I just lost about a billion ISK to Russian pilots....I am sad now.

First off I would like to thank my watchers who have added me recently while I was away. And of course those of you who have already been interested in my work.


Sorry about me not being around for the last few months. nut I am slowly making my return with a few new things. My life has been....well hectic. And to be honest it's a mess in a lot of ways. To everyone on here I'm sorry for not bieng here and not being as social as I once was. I have been kinda swamped with stuff and been a bit depressed here and there. I need to manage my time better and one of the things I started to save time on is I do not get on the internet as much. Hell I finally had to say screw it with a lot of my social life because well, at some point I realized I was hanging out with people WAAAAY too damn much. Between trying to study, trying to get stock ready for various purposes, trying to practice my craft, trying to keep up with friends, trying to do haunt stuff, spending time with my girlfriend (major time eater but it's worth it) and running a exhibit at the Gem and Mineral Show amongst a plethora of other crap. In the coming months i will be teaching clases and overseeing others in lapidary arts...fun times.

There are a lot of you I need to talk to actually at some point in the coming weeks I plan on getting a hold of you all.



Also Furry Fiesta is coming up and I will be there like last year. I will be bringing my chainmaille with me to sell and as an added bonus I will be bringing my spheres with me to entertain fokls with my contact juggling. And if ya like my juggling leave a tip lol.

Ladies and gentlemen I give you...Blackstone Prison!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSKluEu7yMY

And yes...I work there.

Well it's about that time of year again. The night air is getting cooler, there is candy on the shelves, and it suddenly the color orange is in style. It is getting close to Halloween and you know what that means? Haunted houses. And mine opens up this weekend and I could not be more excited.


If you live in Texas you should pop into Tyler some time on the weekend and check out Terror Nights Haunted House. We even have a FURRY as a character. We have an evil easter bunny character. At first when they told me about the bunny I thought it sounded stupid....but then I saw it in action and ate my words. It....is surprisingly creepy. And no it is not me but I may try to drag him to some cons and maybe post some pictures of him if they let me.

If you do happen to stop by I will be the inmate in the first hallway near the admin desk. I am the FIRST character you get to encounter apon entering a haunt. I am the intro as it would seem. Don't ask for pics of me because they don't exist...yet anyway...


http://www.terrornightshaunt.com/index.php

As of today I have turned 21. So at last I can buy my own booze instead of just handing my parents or a friend money and saying "Buy this, this and this." So I am pleased with that. And I am looking forward to hitting up a casino at some point in the future. However There were no festivities on my birthday due to the fact that me and my family are in a bad financial situation. So yeah...my birthday was a bust.


And I am sorry I have not posted in like a month. I have been busy lately and one of my light tents lights is busted so I did not wish to take any under par photos. (Not that my photography was ever that good in the first place.) But I will most likely post some neat new things in the coming weeks including my basket that I have been meaning to post for ages, a new belt, and a new tie.


Let there be; let there always be never ending light.

So...for some bizzare reason I started listening to You Spin Me Right Right Round....while smoking a cig, while dancing, while singing along, while contact juggling with my spheres, while my friend was tossing grapes into my mouth... This all came totally at random. Now I just need to do it again and record it on video some time.

Just a reminder to those who have been waiting for or are interested in getting a commission from me. I have finally cleared my plate and am able to take on commissions again. So let me know if you want anything now in case I get swamped again. Depending on how large the projects are I will be able to take more or less before they are full.


Seriously buy something or commission me I want to get into other mediums like leather, plate and metal knitting and I need the starting money to do so!


Status report:

Slot 1:  dusty-panda Chainmaille tie. Status: in progress

Slot 2: Chestnut Stalion, chainmaille belt. Status: In progress

Slot 3:

Slot 4:

Slot 5:

Slot 6:

So a friend popped up on AIM the other night and after some teasing and playful bickering, somehow the convo became rather strange fast. Now before you read this just know I am not really this full of myself. I just have an odd sense of humor.


