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EEEEPPPPP!
Posted 12 years agoSo me and my boyfriend were talking and if all goes as we planned I will be celebrating my birthday in Ohio with my best friend and possibly getting it see his daughter and my nephew! Can't wait! This summer is going to be a good one with all the plans we have! <3
My reason
Posted 12 years agoOk, so I know that I haven't been on here as strong as I used to be. And I know that when I post a journal in the past they always been complaints about how unhappy I have been and other really stupid things and it's silly for me to come back and just start posting about things that don't even have to do with the fandom but I am not really sure where I can get all of this out without I guess seeming crazy. And here is where I feel that if anyone bothers to read this at all I will get complete understanding and no judgement. I guess I should just get on with what I am all pent up about. Have you ever met someone who made you want to change all of your ways? To be a better person to strive harder for something more then you have in your life? I have you ever fallen in love with someone you NEVER thought you would be with in a million years? I have, I am in love with someone I hope that I call one of my best friends. He makes me more emotional then anyone ever has. It's a like feeling things for the first time, if he read this he'd probably think my cheese slid off my cracker. But I guess what I getting at is, I've made some very dumb choices and I am now feeling the strong urge to get out from other those choices, not only for myself but for him.
When I met him, I used to pick on him so bad. He was that one friend that everyone picked up. Made horrible gay jokes and played pranks on. ( I think we all have that one friend that our whole group of friends pick on even though we would be lost without that friend) When I met him which was over a year ago I didn't really have much of an option on. And what I did he reminded me of an ex. The last real boyfriend I had before him almost 4 years ago. So I never really looked at him that way. But then things started to slowly but surely change about 6 or 7 months ago. We started talking more. hanging out, hell I even started making up excuses to come over to the apartment just to talk to him and see him a little. And then the more time we spent together staying up last watching movies (even though we talked all through them) playing card games, we started to steal little touches, and there was something about them that caused a change that I didn't expect. The couch they have is small so I'd lay my legs on him to be able to stretch out and his hands would always rest of them. And well not to bore you too much with the intimate details which Im sure I've said too much already anyhow, there was comfort there. Something that I am not used to feeling.
My friends kept telling me that he liked me and there was something there but I just kept saying no no it's nothing, and I knew that I was only denying it because I was scared to feel. The first time he kissed me so much ran through me that I almost walked away from him. Cause was so scared of where it would lead. I haven't really had many guys want more from me then sex. And granted that's not all there fault. I let guys be that way with me. Way more then I even care to admit. I have made a lot of mistakes in relationships and the more he tells me he loves him and gives me little reasons and the things he loves about me the more I want to make my life better.
I am 23 live at home with my parents and work at the same nursing home that I have for the past 4 years. And I want to make some very big changes. Not only for him but for me and to be the type of person that makes my friends and family proud. I know that my family loves me and think I make good choices compared to the rest of my siblings but the fact is I am not financially stable at all. I have made some poor choices, one of which I am currently working very hard to get out of on my own. I used to have such a drive for life and college. Where the hell did all of that go? I had a plan and this wasn't suppose to be my life. I ended up staying at home with my dad cause he always made me feel guilty and worried about him and his wife how they were doing financially. Which again isn't all their fault. I just got lazy and lost myself.
I want to make my mom and step dad so proud and I know that they are happy with me right now, but I also know that I am NOT living up to all I could be. i have let fear keep me from a lot of things.
I don't know how many times I told my friends I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that and never did. And you know why? Because I was too much of a pussy to take a chance and make a change. But I can't do that anymore.
I have a reason to want to be more and to do more. I guess Zoe in firefly said it best," I ain't afraid of losing something that I aint gonna try to have."
Losing him has become a fear of mine, in 4 months he has shown me more love and understanding, that I couldn't even dream about. He has made me want to try for a better life, not only in hopes of someday being about to possibly more things farther in our relationship together but to stand up on my own two feet as an adult and make him proud to be with me.
I know that this is a lot and if anyone ever has all the patience to read all of this then thank you, if not well then I got my feelings out. And I pray that he will want to stick around and see the changes I want so badly to make in the next few months.
End of silly girl emotional rant.
