September 4th is the day i will be starting HRT!!

just another day....that sucks....just another day that makes me feel like shit.....just another day to make me depressed....

My thoughts go out to every one affected by the streak of tornadoes plaguing the state....especially those in the direct path of the F-5 that already took out Moore, OK

I placed a call to the medical center that i can have 3 steps and have access to hormones....long story short.....I have severe Phone Anxiety and I have been trying to call for 3 weeks, every time i called....i locked up, hit end call and dropped my phone and started hyperventilating, several times I collapsed hyperventilating. today same thing...only this time....I called, made the appointment....Hung up...and down i went....then i weakly got up and made my way to work.....I am now home....still ...shaking.....any whoozle....thought I'd let you all know that

...the ending....mother of.... god..my..brain... ~thick black smoke pouring out of my kitteh ears~

WIBBLEY WOBBLY TIMEY WIMEY SHIT RIGHT THERE!!! ~head explodes~

my ex changed her profile picture on face book to herself.....i....i....I can't bear to look at it...with out just shutting down.......it's like....the image....is a nuclear explosion in my emotional center....crippling it........

Ok....i broke down..and spent the money on the damn thing.....
First impressions......

Accusation: ((that's obtaining and installing it)) negative 500 of 10

Why did it get that score? lemme tell ya....I went out...bought the PHYSICAL COPY of the game thinking, oh hey, i can install it quickly....BOY WAS I WRONG! what the disk is, is a single CD.....with about 2-300MB of data....you heard me....TWO-HUNDRED TO THREE-HUNDRED MEGABYTES OF DATA....well that disk...installed the origin launcher, which then installed origin, something I HAD ALREADY since I have the sims 3 games....which then prompted me to input my simcity key, which you all know is hey its in, games, legal, its activated, download the updates I KNOW you came out with and lets go! well....then with this master piece of retardery......you must then download the SIMCITY LAUNCHER through origin....which guess what.....installs the game...from the EA servers, which are having SHIT FITS.....if you run shit AT&T internet..it takes SEVENTEEN HOURS to download 13-14 gb of game files....thats right...13-14 GB of the entire game.....provided your internet can stay connected that long....mine didn't..I had to restart the damn thing several times over the first 7 hours.....left it run all night....woke up to ....AN ERROR....thankfully it was an error that resulted from checking for updates.....now that the first paragraph is out of the way......we can move on....

Game itself: After a solid ten and one half hour of game play with a 40 minute Let's play video..to be posted later....~looks at youtube upload~ about 14 hours later....I score it a decent 8.5 of 10

It's ok, its not 100% perfect. I started out playing the tutorial...which like all tuts babies you through the how to play....now then...the first thing you hear is....SIMISH...or siminese...or what ever the fuck you wanna call the language in the sims games...even simcity 2k had freaking English...even if it was one phrase of "reticulating splines" It gets annoying after a while....especially ten hours....so I started a private "server" if you wanna call it that....and I pretty much sunk my first two cities....ok...practice round! I then joined a server open to the public...I built one industrial city, Kaligawa Center....with several areas to be residential...POPULATION BOOM!!!! 2k....4k....7k...25k....the number climbed higher and higher, how ever....i totally forgot about FIIRRREESSS i have police...i have hospitals...but dumbkitty here forgot about the flames.....and they are popping up so fast i cant get enough firetrucks in time....then i stopped that city to build another in the same region....population capped out at 108+k it can go higher....I just haven't played that city after that amount.....So then I built my second city....Asuna Point....I wanted it small...but things....soon got out of hand....again with the population counter....last i looked....population of...178+k! this time....i set up enough fire stations..and engines, and hell..even a helicopter....HOWEEVVEERRRRRRR.......the traffic is shit....all my roads around the main center...are maxed out...and still get clogged....the fire trucks, cop cars and ambulances....don't act like real ones...you know in GTA...when you have the siren and lights on...cars you know...MOVE THE FUCK OVER....not here...the emergency vehicle put along...like nothings happening......because of that...my firetrucks have been at the station....twice in 37 gamedays...in those 37 game days....43 of the 44 fires...burned down to the ground, crime's been going up...slowly..but I'm winning....also...the crap factory as I like to call it, seems it cannot handle the waste the city generates....the plant for sewage clean up...is about 64k simoleans...the extra add on tanks to help you tackle the sewage issue....40k...63% of the plant! HOLY FUCK....eh....raise taxes....oh right..taxes....Kaligawa point...taxes were low...and people were bitching! oh...you didn't know? well they can protest in front of city hall! but enough bitching....the fun part was this....