Friend: you dont have to like it. this isnt "lets all please skinnyboy" world >__>

Me: Yes....yes it IS Let's All Please Skinny Boy World. Because I am that awesome.


Friend: only in your head >__>

Me: My head is an awesome place filled with glory and sexy parties.

Friend: LOL

Me: We may as well get it over with and re-name our town Loopy Land.

Friend:well.. thats better than tyler >__>


Me: Without me this town is doomed, I am the only thing keeping this town from imploding on its own fail. It would be a violent toilet flushing filled with suck, lame and peoples torn bodies.

Friend: i have no proof to disprove this >__>


Me: Indeed. Now you should be thankful that I continue to ooze my awesome juices all over the place for the good of this towns simple people.




And at the end of the story I am declared the Awesome Hero,
the town is re-named Loopy Land, and there is a parade held in my honor and all the ladies toss their panties at me like some form of sexy confetti as I pass. The End.

God I just finished most of the commission work I needed to get done. I have like one more thing and I am TOTALLY FREE.

So to celebrate i was looking forward to a long weekend of loafing around on the computer playing EvE and Team Fortess 2 or something. And it was brought to my attention that there was a haunted house crew gathering in Dallas. But they told me about it like AN HOUR BEFORE IT WAS TIME TO GO! "What didn't you see it posted on Myspace?" "No I F-ing HATE Myspace and I don't have one!" So I had to get ready to go in less then 30 minutes. Which sucked because I was up ALL night the night before and was very frumpy and unshaved.

Even though it was a pain to get out there in time it was fun. A bunch of people from around the state showed up to have dinner and in general mingle. Not to mention check out a few houses. Mmm I have to say I enjoy spending time around people who understand me and why I like to hear people scream.


But now I am verrrrry tired....




But anyways now that my time is not being eaten up by other crap I am willing to accept commissions again. So everyone who wants something nows the time to start getting put on the list.

Greetings my dear friends and viewers. Please forgive my long winded ramblings. If you do not have any interest in my life you may move on to the bottom of the page.

As some of you may know I have been depressed for a very long time...for various reasons that some of you may know at least bits and pieces of. I finally feel as if I am coming through it... I can feel the pain and anger slipping away...It is hard to describe how my emotions work or what has been going on. I guess you could say I felt disconnected, as if I lost parts of who I am or was... I also had a lot of hate and pain getting in the way of who I am.


However as of late I somehow have been feeling the fire of my heart rekindle somewhat. I am rediscovering the lessons I have learned and the reasons of my actions. I feel the same sense of honor I once held so close to my heart. My own moral compass that I have always followed even more then any religious doctrine has starting to work again. I feel love again for those around me. I am undoing much of the damage that was done to me in the past and I have begun reaching out to The Divine again.


No this is not a "I found Jesus" type of thing. I am merely healing wounds and getting back on the path that I once followed. This is an interesting phase so you must all bear with me. I feel happy...And I want those around me to feel the same.


I feel ashamed to have fallen into this rut as I have. I used to be a hero in the eyes of some and yet I lost my way so easily. I forgot how much it mattered to me to be an inspiration to those around me, to guide, to encourage, to comfort, to be there for them and in general be a positive influence...Even if ten mintes later I go back to saying dirty things and scaring people.


No I am not changing and I will still be the dark gothic and spooky guy I always am. Anyone who has not seen the other side of me does not know me very well. "You know for such a nice guy you have a very evil laugh." Will always be something I hear.





In completely non-emotional news I am thinking about revamping my page and journals a little bit and posting more work. Mayhaps even sharing some other forms of art. And I think I have just about finished with my revamped fursonna so I may start commissioning people (and collecting on pictures people already owe me) so you guys can look forward to *gasp* furry art on my page in the near future.

Also I am getting more free time and becoming more social again soon! So to those who I have not spoken to much feel free to say hello some time.