When I met him, I used to pick on him so bad. He was that one friend that everyone picked up. Made horrible gay jokes and played pranks on. ( I think we all have that one friend that our whole group of friends pick on even though we would be lost without that friend) When I met him which was over a year ago I didn't really have much of an option on. And what I did he reminded me of an ex. The last real boyfriend I had before him almost 4 years ago. So I never really looked at him that way. But then things started to slowly but surely change about 6 or 7 months ago. We started talking more. hanging out, hell I even started making up excuses to come over to the apartment just to talk to him and see him a little. And then the more time we spent together staying up last watching movies (even though we talked all through them) playing card games, we started to steal little touches, and there was something about them that caused a change that I didn't expect. The couch they have is small so I'd lay my legs on him to be able to stretch out and his hands would always rest of them. And well not to bore you too much with the intimate details which Im sure I've said too much already anyhow, there was comfort there. Something that I am not used to feeling.
My friends kept telling me that he liked me and there was something there but I just kept saying no no it's nothing, and I knew that I was only denying it because I was scared to feel. The first time he kissed me so much ran through me that I almost walked away from him. Cause was so scared of where it would lead. I haven't really had many guys want more from me then sex. And granted that's not all there fault. I let guys be that way with me. Way more then I even care to admit. I have made a lot of mistakes in relationships and the more he tells me he loves him and gives me little reasons and the things he loves about me the more I want to make my life better.
I am 23 live at home with my parents and work at the same nursing home that I have for the past 4 years. And I want to make some very big changes. Not only for him but for me and to be the type of person that makes my friends and family proud. I know that my family loves me and think I make good choices compared to the rest of my siblings but the fact is I am not financially stable at all. I have made some poor choices, one of which I am currently working very hard to get out of on my own. I used to have such a drive for life and college. Where the hell did all of that go? I had a plan and this wasn't suppose to be my life. I ended up staying at home with my dad cause he always made me feel guilty and worried about him and his wife how they were doing financially. Which again isn't all their fault. I just got lazy and lost myself.
I want to make my mom and step dad so proud and I know that they are happy with me right now, but I also know that I am NOT living up to all I could be. i have let fear keep me from a lot of things.
I don't know how many times I told my friends I'm going to do this or I'm going to do that and never did. And you know why? Because I was too much of a pussy to take a chance and make a change. But I can't do that anymore.
I have a reason to want to be more and to do more. I guess Zoe in firefly said it best," I ain't afraid of losing something that I aint gonna try to have."
Losing him has become a fear of mine, in 4 months he has shown me more love and understanding, that I couldn't even dream about. He has made me want to try for a better life, not only in hopes of someday being about to possibly more things farther in our relationship together but to stand up on my own two feet as an adult and make him proud to be with me.
I know that this is a lot and if anyone ever has all the patience to read all of this then thank you, if not well then I got my feelings out. And I pray that he will want to stick around and see the changes I want so badly to make in the next few months.
End of silly girl emotional rant.
ugh
Posted 13 years agoThinking probably isn't the best. I'm questioning things I never thought I would and wondering if I even belong in some peoples lives anymore. Maybe its all the stress and lack of sleep getting to me. But. Inot'm liking this at all.
update
Posted 13 years agoSo my grandpa has been in the hospital with sever infozma or however the hell it is spelled. The other morning one of his lungs collapsed, they fixed it but everyone is still pretty worried. He is going to be in the hospital for a bit to say the least. My family from Florida drove up to see him. I didn't wake up til 1:30 I work at 6 so I choose not to drive up today a course that meant make Nancy feel bad. Luckily my manager at KFC is finding someone to work for me tomorrow so I can get up early and make my way up there and spend the day. More or less everyone is extremely tired and stressed the fuck out and I really don't even want to really deal with shit. I woke up in a good mood and was in a good mood for bit but that was completely ruined. I just wish people would lay off of me a little bit.But really wish papa would get better. :(
DUDE!
Posted 14 years agoSo I've been working a lot lately and been kind of is but luckily tomorrow I only work 12-2 then after sleep over with my dear AKYFACE! We are gonna to go hobby lobby run and work on my foot paws! Maybe hang out with Jedi kitty if he is free! Haven't gotten to see in him a long time so that should be fun! And then this weekend I will be working on a tail! I'm going to make my own rainbow gay tail. And if it works out well enough I'm going to play around with other things. Saturday I will be going to get all the materials I need to get started. Then me and AKYFACE will be having dinner with grandma and visiting with her and her new kitty Joey she got him from second chance and he's a pretty good kitty. Will be posting pics soon! I got a few that I've been waiting to put up! :3
I wanna....
