injury, steroid abuse, or silicone injections. Those things can in turn can cut you off from family and friends who could offer real help.

Make no mistake, I see nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself and helping others to do it. I think it’s really great. Several furs who encourage others to become more like their characters in real life by eating healthy and exercising. I’m trying to eat healthier and build muscle myself. But obviously you can go too far with it.
In some respects, I think insecurity about my own body drew me and many others to internet communities where you can create an avatar that compensates for these perceived shortcomings.

This is a double-edged sword, though.

For me, I was empowered by finding others who shared my kinks. I felt accepted and built a network of good friends. Many people find their life partners through these networks. Many found a person with whom they could create a sort of team: a team that would inspire the other person to reach their goals and set newer higher ones. In many instances, this can be the seed of a great relationship. In others, it can be a gateway to abuse, particularly if the other person takes advantage of your insecurities. It can become a toxic relationship, where one person goes through drastic and even dangerous measures to mold their body into what their partner demands.

I haven’t met the people in question. I haven’t talked to them or done trades or commissioned their art. All I know is hearsay. I don’t have all the facts. That said, I do regularly talk to someone who has been personally affected. Not by this incident but by another earlier incident that was eerily similar.

So I write this because, even outside of toxic relationships, I feel there’s an intense pressure in the gay community to be physically attractive: to be thin, to be muscular, to be well hung, to be whatever suits your fetish or whatever will attract your ideal partner. The standards set are impossible for 99% of the population, even more so in furry muscle communities, which based so much in fantasy.

And in a small way, I feel I’ve added to that environment. All of my art is of sexualized hypermuscular male bodies. I glamorize it because that’s what gets me off. It gets off my friends and people who follow my art.

I’m not saying I’m complicit in what happened – I don’t know any of the people involved – and really why should I be concerned about my art when muscular bodies are marketed to us in ads, comic books, and movies? Everybody’s self-conscious. More people are taking supplements and injecting steroids. So why worry about a few muscle growth comics that only a few hundred people will see? Do I really have a responsibility for the people who view my art and for what they might do? I know it sounds irrational, but I just can’t shake the creepy feeling that I might be feeding something unhealthy in certain people.

I’m not going to stop drawing muscle porn. It’s so much of who I am and, in some ways, it helps me come to terms with my sexuality. But I am going to provide a caveat.

It’s natural to be self-conscious about your body, but if you have legit body dysmorphia, if you spent all your free time in the gym because you can’t bear to look at yourself shirtless in the mirror, if you’re buying human growth hormones through the mail and taking twenty supplements every morning, if you’re risking your health and breaking the law by getting injections in a motel room, you need to seek help. And most important, if someone else is forcing you to do this through threats or emotional manipulation, you need to get out of that relationship for your own well-being and warn others involved for their well-being.

There’s nothing wrong with loving big muscles or big dicks. I’m not shaming anyone. I’m not calling anyone out. But if you suspect you’re harming yourself to get the body you want, there is help out there. I’m going to post some links to resources below.

There are far more important things than another ten pounds of muscle or another inch of dick. Don’t put yourself at risk to get them. You may feel weak or ugly or worthless, but you’re not. You are worthy of love. It can be a long and difficult process, accepting your physical self, but you can do it. Find someone who loves you for who you are and not what you could potentially be. Better yet, dig deep down and find that love for yourself.
And if you know someone going through this, please reach out.

1. Mayo Clinic https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases.....s/syc-20353938
2. Int’l OCD Foundation https://bdd.iocdf.org specifically muscle dysmorphia https://bdd.iocdf.org/expert-opinio.....le-dysmorphia/ (includes resources for therapy)
3. Body Dysmorphic Foundation https://bddfoundation.org (questionnaires, support groups, videos)
4. Workbook https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Re.....ody-Dysmorphia
5. Finding Therapy http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-therapy https://www.findapsychologist.org http://digg.com/2017/how-to-find-a-therapist
6. Support Groups https://body-dysmorphic-disorder.supportgroups.com
7. Resources by City https://www.medicinenet.com/body_dy.....order/city.htm

National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255

When I was a young tiger, I always went for the brooding buffs. The aloof, morally compromised antihero who deep down had a heart of gold, but you had to wade through a gruff attitude and a lot of machismo to get to it. Characters like Wolverine, Sabertooth, Batman, The Incredible Hulk, Hellboy, and even Viktor from Lackadaisy Cats were figures who appealed my teenage sense of rebellion and my desire to appear cool in the eyes of others, and their tall, chiseled, muscular physiques were an added bonus as I slowly accepted that I liked the D.