Hey everyone go and give  crystal-fox some attention. She has some pretty cute art and yet nobody is commissioning her. And it's CLEAN, my God clean artists hardly get any attention so GIVE HER SOME.


Edit...stupid site code...finally remembered the right symbols.

I have been working on scale maille too much lately...I can't get the metal scales out of my brain. I am even dreaming about the scales now! *snarls* How am I spos to rest if I am dreaming about work?

Furry is not a fetish.

Before you comment on that, think about it.

If you want to change a community for the better, you need to change the precepts that determine how those within it view and interpret it.

If you agree with this, copy it, paste it in your own FA journal, and post it. Spread the word.

So I have noticed I almost have 2000 page views...My I never expected to get this much attention. Well to celebrate whoever can send me a screen shot of their screen with my page views at 1999 or 2000 will get some form of prize (whichever actually bothers or comes first). Like a free birthchart or a discount on jewelry or something.


Also as some of you know I play Warhammer 40K. I have been playing Space Wolves for some time but recently I have started an Ork army as well. I am currently looking for models and bitz from any army inluding Fantasy bitz but I am mostly searching for Ork and Marine models and bitz but anything will do. After all anything works well for gubbings and custom jobs. I am willing to do art trades and such for some things.

So I am going to A-kon again this year. http://a-kon.com/

Is there anyone going to be there? If so mayhaps we can meet up and hang out or something. If nothing else say hi.

And me and my two buddies have a room reserved already, we had a few friends who were spos to go with us but they canceled. So if anyone is interested in going we have some extra space. For a room share you can stay with us for the convention. Though I am sure most everyone who is going is already prepared I figured I would toss the idea out there in case someone wants to go but could not get a room.

So last weekend I went to Virginia with a friend of mine to help move his daughter back home. Keep in mind I live in Texas so this was like a 26 hour drive down there.

Before I go into the details of the trip I spos I should set a little bit of background for y'all. When I was about *waves a paw a bit and squints while thinking* 15 I think. I was dragged along on some kind of double date thing by a friend of mine. He wanted to go to the bowling alley with some girl he had the hots for but she was bringing a friend along so naturally he made me come along to keep her company.


Well me and her got to know eachother a bit and hung out and talked on the phone a lot. We were not really dating even though that may have been the original intent. To be honest I was not emotionaly ready to date or care for anyone at that age and when I DID date someone it was because I was pestered into it by my friends. I was unwilling to trust and all of my emotions were under lock and key. I was also dark, angry and hated to show emotion of any kind. Those of you who know me can tell I am much warmer, open and loving than I once was...I am almost a completely differant person.


I had other reasons for never becoming more close with her, like the fact I was always mature for my age and teenagers made me grind my teeth in irritation. So even though she was my age I felt she was irresponsible and somewhat stupid. Now don't get me wrong having a childish sense of humor or liking things like games or anime that some people would dub childish does not bother me at all infact I love those things. No I mean she was childish in that she did not ever seem to think before she did things and was still very simple minded and had little control over her thoughts and feelings like how most teenagers are.


But anyways, at some point she had been talking about me to her parents and had mentioned that I like to play D&D and whatnot. So her father invited me to come play D&D with him his son and a few other guys. So naturally I did so. I ended up hanging out with her dad and brother more than her and I still do to this day.


Time passed and me and her grew more and more distant when she started dating guys, to the point we lost contact. Well years later she got married at way too young an age and I thought it was stupid to begin with. Well years later her father tells me she is getting a divorce and needs help moving all her crap home to Texas from Virginia. Being the nice helpful guy I am, I offered to come with and help.


So we took his truck and got a U-haul trailer and made the 26 hour drive down there non-stop. It was fun and naturally we just shot the shit the whole trip. Since he was Mormon and I was curious I finally broke down and asked him for a full explaination of what Mormons believe. That ate up a few hours of the drive. I have to say...I don't care for thier ideas of the afterlife. Very odd...Mine my be harder to understand but it is less goofy. Not that I am hating on the Mormons.