Posted 14 years agoEver want to say something that you feel like you can't? To feel something you don't think you're allowed to feel? Ask questions you want the answers to but afraid to know the out come of those questions due to the fact nothing you ever say or do comes out right? I feel like a fucked something up and I'm not sure how or when I did it. I'm not sure why I feel the way that I do, I just do... =/ It's going to be a meh day I think...
Sometimes I wish I had wings....
Posted 14 years agoThe other day someone asked if I could be reborn into anything in the world what would I chose.. At first I choose to be me all over and again just so I could redo a lot of the mistakes and things that I've said. But apparently that was the wrong answer I wasn't allowed to pick that, so I would rather be a bird of some type. Everyone is always like oh id rather be someone else cause they have it so much easier blah blah blah and all that jazz. But I look at it this way if I had wings I would fly away and certain things would matter anymore. I wouldn't worry about money, food, school, finding love or anything like that. I would just live off the land, learn from everything I see around me and be too in love with the sky and traveling for anything else to matter. it would be nice to just leave when i wanted to, see the ocean, go to different cities, states, countries,and be closer to the stars.Id feel free.... idk I just really wish I had wings sometimes.
yus or nu?
Posted 14 years ago1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations!!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- Yes
Been arrested? --- No
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes
Ran a red light? --- No
Been suspended from school? --- No
Experienced love at first sight? --- Yes
Totalled your car in an accident? --- Yes
Been fired from a job? --- No
Fired somebody? --- No
Sang karaoke? --- Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Kissed in the rain? --- No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes
Seen someone die? --- No
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
Sang in the shower? --- Yes
Smoked a cigar? --- No
Sat on a rooftop? --- No
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- No
Skipped school? --- Yes
Eaten a bug? --- Yes
Sleepwalked? ---No
Walked a moonlit beach? --- No
Ridden a motorcycle? --- No
Dumped someone? --- Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? --- No
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- Yes
Ridden on a helicopter? --- No
Shaved your head? --- No
Blacked out from drinking? --- Yes
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? --- No
Felt like killing someone? --- Yes
Cross-dressed? --- Yes
Been falling-down drunk? --- Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes
Eaten snake? --- No
Marched/Protested? --- No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- No
Puked on an amusement ride? --- No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- No
Been in a band? --- No
Knitted? --- Yes
Been on TV? ---No
Shot a gun? --- Yes
Skinny-dipped? --- Yes
Caused someone to need stitches? --- No
Ridden a surfboard? --- No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes
Had surgery? --- Yes
Streaked? --- No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- Yes
Passed out when not drink?---Yes
Donated Blood? --- No
Grabbed electric fence? --- No
Eaten alligator meat? --- No
Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- No
Peed your pants in public? --- No
Written graffiti? --- No
Loved someone you shouldn't? --- Yes
Think about the future? --- Yes
Been in handcuffs? --- Yes
Believe in love? --- Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages/comments you and asks. And believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming... things are not exactly as they seem.
3. It is harder than it looks, but NO explanations!!! You will want to... but don't!!!
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends? --- Yes
Been arrested? --- No
Kissed someone you didn't like? --- Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? --- Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? --- Yes
Ran a red light? --- No
Been suspended from school? --- No
Experienced love at first sight? --- Yes
Totalled your car in an accident? --- Yes
Been fired from a job? --- No
Fired somebody? --- No
Sang karaoke? --- Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? --- No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? --- Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? --- Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? --- Yes
Kissed in the rain? --- No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? --- Yes
Seen someone die? --- No
Played spin-the-bottle? --- No
Sang in the shower? --- Yes
Smoked a cigar? --- No
Sat on a rooftop? --- No
Taken pictures of yourself naked? --- Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? --- No
Skipped school? --- Yes
Eaten a bug? --- Yes
Sleepwalked? ---No
Walked a moonlit beach? --- No
Ridden a motorcycle? --- No
Dumped someone? --- Yes
Forgotten your anniversary? --- No
Lied to avoid a ticket? --- Yes
Ridden on a helicopter? --- No
Shaved your head? --- No
Blacked out from drinking? --- Yes
Played a prank on someone? --- Yes
Hit a home run? --- No
Felt like killing someone? --- Yes
Cross-dressed? --- Yes
Been falling-down drunk? --- Yes
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? --- Yes
Eaten snake? --- No
Marched/Protested? --- No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? --- No
Puked on an amusement ride? --- No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? --- No
Been in a band? --- No
Knitted? --- Yes
Been on TV? ---No
Shot a gun? --- Yes
Skinny-dipped? --- Yes
Caused someone to need stitches? --- No
Ridden a surfboard? --- No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? --- Yes
Had surgery? --- Yes
Streaked? --- No
Taken by ambulance to hospital? --- Yes
Passed out when not drink?---Yes
Donated Blood? --- No
Grabbed electric fence? --- No
Eaten alligator meat? --- No
Eaten cheesecake? --- Yes
Eaten kids' Halloween candy? --- Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? --- No
Peed your pants in public? --- No
Written graffiti? --- No
Loved someone you shouldn't? --- Yes
Think about the future? --- Yes
Been in handcuffs? --- Yes
Believe in love? --- Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? --- Yes
-DESKFACE-
Posted 14 years agoJob applications suck big time. Filling out for office jobs and having to put tacobell/kfc as you're current employer = extremely embarrassing and discouraging...yay..ugh Idk, I hope I hear from them!