As you not doubt have guessed, I used this mold when creating my OC, Jaroq.

Being a skinny, awkward, and pretty reclusive teenager, I had this strange love/hate relationship with the jocks who ruled my high school. Though I was never really bullied (aside from some teasing), I really hated their arrogance, their entitlement, and the stupid way they all strived to be cooler or bigger or stronger than their peers. But at the same time, I really admired their confidence, their drive to improve themselves in the gym, and of course, their powerful bodies. I spoke to them only when I had to (in a group project or to ask them to move so I could get to my locker), yet I often stared at the biceps filling out their sleeves, wondering what it must be like to touch them.

During junior year, I would follow this particularly huge senior (who, no lie, competed in junior bodybuilding competitions) around the halls, trying to muster enough courage to talk to him and then chickening out when several of his friends joined him. The only words I ever got out were asking him to sign my yearbook on the last day of school. It wasn’t until senior year when I had a guy on the football and wrestling team in my AP English class that I began to drop the stereotype I had held for so long.

I’m sure this was real unhealthy for me, but I can’t be the only one with this experience: hating something and being attracted to it simultaneously.

In the first few years upon accepting my sexuality, I really only liked one type of guy. When searching for porn, I wanted them young, super shredded, and hairless with a cocky demeanor to match their huge cock. When I drew furry art, the characters had to have six-pack abs and every oblique muscle needed to be visible. When I wrote fanfic or my own stories, they needed to be lurking in dark alleyways or a grimy basement gym with the physique or two or three pro bodybuilders at just 25. They needed to be loners with a distrust of authority, just like me. Only in rare cases would I save a jpg of a muscleman with a beard or body hair (why cover all that muscle?) or a character with even the slightest belly (abs all the way).

Then something funny happened. I found myself slowly drifting away from the edgelord, antihero stock characters and toward characters that were…well…friendlier. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always have a soft spot for the gigantic, strong-but-silent grumps, but it gradually dawned on me how much that boxes you in. There’s only so much you can do with that type. Instead, I became more fascinated when similar characters would have to open themselves up to others and show compassion like Kimahri Ronso in Final Fantasy X or Mercenary in Grimoire of Zero. Something about towering muscle beasts having to take care of someone smaller and weaker than themselves really appeals to me. It’s kind of cute.

Now it wasn’t enough for a strongman to look cool and sexy anymore: they had to have dimension. I must have been getting sick of cynicism and disillusionment because I started seeking out characters who were friendly right up front, who didn’t force you to dig through the machismo to get to it. I’ll call them wholesome dads.

They’re not always older men, but their personality is more mature: they’re confident but not arrogant, they’re nurturing but not patronizing, they’re responsible but still now how to let loose, they have enough self-control to let petty arguments slide but if you cross that line, don’t think for a moment that they can’t or won’t lift your car off the ground and rip it in two. They still train in the gym and keep up appearances, but there are more important things to them than pushing their biceps one inch bigger than their peers. They still have a rampant sex drive, but don’t feel the need to tell everyone in town about it. Everything isn’t a dick-measuring contest with them.

They use their immense strength to protect instead of for status. They’re providers. Instead of thinking what you can do for them, they just want to make you the best version of yourself. They’re not after recognition (though they don’t mind some muscle worship in the bedroom), they just appreciate having you around. Wholesome dads don’t fret about looking like a sissy because they’re man enough to wear a pink shirt, a shirt that their gigantic pecs and shoulders stretch out in no time. They have no problem going trick-or-treating with their daughter on Halloween and wearing the Little Red Riding Hood costume when their daughter wants to go as the wolf: https://am22.akamaized.net/tms/cnt/.....rG-410x550.jpg

Maybe it’s just among the people I follow and the communities I take part in, but I’m seeing more appreciation for “daddies” of late. New characters like Lin Hu, Arslan, and Asgore (when he’s not murdering children, of course) are joining wholesome dads like Mufasa and Tony the Tiger. When Dream Daddy came out, everybody seemed to latch onto the bearish, thick-set dad, Brian, and nowadays half the fanart I see of Bowser is in his role as a father.