We arrived and lo and behold she had died her hair black and had a bunch of tatoos and piercings. Which he was pissed about. I am a goth even though I have no piercings or tatoos but I am used to them and hardly mind them. But hers looked bad and I gave her shit about her snake bites. Other than that she looked pretty good with her hair black. Me and her fell back into our old ways pretty quick with mock combat and teasing a lot as if no time and passed at all. Though I was dissapointed to find she had hardly grown up or matured at all...

We all spent the day out by the beach and had diner etc. It was pretty cool seeing the ships and the ocean since I the last time I has been anywhere near the ocean I was a small child and could not remember it. She dragged me along to some shitty club in town to meet her friends. The club was so lame, it was more like a bar with a tiny little space for dancing. Worst club I have ever been in. Her friends seemed a bit intimidated by me and got very submissive and defensive when they would do things like hug her saying things like "Oh don't worry dude she is like a sister to me and bla bla blah" To which I told them to chill out and I don't care. Her friends were...stupid to say the least. And one of them got them kicked out of the club for taking a shot underage. So we left after having only been there for maybe half an hour so I was pissed about having to waste money to get in. And after that the fools hung out in the parking lot and all the little bastard did was rant and rave about the guy who kicked him out and how much he wanted to get into a fight with someone now. I was tempted to tell him to shut up before I grant his wish because I was tired of their nonsense.


We were planing on going site seeing while we were down there and just crash at her place. Weeeelll when we got there her damn dogs had been pissing everywhere and it smelled just...nasty. So instead of spending a day or two down there we just packed her crap up and left ASAP.


Well on the way home in the middle of the night the trailer pops off and starts skidding along the the highway while dragging us around the road. We were sanwiched between an 18 wheeler and the rails so it was not exactly a pleasant experience. Thankfully we managed to not get smashed by the 18 wheeler and pulled over to the side of the road. The trailer did slam into the rails and was kind of banged up. So we sat there trying to put the trailer back on the truck while cars were going passed us at 70mph closer than was comfortable. We realized that the monkey wrench to attach it was GONE...so we start looking for it and suddenly something comes flying down the road after being hit by a car sparking all the way. Well turns out that it was the wrench and he had left it on the back of the truck the whole way and it fell off along the road but was hit and bounced all the way back up to us. We got back on the road and made it safely home. Styx being our victory music as we road into town.



So all in all...I had an interesting week. Sorry if you thought the journal was too long but...what is the point of a journal if you are not going to write what has been going on?

So the other day I was sitting in a room with a few people playing video games when my friend laughs and says "check this out" and shows me a download for the 360 called "Xbox Remote Massuese"....Now on one hand mayhaps one can argue that it is used for actual massages...but with its deep saucy reds and general layout you can tell pretty easy that is NOT what it is meant for.


Oh and btw my computers have both burst into flames for the most part...YAY!!!! So yeah...I am extremely pissed. Stupid faulty wiring....I am really sorry for not having much of a presence here for the last few months but for the love of God my luck has been SHITY lately.


WH 40K Escalation League Tournament Update: Still undeafeted and only nead one more win to be the champ. Wish me luck. Come Sons of Russ! For tonight our enemies shall feel the fangs of the wolf!!!

CHAOS AND DISEASE! CHAOS AND DISEEEEASE!!! NURGLE NURGLE NURGLE GARBLESNARL *burble burble belch*

I could go into a long explaination as to why I am pissed off. But you know I think that expresses it very nicely. Jury duty, broken computer, retards at the store, taxes, personal frustrations I won't even go into and so on...


Good news though is I am undefeated in the Warhammer 40K escalation league tourny I am in. ATM I only have like two more guys to go and me and my Space Wolves have won. And if I am not involved in some kind of court case I will try to post some work this week from someone elses computer.


*runs off to look at more Nurgle figurines that I want but can not afford*

This is a tad late but considering how busy I have been and the fact my computer died AGAIN this will have to do. Once my computer part comes in the mail I will be social again and will post a bunch of stuff.