DOODLE!
Posted 14 years agoSo I spent sometime playing with my friends tablet drawing and I REALLY need to start drawling again. I used to be really good with drawing people and landscapes but kinda suck at it now saddness! Alwell just means it's time to start it back up! oh and Im super happy about the return of the FAT BUNNIES! lOl
& Can I keep this up?
Posted 14 years agoSo basically the last couple of weeks I have woken up with my first thought being " this is it im going to fucking quit!" But I still get my ass up and go to work like a good girl so I can pay bills. I have been working two jobs and it's kinda stretching me thin but if I don't work them both I can't pay bills or go to school this fall. My best friend keeps bring MFF up and I really wanna go but with anything going on MFF just isn't that high on my priority list right now. I know things aren't really that bad and it could be worse but Im just really tired and it kinda sucks how lonely living like this gets after awhile..I pretty much only talk to 2 maybe 3 people here and there through text. Luckily I am FINALLY getting to hang out with 2 of my best friends tomorrow Jared and Brits so maybe after that this kitty will be in a happier mood. And FINALLY I get to get on here! My laptop finally died and my step mom very rarely shares her computer for anything. I really don't think I've been on here for like a month...Oh noes!
Oh and p.s. kids don't hold two jobs and make yourself super tired just because you wanna prove your parents wrong and that you can do it... Darn it and my super kitty pride!
Oh and p.s. kids don't hold two jobs and make yourself super tired just because you wanna prove your parents wrong and that you can do it... Darn it and my super kitty pride!
HAPPY KITTEH!
Posted 14 years agoI is in really good mood for once. Not sure why and Im sure work will ruin it as soon as I get there but I is happys! I actually fell asleep after my shower when I got home from work this morning and slept 8 hours and was up before 1 which never happens to me anymore. I am gonna start seeing if I can get myself to sleep sooner and in up earlier (hopefully this work!) lol...sleep makes kitteh less pissy!
coughing up hair balls
Posted 14 years agoSo my fur came in today and I am so excited! Me and Aky spent 3 hours today working on my suit which was SO much fun! My tail is almost done already. I will be finishing it tonight! Sadly I will be coughing up fur for a week but it's SO worth it! I am hoping to be working on it more this week on my days off from work! I have not been this excited or happy about anything in a long time! So yeah! More pics and updates soon to come!!
(>^.^)>
(>^.^)>
hates today
Posted 14 years agoEver have one of those days that first thing you wake up and just now that it's going to be a bad day? I went to bed feeling sad and woke up sad, wasn't really sure why and it was just really odd. I get up and the first thing my parents tell me today is my grandmother has breast cancer... I know since they found it early its not that bad but still. She has to do chemo and that's NOT easy on a persons body. She is in her late 60s and Im just so worried about how all of this is going to affect it. She is the main person that take care of my grandpa who is in this late 70s and his health is failing really bad lately. And then for more good news on top of good news, we found out our rent is being raised. So I have to find a second job to help with bill since my lazy ass waste of space and human air bother refuses to do shit! ....I don't know today just sucks. I've been having to keep myself from crying all day. I just wish I never got out of bed. The only good thing was that Aky came over and got me out of the house for a bit. Ugh don't know what I would do without her around.
time to grow up I guess....
Posted 14 years agoUgh spent most of my day before work today, finding applications and figuring out what I need to do to finish getting my associates. Kind of mad at myself for fucking around this past year cause if I didn't I would only be a semester away from getting my associates about all well. This will I will be getting signed up for classes so hopefully I will be done soon! And I am really hoping that I hear from the jobs I have been looking into or at least find a summer part time job to pay for school! So will see! =)
Ohs I will be ordering my fur this week for my suit! I can't wait for me and aky to get started on it!