Along with the personality change, my preferences for a guy’s physique started to broaden – both literally and figuratively. I still don’t like fat rolls, sagging body parts, or fupas, but I’m coming around to bellies whether it’s just a little pudge in the offseason, a swollen muscle gut, or a big jolly tummy. They just have to have an equal portion of muscle to balance it out. Likewise, I used to hate body hair, beards, and stubble; now I kind of like it in reasonable amounts (funny coming from a furry, I know).

How did this change happen? Maybe I grew up. Maybe my taste in men matured along with my personality. Maybe I learned to give other kinks a chance. Maybe I just got bored confining myself to one stock of characters. However it happened, it happened gradually and without me really noticing until recently. I haven’t sworn off the buff badasses, of course. I love my Sabertoothes, my Hellboys, and my Hulks; I just find that I like this other character type, too. The same goes for the men who in my eyes fall between those two types (I think Beast from X-Men and Goliath from Gargoyles are a good medium between the brooding antiheros and wholesome dads).

I realize these characterizations are real broad, and I’m sure each of these men have their own complexities that defy easy categories. I just wanted to simply it for the sake of argument.

But what about you? Have you found your preferences changing over time? Why do you think that is? Have you noticed more attention on daddies? Let me know.

Concerning The Shape of Water, a lot of interesting videos about "monstrous" love interests have been popping up on YouTube. I know a lot of people of color and LGBTQ people identify with monsters as they are both often characterized as something dangerous or disfigured. But in the past few decades, media has portrayed them in a more sympathetic light. It's okay to celebrate monsters instead of shunning them.

That may be why a lot of us got into the furry fandom. What do you think?

https://youtu.be/ERrVNKEQJA8

https://youtu.be/JSWhMjhu3bM

https://youtu.be/YesMWAxqJ60

I was dating a guy a while back. We would hook up maybe every other week. Things seemed to be going so well. He was kind and funny and easy to talk to. We seemed to have a lot in common. About three months in, I made the mistake of texting, "I love you." There was a long silence on his end. I mean like a month of silence. He was real awful about texting back, but something was different. I put him in an awkward spot, I know.

We finally went out to a pizza place and he explained he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. "It's not you, it's me." Obviously, I was disappointed, but I tried not to show it. I said I respected his boundaries and hoped we could remain friends. He seemed fine with that. We went our separate ways. In the weeks since, I've tried texting to see if we could hang out. Nothing romantic, I just wanted to do something with a friend. No response. I'd just ask how he was. No response. I asked if something was wrong. No response.

I know I shouldn't, but in the five or six months since, I've texted maybe once a month to ask how he's doing. I bet I'm just digging the grave deeper, but I just want some definite answer. I don't know what I did. Everything seemed to be going so well. I suppose I just pushed it too far too fast. I scared him off.

I'm afraid he found someone else and doesn't have the heart to tell me.

I'm gonna stop texting. I've made too many efforts to contact him.

Looks like I'm back to square one.

Many artists I know are getting Patreon accounts or have had them for a while now. I never got one for myself because I thought it was a passing fad (I thought the same of Twitter and not I'm on there every day). But obviously, the trend is still going strong.

Money is tight for me and while I am currently doing commissions for a few people, I can't deny that ever little bit helps. If i could just make enough each month to pay off one of my student loans, that'd be a fantastic help.

As of now, I'm leaning toward getting one, but I wanted some advice first.

FOR CREATORS:

1. Have you had any success?

2. What do you like and dislike about the platform?

3. Are there any drawbacks to a Patreon account? For example, does Patreon keep some of the money? Do you have to make a certain amount before getting paid?

4. Should an artist create content exclusively for Patreon, or Patreon more like a tip jar?

5. Is it too much work maintaining another social media account?

FOR CONTRIBUTORS:

1. What makes you donate to one creator over another?

2. What kind of rewards do you like? Early art, works in progress and sketches, polls, etc.?

3. Have you ever felt ripped off donating to an artist?

And of course, if there's anything else you think I should know, please tell me.


Thanks,

Artizek

Hey everyone,

Some of you may have role-played with me on Skype, Telegram, or F-List, and been wondering where I am. I must admit that while I do enjoy a good RP every now and then, I've recently realized how much of my time it eats up. That's not to say I've been spending all my waking hours on sex chats, but sometimes I'll get home from work, open Skype just to say hi to a friend, and four hours later, I'm RPing with three people and haven't gotten anything else done.