Having only ever played SimCity 2000...I am rather blown away with the change....cops respond to things on their own, firetrucks do the same....and ambulances! the ad ons to the buildings is great, and no life span of the power plants either! no more nuclear disaster for me....for now atleast till some one fucks up and Asuna Point becomes a Chernobyl...You can add on to clinics, police stations, fire stations, city utilities...not enough power? ADD ANOTHER GENERATOR/TURBINE/BURNER/REACTOR! unlike SC2K where not enough power = BUY A WHOLE 'NOTHER PLANT and string more lines!...in SC5 as I will call it now....all utilities are built into the roads, power, water, and sewage. in SC2K you can build anything anywhere you want....in SC5, you are constrained, to the roads....so you have to plan your shit before hand....know your space...know how far you can ad on to utilities and city services.

I did only have an issue or two....my net dropped out several times but I stayed connected, the world just re-synced, and I did get a message saying "SimCity Servers offline, trying to reconnect" but i WAS STILL PLAYING

TL:DR: GETTING IT WAS FUCKING HELL
Playing it was bliss!

Are your eyes bleeding.....good.... Cuz i think i'm finished ranting about it.... back to the game! I swear I should get Yahtzee from Zero Punctuation! to write this shit...he could make it funny....

I have run out of tears...I have run out of sadness....what remains is not nice............I have no happiness, I have no pain.....I am in no mood for anything.....I want to destroy things of pain.............i threw something across my room..i honestly dont care if i ever find again..................

Sooooo last week I snooped around my Dad's computer...and poked around his history....well....he's found my facebook.......has a nice BIG BANNER....that screams "OHAI!! I'M TRANS AND I WANNA BE A GIRL!" -.- He hasn't said a damn thing about it and my brain has sent me into panic mode....my therapist says wait and see....people tell me to talk to him.....but he scares the shit outta me...

....What I just saw on the news...sickens me....HOW DARE HE SHOOT CHILDREN!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SANE! Ryan Lanza......You are scum.....Ihope you meat your demise with law enforcement filling you full of holes!

A severely depressed or severely devastated mood setting....

I was on facebook..and some one posted about something that all they want...is this this and that from the elections and next president....I posted to them in the comment section..."All i want is Equal rights" and her religious bullshit response was, "And for what, those that commit sin" ok....HOLD IT RIGHT THERE FUCK THERE...for WHAT? pardon? did you just call a whole group of people a WHAT?.....She then deleted the post...QUICKLY. I then Posted this on my facebook....Please note...I am not trying to go after the accepting Christians here....only the bible thumping genocidal maniacs

"Tell me....Those that are religious and are my friends. I agree you have the right to your beliefs...but WHY do you complain about gays and try to force the beliefs on others? Might I remind you not 50 years ago you did the SAME thing to African Americans...They fought for equal rights...You bashed, you beat, you ganged up on. You preach "God is all loving" Yet you all say god wants to kill gays. Funny how history repeats itself. You see Gays as lower class...as dirt...as nothing but shit. Tell me...why does your god..that you say is all loving...tell you to commit genocide? If gay marriage...no..not gay marriage...If MARRIAGE is a threat to you...then you need to re-evaluate your bibles. The bible bans divorce....I see no laws about banning divorce....The bible demands a woman must prove that she is virgin, if she cannot she is stoned to death....Don't see that happening...The bible also says women are property of the man that had sex with them as well as must be submissive to their husbands.....really? Don't see much of that shit either. So please....Tell me why you are picking and choosing ONE thing and complaining?...Might I add..that the bible...IS THE BIGGEST AND LONGEST GAME OF TELEPHONE EVER!"

Remember....FREEDOM OF SPEECH...wanna know why I say this? YOU SAY IT WHEN YOU PREACH HATE BUT WHEN WE FIRE BACK IT'S "HAVE SOME RESPECT"...NO!! YOU DON'T GET RESPECT FOR BEING ASSHOLES! IT FUCKING DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!!

I HAVE AN IDEA! since so many people are bitching that the gays are bad....Let us do this, Start by denying straight people the right to marry, because MY god says so, then lets take away their benefits, oh and lets start firing because being straight is a SIN according to MY good book, oh..and lets teach my children It's ok to kill in the name of MY good book that says killing is a sin!

my blog has been shut down due to a group of people that have been attacking me constantly, there is a new address for it if people wish to follow it, but please only contact me via notes if some of you wish to follow it

Seriously? I have an idea....let's have "god" do his thing in westburo chapters around the country...and then let's picket their dead like they do to every one else, Spread the word, we cannot let these pieces of shit picket!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/.....6pLid%3D182541

Taken from  StripeKazama thought it would be a fun game!