Ohs I will be ordering my fur this week for my suit! I can't wait for me and aky to get started on it!
=(
Posted 14 years agoKitt is probably dying or at least thats how I feel tonight........ That is all.
waste of space and human air...
Posted 14 years agoIs it bad that I secretly pray for my brother to get hit by a truck or at least go back to jail?
HELP!
Posted 14 years agoOkay, so my laptop that my dad got me for Christmas is a 2002 Dell that I hate. He bought it used from my idiot brother for 200bucks which I think was a total waste of money. Surprise Surprise it's not working now. I really need a good one for when I go back to school in August. I don't want to hurt my dads feelings cause he was really proud to be able to get me a laptop cause well my family is seriously poor and we don't have nice things really. But I REALLY want to save up and get a better computer but don't want to hurt his pride. So I don't man.. Any advice? Cause I really don't want to hurt my dad, he works hard for what little we do have at home and always trys to make sure everyone is taken care of which is hard in a family of 5 people. My step mother can't work cause of health issues, so I try to help my dad out with what little money I make. We have my brother (who doesn't work) and his girlfriend who does work living with us but they don't help us out. So yeah kind of a sucky situation.
Anything can happen in the next half-hour
Posted 14 years agoJacked from :Campbellkid:
1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Yeah
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Jackson... Oh dear lord.. XD
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Eh..
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
The other day with Aky
5. What are you excited for?
Getting my phone friday
7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Aky
8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water
9. Have a best friend?
Yes! A couple! People actually like me!
10. Are you scared to fall in love?
Not really.
11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Eh.. Idk.
12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Yeah.... We're cool now, Im not gonna say! Lol
13. What time is it right this second?
5:00 am
14. What do you want right now?
Nothing
15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Aky
16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
single
17. When was the last time you cried?
It's been a bit.
18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
An okay one.
19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Sometimes, I try not to distrust until getting a reason too.
20. How fast does your mind change?
Depends on the situation
21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
Not at the moment
22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
Yes...Im okay trust me! Im not okay! Haha oh MCR but for reals Im good.
23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
Lust,Stupidity, and probably fears of being with just one person.
24. Tell me what's on your mind?
Naughty Stuffs.
25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Maybe getting another job and getting cash saved for school.
26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yes
27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Both of them were.
28. When is your next road trip?
Probably November
29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Just one, poor guy always listens to everything that bothers me....lol :3
30. How's your heart?
Goods I think.
31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Yeah, but not anymore, I know that there are people who love and think Im just dandy!
32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Well as long as it's not a creeper one can only hope..lol
33. What are you planning on doing after this?
SLEEP!
34. Next time you will kiss someone?
I don't know. Guess it wouldn't really be any fun if I did.
35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Aky
36. Who do you not get along with?
My brother cause he is a waste of human flesh and space.
37. What does you 3rd recent text say?
"My farts smell really bad. Like cat farts." I love my friends.
38. What are you wearing right now?
Birthday Suit
39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
That would probably be a bit awkward and uneasy for a little bit.
40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Few weeks?
41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
Wyatt! Cause it's a cowboy name! Lol And ummm I like the name Berlin for a girl.
42. How did you feel when you woke up?
Fine.
43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Nah they can wait til the afternoon.
44. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yessums
45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Fighting Boredom.
46. What are your LEGAL initials?
NLD
47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Brittany
48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Couple of hours ago.
49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
Hell yeah.
50. Explain your last awkward moment?
Fuck you!
51. Are you afraid of the dark?
Sometimes.
52. Do you have good vision?
I has glasses.
53. Have you ever tripped someone?
Mo fo shouldn't of pushed me into that locker freshmen year!
54. Have you ever slapped someone?
Bitch started it! Lol
55. Are you Irish?
I don't think so, but I drink.
56. Do you use chap stick?
In the winter.
57. Do you have any scars?
Many
58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
Not really, I tend to get over things pretty quickly.
59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
Nopers
60. Name the last person to text you?
Aky.
61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
If I was in love yes.
62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
If I put clothes on yeah.
63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
Eww! Yes!
64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
All over it's my bed!
65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
Get married?
66. Do you fall for people easily?
No, I tend to try to stay away from feeling for people even if that fails every once in a great awhile.
67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
Negative.
68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
No, Like I wish I could go back and fix a certain mistake, but not really Im more concerned with moving on with my life and making better things happen for me.