Roleplaying always takes up a big chunk of my time: time I could be devoting to art. When I RP, it's difficult for me to focus on other things. I'll try coloring a picture, but I keep jumping back and forth between that and the chat, and I can never get that creative flow going. I'm too busy thinking about what I'll say to the next person.

I still want to keep in contact with everybody, I just can't spend all night on RPs. So if we've role-played in the past and I haven't contacted you in a while, please understand I'm not angry or ignoring you, I just can't make sex chats a priority over my art. Especially when I owe art to so many people.

Thanks for understanding,

Arty

As if I needed something else to worry about.

I've been a copyeditor at a legal publishing company in town for a year-and-a-half now. It's not very interesting, but the pay is okay and I assumed the work would be steady. However, the client we publish for has not been very happy with me. They have a strict guideline of grammar and citation rules that I can never seem to get down. I work on improving one thing and end up neglecting another. My coworkers and manager has said they just have overly high expectations, and I'll get it with enough time. But it's been long enough that it's a problem.

They're worried the client might not renew the contract in the future. My manager called me in to a one-on-one meeting and says she wants to find me another position in the company. She doesn't think this is a good fit for me, and the client keeps complaining about me. She's wondering how I can turn this around, but I've been trying my damnedest to turn it around for six months now. I got a degree in writing, and I thought I was pretty good at it. Guess not.

I don't know what these other positions she has in mind are. I think we're just waiting for someone else to retire, but the company has been cutting costs everywhere and there's a chance of more layoffs. I don't know whether to stay where I am and hope for the best or quit and try to find something else. Of course, it took me years to find a non-retail job. I hate to go back to filling out 40 applications a day and not hearing anything back, but if I have to I will.

I just renewed my apartment lease for another year and was hoping I could put some money aside as a down payment on a used car. My life has been pretty chaotic over the past years, moving all the time, car repairs, trying to consolidate student loans; my job has been a steady paycheck and something consistent in my life. It's very worrying to me that it might be on the rocks now.

I guess 2016 wasn't done with me yet.

Can you believe it? After years and years of being single, I may have finally landed myself a boyfriend! He lives in town, works in finance, and has a great sense of humor. He's a 6'6" and 260 lb. heavy set guy, but it's more of a muscle chub look which I like. Brown hair, beard, and some chest hair. He even has a tattoo of Max from Where the Wild Things Are on his shoulder. We've been on three dates, and things seem to be going really well.

There is one big problem though. He's not a furry.

I'm sure he's aware of furries online. I don't run around in suit, go to many conventions, or hang lewd furry porn on my wall, but being furry is still a huge part of my life and I know that if we get serious, he's gonna find out at some point. Especially if I'm drawing three-foot dicked muscle tigers all the time.

So, how do I introduce him to the fandom without scaring him off? :/

Jack Chick, the creator of those little evangelist comic books you find in gas station restrooms and laundromats, has gone to meet his maker. If you've never seen any of his "Chick Tracts," you're in for a barrel of laughs. It's like all the racist, conspiracy theory, doomsday Christianity e-mails my grandpa used to send me, but illustrated! The liberal hoax of evolution, the New World Order, evil pagans, and a partridge in a pear tree!

These two atheists from the Youtube series, The Bible Reloaded, do an amazing job riffing Chick's stuff. This one is my favorite of theirs.

Enjoy!

https://youtu.be/mp-zcHWHXiY

Taking a cue from  zerozero.

Ask me shit. It can be about me as an artist, or you can address your questions to any of my characters. Please let me know who should answer, though.

1...2...3...GO!

I just realized with the inclusion of my Chief Bogo picture, I have reached 365 submissions: one for every day of the year! Granted a lot of them I cringe to look at years later, but still, I had no idea my gallery was bursting at the seams like that.

Which one is your favorite? And why? Post a link below.

Here's mine: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13355334/ I really love the rainbow effect and each of these individual characters, not to mention the framing effect of the letters.

More art coming soon, guys.

- Arty

...and vote for my t-shirt design on Threadless! You may have seen this in my gallery. If you've ever wanted to wear it, this is your change!

https://www.threadless.com/designs/.....orado-critters

A lot of things have happened at once for me.