I went to Furry Fiesta the other weekend and had a blast while I was there. It was my first fur con and to be honest it was not exactly what I was expecting. I did not have the urge to strangle people as much as I thought I would. Also there were less people then I am used to for any kind of event even though we set some kind of record for first time attendence. I am used to large cons like Akon and almost 1000 people a night pouring into my haunted house. So I was able to recognize almost everyone after a while.


I met some pretty neat people and some cool artists while I was there. I still have not found them all on FA yet. Like the guy who did the art on the con T- shirts whom I sat next to was pretty cool. If I recall his name was Angel and if any of you know what his account is please let me know.

I am planning to go back next year and I think I convinced my friend Chestnut Stallion to try and join the staff. Some of you MAY know him from the LAN room from...MFM I think...or maybe it was MFF? Oh well hopefully I can pester him to make sure there will be all night frag fests at the con next year for sure.

Also I made a pretty good amount of money from my sales and commissions and to anyone who was there and bought something, THANK YOU! The money I made helped keep my family fed what with the whole massive medical bills and my mother not working etc that some of you may recall. Also it gave me the money I need to repair my stupid computer.


And to any of you who have commissioned me here I really appreciate it. I really need every penny I can get my hands on. Also to those of you who wanted to commission me but are on the waiting list I DO WANT your business as soon as I have the free time. If I forget be sure to message me on down the line.



Anways this journal grows long and it suddenly occurs to me I have snagged my pjs on my tools or something which has torn a very large hole in the crotch area... so I must now carefully make my way back to my room to change so nobody sees something they don't want to see.

Well I figured I would let everyone know that I may be a bit absent for about a week. Muy laptop has decided its time for its fan to die so I may not be very social untill it is fixed. As for my submissions I have FINALLY got around to finishing an important project and learning some camera tricks which will both greatly improve my photography.

I am also swamped with commissions for once. I have a suit of scale armor and several random jewelry projects lined up as well as getting some stock prepared for conventions. So my work load is looking pretty hefty for a while.


Anyways I am sorry for not being around BUT at least when I get back I will have a LOT of stuff to show off.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Ah Saint Valentines Day or as I like to call it Single Awareness Day...how a holiday devoted to martyrs becomes this....thing I have no idea. (Stupid Chaucer...)


You know what I did today? I helped build a haunted house. I tore down walls and helped build molds. So for once I was not bored and I actually enjoyed today even though I was really working on the one holiday I like which is Halloween. So yeah I had hearts all right...bloody ones mwahaha!



I never really liked this holiday to be honest. It's not even as romantic nor as awesome as it should be. People are forced to give crap to people they don't even like and even when they do like someone they never go that extra mile so they just buy a factory card and a box o chocolates or something as just as cokkie cutter and lame...wooo. Am I one of the only people that thinks hand written and hand made gifts are so much better? More than anything I just get tired of having to deal with a ton of my friends being pissy and moany all day. I used to manage an arcade...you can imagine how much angst was in THAT room. That and if anyone is a couple I can't hang out with them on V-day. So really all it boils down to for me is having to deal with other people differantly. And of course there is pink and red EVERYWHERE! *continues weaving pink and red chainmaille just to be slightly festive*


But none the less this year just as every year I am single once again on this day of days. I never seem to have anyone in the spring...I wonder why. *shrugs* I don't really mind so much all things considered. After all I may not like to be alone but I really hate being with someone I don't connect with. lol most likey had I had a girlfriend I would have ended up doing the exact same thing I did today anyway (come on, chicks who dig Halloween are hot)



So anyways FA *hugs everyone* I hope your day of raised emotions and sticky fumblings was enjoyible. As for those of you sitting around the house crying into a bowl of ice cream...well better luck next year. As for me I am going to continue with my hobbies as usual.