69. Song you're thinking of right now?
Refer to journal title
70. Want someone back in your life?
Eh, just wish me and some were on better terms, they're not exactly out of my life.
71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
Im hoping.
72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
What shirt?
73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Real Friend? Aky
74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Somewhat
75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
Single is pretty self explanatory.
76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Eh, it's getting better. Im happier then I have been.
77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
Not really, like it would be nice to meet someone but Im not too worried about love at the moment.
78. What do you wear when you sleep?
Nothing.. >.>
79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
Nope
80. The first person you loved is?
Matt and the only. Again, I don't really do feelings.
81. Something terrible happened with you?
I've had some sad things, but I wouldn't consider them terrible, Im a pretty lucky person in that aspect.
82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
Rated R things.
83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
Peace
84. Ever forced someone to do something?
Nope.
85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
My future
86. How was your first kiss?
Not good.
87. What's your favorite music genre?
Rock
88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
No
1.This survey gets a little personal; can you handle it?
Yeah
2. If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
Jackson... Oh dear lord.. XD
3. Were you happy when you woke up today?
Eh..
4. When were you on the phone last? And with who?
The other day with Aky
5. What are you excited for?
Getting my phone friday
7. Honestly, who was the last person to tell you they love you?
Aky
8. What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
Water
9. Have a best friend?
Yes! A couple! People actually like me!
10. Are you scared to fall in love?
Not really.
11. Do you think teenagers can be in love?
Eh.. Idk.
12. Last person you wanted to punch in the face?
Yeah.... We're cool now, Im not gonna say! Lol
13. What time is it right this second?
5:00 am
14. What do you want right now?
Nothing
15. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Aky
16. Are you single/taken/heartbroken/or confused?
single
17. When was the last time you cried?
It's been a bit.
18. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
An okay one.
19. Do you find it hard to trust others?
Sometimes, I try not to distrust until getting a reason too.
20. How fast does your mind change?
Depends on the situation
21. I bet you miss somebody right now.
Not at the moment
22. Can you honestly say you're okay right now?
Yes...Im okay trust me! Im not okay! Haha oh MCR but for reals Im good.
23. Why do you think so many people cheat?
Lust,Stupidity, and probably fears of being with just one person.
24. Tell me what's on your mind?
Naughty Stuffs.
25. What are you looking forward to in the next three months?
Maybe getting another job and getting cash saved for school.
26. Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
Yes
27. When did you last talk to your number 1 top friend?
Both of them were.
28. When is your next road trip?
Probably November
29. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell anything to?
Just one, poor guy always listens to everything that bothers me....lol :3
30. How's your heart?
Goods I think.
31. Have you ever felt like you weren't important?
Yeah, but not anymore, I know that there are people who love and think Im just dandy!
32. Do you think somebody's in love with you?
Well as long as it's not a creeper one can only hope..lol
33. What are you planning on doing after this?
SLEEP!
34. Next time you will kiss someone?
I don't know. Guess it wouldn't really be any fun if I did.
35. Have you told anybody you loved them today?
Aky
36. Who do you not get along with?
My brother cause he is a waste of human flesh and space.
37. What does you 3rd recent text say?
"My farts smell really bad. Like cat farts." I love my friends.
38. What are you wearing right now?
Birthday Suit
39. You're locked in a room with the person you last kissed, how is it?
That would probably be a bit awkward and uneasy for a little bit.
40. When's the last time you had a grilled cheese?
Few weeks?
41. What's your favorite boy and girl name right now?
Wyatt! Cause it's a cowboy name! Lol And ummm I like the name Berlin for a girl.
42. How did you feel when you woke up?
Fine.
43. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Nah they can wait til the afternoon.
44. Do you crack your knuckles?
Yessums
45. What were you doing yesterday at midnight?
Fighting Boredom.
46. What are your LEGAL initials?
NLD
47. Who's the first B in your contacts?
Brittany
48. When was the last time you laughed really hard?
Couple of hours ago.
49. Your number 1 top friend walks out of your life, do you go after them?
Hell yeah.
50. Explain your last awkward moment?
Fuck you!
51. Are you afraid of the dark?
Sometimes.
52. Do you have good vision?
I has glasses.
53. Have you ever tripped someone?
Mo fo shouldn't of pushed me into that locker freshmen year!
54. Have you ever slapped someone?
Bitch started it! Lol
55. Are you Irish?
I don't think so, but I drink.
56. Do you use chap stick?
In the winter.