First and foremost - as some of you may have heard - I got a job offer as a copy editor at a place in town. I'll be editing a lot of court documents before they're bound in a book and released to law offices and courts. It's gonna be incredibly boring, I'm sure, but it'll be my first 9-5 office job and a good stepping stone for something better later on. Six years out of college and this is the first job that relates to my career. Those three internships were all unpaid.

So I'm super excited for that. I took my current job as a temporary one until I could find something better and...well...that was two years ago. Twice a week I would go onto job sites, read sample cover letters over and over, and keep a list of literally hundreds of places I applied to. Most wouldn't even send a courtesy "Hey, we got your resume" e-mail. Even after driving an hour to an interview, a place never bothered to tell me they'd selected someone else. I was doing all this work and had nothing to show for it. Nobody wanted me and I was incredibly discouraged.

At last, I got an offer at this place. Great timing, too. Since there was an unusual amount of flooding this spring, there are some substantial damages to the basement I was renting from two friends. They're going to remodel the entire basement and needed me out of there. We're all on good terms and everything, but it's their house and they were barely charging me anything for rent.

As of yesterday, I've moved in with my mom and stepdad. All my stuff is in a 5x10 storage unit nearby. I start the new job right after Labor Day and my mom is letting me stay for 2-3 months until I can save up enough money for a security deposit and a few months rent on my own apartment. The situation isn't ideal: I'm on the 11th floor of a 55+ senior's apartment building and I won't have much privacy, but you can't argue with free lodging.

Obviously, this means a lot of the furry art is going on hold. My scanner and sketchbooks are all buried in storage but before I moved, I inked a good deal of art (commissions and personal) that I can color on my laptop. I just have to be real careful about when I do it. That should keep me occupied until I can find my own place. That was one of the benefits of living with furries: you could draw a big 'ol tiger dick in the living room and nobody questioned it. Furthermore, I don't know how many RPs I can do given the current situation.

I'll try and do another update after I've been at my job for a week and/or if there are any other major changes in my life.

Take care everyone.

*big muscle tiger hugs*

YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!

https://youtu.be/rcuFKAGOM3g

Bad news just keeps on coming.

So my 2000 Dodge Neon has decided to start failing on me. I was driving to a friend's house doing about 65 mph on the highway when the car suddenly slowed down and became lurching forward in little spurts. Both the engine and oil lights came on. I pulled over, waited 15 minutes, poured in a quart of oil I luckily had in the trunk, and restarted it. It ran fine all the way home but the engine light remained on.

The next day I drove to a mechanic and apparently two sensors need to be replaced and I need three new torque mounts. It's gonna cost almost $1,000 for parts and installation. I can technically afford it since I've recently been approved for more credit on my credit card, but this is pretty much gonna clean me out. If something else comes along that requires a few hundred dollars in the near future, I'm gonna be well-fucked and far from home.

I'm seriously considering a muscle growth drive to offset the costs. This is one of those things where viewers donate money and for every dollar spent, I add a pound of muscle onto a character. I've seen several artists do these months ago, but I just wanted to gauge the interest before I committed. It would be pretty pathetic if my character only gained ten pounds.

Interested? Please let me know. If I get enough comments, I think I'm going through with it.

Best,

Artizek

First, thank you everyone for the comments and notes after my last journal. I always get the feeling that I'm being annoying or self-centered whenever I post something like that. A lot of shit has been going down in my life but it helps a lot knowing there's several people out there who seem to care about me. I'm feeling a little better now and I've already made an appointment with a psychiatrist for next week.

Second, I have one commission to finish and then I'm going to be taking a hiatus from furry art for a while. I have an art show at a local gallery coming up at the end of March and I really want to focus on that as well as some other non-furry art to try and build a portfolio of sorts. You'll probably be seeing more activity on my DA site (artizek.deviantart.com), but I'll continue to check in here.

Additionally, I've been ramping up my job search. There's nothing particularly horrendous about my current job custom framing at an arts and crafts store, but I really want to get out of retail and customer service into something that uses my college degree. You know, something with regular hours and vacation time. I'm worried that I may have to move to a big city and leave behind all the friends that I've made but unless you're in the military, there's really not much opportunity in this town and I've been stuck here five years already.

This hiatus may last a few weeks or a few months. I really don't know yet. I'll still respond to notes and comment on artwork I like, I just won't be particularly active here for a while.

Thanks for understanding.

Best,
Artizek