I really want to get more active here! My characters have been creeping back in my head again and I should be drawing more and not neglecting them cause character development is so enjoyable. And I need to comment and fave more, cause I just went through my faves and WOW.

I don't often write journals and I just want to get the last one off my main page!

Hello!

There is a big part of me that just really wants to be more a part of this community. And I would love to get to Anthrocon again if I could somehow get myself to be more active online with commenting and posting and drawing. I am always feeling stuck on the outside though. I am just too scattered with my hobbies and interests so I never focus hard on just one.

Another big part of me says I would not have any fun!

The other problem is that it is just too damn expensive to fly down there when I'm in St. John's.

Well, I haven't given up yet anyway!

guess who sucks at updating everything - ME
but don't worry it's not like I have been drawing anything :<

gonna try to draw and upload stuff even if it is just silly nonsense!

requests? (not gonna promise I will do anything, just want some ideas and I like drawing for people - also I would love to hear from anyone who's interested in seeing me post)

I am back to internet land
But you probably didn't notice that I was gone! Cause I'm quiet!
I moved! More moving to do still!
It'll be a while till I'm settled but hopefully when I am I'll be able to start making some art work again!!

<3

Edit: Okay, I think I'll try to go to AC next year. Don't let me change my mind!

So here's what I think.

I either suck it up and go to a god damn furry con again.

Or I give it up with this nonsense because
it's driving me crazy!!!

You people make it impossible to happily participate in the furry community online and refrain from going to conferences because they always sound so freakishly fun. It's like torture to just sit here and read about these things time after time and never even consider going.

I am gonna have to shrug off my pride or embrace it
but not both waaah.

Not that I'm actually complaining about reading about cons or seeing pictures. I'm just jealous.

Go with my natural instinct to accept and trust and love and have fun and not be ashamed of myself
Or fight day in and day out to have every random person who sees me on the bus or street or mall think I'm a normal maybe kind of pretty person, which ends up creating this judgemental sentiment in me all the time, because if everyone is judging me, I am judging them. And I hate that about myself right now. I don't want to judge or be judged.

I mean clearly I am posting this personal dilemma on FA because I am biased towards the option that all of you would be biased towards.

:|
Glad y'all had fun, though!

Pretty much I feel like I can't draw anymore
I let it go too long. I'm completely lost.
I have been trying to learn and do things right and I lost how I used to be able to just draw things. I can't ever draw my favourite personal character. I pretended forever that animal people were stupid and I didn't need to draw them but I can't shake it. I love it. And I can't do it. Look at my gallery, it's so random.

I have been an artist for my entire life and I have no body of work. I feel like I have a ton of puzzle pieces but no part of the puzzle completed.

I feel like I need some kind of training to go anywhere but that's not an option for me. I need to figure it out as a hobby but it requires a ton of personal drive and commitment and kicking my own ass but I need to use that for my master's degree right now. In the mean time how do I continue to pursue my hobby when I feel like I've lost the ability to draw for fun?

Oh I just realized what I missed by not going to art school:
Studying how to draw things properly.
DAMN.
I need that
but I don't want to practice, I just want to paint


Also my patience for finishing things is pretty garbage, I just want to rush through.. hmm.

I'll do this thing!

Everyone who reads this, and who would find such a topic interesting, should submit their own Top 10 Albums. The basic rules are:
1) The bands don't have to be insanely popular,
2) The albums don't have to go in order of how good they are. Just list what you like.
3) Also, make sure to list one of each, since this is only a Top 10 list.


1. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
2. Uncle Tupelo - 89/93: An Anthology (OK, not a real album, but it's the only one I have right now)
3. The Beatles - Abbey Road
4. Joel Plaskett - La De Da
5. Rajaton - Kevat
6. Simon & Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water
7. The New Pornographers - Electric Version
8. Radiohead - OK Computer
9. The Dears - Gang of Losers
10. Buck 65 - This Right Here is Buck 65

That was too hard! And probably not quite right. But something like that.

Radiohead coming to Montreal!

I'm not really 100% sure what I'm doing here.
What subjects do I really want to put in my art?
Hm. All I know is I really enjoy the art and the friendliness.

I'll try sketching a lot and brainstorming and see if I can get any direction out of it.

I was at the National Gallery this weekend. I'll jot down some notes before I lose the inspiration.

Hey whoever's out there. I love chatting on aim/msn/gtalk/whatever. If you like art and music and weather and chatting too you should chat at me!!

aim: ashtanl
msn: melcat148[at]hotmail.com
gtalk: greentoe at gmail

Yeah!

I'm on FA now, boo!