Imagine the scenario that you're going to bed as usual, but as you wake up the next day, you find my fursona curled up against you, sleeping. What would your reaction be?

And what would your reaction be if you found YOUR fursona, curled up and sleeping next to you?

Basically..I was talking to someone from FA who is also MtF…and taking the hormones behind her parents back…names will not be mentioned, the light bulb went on and I thought I could get away with it….my mother knows…but my dad….lord I refuse to tell him…but the hammer of reality came down and SMASHED said light bulb with the force of Thor’s hammer. My therapist thinks it rather great I am depressed about an issue…solely the purpose of that issue…being mine alone…not someone elses….I have been crying to sleep for the past week, I don’t know what to do…I’m trapped at home, no one will hire me, I really doubt the military would take me, my motivation is gone…hell..I’m even crying as write this…I feel trapped….I refuse to go backwards….yet I can’t go forwards…..I have the chance of getting the hormones I need, yet at the same time pretty much risking my life and playing devil’s advocate with my father finding out…..and if I don’t go…I fear depression will swallow me…not to the point of trying to take my life…but permanently engulf me…. I don't know what to do......~curls up crying~

Pinkie Pie:
[] You’re the black sheep of the family.
[ ] You’re majorly hyper.
[] You love to siiiing!
[ ] You’re known for throwing great parties!
[ ] You’re great at baking.
[x] People sometimes don’t get your jokes.
[] You’re a prankster troll.
[ ] You’re a super-intense personality.
[ ] You have had strange pets.
[x ] You are known to go to extremes.
Total: 2

Applejack:
[x] You’re very stubborn.
[] You find great joy in working.
[ ] You prefer the country to the city.
[ ] You speak with an accent.
[] You HATE cheating.
[ ] You have freckles.
[x] You prefer casual wear rather than formal things.
[x] You wear your hair in (a) ponytail(s). (I did when I had long hair T.T)
[] You have a large family.
[x] You have trouble lying.
Total: 4

Twilight Sparkle:
[ ] You have a huge collection of books.
[x] You value your alone time.
[x] You have trouble making friends.
[x] You are very intelligent. (That's what I'm told...)
[ ] You write letters regularly.
[] You find a lesson in everything.
[x] You have trouble doing things “the old-fashioned way.”
[ ] You’ve recently moved to a new town.
[x] You’re rather sarcastic.
[x] You’re often accused of being a know-it-all.
Total: 6

Rarity:
[ ] You love being the center of attention.
[ ] You have a cat.
[ ] You sew well.
[ ] It’s well-known that you’re somewhat vain.
[ ] You love the excitement of the city!
[ ] You will overwork yourself to do something nice for your friends.
[x] You wear makeup. (come times)
[x] You’re prone to whining.
[ ] You have original taste in fashion.
[x] You enjoy bonding with your besties
Total: 3

Rainbow Dash:
[x] You love winning.
[ ] You like sports.
[ ] You have a funky hair color.
[x] You have fangirl tendencies.
[x] You have no problem speaking your mind.
[x] You will give up anything for your friends.
[x] You like being recognized for good things.
[x] You have no problem defying traditional gender-roles.
[x] You act now, think later.
[x] You’re very brave.
Total: 8

Fluttershy:
[x] You HATE being the center of attention.
[ ] You struggle with sharing your mind.
[x] You love animals and help them however you can.
[ ] You’re graceful.
[x] You’re very quiet or soft-spoken.
[x] You have a secret mean-streak.
[ ] You’ve been told you could model.
[ ] You’re the eldest of your friends.
[ ] You like wearing your hair loose and long.
[x] You’re very nurturing
Total: 5

whoo dash is on top

01) [X] You own tools that you use regularly
02) [x] You carry a wallet
03) [ ] You prefer movies or shows where there is more action than romance
04) [] You spit on the ground when not in a building.
05) [] You scratch where it itches when it itches
06) [ ] Your idea of good footwear is boots or tough tennis.
07) [x] Your wardrobe only changes if you gain weight or the clothes fall apart.
08) [] You don't count calories when eating.
09) [x] You have deodorant strong enough to make you socially acceptable, but not strong enough to make you smell like it.
10) [x] You tend to wipe your hands on your clothes instead of a napkin.