57. Do you have any scars?
Many
58. Is there someone you will never forgive?
Not really, I tend to get over things pretty quickly.
59. Are you dating the person you last held hands with?
Nopers
60. Name the last person to text you?
Aky.
61. Would you marry someone 8 years older than you?
If I was in love yes.
62. Can you go in public looking like you do?
If I put clothes on yeah.
63. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a A?
Eww! Yes!
64. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
All over it's my bed!
65. What's the first thing you'll do on your wedding day?
Get married?
66. Do you fall for people easily?
No, I tend to try to stay away from feeling for people even if that fails every once in a great awhile.
67. Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
Negative.
68. Do you miss the way things used to be?
No, Like I wish I could go back and fix a certain mistake, but not really Im more concerned with moving on with my life and making better things happen for me.
69. Song you're thinking of right now?
Refer to journal title
70. Want someone back in your life?
Eh, just wish me and some were on better terms, they're not exactly out of my life.
71. Will tomorrow be better than today?
Im hoping.
72. What's the color of the shirt you are wearing?
What shirt?
73. Who was the first friend that you had?
Real Friend? Aky
74. Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Somewhat
75. Is there anyone who understands your relationship status?
Single is pretty self explanatory.
76. Are you a naturally happy person? Or is your happiness forced?
Eh, it's getting better. Im happier then I have been.
77. Is there anyone you wish would fall in love with you?
Not really, like it would be nice to meet someone but Im not too worried about love at the moment.
78. What do you wear when you sleep?
Nothing.. >.>
79. Are you obsessed with something right now?
Nope
80. The first person you loved is?
Matt and the only. Again, I don't really do feelings.
81. Something terrible happened with you?
I've had some sad things, but I wouldn't consider them terrible, Im a pretty lucky person in that aspect.
82. You are locked up with someone you love, what happens?
Rated R things.
83. If you could wish something, what would it be?
Peace
84. Ever forced someone to do something?
Nope.
85. When you are alone, what do you think about?
My future
86. How was your first kiss?
Not good.
87. What's your favorite music genre?
Rock
88. Are you going to tag people to do this?
No
Just so you all know...
Posted 14 years agoI don't hate anyone.
My phone is being a bit of a bitch so if I don't reply to a text or call or if it takes me forever it's not my fault.. My phone is pmsing.
Then again it could be just mad because I dropped it on the concrete floor at work like a dozen times...OOPS!
My phone is being a bit of a bitch so if I don't reply to a text or call or if it takes me forever it's not my fault.. My phone is pmsing.
Then again it could be just mad because I dropped it on the concrete floor at work like a dozen times...OOPS!
SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX
Posted 14 years agoStolen from SuzanneR.
YOU JUST WOKE UP NAKED IN MY BED, NEXT TO ME...... Who is also nude....
Using only 3 words, what would you say to me??
Note: If you comment, please copy and paste this as your journal, so I may comment on yours as well. Please be a good sport.
YOU JUST WOKE UP NAKED IN MY BED, NEXT TO ME...... Who is also nude....
Using only 3 words, what would you say to me??
Note: If you comment, please copy and paste this as your journal, so I may comment on yours as well. Please be a good sport.
BOOBS!
Posted 14 years agoLAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Nancy or Nannie
- Eye Color: Green
- Hair Style/Color: Long and Brown
- Height: 5'6
- Clothing style: Idk.
- Best physical feature: no clue.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: dont trust a fuckin horse
- Your guilty pleasure: Alcohol and Men.
- Your biggest pet peeve: Annoying voices
- Your ambitions for the future:A better job
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: Dammit.
- What you think about most: Well I do the shit I do.
- What you think about before bed: I should of went to sleep hours ago!
- You think your best quality is: Idk
LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates:single
- To be loved or respected: love
- Beauty or brains: brains
- Dogs or cats:cats
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: sometimes
- Believe in yourself: No.
- Believe in love: eh. for some people maybe.. not too sure if it's for me.
- Want someone: Always.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Nope.
- Done drugs: Weed
- Changed who you were to fit in: Hell no.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Black, Red, Purple
- Favorite animal: Kitties!
- Favorite movie: Boondock Saints
- Favorite game: Metriod
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: Saturday
- How old will you be: 22
- Age you lost your virginity: 19
- Does age matter: Not too much
LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Happy, Funny, and idk just cool to be around.
- Best eye color: Idk.
- Best hair color: I like guys with darker hair
- Best thing to do with a partner: Chill
LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: Music
- I feel: meh
- I hide: I need to go back to hiding my feelings.