<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Wow...it finally happened...I just now noticed in the upper left hand box that there is something called "That thing you want"...It's a SEARCH FEATURE!! Yeeeehaaa!


In personal news my mother is coming home from the hospital tomorrow thank God. Also I am sorry I have not been posting even though I have a huge backup of stuff to show off. I am building myself a light box as soon as I have a little spare cash so i am waiting to take pictures.



Also I have been thinking about it...I have not really been showing anyone anything other then some of my random chainmaille projects. I have other hobbies I have been considering posting like for instance some astrology related stuff (after all it IS in my name lol) and of course gems and minerals. So I was thinking about putting together some educational posts from time to time. What do you guys think? Would anyone actually like to know about stones or metals? I think I will post a few and see what people think.


Also...Furry Fiesta. I will be there so anyone else who is going feel free to let me know and maybe we can meet up so you can see first hand what the chain making wolf is like.

Well it has not been a fun month...Since the main bread winner is sick all the money in the house has dried up for the most part and now I hav almost no food or toilet paper. Yay~. Bt none the less I we have been able to get our bills taken care of (hence why all the money is gone) and I have everything set in motion for the con next month I think...well I hope I make some money because I could REALLY use it. Hopefull Furry Fiesta won't be a bust.


Well my mother is going to live! Turns out she had what we thought she did. She had Endocarditis which is when bacteria decide to latch onto your heart valves and start EATING IT. Which is a pretty bad condition by itself not even counting the fact that it just so happened to be MRSA on top of it. She had a MRSA infection in her heart and blood which for those of you who don't know what that is, MRSA is a drug resistant super bacteria that USED to only be found in hospitals. Thankfully her heart valves were not damaged YET and we got to it in time so she is pulling through and should be able to come home in few weeks depending on if there are no more complications.


I just want to thank everyone who responded to my last journal it meant a lot to me.



If anyone would like to buy something from me like stretchy bracelets or ANYTHING now is the time. V-day is coming so why not get your loved one something shiny. AND I am broke and reallly need the money.

...I am not known for my emotions. It is somewhat known that I can be stoic and repressed at times when it comes to my pain...I may be decent at helping people through the good times and the bad. I am able to explain feelings and my words may be deep then...But for me? For me I have little words...Forgive me for my poor ramblings but I feel that if anything in my life was worth telling anyone about...it would be this. For once you get to know that I hurt.


My mother has been very sick of late. So sick it was to the point she was unable to move. After a time she was moved into my second room that holds my work bench, tv, games, etc to sit in my recliner and has lived there for the last few days. I have been busy trying to make several pieces for a display case next weekend but it has come to the point I have been unable to work at all from worry. For the last few days I have had to listen to the sounds of my own mothers agony in the room next me. She is now in the hospital and it is believed that she may have a potentially lethal condition. I will most likely know by tommorow or the day after.


I am rather worried honestly. I care about my mother more then anyone else in this world. Really she is the only one to have ever given me any emotional support of any kind my entire life growing up and is the only one who comes anywhere near close to knowing my feelings or what I have gone through. And to be honest at this point in my life I can scarcely imagine life without her around...



What will I have left? My elder brothers whom I hardly ever see eye to eye with,one of which I can hardly stand to be around. My father who I like don't get me wrong, but..can't explain it.



So pray my dear friends that all goes well...for if she goes I am not sure exactly what will happen. I may be very depressed for a long while...I may even go mad for a time...There very well be a long period in which you may not hear from me. To be honest I have no clue how I will react. I already have a lot on my mind without this...


For now I am trying not to think about it too much and spending time drowning out my thoughts with random media and spending time with friends. I think everything will be fine but at times like now at 6:30 in the morning since I can't sleep I find mysellf dwelling on it as I write these words.


But to make a final point...If I seem a little odd or distant lately....now you understand....I'm done vomiting feelings now.

Sooo I am going to Furry Fiesta in Dallas...who all is going? If anyone is we can meet up and like...do...stuff.