Total So Far: 5

Do you love:
11) [x] Video games
12) [x] Working on mechanical items.
13) [x] Building things.
14) [ ] Working out on gym machines
15) [ ] Getting in and out of stores as quickly as possible.
16) [ ] Football
17) [ ] Baseball
18) [ ] Wrestling
19) [ ] Boxing/ MMA
20) [ ] Hunting and/or fishing

Total So Far: 8

Do you shop at:
21) [x] Home Depot
22) [ ] Lowe's
23) [ ] Big and Tall men's stores
24) [ ] Hunting and Fishing supply shops
25) [x] Auto supply stores or other mechanic shops
26) [] Hobby shops
27) [] Comic book stores
28) [ ] Sports supply stores
29) [x] Video game stores
30) [x] Electronic supply stores

Total So Far: 12

Do you say:
31) [ ] Son
32) [ ] I can fix it.
33) [ ] Man-up
34) [ ] When I was your age
35) [] Don't be a wuss.
36) [ ] It's just a scratch
37) [ ] Take it like a man.
38) [ ] That's not how you do it.
39) [x] Shit
40) [ ] Here's your [insert profanity and what the person just said].

Total So Far: 13

Do you read:
41) [ ] Field and Stream.
42) [ ] Bear Magazine
43) [ ] Playboy
44) [ ] Sports Illustrated
45) [ ] Pro Football Weekly
46) [ ] Comic books
47) [ ] Men's Health
48) [ ] Men's Fitness
49) [ ] Men's Journal
50) [ ] Private Media Group, Inc.

Total: 13

Multiply your total by 2 and then you have your percent: 26% yay!! im still a girl!!!

Why should we be denied care because of the way we are?

https://www.change.org/petitions/st.....united-states#

Religion is like a penis
It's fine to have one
It's fine to be proud of it
But PLEASE DO NOT whip it out in public and start waving it around
And for the love of god PLEASE DON'T SHOVE IT DOWN CHILDREN'S THROATS!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!@!!!! this guy makes me laugh

http://www.godhatessinners.com/cont.....-Magic-is-EVIL

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3167658/ go here for a raffle!

Ehhh for the hell of it..repost

[X] you meow/bark to get attention
[X] you find pets toys amusing
[X] you get hyper by the smell of catnip
[X] you growl/hiss when someone gets too close to your food
[X] you growl/hiss when someone you dislike is too close to you
[X] you purr/shake your leg when someone shows you affection
[X] if someone tosses a ball, you chase it and brings it back (BALL!!!!)
Total: 7

[X] you love to be scratched behind the ear
[x] you love fish/meat (yummm X3)
[] you like to stick your head out trough the window of a moving car
[X] you like when people pet your head
[x] people can make you stop doing stuff by hitting you on the nose with a newspaper (OWWWIIEE!!!)
[X] you think feathers are fun to play with
Total: 12

[x] you sleep a lot during daytime
[x] you enjoy scaring birds
[] you lick peoples faces to show you like them
[x] you bite people if they annoy you
[x] you tend to steal food from your friends/family's plate when you have eaten all of yours
[x] milk or water is your favourite drink (i drink alot of milk product >.> usually cream)
Total: 17

[X] you own a collar and you enjoy wearing it (three!!!)
[X] you own a leash and enjoy wearing it (THREE!!!)
[X] you own animal ears/tail/paws or a fursuit (wishy i had a fursuit!)
[] you enjoy long walks in the park
[X] you meow/bark when you see something you want
Total: 21

[X] you call your hands and feet "paws" (YUSH!)
[X] you tilt your head when you do not understand what someone is talking about (all the meowing time)
[] you run to the door when someone mentions a walk
[X] you really enjoy cuddling
[X] you stretch your body and whimper a bit every morning when you wake up
[x] you can wake up and go back to sleep right away after looking around (who the fuck woke me up? zzzzzzzzzz)
Total: 26

[X] you have your favorite spot besides your bed where you like to sleep
[X] you meow or bark very often
[X] you hide when you get scared
[X] you run to the door to see who it is every time someone comes in to the house
[X] you like to chase flying insects and try to catch them with your bare hand
[X] you tend to chew on stuff a lot
[X] you like to do tricks to get a treat
Total: 33

[x] you own a wearable item/tag with your name on it (tag on collar....with My gf's name + catboy...need to get that flipped to Cassie...)
[X] you refer to your self as an animal
[] your username has something to do with animals
[X] your e-mail has something to do with animals
[X] if you get a bleeding wound, you lick it to make it feel better
[X] you look for edible stuff often
Total: 38

[X] you often find yourself looking trough the window for a long time
[] you like to say hi to strangers
[X] you like to be petted when you have done something good
[X] people think you act like a pet
[X] you growl/hiss at stuff you do not like
[] you like to eat grass
[X] if you get wet, you shake to get rid of the water
Final Total: 43


Now, take your score and multiply it with by two to get your final score.
43*2=86%

what the hell....

http://jezebel.com/5880990/in-nypd-.....nces-and-poles