- I miss: When things were easier..
- I wish: to figure shit out.
LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
Reptar.
- Name: Nancy or Nannie
- Eye Color: Green
- Hair Style/Color: Long and Brown
- Height: 5'6
- Clothing style: Idk.
- Best physical feature: no clue.
LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: dont trust a fuckin horse
- Your guilty pleasure: Alcohol and Men.
- Your biggest pet peeve: Annoying voices
- Your ambitions for the future:A better job
LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: Dammit.
- What you think about most: Well I do the shit I do.
- What you think about before bed: I should of went to sleep hours ago!
- You think your best quality is: Idk
LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates:single
- To be loved or respected: love
- Beauty or brains: brains
- Dogs or cats:cats
LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: sometimes
- Believe in yourself: No.
- Believe in love: eh. for some people maybe.. not too sure if it's for me.
- Want someone: Always.
LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Nope.
- Done drugs: Weed
- Changed who you were to fit in: Hell no.
LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Black, Red, Purple
- Favorite animal: Kitties!
- Favorite movie: Boondock Saints
- Favorite game: Metriod
LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: Saturday
- How old will you be: 22
- Age you lost your virginity: 19
- Does age matter: Not too much
LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Happy, Funny, and idk just cool to be around.
- Best eye color: Idk.
- Best hair color: I like guys with darker hair
- Best thing to do with a partner: Chill
LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: Music
- I feel: meh
- I hide: I need to go back to hiding my feelings.
- I miss: When things were easier..
- I wish: to figure shit out.
LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
Reptar.
No sleep!
Posted 14 years agoStolen from Dammit and Tig because it's 5am and there is nothing to do or anyone to talk too.
First
* First job: Recycling Place
* First screen name: evilgirlintheshadows (I still have it.)
* First funeral: Uncle Butch
* First pet: A rot named Lady.
* First piercing: Ears
* First tattoo: Stars
* First credit card: None
* First kiss: Matt
* First enemy: Savanna stupid bitch.
Last
* Last car ride: store
* Last kiss: like 2 weeks ago.
* Last movie watched: Kings of the lost world
* Last beverage drank: Cherry Pepsi
* Last food consumed: Pizza
* Last phone call: Grandma
* Last time showered: This morning
* Last CD played: The Birthday Massacre
* Last website visited: This one
Now
* Single or taken: Single.
* Gender: Tits and Vagina
* Birthday: Aug 27
* Sign: Virgo
* Siblings: 1
* Hair color: Blonde
* Eye color: Green
* Shoe size: 9
* Height: 5' 5
* Wearing: Tshirt
* Drinking: Pepsi
* Thinking about: Red Stars Birthday Massacre
First
* First job: Recycling Place
* First screen name: evilgirlintheshadows (I still have it.)
* First funeral: Uncle Butch
* First pet: A rot named Lady.
* First piercing: Ears
* First tattoo: Stars
* First credit card: None
* First kiss: Matt
* First enemy: Savanna stupid bitch.
Last
* Last car ride: store
* Last kiss: like 2 weeks ago.
* Last movie watched: Kings of the lost world
* Last beverage drank: Cherry Pepsi
* Last food consumed: Pizza
* Last phone call: Grandma
* Last time showered: This morning
* Last CD played: The Birthday Massacre
* Last website visited: This one
Now
* Single or taken: Single.
* Gender: Tits and Vagina
* Birthday: Aug 27
* Sign: Virgo
* Siblings: 1
* Hair color: Blonde
* Eye color: Green
* Shoe size: 9
* Height: 5' 5
* Wearing: Tshirt
* Drinking: Pepsi
* Thinking about: Red Stars Birthday Massacre
STUCK IN MY HEAD
Posted 14 years ago<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HzhLj8UMOkE"; frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Kill the lights by The Birthday Massacre.
Kill the lights by The Birthday Massacre.
Dear..
Posted 14 years agoFucking Blah feeling stay the FUCK away. Mk? I stayed in bed all day yesterday because of you and I really needed to get up and do things before work!
Al-well I will get said things done tomorrow before work. I will be on vacation for 5 days after tonight at work technically. So yay! I get to spend all those days harassing Aky and other friends!
mk
I should try to sleep now.
Al-well I will get said things done tomorrow before work. I will be on vacation for 5 days after tonight at work technically. So yay! I get to spend all those days harassing Aky and other friends!
mk
I should try to sleep now.
